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↑ 4312 [serious] So, Proposing. My bf and I have talked about it and agree we’re on the same page.......How do I take the next step? (self.AskReddit)
submitted 3 weeks ago by mochiface
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[-] mochiface 289 points 3 weeks ago
We’re two men in a relationship, by the way, if that helps. So... tradition has never really been a factor between us.
[-] s_s_snake 180 points 3 weeks ago
[snake emoji] Who tops?
[-] mochiface 48 points 3 weeks ago
Please don’t get me started on that. top/bottom has no direct affect on, nor is affected by, supposed “roles” in a relationship.
[-] bam_wut 25 points 3 weeks ago
PREACH
[-] get_ready_for_it 190 points 2 weeks ago
Foolproof way. May take a few months of preparation. Get a Prince Albert piercing. Ideally, let it heal, but whatever gets your engine revving. Swap out the piercing for a ball-captive ring, with your engagement ring linked onto it. Have some sexy times and hint for your partner to get to business. When they unwrap your underwear, everything will speak for itself.
[-] generallyconfused 125 points 2 weeks ago
I thought we were in a serious thread.
[-] mochiface 18 points 2 weeks ago
Well, in defense of the post, I did say that tradition shouldn’t be a factor. This surely fit the bill.
[-] evenmore_confused 11 points 2 weeks ago
I’m not sure whether to be horrified or in amazement of this suggestion.
[-] momo_and_mina 126 points 2 weeks ago
Here’s a joint answer from two women who have spent many hours discussing the way society dictates how a het male must propose to his female companion. [Clears voice] Ahem. There must be an element of total surprise, masked by false pretenses from said female and overly exaggerated efforts from the male. There also must be an element of “romance” (that’s a whole ‘nother Spiral of Doom), e.g., fairy lights, candles, rose petals, an expensive restaurant, hiring a four-piece band to randomly walk by and serenade the couple -- the list is endless and dangerous. Our final line -- fuck all of that. Love does not need to adhere to such “regulations” and if it does, well, that doesn’t sound very much like love? If your companion is more bound to say “no” because you haven’t proposed “correctly,” then there’s a pretty shitty person underneath all the excuses he or she may give. People have desires and wishes related to being asked for their hand in marriage, but the bottom line is that if you two love each other, truly and genuinely, you should just go with what you know about them -- the simple things that would make their eyes sparkle in delight. We’re sure it’ll work out. Love is all about meeting each other halfway. We should know. Been married for two years. And yes, that isn’t a whole long time, but we’ve learned that just being honest and genuine has been the best route since the beginning.
[-] hoseoksun 55 points 2 weeks ago
I’d like to add to this answer. Yas YAS YAS.
Proposing is a huge deal, but the burden of it shouldn’t be a negative thing. Have fun with it! Think of things your s/o would enjoy. A date at a chinchilla cafe? Hell yes. Street food and wiping grease all over each other with messy kisses? Fuck to the yeah. Pop the question in a way that’ll make them remember, doesn’t necessarily have to be a surprise. Heck, it doesn’t even have to be a proper question. Me? I asked my dude while we were lounging at the beach in Okinawa. He was putting up such a fuss about his pale skin so I just lathered him up with sunscreen and said, “You know, I’d marry you whether sunburnt or not.” He gave me a Look, and the rest is history.
[-] i_can_shownu_the_world 23 points 2 weeks ago
Not sure if this is relevant but I kind of dig all the shit society feeds us about proposals. I’d be down for a night of surprises, fairy lights and a romantic restaurant dinner. I know it’s all consumerism but.... if it gets you and your boo geared up, I don’t see why not.
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↑ 1124 How do two dudes decide who will pop the question... Asking for a friend (self.AskReddit)
submitted 2 weeks ago by goldenbun
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[-] ming_ming 417 points 2 weeks ago
This is a great question. I’ve never really thought much into it but considering my close bud is in the same predicament as you, I can share my thoughts for your “friend.”
If someone tends to take the lead in making decisions (where to go on a date, manages finances) then maybe that person would just naturally assume the role? But it’s hard to tell without knowing your “friend.”
What I’ve told my bud is to just go for it. If your “friend” can afford a ring, try to take the initiative? I’m sure his companion will be touched even if they were planning on asking first. If anything, that’ll award some boasting power to lord over about in the future. My bud always gets into little arguments with his bae, “I was born first,” and all that cute crap.
So I guess my conclusion is... There’s no proper way to decide who does what. Just go with it.
[-] markson 291 points 1 week ago
Might not answer your question but my Bucket of Hot Stuff and I were playing Pokemon Go and I had been only catching Dewdongs (on purpose). He didn’t question it, but after awhile started wondering why I’d only stuck to Dewdongs, especially after I passed on a Snorlax one day. Nothing gets past my Markie. Anyway, this was all part of The Plan. We had selected to be in different gyms (conflict of interest, so he claimed) so once I finally got my plan in order, we went up to a Gym and I selected each Dewdong to fight in a specific order (they would all go on to lose to Markie’s dope line-up, which I wanted to happen), and each of their names in succession were “Will,” “You,” “Marry,” Me,” “Mark,” “Tuan?”
