Chapter Text
“What’s the plan?” Andy asked as the captain returned with her orders from the incident command
“Hughes and Warren you’re on triage” Maya instructed and the two assigned to the aidcar took their medic bags and quickly took off “…Gibson take probie and head to floor 8” she spoke to Gibson and Webster who nodded and grabbed what they needed awaiting any further instruction from the blonde “…Herrera, Montgomery you’re with me we’re heading to the back second building search and rescue. It’s supposedly clear but floors 10 and 11 need one final sweep” she added finally
“Got it” the team replied in unison
“Grab what you need and let’s get moving” Maya yelled as she pulled out the tools she herself wanted to carry as well as pulling on her oxygen tank and leading the two firefighters to the second building
They’d cleared the 10th floor quickly, there was no one there all the fire doors were closed, but the building was old. The beams creaked and the windows blew out with the ever rising heat. Maya needed to get out of there, she need to get her teammates she’d come in with out of there.
They were three doors off clearing the 11th floor when they found a victim. He was unconscious appeared to be around the age of 30, he had a femoral bleed and his pulse was weak but he was holding on he was still alive.
The three worked quickly, Travis administered a make shift tourniquet as Andy found a table they could load him onto. Maya mapped their way out, they headed for the stairs making it down relatively quickly though visibility was low and it was getting lower
“Cap that walls going to go we need to move” Travis shouted as the building creaked again as they moved slowly through the ground floor side stepping the flames, staying lower to the ground where the visibility was slightly better
“Let’s go” Maya called and just as the three picked up their pace the entrance in front of them disappeared into a fog of smoke, ash and plaster
The three fell to the floor, Maya landed on her stomach her helmet flying off but she kept her consciousness, as did Travis. Andy hit her head on a rock that had already fallen as she hit the floor. The three of them were exhausted and winded taking in smoke at an alarming rate
Maya lay still as she tried to catch her breath. In that moment she could give up, she could close her eyes, she could lay still and wait for her pass device to sound but she didn’t do that.
Something in her brain didn’t allow her to do that, more someone.
Carina’s voice was in her head telling her she loved her and needed her and couldn’t live without her. Telling her she needed to come home for their children, for late night cuddles in front of the tv, for Christmas mornings and summers in Sicily. She couldn’t give up, she didn’t want to give up
She pushed herself to her feet scrambling for her helmet and oxygen mask, she pulled Travis up too the two of them sitting up Andy and checking on the patient. They were all tired, they were already feeling the effects of the smoke and the heat from the flames but they each had their reasons to keep fighting, so they kept fighting
“Now what?” Travis coughed out
“Herrera keep obs on the vic, Montgomery with me, start digging” Maya instructed as she caught her own breath and stumbled to what she assumed to be an entrance and started throwing blocks of concrete
“MAYDAY, MAYDAY, this is Captain Maya Bishop we’re-“ Maya tried to radio when she realised she wasn’t even picking up static “…Travis stop” she called needing as much silence as she could get
“What is it?” He asked as he paused
“Press your radio are you picking up anything?” She asked
“Negative Cap” he shouted shaking his head
“Damnit! Comms are out…” Maya cursed the world for not giving her a break or a little helping hand in getting out of the situation she’d found herself in “…okay keep digging we’re on our own out here make a hole and we’ll go from there” she sighed angrily taking her anger out on the blocks on concrete she was shifting
“Copy”
“Herrera how’s the patient?” Maya called over
“Breathing, pulse is weak and thready but he’s alive” Andy replied her fingers glued to the victims neck
“How are you?” Maya asked
“Fine”
“Okay… come on Montgomery I know you can move faster than that” Maya shouted encouraging the firefighter to speed up
———
“Lieutenant Gibson where’s your Captain?” Robert asked in search of Maya having heard all of 19 had been sent into the buildings in search and rescue
“She, Montgomery and Herrera went to clear floors 10 & 11 of the second building” Jack replied as he closed the doors to whatever aidcar he was at and sent it on its way
“Before it after?” Robert asked, he’d been in the job a long time and he’s lost friends he considered family, he knew how to control his emotions but it always threw him to learn his wife was trapped “…before or After Gibson?” He bellowed again
“After” Jack sighed
“Grab whoever you can from 19, 88 and 42 we’ve got some digging to do” Robert shouted pulling on his own turnouts and heading towards where the second building once stood
“Yes Chief…” he nodded “…you heard him probie, find who you can”
“On it” Webster agreed nodding before running off to collate whoever he could find
The firefights made their way to what used to be the entrance of the second building, the front had fallen away completely and there was little to no sign of life.
