Work Text:
Those little shits.
It all started with a visit to ASC. Park Jimin-- the girl, Jimin Park actually- as many people know, is apart of a duo, the bright, charming, extremely talented, 15& from the entertainment company, JYP. Insert sound effect that Eric Nam usually imitates here.
Well, it seems that the maknae line does their research.
Recently, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and Jeon Jungkook have taken to teasing Min Yoongi. Not exactly teasing, of course, because to tease him is to beg for a weave snatching. It's more like annoying.
How? By singing.
15& just so happens to have a song titled "Sugar". Heard of it? Yoongi has. A lot.
Yoongi can't seem to walk the halls of the dorm without hearing about how they want to sprinkle him on top.
Taehyung once almost sang it at a fan meet and Yoongi swore- with his teeth clenched, his microphone off, and a smile on his face-- that if Taehyung wanted to keep his vocal chords in his body then he wouldn't ever dare to mention anything of their little "game" in front of any fans ever. Yoongi is well aware that fans write fanfiction.
And it only ever seems to be if at least two-thirds of maknae line are together. Yoongi has sat with each of them individually and there have has been no signal of a peep. They provoke each other.
Ever since they found this song, they've been searching for other songs with his stage name in it as well.
One instance, Taehyung sang to him in English, "a spoonful of Suga makes the medicine go down," and as flustered as Yoongi was for the sudden attack in English, he responded, "Nobody gets your western movie references, Tae." Almost immediately after, Namjoon popped up next to him and sang, "Suga! Oh, honey honey[..]" to which Yoongi replied, "Namjoon... You too? And did you just call me a candy girl?"
-
The absolute worst has been since they've discovered Oh My Girl.
Every. Single. One of them.
Park Jimin, the source, stumbled across the cutest song with 'sugar' in it to ever exist. The very first words in the song are "you're my snuggly little teddy bear."
Ever since, Yoongi has wanted to maim and sell parts of their bodies. All of them.
"Yoongi-ah," Jin dared to say, after joining in with them, "they're just messing around because you give them a reaction."
"Yeah, you're not being such a snuggly little teddy bear."
"Jungkook, I swear-"
The dorms are in chaos. It's BTS vs. Yoongi.
"Suga! Suga Suga baby! Ahh~"
Yoongi can only say he was impressed. Hoseok managed to wait to jump out at/bump into him as soon as he got out of the shower that morning. He also managed to sing, from what he can tell, both the main vocal and the back up vocal.
He can't even be mad. Hoseok was doing so well. But of course, he was fully naked with just a towel around his waist and it was the morning.
"Hoseok. If you don't mind. Can you get out of my face?"
Hoseok gave an offended look, hand moving to clutch his pearls and everything but soon had a smile on his face again.
"Aish, hyung," he said while putting his arm around Yoongi's shoulders, "you should really just listen to the song." With that and a wink, he left Yoongi in the hall to ponder.
That was quite suspicious, no? He said something and then winked. It had to mean something, right?
Yoongi entered his shared room with Jin and promptly kicked his hyung out. He's gonna get it later for that one.
Yoongi locked the door and slipped on briefs when his eyes scanned over his laptop and a sense of curiosity washed over him. He promptly ignored it because there's no way he's going to listen to a song that calls him a snuggly little teddy bear. Shaking his head, he made his way over to his shared closet to look for clothes.. And then emerged from his closet with a towel over his head and sat in front of his laptop.
That's it? Yeah, it's a cute song, it's Oh My Girl. And now Yoongi has no idea what Hoseok was trying to get at. He most certainly is not a teddy bear. What the fuck even is this song?
Yoongi ripped his headphones from his ears in frustration and left to actually put some clothes on. All the song did was effectively make him more annoyed.
Jin was outside banging on the door already. Once Yoongi had at least some shorts on, he opened the door for his roommate.
As Jin walked through the entrance, he took Yoongi by the ear and dragged him back to his desk chair, forcing him to sit in it. "What. Is. Your. Problem."
Jin didn't let Yoongi answer and spewed on in his lecture before asking again. "You never answered me. What's your damage? You know what? Don't even answer it." not pausing in between sentences to allow the other to speak. "Well? Are you going to say something?"
"I was.. working."
"You were.. working."
"Yes." Yoongi sat in his desk chair, half naked, trying to defend his nipples from the cold and himself from his angry hyung.
"Shut your lying ass up! Next time you try and kick me out of our room to play on your laptop I'm gonna tie you that chair so you can 'work' for the rest of the day." There might be a chance Jin didn't believe him.
"Yes, hyung..." Call Yoongi convinced though.
Yoongi leaves his room, still half dressed to his dismay, and bitterly makes his way to the living room while going over the song again.
Hoseok raised his eyes from his phone where he sat on the couch. "Jin-hyung was making a ruckus not too long ago. Could that be the reason you're half naked?"
Yoongi plopped onto the couch with a heavy grunt. "Why did you tell me to listen to the song?"
He shrugged. "It's a good song."
"That's it."
"Yep."
"No hidden message."
"No? Why would there be a hidden message in a song from Oh My Girl as if they knew you specifically were gonna listen to it?"
"I have a hard time believing any of you fools don't have an ulterior motive behind the stupid things you do."
An offended squawk escaped from his lips. Yoongi hoisted himself from the couch before Hoseok could reply to go beg for entrance back into his room.
Yoongi sat in his studio a week later, napping as of fact, in his chair, not even on the studio couch that was placed there for that exact reason.
He startled from his sleep and his hands jumped to the keyboard of the screen in front of him. He was suddenly inspired but as soon as he looked at his screen, all was lost. Having had enough, he closed his laptop and left his studio. He needed to bathe.
On his walk home, he started whistling random rhythms just to have something to do. Some days are meant for walks like this.
He makes it home, always shocked that it takes ten minutes when it feels like less. He toed his shoes off and made way to his room.
"Hyung?" Taehyung stopped him. He seemed to be shocked for some reason.
"What is it, Tae?"
"You were whistling..."
"I do that sometimes."
"But... but you were whistling Oh My Girl."
Yoongi stood rooted to his spot. There was no response. There couldn't be any. There wasn't any. Taehyung's smiled, and then that smile split into a full on grin, one that looked the equivalent to SpongeBob when he found out Squidward liked Krabby Patties. Yes, that's exactly the situation.
"Hyung. The song sure is catchy, isn't it?" He said smugly.
Yoongi still couldn't speak. There was nothing he could've said to better this. There was a storm coming...
"No worries, hyung. There's nothing wrong with liking being a snuggly little teddy bear."
...And Taehyung was just the storm clouds.