Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

unknow:
excuse me
is this kim seokjin from apt 23?

jinnie:
…yes?

unknow:
do you happen to have a dog called moony?

jinnie:
wait what
who is this
what is happening
are you stalking me?

unknow:
NO
like, no, man
it’s going to sound creepy anyway but i think i got your dog?
by mistake?
not my mistake, tho

jinnie:
who gets a stranger's dog BY MISTAKE WHAT'S EVEN GOING ON HERE

unknow:
oh right sorry i should have told you sooner
i'm kim namjoon from apt 21
i got your number on the elevator list? sorry?

jinnie:
oh

unknow:
i was just waiting for my pizza in front of the building
and then this random guy showed up and asked me if i was mr.kim and well guess what... i am?
then he must handed me the leash?

jinnie:
oh

unknow:
in my defense, i did try to warn him i wasn't the right mr.kim but i guess you know what happened
so yeah... this is how i ended up with your... siberian husky?

jinnie:
man i'm so sorry
so sorry
my stupid brother was supposed to wait for moony there
but he never showed up right
i'm gonna kill him
i'm so sorry for... everything

unknow:
chill out man, it's ok
shit happens right
maybe something happened?

jinnie:
no, i'm pretty sure he just got busy with his boyfriend and forgot, that little brat
i'm so fucking sorry
are you at home? is moony being too much?

unknow:
yes, i am, but everything is ok?
i just gave him some water and now he's lying on my couch

jinnie:
that sound's like moony
i'm at work, but i'll ask taehyung to get him asap, i swear

unknow:
it's ok
i'll be home anyway

jinnie:
thank you so much and, again, i'm so sorry

unknow:
stop apologizing, it's fine
this is what neighbors are for, isn't it?

jinnie:
yeah, right

------------------------

jinnie:
tae

taetae:
sup

jinnie:
why does a neighbor i've never seen in my life have moony at his place?

taetae:
... oh fuck

jinnie:
go get him NOW
i swear i'm killing you and jungkook as soon as i get home

taetae:
... kookie's not here

jinnie:
oh yeah sure
and right now moony isn't either GO GET HIM

taetae:
ugh whatever

------------------------

joonie:
hey

king min:
hm

joonie:
do you remember my upstairs neighbor?

king min:
which one

joonie:
the one who sings along to super sad songs at 3 in the fucking morning

king min:
ah
sweet voice fucker
what's with him

joonie:
man
he's got the coolest dog

Chapter Text

joonie
he's gone
i feel empty

king min
what
who's gone

joonie
he looked like a small wolf
i wonder if they named him moony bc of that
are they into harry potter

king min
the fuck are you talking about namjoon

joonie
the dog
the sad singer's brother took him away
i feel empty

king min
r u really heartbroken bc of a dog
did u disrupt my sacred sleep bc of a damn dog
i'm gonna kill u
better
i'm waking hobi and minnie up and they're gonna kill u
can't believe you're interrupting our cuddling session bc you're lonely and pathetic

joonie
you're mean
you're the worst best friend ever, hyung
how did you manage to make two people fall for you being this rude

king min
if i told u i'd have to kill u

joonie
wait did i read cuddling session
i'm on my way open the door

king min
KIM NAMJOON DON'T YOU DARE
STAY AWAY FROM MY HOUSE

------------------------

taetae
moony's safe and sound
please bring us dinner

jinnie
i thought kookie wasn't there?

taetae
he's not
i'm talking about me and moony

jinnie
yeah sure

------------------------

joonie
hey
jiminnie

jiminnie
yes? ^-^

joonie
don't you have a friend called taehyung
tall and brown haired and too enthusiastic
shy bunny boy always glued to his side?

jiminnie
sounds like taetae
why, hyung?

joonie
do you know his brother?

jiminnie
Jin-hyung?

joonie
yeah

jiminnie
he's the nicest person ever
owns a coffee shop
bakes the best brownies in the history of the world
but again, why?

joonie
nothing, really
just trying to understand some shit

jiminnie
ok, then
btw
yoongi-hyung is asking u to hurry up, if u are coming over
he says his back is getting cold

joonie
oh, fuck

------------------------

jinnie
hey, mr. kim
i know it's too late, sorry about that
but i left a box by your door to try to make up for the whole incident
hope you like cookies :)

Chapter Text

joonie
he's doing it again

king min
it's 3 in the fucking morning joon

joonie
don't pretend u were asleep
i just saw u sharing a cat video on facebook

king min
did not
but anyway, i'm guessing our lil glee club enthusiastic is doing his thing again
what is it this time

joonie
million reasons

king min
the gaga song?

joonie
yup

king min
man
that's harsh
is he good at it

joonie
didn't miss a note so far
but there's more
he left me a box of cookies

king min
oh
he's also a baker right
well that's ironic
what did u do with them

joonie
nothing
i've just been staring at the box for the past hour
you know that i can't eat them

king min
yup
bad time to be gluten intolerant
but fear nothing
hobi and i are going to rescue u
jiminnie kicked us out anyway cuz he has some test tomorrow morning idk

joonie
i'd feel offended but i guess i could use some company
before all the singing makes me insane

------------------------

namjoon
the cookies were amazing
you didn't have to, but thank u
how's moony?
you can call me namjoon, btw

jinnie
glad you liked them
he's doing fine
spending the night at my brother's apartment
and you can call me jin, everybody does, anyway

namjoon
oh
i thought your brother lived with you?

jinnie
he used to, but he moved away with his boyfriend a few months ago
but tae misses moony, so every now and then they have this dog sleepover thing at their flat

namjoon
sounds fun, i guess
moony's a nice dog, i can see why he misses him

jinnie
yeah, he's great. keeps me company now that's just the both of us
i've had him since he was a puppy

namjoon
oh
would you mind if i asked how come you got a siberian husky?
i mean, they're such big dogs to have in these apartments

jinnie
no, no problem
it was actually a gift from my parents
i own a coffee shop as few blocks away from here
they brought him in on the opening day
i've always wanted a dog, and they thought it was a nice time to have one since tae could help me take care of him
but i guess they didn't realize how much he'd grow

namjoon
oh i see

jinnie
but moony's just so nice his size doesn't matter that much

namjoon
yeah right
you're lucky

jinnie
guess i really am

------------------------

jinnie
uh, good morning, namjoon
sorry for the early texting
but i made a few muffins for tae yesterday and since you liked the cookies, i thought you'd enjoy them
left the plate by your door
(i guess i still feel guilty about the whole dog thing)
have a nice day :)

------------------------

joonie
well i'm fucked

king min
tell me some real news

joonie
shut up
i hope hobi likes muffins too

Chapter Text

namjoon
the muffins were great
you're a great baker, hyung
but really, it wasn't a big deal
forget about it, we're good

jinnie
i just wish tae was more careful instead of bothering my neighbors with his responsibilities
and maybe that i had more time to take better care of moony
btw
guess who's back

namjoon
oh god
he's like the cutest?

jinnie
right?
he can sleep literally anywhere, that sweet giant
it's nice to have him back
watching bad tv was getting lonely

namjoon
oh
so that's what you do when you're not being the greatest baker ever or taking cute pics of your dog

jinnie
pretty much
what about you, tho?
i guess i never asked what you do

namjoon
i design games
i have a small office with two of my best friends and we work mostly with apps
we do absolutely everything, every little detail
and maybe someday we'll be able to work on some sort of series for real consoles or something

jinnie
omg that's so cool!
i wanna try them, how can i do it?

