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Irenic

Summary:

Some days just aren't quite as peaceful as others, and a burst of emotion can happen. For the ffxivwrite challenge day 28, irenic.

Notes:

Irenic means tending to promote peace or reconciliation; peaceful or conciliatory.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Alphinaud liked to think he was an irenic person. After all, he aimed to save Eorzea from constant war, and he was a budding diplomat, although he said it himself. Everyone wanted peace, but not all could say they truly worked for it. Of course, he could not always know that his actions would lead to peace. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and he knew that. But he couldn’t let that stop him from trying to bring peace.

There were days, however, that he wasn’t feeling very peaceful at all. Today was one such day, as his sister was having a go at him. What he’d done this time, he didn’t know, but he was irritated as it was, and her comments weren’t helping.

“Enough!” he snapped. “Alisaie, let it go! I have learned my lesson—indeed, all the lessons you continue to point out to me—and I am through listening to you carry on like this!”

His sister blinked. She was confused. Confused! How could she look at him like she had no idea how hurtful she was being? “Alphinaud, what—”

He shook his head and began gathering up his writing materials. “No, Alisaie. You have been awful the last—I don’t know how long! I am tired of you treating me like a stupid idiot. I know I can’t swim that well, and that I wasted the Scions’ money. I know that I ‘state the obvious’ and that I talk too much. I know that! But you don’t have to be mean about it!” Alphinaud stormed off, not quite stomping his feet.

He hadn’t even mentioned how his comment a while ago in Il Mheg had been about himself, until she took it personally and he apologized for letting her think he had called her a self-important brat when they were children. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. They had fought enough before they came to Eorzea, and he knew that there were things he said and did that still affected her. It seemed he was still making mistakes if that was how she reacted.

But it wasn’t fair that she treated him this way. Just because she was so talented in “street smarts” didn’t mean she had to continue to tease! Couldn’t she see he was trying? Why wasn’t that enough?

“Alphinaud! Alphinaud!” she shouted after him, but it made him pick up the pace instead. “Alphinaud, wait—!”

He couldn’t take it anymore. He broke into a run. All he wanted in that moment was to get away, to be alone and sort out his feelings. Listening to whatever she had to say while he was angry like this would only upset him further, and he didn’t want that. If he did, he knew he would take it out on her and say things to her that he would regret. Again.

So he ran, dodging crystals and wandering beasts until he reached the gate leading to the Crystal Tower and he was compelled to take in his surroundings once more. After a moment’s hesitation, he pushed the gate open and made another sprint down the path until he was forced to stop at the platform past the Eight Sentinels. There, he dropped to the ground and curled around his knees, breathing heavily as he tried squeezing his negative emotions away.

Alphinaud didn’t know how long he sat there, evening out his breathing, but eventually he did hear footsteps. He looked up, dreading who it could be, and saw it was G’raha Tia. Ah. Of course. This is the Crystal Tower; he likely senses when someone approaches. The older man sat down next to him without a word, and together they gazed out onto the tower before them—Alphinaud with his arms wrapped around his knees and his chin atop them, G’raha relaxed, leaning back on his hand, the other resting on a knee. 

“Alisaie loves you.” The words broke the silence rather suddenly, as Alphinaud had gotten used to it again.

“I love her too.” It would’ve been difficult to admit it even a year ago, but after all their experiences in Eorzea and Norvrandt, he felt he needed to. She needed to know, and he needed to be brave enough to say it. “She’s my sister, after all.”

“Yes, she is. And while I can’t say I know what it’s like to have sisters who actually like you, nor can I say what your sibling relationship is like, I will say that I think you are blessed to have a sister who cares. Moonflower told me how Alisaie reacted when you were brought home.” At this he looked away, somewhat embarrassed by his failure. “But I saw it for myself, when I reunited you.”

“Wait a minute, your sisters didn’t like you?”

“At this point, they probably still don’t care,” G’raha answered bluntly, “but no, they didn’t like me. They bullied me and were quite cruel. Alisaie’s comments are unkind, and I will not deny that it must hurt you.”

“I’m tired of it.” His voice came out as a mumble between his knees. “Although, perhaps I should not have shouted at her like that.”

“And you can apologize for shouting later. But the words themselves have led her to consider what she has been saying to you, and if that leads you to a better understanding, then I think you will be forgiven. Besides, you cannot always control your emotions, Alphinaud; people just don’t work that way.” G’raha let out a sigh. “I think that the Scions forget that you are still teenagers, sometimes. You both act far more mature and have seen too much to be thought of as children on a regular basis, but every now and then…”

“Wonderful. I shouted at my sister and reminded everyone that I am still a child,” Alphinaud grumbled. Could this day get any worse?

His companion chuckled. “No, you reminded everyone that you are both still children. Moonflower was about ready to let your sister have it, but Alisaie looked close to tears. I am certain they are having a similar discussion to ours.”

If there was anyone who could show Alisaie how her words were hurting him, it was their friend, so Alphinaud let himself feel a bit of hope. He knew it would be too much to expect his sister to stop, but if she at least knew, then it was still possible. “I don’t usually raise my voice at her,” he admitted. “That’s not how we are.” At least not since they were very small.

“No, I thought not.” Then he let the conversation lapse into silence, and once more the two gazed out to the glowing Crystal Tower. The sun dropped closer to sunset, and after a while he spoke. “Are you ready to head back, Alphinaud?”

A deep breath. “Yes.” He got to his feet, followed by G’raha, and the two of them headed back to the Rising Stones. Once there, Alphinaud began slowing his footsteps. Was Alisaie upset? Would it be more fighting? 

She shuffled her feet, accompanied by their friend, and he saw immediately that she was upset. “I’m sorry, Alphinaud!” she said once she met his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that, not at all! I was only teasing, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for shouting, Alisaie,” he said quietly.

His sister wasn’t quite finished. “I thought it was a joke between us, honestly. I didn’t realize it at all. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, Brother.”

“Apology accepted.” He could tell she meant it, too. And if she was truly sorry, how could he stay angry? The hurt would take longer to go away, but at least she knew now. Then, tentatively since they weren’t exactly physically affectionate, he offered his arms for a hug.

Alisaie leapt into them and held him tight.

Notes:

Maybe it's because they're actually together more often in Shadowbringers, but Alisaie and Alphinaud get into a lot of sibling squabbles in that expansion. It's not exactly a good feeling, especially because to me it seems like Alisaie is being mean to her brother. That comment about how she's ~so~ glad Alphinaud is there to explain things in Amh Araeng? Entirely unnecessary. Like, come on, what was that for? Someone was going to say that Thancred ought to name Ryne because he was closest to her.

In Il Mheg, once again, it honestly seemed like Alphinaud was talking about himself. But then Alisaie grabbed him and he apologized to her. I don't know what he says in Japanese. I think in Japanese it makes more sense for her to get mad at him, but in English it sure doesn't. So in this story I thought about why that might be, and I landed on that he must've been mean to her in the past about something and she assumed he meant her.

I just needed to let him express how much this must hurt him for her to keep sniping at him like she did in Shadowbringers and sometimes before that too. I know that they care about each other so much, but even loving siblings fight and have to make up. Even loving siblings hurt one another without realizing that that's what they're doing. Maybe to Alisaie, it's really an inside joke and she only means to tease affectionately than to hurt him. That's what I want to see it as, anyway. Here is where they can actually communicate that.

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