Chapter Text
“What did you do to this poor car?” Arakita Yasutomo, a part-time car mechanic, full time student, asked with an exasperated tone. He was hunched over the engine, reaching over to disconnect its drained battery. “Your engine is acting like it’s a dying dog; your breaks are so rusty, it’s a miracle how your car can even stop; and your catalytic converter is a bust. Beaten to a pulp. What, did you drive off a cliff?”
“Into a ditch,” Makishima mumbled.
“Ha? And then what? You got a serious case of furious road rage that you ripped the shifter handle out?” Arakita pointed to the poor stick laying in the front seat. He didn’t know it was even possible, considering how the driver was a skinny beanpole with as much muscle mass as a silly banana (not that he himself was any better).
“... Yes,” came the reply. The slight pause made Arakita raise an eyebrow.
To be honest, this particular job wasn’t worth his below average paycheck. People assumed that having friends or family as customers would be a piece of cake, but they’re wrong. It was easier to deal with strangers, because the bad ones are either too stupid to make a valid complaint or smart enough to keep their mouths shut and pretend to be nice. Families and friends don’t have filters, and when one gets angry, it’s going to be hell for the next week. Arakita sighed. He was a fifth year mechanical engineering student (he might have flunked a class here and there), working at a small auto repair shop in between classes, and frankly, he was too exhausted to deal with Makishima’s inadequate explanations of what the fuck happened.
Why was he, a no-bullshit bundle of anger, friends with someone with the fashion taste of a fluorescent ferret? That was a good question. He blamed Kinjou. It started on a nice summer day when that asshole mentioned that a friend’s (who turned out to be the Sohoku climber) computer needed a new fan, and because Arakita was an engineering student, that made him automatically qualified to install it. He agreed, because he had a momentary lapse in sanity (and because he would be paid 50$ to do it). If he screwed up, he could always blame it on the fan not being a direct match to the model or the computer itself for being so old, though in the end he somehow did, in fact, complete the task without a hindrance. It was a miracle, because Arakita had absolutely no idea what he was doing (thank god for Google).
Arakita sighed. He shoved the battery into Makishima’s arms, and went back to his truck to grab his handy-dandy charger. “I need to use your wall.”
“I can do it myself. You don’t ne-” Before Makishima could finish, Arakita already interjected him.
“Hell no. I don’t trust you with my charger. If you break it, it’s coming out of my pocket.”
“I’ll replace it for you.”
“If you break my charger, I’ll break your face. You’ll probably set fire to your apartment in the process too. Since I irresponsibly allowed you to do something that I, the mechanic, should do, before I know it I’ll be sacked.” Arakita wasn’t usually this pessimistic, but who knows? In his mind, Makishima had a mysterious power that was the ability to guarantee the destruction of any machines within a mile of him. When this power spreads to affect non-moving objects, it would be the end of the world for sure.
Makishima grew visibly uncomfortable, of which Arakita took notice. Was it his fault? Probably. Did he care? No. All he wanted was a goddamn outlet so he can go back to diagnosing what else was wrong with the beat-up car. He’d have to tow it back to the garage, as it wasn’t a simple fix anymore.
“Fine. Follow me. Don’t wander off or I’ll have you executed,” Makishima warned.
“I’m not interested in finding out what kinky shit you’re into, if that’s what you’re worried about,” came the annoyed response. Makishima glared. Arakita wasn’t the type who would mindlessly get involved in other people’s businesses, and he seriously didn’t care. Following his green-haired friend, he entered the lobby of the complex, and walked up six flights of stairs before arriving at the door of the apartment (because, surprise, the elevator was out of order).
“Here’s the outlet,” Makishima pointed to the one right next to the entrance closet. Arakita simply set the charger down, grabbed the battery from his friend’s arms, and connected all of the necessary wires without batting an eyelash.
“I’ll come up in an hour or so to grab the battery. I only need to check to see if it’s working properly or not, because it looks like it hasn’t been replaced in ten years or something. If it doesn’t work, I need you to buy a new one as soon as possible so we can start working on all of the problems your car has. Meanwhile, don’t touch anything. Got it?”
“Yes,” Makishima dutifully replied. Arakita figured that it’ll be easier to straight-up command the guy to buy a new one anyway, but if this battery was fine, there was no reason to replace what wasn’t broken.
“Before I get back to work, I need to use your bathroom.”
“Sur- Wait!” A panicked Makishima hurried blocked Arakita’s path. “I-uh, you can’t use the bathroom.”