The only entrance that once stood was now covered in debris, there was no way in and no communication with those trapped on the inside. They were searching blind. They didn’t know where they were looking, or how they were going to get in
“Bishop, Montgomery, Herrera… anyone call out!” Gibson called as he hit at the fallen debris looking for any kind of movement or response.
Deep down he was listening to a pass device, he wished he wasn’t but this was his reality
“You hear that?” Travis asked as he paused his attempt to move the brick wall blocking their path out
“It’s Gibson” Maya replied recognising the voice
“Bishop, Montgomery, Herrera… anyone call out!” Jack called again desperate to find his team mates
“Here, behind the wall, we can’t move it” Maya called back banging at the wall with her halligan to guide Jack to where they were trapped
What the blonde hadn’t realised was that in the collapse they’d been pushed into what used to be the atrium of the building. Gibson and Sullivan quickly devised a plan to chain up the fallen piece of debris and attach it to the truck to pull it away
“Stand back, we’re going to pull the wall back with the truck…” Sullivan shouted back “…shout when you’re clear” he ordered
The two scrambled back to where Andy was with the patient pulling her and the patient clear too
“Clear!” Travis and Maya shouted in unison
It took all but 30 seconds for the truck to pull back the debris making a hole large enough to evacuate the four whilst still holding the main structure of the building without risking another collapse
“Hey you okay?” Robert asked as he pulled Andy through the gap noticing the large cut on her forehead
“Yeah fine…” she replied “…the patient needs treating” she added quickly turning her focus away from her husband and back to the reason they were trapped in the first place
“Let’s move!” Sullivan shouted as the filtered the patient through the hole in the wall closely followed by the three trapped firefighters
They were coughing and spluttering by the time the reached the gurney, Andy was quickly intercepted by Ben who instantly treated the cut on her head whilst Travis made a b line for the crate of water.
Maya continued to work on the patient continuing the compressions as the paramedics worked around her to attach the defib before calming clear and shocking the man make into sinus
“Maya you need checking out” Vic called as Maya helped load the patient onto the gurney
“I’m fine” she snapped back but agreeing to take the water bottle extended to her by Jack
“You’re covered in blood” Vic replied with a stern look
“It’s not mine” Maya shook her head focusing back on the patient
“Maya” Vic sighed, she could see Maya didn’t seem to have an cuts or open abrasions but they were in there for a while and the speed at which she drank the water would suggest she was suffering with a dry throat from smoke inhalation
“I said I’m fine…” she replied again equally as snappy as before but now with only one thing on her mind “…Where’s this ambulance going?” she asked the paramedic assisting them with treatment
“Grey Sloan” he replied looking up from having intubated the patient on the gurney
“I’m coming with” Maya replied
“Yes Cap” he nodded not prepared for the reception he’d receive should he have said no
———
It was a 10 minutes blue light ride to the hospital, Maya sat back and allowed the paramedic to work only offering help when asked but the patient was stable and if she was to guess the Grey Sloan surgeons would be able to save them
“Maya” Amelia shouted as the blonde dashed through the ER leaving handover to the more than capable paramedics
“I can’t stop” she replied as she waved off the neurosurgeon and headed straight to the stair well
“Right yeah” Amelia muttered to herself knowing who the blonde would be looking for
She continued her run her mind empty, she wasn’t rethinking her actions she wasn’t replaying her calls. She wasn’t focused on how she could have done things differently, she didn’t care for that thought process at this moment in time.
A good captain takes a moment to sit back and reflect on a call, what went well; what could be improved; what drills needed to be reviewed; what drills needed to be added to training… a good captain was always reflecting the good, the bad and the devastating. Maya was a good captain no one would deny that, and this entire thought process would ran through her brain at 100 miles an hour, when she allowed it. Right now she wouldn’t allow it, she didn’t want to allow it, she wasn’t a captain right now. She was a wife, a mother, someone’s loved one and she needed to find her family, to let them know she was okay.
“Maya you’re alive” Teddy called as the blonde zipped down the hallway past the surgeon who seemed to be administering care in the hallway to help clear the overflow in the ER
“Hmmhmm, sorry need to find someone” was all Maya could bite out as the door to the stairwell flew open and she disappeared into it
Stairs were what she knew, as a firefighter they were all she took, as an Olympian it was one of those small day to day competitions she could have with her self; how many steps could she take at once; how fast could she get up them, it was self improvement, it was healthy self competition. Maya was good a running up stairs, she’d made a career out of it
“Where is she?” Maya called across the atrium to another surgeon she knew and recognised the desperation in her voice slowly increasing as she couldn’t find the one person she was looking for
“I don’t know sorry” Meredith replied from the front desk shaking her head unable to assist in the search for Carina
———
She’d burst into the daycare 20 minutes earlier, she’d listen to Carina finish the story, she’d had cuddles with her sleepy children, she’d assured her wife she was perfectly fine. Physically she was perfectly fine, mentally she still hadn’t allowed her retrospect and reflection infiltrate her brain.