namjoon
just search for 'the bulletproof studio' and you'll find it
i hope you have fun with any of them

jinnie
do you have any personal favorites?

namjoon
you should try the Wings series, we put a lot of work there and it came up nicely
the first one's called Begin
cause we're that lame

jinnie
i'm sure it's great
i'll keep you aware of my progress

namjoon
please do it
and remember to avoid the clouds

jinnie
uhhhh
exclusive tips
don't spoil me like that

namjoon
you're the one feeding me, hyung
if i knew you'd do that i'd have dognapped u sooner

jinnie
... dognapped?

namjoon
yup
it's like kidnap
but with a dog

jinnie
oh god

namjoon
yeah right sorry
i'm hopeless

jinnie
i guess you are, kim namjoon

------------------------

joonie
i'm a liar

king min
well
you aint a truther

joonie
shut up
i'm feeling guilty
what if he finds out

king min
that you're gluten intolerant?
he'll probably stop dropping delicious stuff by your door
what's wrong with it

joonie
...

king min
oh
you don't want him to stop
i see

joonie
he was singing 2NE1's Goodbye yesterday
and it was fucking beautiful

king min
damn, joonie

joonie
yeah
damn

Chapter Text

[the bulletproof studio chat]

joonie
hey
hoseok

hobi!!!
yo

joonie
can u make us some coffee
i'm coming in with brownies

hobi!!!
ohhhhhhhhh
sure thing

king min
uh
it looks like mr. warbler from baker street attacked again

joonie
indeed
i feel like shit
it just appeared by my door with a note without name, just a winky face
but who else would have left the best-looking brownies ever there

king min
that man's truly on a mission
what's your move now

joonie
... move?

king min
yeah

joonie
well

hobi!!!
who are you trying to fool, babe
it's joonie
he's got zero moves
i'm surprised he was able to text him first at all

joonie
you guys are the worst best friends ever

hobi!!!
and u are the worst coworkers ever
i need help with the codes for the spring day level
so please drag your lazy asses back to the office

king min
you weren't complaining about my lazy ass last night
in fact u were pretty satisfied with it

joonie
oh shit

hobi!!!
u r actually right
but if you don't come back with the drafts i need now
i might tell minnie into helping me punishing u tonight

joonie
i'm not really here
i'm not really here

hobi!!!
i'd invite u too, joonie
but i guess you already have a date with your little singing bird

joonie
what
do i

hobi!!!
you always do don't you

king min
u skipped drinks last night cause it was time for his depressing mini showcase through the roof

joonie
shut up
u make me look like a weird stalker

king min
well

hobi!!!
well

joonie
i hate u

hobi!!!
me too
NOW COME BACK TO THE OFFICE OR I'M FIRING BOTH OF YOU

king min
yeah sure

joonie
yeah sure

------------------------

jinnie
what kind of sorcery is this
i'm addicted
i played it all day between breaks at work today
right now i'm stuck on First Love BUT DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING I'M FINDING THAT DAMN PIANO ON MY OWN

namjoon
my mouth is sealed
*whispers* don't forget to talk to the genius

jinnie
SHIT
i knew i forgot to do something
tae and kook are beating the shit out of me
they already unlocked the 'blood, sweat and tears' thing and holy shit, that's amazing
i hate youngsters

namjoon
u know i can always give you those >exclusive tips< right
u just have to ask
i'm just so glad you're enjoying it

jinnie
i'm that kind of honest player that wants to discover everything on its own
but if those two potatoes keep laughing at me u be sure i'll ask for the advantage
seriously, it's so great
the graphics and the soundtracks are the coolest

namjoon
thank u so much
especially bc the soundtrack part is one of my areas
i'm glad to be able to entertain people
to be able to create a getaway
life's crazy and sometimes you just need an escape route

jinnie
you're right, and succeeding

namjoon
mind if i ask u a question?

jinnie
not at all

namjoon
why did u decide to open a coffee shop?

jinnie
oh
i'm helpless that's why
it's kind of a long boring story

namjoon
i have time
i'm pretty sure my coworkers are making out with their boyfriend in our bathroom right now

jinnie
wow
that sucks

namjoon
by the noises, yeah, there's a lot of sucking going on
so i'm able to listen
read, actually, if you want to tell me

jinnie
ok then
believe it or not i'm a lawyer
went to law school, studied a lot, graduated with honors and stuff
i spent all my college years working in this little shop near my dorm
saved a lot of money
didn't have too much to spend on and my parents were kind of overprotective
so no money problems during that time
i graduated and started working in this fancy, important office downtown
and i felt empty
completely empty
got myself thinking about the smell of coffee and the people and the stories and the faces i saw everyday
i missed it so much, i hated the new job so much
everything was cold and distant and... unfair

namjoon
that sounds awful
nothing like you
no that i know u that much but
you know
doesn't sound like u

jinnie
right?
so one day i gave up
packed everything and came back to my parents' and tried to figure out what to do
it was actually tae who came up with the idea
he helped me with the math and the bank and everything else
the day i opened those doors... i felt alive
awake

namjoon
that's so cool

jinnie
i know it's not an important job or anything
but people come and go and they bring hope and dreams and love and sadness and everything is so human
you can see all of that around a cup of coffee
you can actually see life
sorry if it sounds lame

namjoon
not at all
i think you have the greatest job
you're the coolest, hyung
mind if i ask u one more thing?

jinnie
go on

namjoon
are you happy?

jinnie
oh
yes
i guess i am
you?

namjoon
yes
yes, i am

------------------------

joonie
he said he's happy
but if he's happy
why does his heart break every time he sings

king min
sometimes you try to lie to everybody
including yourself

joonie
that's deep, hyung

king min
what can i say
fucking genius
or, u know
he just didn't want to open his heart and spill his guts to his creepy ass neighbor

joonie
go back to being a genius, hyung
suits u better

Chapter Text

namjoon
stopped by your shop today, but you weren't around
and before you think i'm a stalker (bc it sounds pretty stalkerish)
one of my friends is besties with your brother and his bf and he needed to borrow some books or something

jinnie
no bad thoughts on you at all
in fact, i was about to tell u to stop by any day so i could brag about being friends with one of the masterminds behind Wings
pretty sad i missed your visit tho
who's your friend, btw? maybe i know them

namjoon
his name's park jimin
he's a preschool teacher and has some kind of dance project with your brother's bf?

jinnie
yesss! jiminnie!
sweetest kid in town, two loud boyfriends?

namjoon
that's him
and those are actually my best friends
and coworkers

jinnie
the ones making out in your bathroom few days ago?

namjoon
yup

jinnie
oh god
but hey, what a small world, right

namjoon
the smallest

jinnie
i forgot to ask u before but, how long have you been living in this building?

namjoon
nine months, i guess? less than a year for sure
i moved in after living with jimin's boyfriends became too much and the three of them decided to live together

jinnie
i've been around for two years now
that's weird
we live so close yet we needed a whole case of a misplaced dog to get to know each other
not that we exactly know each other but, you know

namjoon
yeah, i got it
but now i'm feeling kinda glad of being mistaken by you that day
and i'm not saying it bc of the treats you keep dropping by my door

jinnie
don't know what you're talking about *cough cough*
(but i hope you like mini donuts)

namjoon
god you're impossible

jinnie
indeed
but seriously, stop by the shop again one of those days
one that i'm actually there
i'm making u one of my famous lattes

namjoon
oh the temptation
i will, i promise

jinnie
i'll be waiting for it :)