Well that was odd. “Why?”
“Because…” Makishima was too slow for Arakita. The impatient man pushed past the panicking climber, though within five steps, he found himself, again, facing Makishima.
“Because my toilet is broken!”
“Ha?”
“It won’t flush! At all.”
“Good thing I have experience fixing toilets. Thank my shitty dorm-mates for that.”
Arakita could almost hear the panic in Makishima’s mind. Guess he didn’t expect his excuse to backfire spectacularly.
“No! I mean, the bowl is completely broken. In two. That’s why it can’t flush.”
Arakita paused for a bit. He scrunched his nose and sniffed the air twice. “Yeah, I smell bullshit.”
Makishima made an ugly choking noise as Arakita once again pushed past him, and entered the bathroom. He thought Makishima was hiding something in the bathroom or something, like a lady’s thong or a stuffed rainbow unicorn. What he didn’t suspect was being greeted with a bucket-full of water, effectively drenching him from head to toe, and a sight straight out of a fucking shoujou manga.
“You’re not Maki-chan!” An annoying voice squeaked.
“What the fuck Makishima!”
Toudou had been stuck in this preposterously small plastic box called a “bathtub” (Toudou argued that it was tank, because only tanks could hold sea creatures) all day without any sort of entertainment or relief. Seriously, if he found a way to get back to the sea by himself, he would’ve done so the minute he realized he would be spending his entire day half-submerged in this weird water. It wouldn’t be so bad if Maki-chan was here though.
Ugh. The tub was so small, he couldn’t even stretch his tail out! The minute he did, he would knock over bottles of random chemicals or maybe break a ceramic decoration, and Maki-chan would get angry at him. It wasn’t his fault! If his human went to visit him at the bottom of the ocean, Toudou would make sure to give Makishima the best of the best. He would probably drown, but that wasn’t the point.
The merman pouted and submerged his upper body in the water. Ugh. His tailfins were now out of the water. When Maki-chan gets back, Toudou will chastise him for leaving him alone for so long, because Makishima promised he’d be here today. His unanswered calls for companionship was proof that the promise was already broken. No, no. Maki-chan was maybe just out to get food or buying some necessities! At the local “supermarket” or something. Toudou didn’t know everything a human would ever need was aggregated into a single building, and honestly, he pictured something completely different before Makishima had to show him a picture of a store’s interior (he imagined flying and running animals, and people had to catch them with a net). But now that he knew access to items was as simple as entering a door, why would his friend take so long? Toudou grunted. He was bored out of his mind.
While Toudou wallowed in the lukewarm bathwater, he heard a click, followed by footsteps. Maki-chan was home! He knew Makishima would’ve kept his promise! Toudou’s jubilance only lasted 0.9 seconds as his mood changed into that of annoyance. He was still mad at his human, so he decided to do probably the only thing he could think of: Splash water around. More specifically, he would drench Maki-chan with a nice bucket of karma. The merman grabbed the nearest bucket, filled it with water, and quietly waited for his prey. Meanwhile, he completely missed the sound of bickering and small commotion right outside the bathroom door, and the second the door opened, Toudou threw the bucket’s contents onto the unsuspecting Maki-chan. He realized too late that the victim was, in fact, a complete stranger.
“You’re not Maki-chan!” Toudou exclaimed, now panicking. The stranger was a man around the same age as Makishima, but uglier and louder. A two at best. If he cleaned his dirty self, Toudou might bump him up to a three, but as of right now, the man was slathered with black stuff (that looked gunky when wet) that Toudou found repulsive to look at.
“What the fuck Makishima!” His voice sounded angry. “Wha-who-why do you have a mythical creature in your bathtub?!” He pointed at Toudou, sprinkling a few droplets of black-ish water onto the tub.
“I can expl-” Makishima began to speak, though he was cut off by the exasperated man.
“You have a mermaid in your bathroom! A mythical creature! Mermaids don’t exist!”
“Excuse me, but I am a merman,” Toudou interjected. “And I do, in fact, exist.”
The black-haired man stared at Toudou in silence, mouth slightly agape. “It talks!”
“I am not an ‘it’!” This felt like a deja vu. “Where are your manners? I am offended.”
“Uh… I-uh,” the man stammered. “I apologize.” He turned back to Makishima. “He talks?”
“Much better.” Toudou nodded.
“Yeah. Though he has trouble with slang and gets his vocabulary mixed up a lot, but yeah, he can talk. Like a foreigner who’s trying too hard,” Makishima replied.