Safe to say, I lost the battle, but won the best Prize.
[-] mtuan 24 points 6 days ago
oh my god. babe, you are ridiculous. go away.
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↑ 3190 [Yeah, I was not asking for a friend] I’ve decided to pop the question. Need a 100% success rate. Pls help....... (self.AskReddit)
submitted 1 week ago by goldenbun
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[-] taetae 840 points 1 week ago
Popping the question is exciting!
Just look in the mirror. Try talking to yourself. Rile yourself up. Get yourself hyped. Tell yourself “I’m the shit.” Some self-body worship helps. If you feel sexy, you’ll come off as sexy.
Tell us your plan!!!!!
[-] Travis_Dragonsmage 698 points 1 week ago
I’m with you, dude. Gonna ask my lady to marry me in two weeks when we sleepover at her place.
(Update for those who may recognize me, hello! Mom finally let me renovate her basement a bit, and the kitchenette is in progress. I got that nice farmhouse sink check it out. The gf loves doing the dishes in that sink. The possibility of us moving in here is climbing up the ranks. Which is nice, because Mom loves my girlfriend and they have Wine Wednesdays together. I’m never invited.)
I have the perfect plan -- I can’t spill too much here but she never goes on Reddit, so, here goes: I plan on live streaming another Angry Birds walkthrough, ensuring that she’s watching, of course, and while I’m about to break my highest score, I’ll ask her to marry me via the stream. Who cares if I actually break my score, as long as I win her heart, right?
[-] goldenbun 35 points 1 week ago
Thanks guys. Travis, you the man. Good luck on your proposal! I’ll try to tune in if I can.
Okay, so my plan.
So my guy likes to dance, right? He’s amazing. Fucking amazing, born to be on stage. I’ve waited until his final showcase. Thought long and hard about it... he’s not really a flowers kind of guy. He’s more of a “actions speak louder than words (and gifts)” person, so I coordinated with the stage manager to have me come onstage after the final bow, while the dancers are right about to exit, and kind of whip up the proposal then. Everyone is onboard, too, from his fellow dancers to the stage technicians and I’ve bargained with them to shine the spotlight on us when I drop down on one knee.
Do you guys think this is too much? God, if he says no, I’ll be doomed forever to solitude. I’ll never date again.
[-] sandra 21 points 1 week ago
JHSDJDKHS CHOKING THIS IS SO CUTE
[-] mochiface 19 points 1 week ago
I’m so glad i found this thread! I'm currently in a similar situation of being stuck before taking the next step.
Your idea is super sweet!!! *___*
If you need some encouragement, just do what I do about my bf, and reflect on the time you’ve spent with this person. If i’m assuming correctly, you two are probably in a serious, stable relationship to consider marriage. Just think back throughout the course of your relationship -- where you started, how far you’ve come, the hurdles you’ve crossed. And think about spending the rest of your life with this person. If all those thoughts line up with a brilliant YES, then you’re set. In the end, their love is all the encouragement you should need, right? You can do it!
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↑ 3905 My bf’s been acting weird, secretive... But I trust him and he’s not that type of guy, honestly. When do you suggest sneaking around? *_* (self.AskReddit)
submitted 4 days ago by mochiface
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[-] min_sug 962 points 3 days ago
A change in character could signal a lot of different things, especially if it’s been abrupt. No one knows your boyfriend more than yourself (and maybe, if he’s not dense, himself), so we can only provide some insight or tips to figuring out your conundrum.
I’m not a proponent of sneaking around, like breaking into their phone or laptop, unless you have access already or have significant reason to blackmail them. Like, if they’re being abusive, etc. Honesty is key.
Just ask him. If he truly views your feelings as important, and if you convey your thought process in a respectful way, I’m sure he’ll be wiling to talk about it. Or at least tell you enough to smooth over any worries, if he’s planning some other surprise. Surprises can be fun! Don’t make him feel like he absolutely needs to tell you everything -- that can be smothering and not conducive to any type of relationship. Encourage a healthy back and forth of sharing your thoughts and feelings. Tell him that you treasure honesty but respect his boundaries.
Rooting you on!
[-] joyful 107 points 2 days ago
This answer is Life.
I bet your relationship is amazing.
[-] min_sug 35 points 2 days ago
It’s kind of amazing. Thanks. I’m married to the sun, so... My future is pretty bright.
[-] anonymous 24 points 2 days ago
did u just.... make a pun.... min yoongi....
[-] min_sug 14 points 2 days ago
New reddit, who dis.
[-] boombayah_lisa 341 points 3 days ago
Go with your gut! If you trust him, that’s all that matters.
Get back to us when he surprises you with something sweet ;-)
[-] mochiface 46 points 2 days ago
Thank you sweetie, that helps a ton
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↑ 2341 PROPOSING IT’S TODAY I’M SO NERVOUS WUTDOIDO (self.AskReddit)
submitted 1 day ago by goldenbun
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[-] nota_monster 686 points 12 hours ago
Take a breath. Maybe try a yoga video? Have a drink to soothe the nerves?