------------------------

['jinjin's babies' chat]

jinnie
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE STOPPED BY THE SHOP TODAY

taetae
who

kookie
what

jinnie
namjoon

taetae
oh yeah sure
namjoon-hyung stopped by this afternoon

kookie
jimin-hyung brought him in

jinnie
yeah, now i know
i just wish i could've seen him in person
you shouldn't have shown me that pic of him

kookie
u literally asked for it hyung

jinnie
yeah i know
pls ignore me next time

------------------------

['jiminnie's also bulletproof' group chat]

joonie
he said we're friends
friends
without any warning
just like that

king min
oh there he goes

joonie
how can u feel a connection like that with someone you've never actually seen

hobi!!!
now he's calling it a connection
the fact that they both like video games and crying over amy winehouse songs late at night

king min
don't forget the love they share for cute dogs

joonie
shut up
let me continue
how can i enjoy the online company and the sweet voice of a person whose face i have never even seen

jiminnie
oh is that the problem
i can fix that

hobi!!!
that's gonna be golden

king min
wreck him babe

jiminnie

there you go
the kim brothers in all their glory a few days ago
i guess it was at the fancy screening of some weird ass project tae took part in
i couldn't attend bc SOMEONE had to trip over a damn door and hurt himself

king min
the disrespect this kid is showing me
hobi, i'm scolding him

hobi!!!
the scolding can wait
i think joonie died

jiminnie
namjoon-hyung?

joonie
oh fuck

king min
forget about the scolding thing
jiminnie babe hobi and i are marrying you

joonie
i can't breathe

king min
oh he's falling to pieces
i love my life

hobi!!!
you're not helping, hyung

king min
oh i wasn't trying to

joonie
i hate all of you

jiminnie
we love you too hyung <3

------------------------

jiminnie
taetae

taetae
spill it my child

jiminnie
is your brother single?

taetae
damn it chimchim
don't you have two boyfriends already

jiminnie
shut up
i'm asking for a friend

Chapter Text

joonie
but honestly people
how can someone sound like AND look like an angel is he a devil or something
did i just lose my balance

jiminnie
are you reciting taylor swift

hobi!!!
i don't think so, babe

king min
it's five in the fucking morning i'm killing all of you

hobi!!!
i think we should all go back to sleep

joonie
but

hobi!!!
shhh
just go back to sleep

Chapter Text

[jimin's angels group chat]

jiminnie
ok
so here's the thing
how do u feel about a little parent trapping fun

taetae
that would be nice but my parents are already married and going strong

jiminnie
wait what
no
i'm talkin about jin-hyung and my friend, namjoon-hyung

taetae
oh
video game nerd boy
count me in
tell me more, tell me more

kookie
we can't parent trap jin-hyung
we depend on him to survive
we cannot even feed ourselves without him
plus he's my boss
i don't feel like getting fired AND killed by the same guy

taetae
nah don't worry
if he kills us mom will be really pissed and stop talking to him
and he loves mom way too much to bear it
so we good
what's the plan, chim

jiminnie
well
knowing joonie-hyung like i do he'll take forever to make the first move and actually meet jin-hyung in person
so we're giving a little help and shit
do you think u'll be able to bring him to my wedding next friday

kookie
wait
what
what wedding

taetae
PARK FUCKING JIMIN U SUCKA
WHAT IS HAPPENING
WHY I FEEL LIKE JON SNOW RIGHT NOW
I DON'T LIKE THIS FEELING
I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

jiminnie
it's not a real wedding u know we can't actually have that
it's more like a celebration of our undying love
with lots of alcohol
so just bring jin-hyung in and we'll make some magic happen

taetae
MY CHIM'S GONNA BE A TRU GROWN MAN
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU REBELLIOUS FUCKERS
you don't need no paper from the city hall I'M EMOTIONAL

kookie
i told u it wasn't a good idea letting him be part of that one direction fanclub
it messed with his brains

taetae
SHUT UP U TRAITOR

jiminnie
ok so wait a second
i'll bring my bae's in

-------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

jiminnie
welcome to the 2017 namjin extravaganza!!!!

king min
oh no he didn't

hobi!!!
yes he did

king min
oh shit

jiminnie
HERE COMES THE DISCLAIMER:
we are all aware that since the Great Misplaced Dog Incident of 2017 our two beloved little nerds have been shyly texting

kookie
it was tae's fault

taetae
IT WAS NOT

king min
actually if u didn't forget u damn dog bc u were too busy sucking ur bf - jimin's words - we wouldn't be here
so yeah we good

taetae
i feel praised but offended?

jiminnie
SHUT UP
LET ME MOVE ON

hobi!!!
go get them babe

jiminnie
MOVING ON
jin-hyung and namjoon-hyung have been talking like two school boys afraid of their first crush and annoying the hell out of us, poor little friends, about it
SO I SAY WE HAVE AN INTERVENTION BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
what we know so far:
they are both huge nerds who also love dogs
joonie-hyung is addicted to listening to jin-hyung singing

kookie
what

taetae
let him talk i'll explain it to u later kooks

jiminnie
jin-hyung is trying to catch dat man by the stomach but he's failing bc joonie-hyung can't eat shit
so it's actually yoongi-hyung who's eating everything and pls make it stop he's getting heavy when he lies over me

king min
YOU WEREN'T COMPLAINING ABOUT IT IN BED U POTATO
I'M DIVORCING U

hobi!!!
we are not even married yet chill out

kookie
but wait
what do you mean with 'namjoon can't eat shit'

taetae
nobody eats shit babe that's not nice

king min
joonie's gluten intolerant

taetae
wait what

king min
he's all touchy feely and doesn't want to break jin-hyung's heart or some shit

taetae
dammit
but i guess i have a way to fix it

jiminnie
that's good
ANYWAY SO HERE'S WHAT WE DO
we get married
they come to the party
they get all heart eyes to each other
alcohol makes shit easier
they realize they're a match made in heaven
BOOM
THEY ARE HAPPY EVER AFTER

taetae
sounds good
but
i have to play bad cop here
if namjoon-hyung ends up breaking his heart
i'll have to kill him

kookie
i will have to help

taetae
he was never the same after "he-who-must-not-be-named" broke his heart and i will not let it happen again

hobi!!!
did ur brother date voldemort?

taetae
not literally but somehow yeah

king min
you're all missing the point here
u can't kill joonie
we need him at the office
if he's dead we won't have money enough to be jimin's sugar parents

jiminnie
I'M NOT YOUR SUGAR BABY

hobi!!!
i thought i was the sugar baby?

jiminnie
NOBODY'S A SUGAR BABY

taetae
kookie's my sugar baby

kookie
wait what
am i

taetae
you work at my family's coffee shop
so i basically support u financially anyway

jiminnie
NOBODY'S A SUGAR BABY

king min
you're in denial

hobi!!!
why can't i be the sugar baby

kookie
wait
if we get the hyungs together
who do u think it's going to be the sugar daddy

jiminnie
fuck it
i give up

-------------------------

namjoon
so
jin
i was feeling kinda shitty cause you're always dropping delicious stuff by my door
so i left u a little something
i got some >confidential information< in order to buy it
it's not much, but i hope u like it
(there's something for moony as well)
have a nice day, hyung