Maya had picked up Eleora and allowed Carina to push Emilia in her stroller, Andrea remained awake… Maya knew he’d fall asleep as soon as he got into the car but for now she was grateful he was happy to bounce, skip and jump his way to the car in his own bubbly way.
The family made it out of the daycare taking a quick pit stop at Carina’s office to collect her own bags and coats. The Italian didn’t change, she didn’t have the energy, her scrubs weren’t dirty she’d changed just before she took up residence in the atrium when her eyes were glued to the news reel.
Maya smiled to herself as they stood in the lift down to the parking garage, Andrea was sat on the floor in the corner of the elevator singing quietly to himself the same Italian lullaby Carina used to send her children to sleep. The elevator toke its time to pass by the floors whilst Carina coaxed the pacifier out of Emilia’s mouth in the hopes it wouldn’t wake her up.
The elevator chimed and the doors pulled back to revel the cold concrete of the parking lot. Maya held out her hand to Andrea who bounced up and followed along side her behind his mama and baby sister
“I’m happy you came home mommy” Andrea smiled as he skipped along side Maya through the parking lot to Carina’s car
“Me too bubs” Maya smiled softly giggling as the boy bounced
“Why did it take so long, you were gonna ages!” he added rolling his eyes as he grabbed a hold of the hand Maya had extended to him when a car threatened to get too close to the pedestrian walk way
“There was a lot of people to help” Maya smiled looking down at him
“Did you help them all?” he asked softly as Carina pulled open the car door for him to climb into his car seat on the middle
“Yeah I did” Maya smiled strapping an asleep Eleora into the car before reaching to help Andrea
“Is my station family okay?” Andrea asked sweetly pouting up at his mom
“Yeah, they’re all perfectly fine” Maya smiled running her fingers through Andrea’s hair moving it out of his eyes
“Can I come to the station tomorrow and see them?” he asked looking at Maya before pouting at Carina who smiled softly at her sons pleas and worry for the people Maya had come to call family over the years
“Per favore” he elongated his plea pouting at Carina having learnt quite quickly that she was the one who always needed convincing
“Of course you can, I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you” Carina chuckled in reply sharing a smile with her wife
“Can we roll hoses?” Andrea asked hopefully with a wide grin on her face and Maya had to suppress a chuckle when she caught the eye roll from her wife who continued to strap Emilia into her rear facing seat
“Maybe” Maya smiled softly
“Va bene” Andrea nodded with a yawn and Maya knew that it wouldn’t be long until he joined his sisters in falling asleep
———
The drive was silent, it wasn’t the normal comfortable silence, it was awkward and the tension was thick. Maya wanted to speak but she knew there was only so many times she could tell her wife she was okay, she needed Carina to trust and believe in her. The blonde turned her head looking behind her to see all three of her children fast asleep.
Eleora was curled up in what appeared to be an uncomfortable position whilst Andrea’s head fell to his left shoulder with one of his fingers wrapped in Emilia’s hand
“What happened out there, why didn’t you call you always call” Carina asked breaking the silence of the car whilst simultaneously increasing the tension
“My phone broke, and the comms tower fell” Maya replied reaching over to take Carina’s hand in her own as she drove
“I don’t understand?” The Italian replied not taking her eyes of the road but also not pulling away from Maya’s touch
“The fire it was by the communication tower, the frequencies we use on the radios, the frequencies PD use and dispatch. It fell and it took out all our radios” the blonde explained the best way she could, there was more to it, there was a scarier aspect to it.