And lastly, have faith. Proposals don’t just rely on the person getting down on one knee, it’s a two way agreement. If you know this person loves you, don’t doubt them.
I’m drawing from my own experience.... I married the most handsome man in the world -- I’ve said it many times here on Reddit, as well as Quora and other threads. And I’ll always say it again and again. He’s fucking amazing. Leagues out of my own.
But, for some reason, he chose to love me.
When I decided to pop the question -- [DISCLAIMER PLS READ THE WHOLE THING BEFORE FREAKING OUT] he actually said no. But wait!!! Not because he didn’t want to marry me. He took me aside and explained everything in depth, with that soothing voice he has, eyes full of love. We were young, too young, financially unstable and still getting our insecurities sorted out. I had partially proposed to him because I was tired of so many men flirting with him unabashedly -- he is ridiculously handsome, as I’ve said many times. So my reasons for proposing probably were not the best, and would’ve led to more problems had we proceeded into marriage at that point. He told me (I’ll never forget this) -- “Joonie, I love the shit out of you. And I’ll probably do so until I die. But we are both absolutely not ready for this. If you trust me, let’s continue growing together this until the right time.”
After a mental breakdown on my part and tons of ugly sobbing, I realized that he was right. Looking back, I was not ready at all to sustain a longterm, committed relationship, as infatuated and in love with him as I was. Now, we’ve been married for six years and I know with all my heart that we made the right decision to wait and work out some of those issues together instead of falling back on the legal ties of marriage to pretend that things would work out. Being honest with each other after I proposed led to an even more healthy communication system between us. I was able to be more truthful with the way I felt when men flirt with him, and he became more aware with how I felt, and things are so much better. What if we had taken that step and not waited? Maybe I’d still be struggling with my insecurities ten-fold and there would be deep trust issues.
Of course, not saying that couples cannot work out their issues after tying the knot.
But... going back to the original reason why I posted this -- even if he does say no (WHICH I HIGHLY DOUBT HE WILL) -- there should always a reason, so don’t worry too much. Take every moment and grow from it. I’m sure he’ll try to do the same.
[-] mnsg 30 points 11 hours ago
YOU’RE FROM QUORA, YOUR HUBBY IS FAMOUS
[-] nota_monster 69 points 2 hours ago
Yup! Here’s an updated pic of us. That’s him on the left. He says hello.
[-] say_hoon 520 points 3 hours ago
For me, I try to think of all the situations that could be worse. Pessimistic, you say? Nay, I say, realistic and hopeful.
For example. My parents. They were childhood friends and eventually started dating after my mother dared my dad to ask her out. If that isn’t a pretty odd way start to a relationship, then guess how they got engaged? My dad and her were lounging by the pool and he asked, “Hey do you want to get married?” and she immediately said, “Sure, why not?” My dad paused, then added, “Maybe we shouldn’t...” and my mother, ever the negotiator, said, “Too late.”
The rest is just as uneventful. “Want to have babies?” “Sure.”
But they’re still together and quite happy. Needless to say, there’s not a lot of arguing in our household.
What was the point I was trying to drive? Oh yes, however you decide to do it, I’m sure there are much less successful ways to do it that have still worked. You got this.
[-] mochiface 246 points 1 week ago
I’m so excited for you two!!! I’ve followed some of your previous threads because I can relate so hard, and it’s nice to see that things are working out for you. I think that coming to the final, steadfast conclusion that you’re ready to commit for Life is such a beautiful part in a relationship. When you look back, you’ll (hopefully) smile when you remember how you fell in love and decided that your man was The One.
I sure won’t forget. My baby and I have come a long way. I remember like it was just yesterday that he and I were playing the “who’s gonna ask who out first” game and it was frankly, really tiring. I stress-ate a lot of deli cheese during that time. /shudder/ But thanks to a bunch of silly internet things (shoutout to Quora), I found out he was just as invested as I was.
But anyway, I know he probably won’t get down on one knee for me anytime soon (I had my suspicions but I decided to not linger on it), but that doesn’t make me love him any less. He’s still my big teddy bear, my only dongsaeng who I’ll let throw me over his shoulder and spank me in public. (Wow okay, that wasn’t supposed to be typed out...) But I digress.
Shake off any of your doubts and press onto what you know is true, which is your love.
[-] goldenbun 29 points 1 hour ago
Hyung... I can’t believe this is happening, I thought you detested Reddit oh gods
[-] mochiface 14 points 1 hour ago
JUNGKOOKIE? SERIOUSLY?
[-] goldenbun 34 points 30 minutes ago
Well, fuck again.
[-] mochiface 99 points 15 minutes ago
Oh look at the time, my performance is in 30 minutes. I’ll be waiting!!!!
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↑ 584 BF FOUND OUT MY PROPOSAL PLAN WHY AM I POSTIN GHERE AGAIN (self.AskReddit)
submitted 10 minutes ago by goldenbun
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