Chapter Text

[jinjin's babies group chat]

jinnie
he bought me flowers
not any kind of flowers tho
supermarket flowers
those really stupid little vases
and they are purple and pink and smell kinda weird, kinda nice
they are my favorite ones

taetae
aaaaaaaaaand we lost him
we'd better learn how to cook from now on, jungkookie
hyung's getting married and adopting 5 kids and leaving us behind

kookie
i feel like an orphan already

jinnie
oh shut up

---------------------------------

jinnie
namjoon
they are amazing
how did u know...?
wait no don't tell me
but u didn't have to u know

namjoon
i know
but i felt like doing it anyway
hope i picked the right ones

jinnie
u did
i love them
people find it weird bc the prefer fancy flowers and stuff
but mom always had supermarket flowers in the kitchen and when i left they helped making this new place a little like home
silly i know

namjoon
no it's not
it's perfect
i'm even more glad i did it now

jinnie
moony also says thanks for his treats
i envy him
he ate everything u sent and now he's just

namjoon
god
he's too cute to be true
pet him for me

jinnie
i will
let me ask something tho
if i left u a tray of gluten free brownies, would u try them?
it's for science i swear

namjoon
oh
oh
yeah
sure
can i ask why

jinnie
tae came up with the idea
he said we are losing clients by ignoring their necessities
and i do love a challenge
so i said why not

namjoon
right
why not
right
damn

jinnie
r u ok?

namjoon
yeah fine
just struggling with some ideas for the next level of wings
it's called 'not today' btw

jinnie
whoa
exclusive preview
i feel important

namjoon
right
actually
if u want, of course
u can come by the office and be our beta player
u know
see if it works
and stuff

jinnie
NOW i feel important
i'd love to, joonie

namjoon
yeah
sure
right
i'll let u know when we are ready to give it a run

jinnie
right :)

-----------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

taetae
hello
it's me
your fave babe taetae
and i bring u some high ass information

hobi!!!
don't u mean top class?

kookie
don't ask
just
don't

jiminnie
SHUSH I WANNA KNOW
tell me more, tell me more

taetae
after spending the whole afternoon staring at the flowers namjoon-hyung sent him

kookie
that he's displaying in the shop so everybody can see it

hobi!!!
that was some fucking nice move who had the idea

jiminnie
i guess this time it was actually joonie-hyung?

hobi!!!
damn
we are underestimating our little flirty bird

taetae
ANYWAY
after that jinnie-hyung started working on his first ever gluten free brownies
that are going to be given to a certain game designer dog stealer boy
and it's all happening bc i whispered some magic into his ear
so u know
PRAISE THE LORD

king min
hate to interrupt the praising

hobi!!!
he's lying
he's not sorry

king min
indeed
but i also have high ass information

jiminnie
SPILL IT BABE

kookie
why did it sound dirty

jiminnie
bc u r dirty
now shut up

king min
so
our little namjoonie just invited seokjin-hyung to be our beta player
visiting the office and everything

jiminnie
DAMN

hobi!!!
definitely underestimating dat boy

king min
BUT
i wouldn't be that happy
bc he told me he'd warn him when Not Today was ready to play

hobi!!!
...
we didn't even start not today

king min
see
genius flirter
but also a total fucker

jiminnie
so we are back at level 0

hobi!!!
actually
i think i might have a plan

----------------------------------

namjoon
hey
i can't sleep
tell me a secret

jinnie
i cry during thunderstorms
your turn

namjoon
sometimes i feel unlovable

jinnie
you are not
i swear you are not

namjoon
i hope you are right

Chapter Text

joonie
u know that thing i do when i'm fucking tired but can't sleep

king min
yup
u overshare
this is how i found out about ur allergies
and the truth about my mom's favorite vase
still can't believe u broke it and blamed my fucking dog
holly deserves better

joonie
whatever
i did it again

king min
wait lemme guess
u said some really deep emotional shit to our favorite songbird

joonie
something like that

king min
do i wanna know

joonie
no u don't
what do i do

king min
ignore it? pretend it never happened?
this is your specialty

joonie
why r u my best friend again

king min
cause u were a loser in high school and i have a fucking good heart

joonie
you r despicable

king min
well call me Gru
but seriously
just talk to him

joonie
yeah

----------------------------------

jinnie
i don't wanna bother u
but i have an emergency
and i really really really need a favor
i wouldn't ask if i had the option i'm so sorry

namjoon
sure
what's the matter

jinnie
i'm not in town right now
franchise conference
but the pet shop is bringing moony back and tae had some unexpected shit going on and won't be able to get him
could u please watch him for like, one hour?
tae will get him asap, i swear

namjoon
sure, don't worry
when will they bring him?

jinnie
ten min, i guess

namjoon
i'll be there

jinnie
thank u so much joonie
you're a life saver

namjoon
hey
anytime

-------------------------------------

namjoon
dog: checked 

jinnie
and as lazy as ever
again thank u so much joonie i'm so sorry

namjoon
i told u
don't mind
i've got your back

jinnie
thank you ♡

namjoon
;)

------------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

jiminnie
TAEHYUNG
WHAT DID U DO

taetae
... nothing

kookie
he's been hidding under our kitchen table for the past hour

jiminnie
WHY

taetae
BECAUSE I'M A STUPID SANDWICH
AND JUNGKOOK YOU'RE THE WORST BOYFRIEND EVER

king min
what the fresh hell is going on here

jiminnie
TAEHYUNG HAPPENED

hobi!!!
still not following

jiminnie
HE TRIED TO ACT BY HIMSELF
AND FAILED

taetae
YOUR WEDDING IS TOO FAR AWAY AND THE WAITING IS KILLING ME
I WAS JUST TRYING TO HUSH THINGS A BIT

jiminnie
THIS IS WHY WE HAVE HOBI'S PLAN
YOU CAN'T DO SHIT ON YOUR OWN

taetae
WHY NOT

jiminnie
BC WHEN NAMJIN HAPPENS WE NEED EVIDENCE
CAUSE JIN AND NAMJOON ARE FUCKERS AND WON'T TELL US SHIT

taetae
oh
ok u have a point
sorry
it didn't work anyway tho

king min
someone care to explain

kookie
tae tried to make them meet using moony again
but he didn't realize jin-hyung is out of town till tomorrow and we can't let namjoon-hyung with moony all night long
jin hyung would kill us

hobi!!!
oh
it wasn't the brightest plan

taetae
AT LEAST I TRIED

kookie
yes u did babe

king min
but what's hobi's plan again

hobi!!!
ohhhhhhh
wait and see ;)

----------------------------------

namjoon
and he's gone
tae and jungkook were really nice this time
and damn, the brownies they brought
they are fucking amazing

jinnie
the least i could do
thank u again!!!!
i'll make u some more when i'm back

namjoon
you're spoiling me

jinnie
yes i am

---------------------------------

[jiminnie's also bulletproof group chat]

joonie
so
the brownies
the brownies he made
i tried them

king min
and...?