“That’s not my point!” The man flailed around, almost smacking the sink (he did leave a wonderful streak of black on the wall though). “He is a mermaid! Merman! Merwhatever! Half fish, half human. Can’t you see how preposterous that is? I mean, have you seen the documentary Animal Planet did awhile back? If anything, merwhatevers don’t have scales! If he-” The stranger gestured to Toudou. “-was scale-less, then yes, I can maybe believe it, but he has scales!”
“To be fair, that documentary was entirely made-up,” Makishima retorted.
“That wasn’t the point.”
“Then what is?”
“Merwhatevers don’t exist.”
“But Toudou does.”
“Toudou?”
“That would be me,” Toudou happily chimed in. “I’m Toudou Jinpachi, the fastest and most beautiful merman ever to exist.”
“Oh god, he even has a giantass ego,” the man sighed.
“Rude.”
“And what’s with that headband? So lame.” He pointed at the navy headband resting in Toudou’s hair.
The merman gasped. “Excuse you, but headbands are the most amazing inventions every created by humans.” He crossed his arms. “And you dare call it lame? You have no fashion sense whatsoever. Maki-chan should teach you something about decorating yourself.”
“Okay, first of all, the proper term is ‘dressing up’, not ‘decorating yourself’. Second, this weirdo has the oddest taste for clothes. No thanks.” The black-haired man was probably one constipated little dude, Toudou concluded.
Makishima only shrugged. “Have you accepted Toudou’s existence yet?”
The stranger sighed. “I am a man of science,” he stated. “I am an engineer. I study physics and mechanics. I only trust something if I see concrete proof. If I still deny the existence of mermaids after seeing one, then I don’t deserve my degree.” He sounded very dejected. “But still! Mermaids! Half fish, half human! Do you know how ridiculous it sounds?”
“I know. I reacted similarly too.” Makishima shrugged again. “Just without all the screaming and swearing.” He turned to Toudou once again. “This is Arakita Yasutomo. We met back in high school.”
“Hmph!” Toudou stuck out his hand to shake Arakita’s. The man sheepishly took his hand and (awkwardly) shook it, mumbling something about “shaking hands with a merwhatever”. Toudou immediately regretted his decision, because he might’ve forgot that Arakita was still wet and quite dirty (some of the black stuff got on his hand, and Toudou silently screamed). “I don’t like you, but unlike you, I have manners. Do you have any questions for me?”
“Why are you in a creep’s bathroom?”
“Maki-chan isn’t a creep.”
“And why are you calling him ‘Maki-chan’?” Makishima shifted his weight around, but otherwise remained quiet.
“It’s a long story.”
“Longer than the story of how you ended up inside this confined area?”
“Well, no…” Toudou trailed off. “But it’s a part of the larger story.”
“Let’s hear it. I’m all ears.”
“Right now?” Toudou was surprised at how interested Arakita seemed.
“Yeah, right now. I got time.”
“Aren’t you being paid by the hour?” Makishima noted.
“Yes, so please make this story last awhile.”
“That is morally objectionable,” Toudou huffed and gave Arakita his best “I’m disappointed in you, son” look.
“Fine,” Arakita sighed. “Then just answer my first question: Why are you in some dude’s bathroom?”
“Oh, that’s simple.” Toudou sunk a little into the water and lifted his tail out of the water. The tail, upon closer inspection, had a clear and ghastly gash near the center. It looked like it hurt. “I had a chunk of my tail ripped off-” Makishima winced, “-and I’m currently regrouping-”
“Recuperating.”
“-recuperating at Maki-chan’s.” Toudou laughed a little. “Don’t worry though, merpeople tails grow back. It just takes a few weeks. I’d say, it probably won’t even take that long, since I’m not swimming: No stress on my tail to hinder the healing process!”
“How did that happen?”
“That’s the ‘long story’ part,” the merman answered.
“I got ten minutes to kill.”
“It’s gonna take longer than that. Probably.”
“There are a lot of details?”
“Yeah.”
“Then just summarize it.”
“Why do you seem so interested in our story?”
“Because I want to know.”
Toudou narrowed his eyes. A cheeky grin spread across his face. “Not gonna tell.”
“Why not? ”
“Because you haven’t apologized yet.”
“For what?”
“For calling my headband lame.”
There was an audible grunt in the bathroom. “You’re so fussy.”
Toudou raised an eyebrow. He was not impressed.
“And you haven’t apologized either.”
“For what?” Did Toudou accidentally offend the obnoxious man?