She left out the part of the three burning buildings and fallen wall, the rapidly spreading flames and the water shortage, she knew Carina may possibly find out those details one day maybe through the news, maybe overhearing a conversation at the station, she may even tell her herself once day. But for now Carina didn’t need to know that, she didn’t need another reason to be scared
“What happened to you phone?” Carina asked knowing that Maya always leaves it in the truck, she never keeps it in her turnouts it’s too dangerous
“I left in the truck and probie managed to break it” Maya replied with a small smile knowing that Webster had knocked her phone off it’s seat and dropped a halligan on it shattering the screen rendering it unusable
“Okay”
“I promise I’m okay Carina, I promise I’m not hurt” she added softly bringing the back of the Italians hands up to her lips and placing a soft kiss there
“I know, I believe you” Carina smiled turning to look at her wife as they stopped at a red light
They drove the rest of the way home in a more recognisable more comfortable silence, the tension had been broken it was no longer awkward. Carina believed and trusted her wife, and Maya had to manually breath every few seconds when she realised she’d made it out and she was sat in the car with her family
Carina made the final turn into their driveway, both of them releasing Maya was still in turnouts and Carina in her pink scrubs. Neither of them moved for a moment they just stared at each other, the headlights reflecting off the garage door lighting up the interior of the car as Carina turned off the engine with a sigh of relief at making it home
“I’m sorry” Maya whispered into the new found darkness as the headlights faded
“Don’t apologise for your job bambina, I’d never expect you to do that” Carina smiled softly shaking her head bringing a hand to Maya’s cheek to wipe away the stray tear that escaped the deep cerulean eyes
“I’m not sorry for my job but I am sorry for the hurt and pain it causes you” Maya replied quickly turning her head to place a soft kiss to the palm of her wife’s hand
“Maya I knew you were a firefighter when we met, I knew what your job entailed when we got married, I knew when we started talking about children…” Carina spoke quietly her eyes not leaving Maya’s, not for a single second
“…and when we picked a donor… and started IVF… I knew when we sat in the ultrasound and you made that comment about two heart beats meaning mine and the baby never once the thought of twins crossing your mind” the two smiled and chuckled at the memory “…I have known your job is dangerous from the first moment you introduced yourself as Captain Maya Bishop the firefighter who carries noses into ER’s, to every single life changing mile stone we’ve experienced since…”
“…does it scare me? Yes, do I wonder what it would be like if you job wasn’t as risky as it is? Sometimes. But I trust you and I love you…” she took a deep breath feeling her own voice begin to waiver “…Even though it scares me I know that whatever you do, any decision you make on a call or otherwise you’re always fighting to come back to me… to us” she added fighting back her own tears with a small nod to the three children each caught up in their own peaceful dream lands in their car seats
———
Maya had settled into her wife’s embrace cuddled tightly into her chest, she was usually the one doing the holding but tonight she needed to be held. At some point they’d strayed from each other but not by much, Maya had gone from laying on her wife’s chest to Carina cuddled into her back.
The clocked showed it was 4:30am, it was early, even too early for Maya. The early December whether darkening the cold Seattle sky still a deep navy in colour with the only light being that from the moon that shon silver rays through the gaps in the poorly drawn curtains
“Mommy” Eleora whispered as she gently shook Maya to wake her
“Good morning?” Maya questioned at the sudden invasion of her sleep
“It’s not good” Eleora pouted pulling her stuffed elephant closer to her and as Maya’s eyes adjusted to the dim light she could see the sad look on her daughters face and the tears threatening to fall
“What’s not good” Maya asked softly
“Me” Eleora replied “…I’m scared” Eleora pouted
“What of?” Maya asked but she herself was scared for the answer as she knew it would break her heart
“You not coming home mommy” Eleora sighed and a stray tear fell from her eye that she’d tried to fight so hard against
“Hey, come here…” Maya quickly threw the covers off her and pulled Eleora into the bed cuddling her tight as the four year old clambered to lay on her moms chest hugging her tight “…I’m right here, I’m home, I’m here with you” Maya whispered softly wrapping her arms around her daughter placing a series of kisses to the four year olds head
“I missed you” Eleora whimpered softly
“I missed you too, I love you so much” Maya replied running her hand up and down the girls back
“Can I have snuggles here until mama and Drea and Melee wake up?” Eleora asked lifting her head up to look at her mom
“Of course you can” Maya smiled softly rolling the girl to the side of her who quickly climbed back over her
“I want to go that side so I can hold Mama’s hand” Eleora replied crawling between her parents and grabbing Carina’s hand as she slept
Maya had expected the Italian to wake up as soon as she felt movement in the room but between the panic and fear of the unknown the blonde assumed she was completely exhausted and there was no way she’d wake up
“Okay”
“Ciao Mama, ti voglio bene” Eleora whispered placing a soft kiss to her Mama’s forehead melting Maya’s heart in her process
“EllyBelly go back to sleep” Maya whispered coaxing the girl to lay down in her arms and curl back into her
“Va benny mommy” Eleora yawned returning to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow
Maya barely slept after that her brain keeping her up as she watched her wife and daughter subconsciously cuddle into each other both sleeping peacefully.
She felt guilty for scaring her wife and children and she wished her job wasn’t so dangerous but it was moments like this that reminded her of what she was fighting for when she’d get stuck on a call.
She was fighting for early morning cuddles and duvet days, for cuddles and kisses and games of soccer in the backyard. She was fighting for love and her family, she’d always fight for love and her family no matter how hard or scary the situation may get.