joonie
dude i'm fucked
i'll never be the same again


jiminnie
why so, hyung

joonie
bc i'm in love with a guy i've never actually seen
that's why

Chapter Text

hobi!!!
so
my plan might have failed

king min
it definitely did

jiminnie
what
how so
what happened

taetae
the plan was already in course?
Why nobody told me?
AND THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SCOLD ME WHEN I DO MY THING PARK JIMIN

hobi!!!
I thought jungkook told u?
Cause he was my partner in crime and shit

taetae
WHAT
JEON JUNGKOOK YOU COCONUT HEAD COME HERE RIGHT NOW

kookie
IT WAS A LAST MINUTE THING I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU

jiminnie
I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING DRAMA YOU TWO IDIOTS
TELL ME  WHAT HAPPENED HOSEOK

hobi!!!
so
my idea was brilliant, but joonie's a fucker
i called the coffee shop earlier and got a huge order
like fucking huge
and asked them to deliver here at the office
kookie was an angel and faked an injury, so jin-hyung had to bring everything by himself since tae was at school

jiminnie
omg that sounds great???
what went wrong

king min
joonie's a fucker, he already told u that, babe

hobi!!!
so, yoongi and I are all chilling hanging with jin-hyung and waiting for that damn potato to show up
jin-hyung was truly excited to be there no joke
and then kim fucking namjoon calls in sick

king min
CAUSE HE'S FUCKING WEAK

hobi!!!
apparently the flu caught him or some shit
so he's at his apartment right now being a weakass and probably high on tylenol idk

jiminnie
damn it, it was so close

king min
so, the bad news are that shit didn't work
the good news are that we have a fucking ton of brownies

hobi!!!
and we'll be reheating coffee for at least a week but damn boy was it worth it

jiminnie
did u tell jin-hyung joonie-hyung was sick?

hobi!!!
nope
didn't want to make him worried
plus he'd want to go there check on him and joonie would have killed us all bc damn that's a bad way to start a fling

taetae
so... back at level 0

hobi!!!
guess we are

king min
i just hope joonie doesn't make any stupid move while he's sick
u know how he gets

jiminnie
oh, fuck

-----------------------------------

jinnie
been at your office today, but you weren't there
such a shame
anyway, your roommates got some really weird craving for coffee dammit

namjoon
they stupid
they so fckn stupid

jinnie
hey, r u ok?

namjoon
sre
pfct

jinnie
if u say so...

------------------------------------

jinnie
can't sleep
tell me a secret

namjoon
i can hear u singing @ night
and it's so fckg sad

jinnie
oh

Chapter Text

joonie
i fucked up
big time
never have i ever fucked up this hard
i'm the fuckest fucker to ever exist

king min
shit
what have u done

joonie
i was kinda groggy and sleepy bc shit the flu brought me down
so i took my medicine and lied down and waited for my eventual death
and then i had the most stupid idea ever

king min
don't tell me you got your phone
please don't tell me you got your phone

joonie
i got my phone

king min
fuck
jimin's gonna kill me

joonie
i got my phone and he was talking to me and he asked me for a secret and i
i told him
i told him i can hear when he sings
but i said it in a bad way??
i said it was fucking sad
and he stopped replying me
I FUCKED UP
wait is jimin killing u

king min
dammit joonie
dammit
how could u
man
not even i could pull up with this shit
jimin told me last night something like 'u shoul check on joonie cause if he's left alone and sick for so long he'll probably fuck up'
and i said 'nah, he's probably sleeping'
and now i'm gonna die
i'm sure hobi will help jimminie
fuck

joonie
we could still run away
to madagascar or some place like that
a place where they'd never find us

king min
i'd kill u on the first day

joonie
shit
what do i do

king min
u better fix this shit
before it's too late

-----------------------------------
[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

jiminnie
HE FUCKED UP
I TOLD YOU HE'D FUCK UP
MIN YOONGI WHY DON'T U LISTEN TO ME

king min
I ALREADY TOLD U IN PRIVATE THAT I'M FUCKING SORRY
I DIDN'T THINK JOON WOULD BE THAT STUPID

taetae
I'M KILLING HIM
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE DID BUT I'M KILLING HIM
HYUNG LOOKS LIKE A GHOST
HE'S NOT LIVING HE'S JUST EXISTING AND HIS FACE'S BLANK

kookie
tae is exaggerating
he just looks like someone who's thinking too hard
i can hear him thinking from here
anyway what happened

king min
joon was out of his mind and told him he can hear him singing
and he told him it's sad
and i don't think ur brother understood it in the right way
bc i'm sure joon meant 'u sing it's sad i'm whipped let me make u sing happy songs again' but ended up with something like 'u r pathetic'

hobi!!!
i was starting to have faith in our little joon
but guess u can't trust no bitch

jiminnie
it's not that bad, is it?

taetae
TELL HIM TO FIX IT
FIX IT NOW
OR I'M GETTING MOONY TO EAT HIS EYES OUT

kookie
what tae means is: jin-hyung is not being himself and we're worried. please ask namjoon-hyung to fix it.

taetae
I MEANT EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT

kookie
sorry, guys
i'm taking him for a glass of water

-------------------------------------

namjoon
hey
i'm so sorry
i was sick and i'm sensitive and analgesics make me lose my mind
i'm so so so sorry
everything came out the wrong way
what i wish i had said is "i can hear you singing. it makes me sad, because you sound sad. i can't stop, because even though is sad, it's the most beautiful thing i have ever listened to. your voice is beautiful. but i wish i could make you sing no more sad songs. just really, really happy ones"
i'm so sorry

-------------------------------------

joonie
hobi
i need help with a thing
can you meet me at the office in 5?

hobi!!!
sure thing

Chapter Text

jinnie
no, it's... fine, i guess
i just...
i guess i wasn't expecting that
sure, i knew i wasn't being exactly quiet, but i didn't think u could hear it
for how... long?

namjoon
something like 5 months?
i'm so sorry, jin

jinnie
it's just weird
that you kinda 'knew' me way before we got to actually 'knew' each other

namjoon
i should have told you
i just didn't know how
and i didn't want to fuck it up
i feel like shit
utter shit

jinnie
it's ok, i guess
i may need some time to get used to this information
i feel stupid

namjoon
you're anything but stupid
if anyone's stupid here it's me
it was something personal i shouldn't be hearing it

jinnie
it's not like u had a choice anyway

namjoon
i could have put headphones on or something

jinnie
but it is your home
you shouldn't have to change your lifestyle cause your neighbor is a fucking loser

namjoon
kim seokjin
jin-hyung
jinnie
you are anything but a loser
god i fucked up so hard i'm so sorry i'm so pathetic

jinnie
i guess we both are
being a little pathetic right now
it's nobody's fault
it's just life
life happens and sometimes there's no one to blame at all
we may be both right, both wrong
it won't change a thing
well
at least u liked what u heard

namjoon
i'd hear that every night
i stayed awake every night

jinnie
god

------------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

king min
joonie hid himself under his desk
i guess they are having 'the talk'

kookie
jin-hyung locked himself in the kitchen and we're out of cookies
i hope they finish this shit before i have to sell myself to the customers

hobi!!!
fuck that was a bad joke, and i live with yoongi-hyung, i hear bad jokes everyday

king min
i'm divorcing u

jiminnie
i bet those two idiots are making a big deal out of everything
if one of them start to bang their heads on the walls, please let us know

hobi!!!
i don't know about the walls but joonie looks like he's a step away of strangling himself with his computer wires

jiminnie
oh shit

--------------------------------------

jinnie
it all started when i broke up with him
i guess i made an habit out of it

namjoon
u don't have to tell me, jin

jinnie
i know, but i want to
i met him in college
i guess it was first love shit
we dated for a long time and i thought he was the one
he was the one i'd fight it all for
my family, my job, people who didn't understand
he wasn't
he wasn't, not even a bit
he was so far from the one

namjoon
jinnie...