“For drenching me in bathwater that you spent god knows how long in. I won’t be able to change until I get back to the garage.”
“Oh.” That completely slipped Toudou’s mind. “That wasn’t my fault: I was aiming at Maki-chan. You just happened to be standing between you and my fortunate target.”
It was Arakita’s turn to raise an eyebrow.
“But for the sake of mannerism, I apologize.” The merman did his best to suppress his urges to throw some sass in.
“And I’m sorry for calling your headband lame.” Whether he was genuine or just spat out something on-command after years in customer service, Toudou did not know.
“Apology accepted.” Might as well give the guy a second chance. “Now, where to begi-” Before, Toudou could even utter a full sentence, Arakita’s wet butt started buzzing. For a second, the merman was concerned for this man before he remembered about phones and the vibrate setting Makishima had taken the time to explain to him.
Arakita took out the device, glanced at the screen, and grunted. After pressing a button and placing the phone to his ear, he answered, “Hey boss.” There was a pause. “No.” Another pause. “No.” Arakita covered the lower end of his phone and turned his attention to Toudou and Makishima. “Excuse me for a second.”
After the man left the bathroom (and left a dirty trail into the hall), Toudou was not happy. “The nerves of that man! Just as I was about to explain our beautiful history together.”
“Tough luck, buddy,” Makishima chuckled.
“Why is he here anyway? I thought you said you don’t have visitors.”
“I don’t.” Makishima scratched his head. “I called him to fix my gear shift--you know, that stick thing? It somehow devolved into him diagnosing a thousand and one problems with my car.”
“Hmph!” Toudou crossed his arms again. “I still don’t like him.”
“He isn’t that bad.”
And speaking of the devil, Arakita came rushing back in. “Boss called, I gotta get my ass back to the garage. Makishima, your battery is fine. I’ll place it back into your car before I leave. I have the list of problems your car has, so just come down to the garage and arrange for a time to tow it to get it fixed, or go to some cranky car dealership to sell it. Bill for today is a grand total of zero, since nothing got done. Meanwhile, don’t drive it unless you wanna die.”
“Of course I won’t. Do I look stupid?”
“Yes.” Arakita’s immediate reply made Toudou snort-chuckle. “See ya.”
“Wait,” Makishima stopped Arakita before he could go anywhere. “Don’t tell anyone about Toudou, okay? Not even Kinjou.”
“Yeah, yeah, I figured you’d say that. I saw the documentary. I won’t.” With a dismissive wave, Arakita hurried out of the apartment, car battery and charger in his arms.
“You trust him?” Toudou looked at Makishima quizzically. “Not that I care if people find out about me, but he sounded fairly insincere.”
“Arakita’s rather simple.” What a beautiful, backhanded compliment. “If he says he’ll do or won’t do something, you can trust his word.”
The merman looked at his companion. “It’s rare to hear you vouch for someone’s character,” he remarked. “Alright, then.”
Toudou trusted Makishima’s judgement, after all.
8 years ago
Fifteen year old Toudou almost hated humans. There was nothing wrong with them, of course. The teen didn’t mind when the unruly ones threw trash into his home, because he could grab it and hurl it right back. He didn’t care when one of their boats stopped directly over his home and threw down one of their death sentences, because all he had to do was pretend to be a shark circling them with a homemade, fake fin (their screams are quite entertaining). To be frank, nothing they did truly bothered him. What did, however, was something as annoying as the endless screeching of a dozen seagulls in the morning: Their goddamn complicated language.
Why were there a hundred and one ways of addressing different people? Were humans insane creatures who have obsessions over mannerism? Why were there so many different sets of alphabets? Why did one word have so many different synonyms that seem as though they mean completely different things? Toudou understood none of it, and wanted to bash his head into the nearest rock (he would glare at his sister who challenged him to actually do it).
A better question would be, “Why was Toudou learning the human language?” The answer was simple: He wanted to communicate with them, to find out more about the world he could never venture into. This dying curiosity would originate from a certain fateful meeting a couple years back. Of course, his parents weren’t exactly happy with his choice. They had the complete right and reason to, since they knew the dangers of men. But teenage Toudou didn’t listen, whether it was because he was naive enough to believe everything would be fine or because he was vain enough to believe he could handle everything alone. Needless to say, he had to scour the entire ocean (or just within a twenty mile radius of his home) until he found someone who could help him.