jinnie
he slept with half of the city
he went clubbing with the money we were saving
no, the money I was saving for our future
he gave me shit when i gave up practicing law
he never set foot in the shop, not even when i asked him to, not even on the opening day
and i fought for us, but i got tired and honestly, i don't think you can win this kind of fight
so i broke up with him

namjoon
i'm so so so sorry

jinnie
so i started it
a glass of wine, some takeout, and the saddest playlist i could find and after i'd cry myself to sleep
sometimes is more than one glass
sometimes i'm crying before i get to bed

namjoon
i don't... i don't even know what to say

jinnie
u don't need to. the fact u're reading all this shit is already helping
cause i thought, joonie, i thought i'd become empty after him
i thought i'd be unable to fall in love again, to love again, to be happy again
i thought i'd be broken inside forever
but u showed me i'm not
i can love. i want to. i don't want to lose it bc of some asshole came into my life and made it terrible for a while

namjoon
dammit
dammit jin

jinnie
i'm not mad at u
i couldn't be
not when u came into my life rescuing my poor dog and saying the things you said an making those damn videogames and looking like someone to call home with your stupid dimples and your cute glasses

namjoon
oh
i'm guessing i can scream at jimin and tae for that

jinnie
don't tell me you didn't do the same

namjoon
i
did

jinnie
so we're even
and joon, all i want to do is say 'drop everything and get upstairs right now' but... just give me a little time
just a little bit, so i can understand everything that's happening inside of me
it won't be long, i promise

namjoon
i can wait how long you need
i'll be here
i'll be here, whenever you need
whenever you want

jinnie
thank you

-------------------------------------

jinnie
namjoon
that
that was beautiful
your voice
oh god
thank you
thank you so much

Chapter Text

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

taetae
does any1 know why huyng's been playing Fix You the whole fucking day at the shop

kookie
that's no joke i feel like this is the 4523th time it's on

jiminnie
damn
that's the queen of all sad songs
what did joonie-hyung do now
didn't he fix it

kookie
but here goes the funny thing: jin-hyung's not sad?
like, not at all, not like he was before
he's kinda dreamy?
idk how to explain

taetae
he looks dumb

kookie
dreamy

taetae
definitely dumb

king min
namjoon's a fucker and is not telling us a thing
but he does have a weird smile going on
and hobi knows something but he won't tell me shit

hobi!!!
I KNOW NOTHING

king min
how dare u lie like this to 1 of your future husbands

jiminnie
hoseok-hyung
hobi
hoseokie
we'll have a little chat when i get home

hobi!!!
oh fuck

king min
well that's it problem solved
by tomorrow we'll know everything
this is why i'm marrying u got get him bae

hobi!!!
speaking of wedding
did u guys invite jin-hyung?

taetae
well

kookie
well

jiminnie
shit u had ONLY ONE JOB
why do i have to do everything around here
once they get married they'd better make me best man

hobi!!!
he's already marrying them
talk about confidence

jiminnie
wait and see, boo

----------------------------------

jiminnie
JIN-HYUNG!!!!

jinnie
hey there minnie
what's wrong

jiminnie
i may have an emergency
and maybe you can save me

jinnie
well, i'll do my best

jiminnie
so
i'm kind of getting married tomorrow

jinnie
YOU WHAT

jiminnie
chill out
it's not like a >real< wedding
it's just a celebration of our love
and like, a promise, u know
to stay together and happy and etc etc

jinnie
oh that's so nice, minnie
i'm so happy for you and your boyfriends
gosh i don't even know them officialy

jiminnie
well i guess you'll have the chance ^-^
cause u know, i realized i didn't order any cake 
and yoongi-hyung is a whiny little ant
so i thought that MAYBE the best baker in town would help me and, of course, join the festivities, too

jinnie
oh, sure thing
at what time is it going to be? do u have any preferences?

jiminnie
at seven pm 
u still have the address to our apartment, right?
and hobi-hyung likes red velvet, and yoongi-hyung and i pretty much like anything
so that's it

jinnie
i'll be there, for sure
and so will the cake

jiminnie
thanks, hyung!
you're the best!

------------------------------------

namjoon
hey
are you at home?

jinnie
yes
why?

namjoon
i hope you like Keane

Chapter Text

jinnie
did you just make me a playlist 
this is why you needed my email?

namjoon
surprise, i guess?
sorry
i should have asked first

jinnie
oh fuck shit shut up joonie
this is the nicest thing ever
i don't even know what to say?

namjoon
glad you liked it
^-^

jinnie
i love it
how couldn't i
it's called 'no more sad songs' and there's actually a song called 'no more sad songs' there
how cool is that

namjoon
no but really
it's just a silly bunch of songs to cheer you up
i kinda of asked a few friends around to see what they liked to listen to when things were shitty
and well
that's silly
feel free to change it and update and stuff

jinnie
it isn't
it's great
thank you
thank you thank you thank you ♡

namjoon
♡

-------------------------------------------

[jimin's also bulletproof group chat]

joonie
hobi is freaking out
can someone please pick him up before i kick him out of the office

hobi!!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED LET ME BE

joonie
i get you r happy BUT YOU ALREADY FUCKED UP THE DAMN CODE FIVE TIMES
go home
take a bubble bath
be ready for the whole thing

jiminnie
i'm done here at school, so i'm picking u up in 5, babe ^-^
i need help anyway

joonie
minnie, u r an angel
i'm buying u a bigger gift

hobi!!!
TRAITOR

jiminnie
anytime, hyung
speaking of, where's yoongi-hyung?

joonie
i sent him to buy us coffee cause i couldn't deal with two sacks of blissfulness at the same time

hobi!!!
says the guy who makes heart eyes at his cookies

joonie
THEY ARE GLUTEN FREE
HE IS TESTING NEW GLUTEN FREE RECIPES BC HE'S AN ANGEL

hobi!!!
jiminnie, hurry up before i throw up

joonie
FUCKER

---------------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza chat group]

taetae
so
we have good news and bad news

jiminnie
oh shit
good news first

taetae
ur cake is ready

jiminnie
good
what are the bad news

taetae
kookie and i are the ones bringing it to ur place

jiminnie
wait what
JIN-HYUNG WAS SUPPOSED TO DO IT

king min
well
i guess we all know that saying
don't trust the bitch in apartment 23

hobi!!!
what happened?

kookie
last minute customers at the shop
apparently he'll just be late but he's still showing up

jiminnie
i almost gave birth to a rock over here DON'T PLAY THIS SHIT ON ME TAEKOOK
well, good
we can work with late
joonie-hyung is always late, anyway
they may even get here together

hobi!!!
let's hope so
now, could u please get over here fast
i don't know if i trust u to with our cake

taetae
well
you shouldn't anyway

----------------------------------

jinnie
tae
tell the boys i'm very sorry but i won't be able to make it
i'm at the police station
BUT DON'T WORRY, i'm ok
i'll make it up for them later, i promise

taetae
I'M COMING OVER
WAIT FOR ME

jinnie
no, seriously, i'm fine
stay there
have fun
we'll talk tomorrow

taetae
KOOKIE AND TAETAE TO THE RESCUE

jinnie
oh shit
why u never listen to me

------------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

kookie
hey
we're fine
everybody's fine
we're already at home and tae refuses to let go of jin-hyung

hobi!!!
what the fuck happened why did the police take him

kookie
there was some creep in the shop assaulting a lesbian couple
jin-hyung is superman and takes no shit home and kinda broke the asshole's nose when he refused to back off after the girls tried everything
they all ended up in the police station but in the end nobody pressed charges
now jin-hyung is kinda down because he's really against violence and shit but well 

hobi!!!
damn
tell him we're all sorry and to stop by tomorrow for tea or some shit
yoongi-hyung and jiminnie are fucking jammed on the floor but they send their condolences

king min
m not

hobi!!!
YOU SHOULD BE TAKING A SHOWER HOW DID U GET YOUR DAMN PHONE 

king min
m mtfckg spdr man

hobi!!!
lord help me what did i marry into

--------------------------------------

[jimin's also bulletproof group chat]

joonie
good morning
happy first day of married to the three of u
why did i wake up to a drunk text of yoongi-hyung about how your plan failed
tell me this is not what i am thinking it is

hobi!!!
well

jiminnie
well

king min
well

joonie
fuck, guys

Chapter Text

joonie
put me in
now

king min
joonie

joonie
don't bullshit me min yoongi
put me in
now

king min
god you're impossible

---------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

king min
be ready
here comes the storm

king min added joonie to the 2017 namjin extravaganza

kookie
well shit

taetae
we're all dead

jiminnie
hyung would never kill me i'm the cutest

joonie
ok, i'll tell u all this shit just once
so pay attention
i appreciate the fact that you worry about me and jin-hyung
and i also understand that you all have the purest intention
but please
please
back off
don't get involved
we will work things within our own time
don't try to rush shit
i know that you set up so we'd meet yesterday at your wedding
just, don't, you know?
jin and I have our own pace
we know what we're doing

hobi!!!
yeah
plus joonie has a plan

joonie
HOSEOK

taetae
WHAT

kookie
omg

jiminnie
HYUNG

king min
YOU GIANT SACK OF POTATOES I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND SINCE HIGH SCHOOL HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME
AND SEDUCING MY POOR HUSBAND TO WORK AGAINST ME

joonie
I'M NOT SEDUCING YOUR HUSBAND FUCK
this is EXACTLY WHY i don't tell you shit

hobi!!!
but admit, joonie, we might need their help

joonie 
fuck

jiminnie
so
*drinks the tea dramatically*
what's the plan?

----------------------------------

namjoon
heard what happened yesterday
i'm so proud of you but also super worried?

jinnie
it was nothing
i was stupid
i shouldn't have lost control like that, but shit i can't stand this kind of thing
definitely not under my roof
but i'm okay now
guess what

namjoon
what

jinnie
we were having a nice walk around the park
but then someone got tired

and now we're just here doing nothing

namjoon
damn
i don't know if i love or envy this dog

jinnie
why so

namjoon
you know
i'm stuck in this damn office with two idiots and their husband
and moony gets to have nice afternoon walks
with you

jinnie
oh
you could have those too, you know
nice afternoon walks
with me 

namjoon
i'd love that
i'd really, really love that
but now it's my turn to ask for a little time
just a little
a few more days

jinnie
whenever you're ready
you know where to find me

namjoon
i do 
speaking of
i might have left something at your door

jinnie
you're impossible

namjoon
yes, i am

---------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

joonie
we have an emergency
get your asses to the office RIGHT NOW

Chapter Text

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

kookie
if I have to listen to Love by lana del rey once more i'll pbbly die
hyung's been listening to it the whole day
the customers are starting to notice
and there are like a hundred vases of supermarket flowers in this shop what's going on

taetae
blame it on the aesthetic

hobi!!!
blame it on joonie

joonie
i... have no excuse for that
it was impulsive
i saw the flowers
i bought them
sorry

kookie
SHIT I KEEP FORGETING HE'S HERE NOW
sorry hyung
it's ok
it's kinda cool
right

taetae
u r weak
weak kookie

kookie
shut up

king min
i can't believe i have to witness this shit
i was supposed to be spending my honeymoon in a caribbean island
getting a tan and drinking and/or having sex on the beach the whole day
but here i am
why does the universe hate me

hobi!!!
and/or?

king min
definitely 'and'
having sex on the beach while drinking sex on the beach

jiminnie
well
you got married to a teacher
get used to have vacations only when school's also off

king min
this is why i'm telling u u should be our sugar baby

jiminnie
u couldn't afford me anyway

joonie
hate to interrupt this lovely conversation
but i do intend to be this disgusting and in love very soon
so could u please get your asses here and help me 

hobi!!!
look at our little namjoonie blushing over his phone
he's so whipped

jiminnie
i ship it
so much

kookie
god can u imagine when they actually start to date

taetae
i demand moony's custody
no way i'm letting my baby witness this shito

joonie
hate u alll
but please come here
for real
i need help

hobi!!!
hey, kooks, could u bring me a coffee?

kookie
sure thing hyung

--------------------------------------

kookie
i'm on my way
i told huyng i had a college emergency
so pls back me up

taetae
i just told him i needed u to help me buying a new cupboard

kookie
shit tae we don't even have an old cupboard

taetae
i panicked

---------------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

king min
so
we're out of toilet paper

hobi!!!
and

king min
and i need it
could u please be an angel and buy me some
i'll wait

joonie
not now i need hobi to check the codes

king min
oh, don't worry, i have time
all the time in the world
i can just stay in this damn bathroom forever
you'll forget i'm even in here

-------------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

joonie
damn hyung stop screaming 

king min
I NEED THE FUCKING TOILET PAPER STOP WORKING ON YOUR FUCKING LOVEBIRD PROJECT

joonie
I SENT TAEHYUNG TO BUY IT THE MOMENT YOU SAID WE WERE OUT
SO WAIT A BIT MORE YOU IMPATIENT FUCKER

king min
oh thanks joonie you're the nicest

-------------------------------------

[jimin's angels group chat]

kookie
are they always crazy like this while working
this place is a fucking mess

jiminnie
believe me this is the neatest the office's ever been

taetae
but making videogames's so cool we should quit our jobs and work for them

jiminnie
babe they can't afford toilet paper
i don't think they can pay for two more employees

taetae
shit
can't they become rich or something like that?

jiminnie
well
they're trying

--------------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

kookie
guys this feels wrong
what if hyung finds out i'm buying coffee from the competition

hobi!!!
he won't
we'll never tell him

kookie
but what about my conscience

king min
FUCK YOUR CONSCIENCE I NEED MY DAMN COFFEE

jiminnie
he gets a little bit out of his mind without his coffee

king min
I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS COMPUTER FOR EIGHT HOURS TO HELP MY BEST FRIEND GET LAID
I DESERVE SOME COFFEE

joonie
WHY ARE YOU LESSENING MY FEELINGS 

king min
I'M SORRY
I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS COMPUTER FOR EIGHT HOURS TO HELP MY BEST FRIEND GET MARRIED

joonie
wow ok that's to much

king min
FUCK YOU

-------------------------------------

hobi!!!
it's five in the fucking morning and minnie's sleeping on me
can u pick him up
can we go home

king min
sure thing
lemme just save this shit

hobi!!!
thanks ♡

king min
♡

--------------------------------------

jinnie
i think tae and kookie are up to something

namjoon
what
why do u think so

jinnie
first, they look really tired
like they've been up all night or smthg
and tae's been here like 5 times already and they always get all sneaky and full of secrets?
plus kookie is doing the eye thing to me

namjoon
the eye thing?

jinnie
yeah
you know
his eyes get really big like he discovered the meaning of life or some shit

namjoon
oh
ok
the eye thing
i'm sure they're just being weird, hyung

jinnie
no
they're weird on a daily basis
now they're just ridiculous
i'm going to find out what's going on

namjoon
well
good luck
let me know if you figure out
now i have to go real quick

jinnie
u know
u've been acting weird too

------------------------------------

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

joonie
THIS IS A CODE RED
TAEKOOK IS CURRENTLY FUCKING UP
HE'S SUSPICIOUS

Chapter Text

 Hey there, Seokjin!