The help wasn’t that great either. The one who Toudou found was an old, skinny little bastard with too many sticks shoved up his ass, who can always find something negative to say about anything and everything. The youth only tolerated the guy’s existence because, well, the geezer was his only available option. So, for now, Toudou would need to have faith in the seemingly gibberish rules and pronunciation the old fart barfed out, and hope for the best.
“Hey, how was torture,” his sister greeted when Toudou returned from the old man’s place.
“Good, I think I pulled my tongue.”
“Great, that means your endless yapping has been subdued.”
Toudou only glared at her.
“Ouch, no come back? Where did all the sass go?”
“Down a shark’s gullet,” Toudou growled. “A grumpy one at that.”
“He’s that bad?”
“Yes! And he made fun of my headband too!” Toudou readjusted his headband.
“Well I think your headband is very lovely. It makes your eyes pop.”
“Thank you for understanding the aesthetics of these accessories.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“I wish more people understood how fashionable these are.” Toudou was almost expecting an insult about his headbands the minute he met someone new. It would still come as a surprise every time though.
“Too bad we merpeople don’t get a lot of options. At least I know flowy ribbons fit me more.”
“Please, ribbons fit anyone.”
“True.”
Toudou pondered for a little bit. “Actually, I take that back. Ribbons look ridiculous on that old geezer. I shudder at the thought.”
“Your overactive imagination fascinates me.”
“Thank you. I try.”
“Please don’t imagine him in a frilly outfit.”
“Then why are you mentioning it?” Toudou swore he saw a smug grin momentarily flash across his sister’s face.
“My sweet summer child, it’s fun to see you squirm with discomfort.”
“Ugh, stop referring to me as some ‘sweet summer child’. It’s scary.” It sounded like he was about to get skinned or something.
“That’s the point.”
Toudou let out an exasperated sigh.
“Well, good talk. You actually came back right as I was about to leave. See you at dinner!”
And that was the end of the conversation. Toudou waved as he watched his sister swim away, in the direction of their nearest neighbor. He guessed that she was heading over to have fun with her friend there, but the teen did not pry (it would only end in tears). But now that he was left alone, with an empty home, there really wasn’t a reason to remain. If he wanted to rot his brains, he could stare at the inner walls of this comfortable cavern or count the number of pebbles that littered the floor. For the benefit of his mental wellbeing, taking a small swim around would be nice. Or an adventure to the surface. What could possibly go wrong?
Maybe nothing, maybe everything: This was a very subjective matter, but in Toudou’s mind, things went poorly. First, the second the teen peaked above the surface, a seagull decided it was the perfect time to throw the world’s unfunniest and most disgusting bombshell on him. Second, in a fit of sheer panic, managed to inhumanly tangle his hair into an amazing mess while trying to wash the splatter off. Finally, he managed to bonk his head on a wooden pier that he didn’t realize he got too close to while he was preoccupied with his situation.
“Ow! Stupid seagull! I swear I will-” Toudou abruptly stopped mid-sentence when he looked up to see a young, skinny kid looking directly at him. Well this was awkward. He hanged onto the side of the pier, with his tail now drifting underneath the wooden structure, and waved at the stranger. “Hi!”
“Hello,” came a grumbly response. Toudou instantly brightened, because he understood what the human said! This was a common greeting among the landfolks, usually used to start a conversation or attract attention. This person wanted to talk to Toudou! Learning a new language: Success!
“... You... a-are fine?” Toudou asked. It took him a little bit to get the words out.
The stranger remained silent with a confused expression. “Uh… sure? Are you a foreigner?”
Toudou understood absolutely none of that, apart from the individual words “sure”, “you”, and “are”. The person was asking a question, for sure. The teen only blinked.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
There was a pause, as Toudou didn’t know what to respond with. The kid sounded disappointed.
“There’s no point in talking to you. Bye.” And he walked away.
Toudou understood the word “bye”, at least. It was a word used to close a conversation, and the youth only felt disappointed that his first attempt at using the human language ended in just a couple sentences, and a tad bit embarrassed that he didn’t do better like he had thought he would. The merman only watched as the stranger, whose voice only right now struck him as somewhat familiar, grabbed an odd contraption that was leaning against the nearest light pole. The thing had two wheels, a chain connecting the main frame to the hind wheels, a handle, and a really high seat. With a position that high, Toudou thought that only a masochist would like to sit there, hunched over: It would do a number on anyone’s back.
But Toudou only watched as the human child got onto the contraption, and traveled away. He felt a tinge of amazement as he saw the land-dweller accelerate to truly high speeds with just a push of the crank thing at his feet.
And for a moment, Toudou was in awe.