Once again thank you for subscring to the Bulletproof Studio newsletter.
We'll always make sure to deliver you the hottest news and exclusive previews of our next adventures.
Today we're glad to introduce a new chapter to the Wings Saga.
You can download Awake here.
As a special gift from our hardworking staff, the downloads are all free for a limited time.

So hurry up!
Our best regards

The Bulletproof Studio 

Chapter Text

jinnie
heeeeey
just got the notification from Awake
i thought Not Today was going to be the next game

namjoon
well
let's say we had a case of sudden inspiration
did you download it?

jinnie
is water wet
of course i did
in fact
i'm about to start playing it

namjoon
oh
mind sharing your thoughts while u play it?
we didn't have any beta player besides ourselves this time

jinnie
sure thing
the opening credits are rolling i'm already excited

namjoon
the pressure tho

jinnie
shut up
oh
wait
'special thanks to park jimin kim taehyung jeon jungkook'?

namjoon
yeah
they worked with us as consultants
and coffee buyers and cheerleaders 

jinnie
sounds like i missed out on a hell of a party

namjoon
no
jinnie
it's not like that
just
just start playing, ok?

jinnie
already on it
oh there's a wolf?
or is it a dog
could be both
oh god its name's 'sunny'?

namjoon
it is a wolf, yeah
a small one

jinnie
ok, i gotta find this wolf right
oh
i can't see where he is, just hear the instructions?
is it yoongi's voice?

namjoon
yeah
he lost a bet

jinnie
ok found it
that was too easy i'm scared of what's coming

namjoon
this one might be easier than the previous ones u know
we just want you to... get to the end of it

jinnie
i feel like a trick's coming
i just found the first ingredient for the... magic brownie?
i have to make brownies? gluten free ones?

namjoon
yeah
one of your mentor's gluten intolerant

jinnie
hm
ok
done
i just
just
exchanged the brownies for... flowers
a lot of them

namjoon
righ
move on

jinnie
namjoon
what's going on

namjoon
just keep playing
and keep talking

jinnie
just got to the portal
and delivered the flowers
oh

namjoon
yeah

jinnie
wasn't expecting the sudden karaoke thing

namjoon
sorry

jinnie
'pick just the happy songs'
namjoon

namjoon
yeah

jinnie
just got to the end, i guess
that was definitely easier than i expected

namjoon
did u open the portal?

jinnie
not yet
why

namjoon
just do it

jinnie
namjoon
damn
namjoon

namjoon
yes?

jinnie
open your damn door
i'm coming downstairs

-----------------------------------------

"Hello there, fellow soldier, congratulations on finishing The Wings Saga - Awake.

If you're a regular part of our Army, you might feel a little confused about this episode.

Fear nothing, it's perfectly normal. We apologize for this turn of events and offer you a free game of your choice from our archive.

Everything's gonna come back to the regular path on the next episode of our saga. Be prepared for Not Today!
Thank you for your support!

 

Now, if you, fellow soldier, happen to be named Kim Seokjin:

We hope you have enjoyed the journey through the past fews weeks.

One of the Mentors certainly did, and felt the need to tell this story. 

But, for you, fellow songbird, the game doesn't end here. 

Only Official Mentors are able to follow to the next phase, and feel lucky:

One of the Main Mentors decided to share with you his personal password to open the next portal.

Mentor NJ wants you to know this: "I'm in love with you".

You don't have to repeat these exact same words to go to the next level.

Just press play.

 

Once again, thanks for playing!
The Bulletproof Studio"

Chapter Text

[the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat]

taetae
15 hours have passed
did it work
what are the results

jiminnie
I NEED ANSWERS
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME

king min
no it is killing me BC U R FUCKING KICKIN ME JIMIN
hobi come here stop him

jiminnie
I CAN'T CALM DOWN
I NEED ANSWERS

king min
HOBI COME BACK TO BED AND HELP ME WITH THIS MONSTER
I KNOW U R READING THIS IN THE BATHROOM

hobi!!!
AM NOT

taetae
WHERE'S NAMJOON-HYUNG WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO US

joonie
sorry
i can't hear you over the sound of my boyfriend making me breakfast

jiminnie
WHAT
AHHHHHHHHHH

king min
SMOOTH AS FUCK
SO PROUD OF U MY CHILD

hobi!!!
HOLY SHIT

taetae
FUCK

kookie
TAE PLEASE STOP SCREAMING AT ME

joonie
just wait a sec

joonie added jinnie to the 2017 namjin extravaganza group chat

kookie
HYUNG NO HE'S GONNA KILL US

taetae
I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS
I'M NOT EVEN HERE

jinnie
chill out, boys
it's alright
joonie told me what u did for us
i really appreciate the effort u put into this
so joonie and i'd like to invite u for dinner tomorrow at the shop
on us
to celebrate

hobi!!!
... 'joonie and i'
bitch i'm emotional

taetae
well at least now we won't have to suffer with these two pinning on eo

king min
but we'll probably suffer twice by them being lovesick and shit

joonie
well
sucks for u bro
now
if u excuse us

king min
told u we'd regret this shit later

---------------------------------------

[the bulletproof studio group chat]

hobi!!!
but guys
have u seen the comments on our social media
people r crazy bout the awake ending

king min
bad crazy?

hobi!!!
no
like
craving for answers crazy
should we write a note or smthng?

king min
i'm not sure
joon, what u think

hobi!!!
he's probably sleeping
last time i talked to him he was heading home
god knows what jin-hyung and him were up to yesterday
hey
is minnie with u

king min
he's preparing a class next door
why

hobi!!!
i miss u


king min
r u still at the dance thing
just come home

hobi!!!
it finished just now
i'm coming

king min
we are waiting

-------------------------------------

taetae
now that hyung has a boyfriend we have a big problem

kookie
do we

taetae
yup
joonie-hyung's not like 'that one'
he's nice and sweet and i want it to work
so we can't just crash there to eat three whole meals

kookie
you r right
what r we gonna do

taetae
well
we can start by crashing there for 2 meals only
what do u think

kookie
babe u r a genius

taetae
course i am

-------------------------------------

jinnie
hey
are u awake

joonie
sure am
yoongi woke me up at dawn cause he had an idea
whats up babe

jinnie
so
moony and I are up to our morning walk
and i made some coffee and those muffins i told u
still can't believe u didn't tell me u were gluten intolerant

joonie
i already explained that to u
and i'd love to
i may even have a playlist for that

jinnie
god u r impossible
meet me in 5?

joonie
sure thing
should i bring something?

jinnie
just ur beautiful face
so i can cover it in kisses

joonie
damn it babe

jinnie
;)

----------------------------------------

Hello there, fellow soldiers!

Mentor HS here.

It seems like many of you have questions regarding the final message from our 'Awake' episode.

What I can tell you so far:

Mentor SJ is now part of our Crew.

He did choose to repeat the password Mentor NJ gave him.

They are fucking cheesy and in love and I bet they'll be married in two months cause they sing love songs to each other through the roof at 3 in the damn morning.

We are all very glad that everything worked out in the end.

None of us could stand that fucking pinning anymore.

We wish you all a nice week and hope to see you again for Not Today.

Our best regards

 

The Bulletproof Studio"