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"I do not like this."
"I’m sorry, but this is the best I can do for right now."
"I really cannot express my displeasure enough. There are not enough words or phrases in any language."
"I said I was sorry, Kurou. This is all I could find that was actually compatible with your hard drive!” Dr. Saito insisted, tightening the last screw and then taking a step back to inspect his work.
On the desk’s surface was an electronic tiger toy, roughly 17 inches tall (it had said so on the box), with articulated limbs and the ability to “really walk” (also to be found on the box), and a friendly voice that sounded something like HAL 9000 after an exceedingly large dose of caffeine and pitched up a bit (that was absolutely not on the box, but Dr. Saito thought it should have been). At the toy’s back was a makeshift panel, the metal casing somewhat bulging obviously from the fake fur of the toy’s back. It was kind of essential.
"Can you move?"
The response was motionless silence at first; then one of the tiger’s arms started to twitch. It was a shaky motion to start, but the toy did manage to push itself up, rolling and winding up in a sitting position. “The shoddy condition of this body’s build should have prevented it from leaving the factory.” Kurou complained immediately.
The engineer simply sighed. "It won’t be for long, Kurou. I just need a few days to rebuild—"
Normally, Nathan would not think to be so rude as to burst in through a closed door and interrupt a conversation. Having been the one to have witnessed Kurou’s body partially come apart with the force of an electrical NEXT’s powers, he was pretty sure it would be alright to get information about the android’s well-being as soon as possible. “Oh cutie, are you okay?” Of course, he didn’t exactly see Kurou there, just a…
The little toy tiger spoke with something that was surely meant to be a gesture, though it only managed to come out as flapping fuzzy arms. “I am— Displeased. But my structure can be rebuilt.”
Nathan turned sharply toward Dr. Saito. “You put him in a—”
"Toy, yes." He was already tired of having that discussion. "It’s the only thing I could find that was advanced enough to handle his essential hardware!"
The Hero instantly understood Kurou’s displeasure. “So long as it isn’t for too long, I suppose. Did it hurt?”
Kurou was already going about trying to figure out how to stand up in that essentially archaic-seeming toy’s frame, not content to stay there and be stared at. “In this case the fact that my entire sensory network overloaded and went offline nearly instantaneously was a positive development.”
Nathan felt horrible for him, he really did. But hearing the android’s words through that horrible little voice and still being able to identify the sheer annoyance was… almost funny. So very close to funny. “That still sounds horrible, cutie.”
"I will not disagree." Kurou finally managed to stand; just a few seconds before the slippery desk surface brought him right back to sitting. At least there was no pain to be felt in that body.
Dr. Saito sighed again. "I can call Argente and have him come get you…"
"Or I can drive you home." Nathan offered.
Neither option seemed particularly enjoyable as far as the android was concerned. Not that much could, at that point. “It is the weekend. I am supposed to take Turing to the apartment as well.”
"He probably wouldn’t fit in my car, then." Nathan admitted, tapping his chin. "And it probably wouldn’t be the most comfortable thing for him to run alongside."
"Turing could bring you home though, couldn’t he?"
Kurou took quite a few seconds to answer. “In theory, yes. If you still have what I carried in my pockets then he would have my transit pass card. Though I do not know if this would technically be legal, being a canine-like life form without a leash riding the public transit.”
Dr. Saito made a thoughtful sound, acknowledging the point made. "Well you don’t have to go with public transportation, you know. Turing has a wire, and he can climb and jump…"
"You are suggesting that Turing act as my vehicle in order to return to the apartment." It was astonishing how that little tiger toy with the caffeinated HAL 9000 voice could sound so utterly distasteful.
Kurou’s mood did not improve any when Turing actually entered the room, situating himself so that his front legs were resting on the desk so that he could get a decent look at the android-turned-toy. “TINY KUROU.”
No, the situation was not improving. Not when both humans seemed to require a hand pressed over their mouths. “As much as I do appreciate the company, Turing, I do not appreciate the nickname.”
Turing’s “tail” wagged slightly as he explained, “NOT KUROU KUROU. SO TINY KUROU.”
The android felt the enormous need to sigh. “So long as you acknowledge my protest.”
"YES."
Suddenly Kurou was distracted by a simple but reasonably important thought. “Has Argente been contacted?”
Dr. Saito cleared his throat. "Oh, yes, of course. He’s aware of the situation."
Well in that case, it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. “Might I have a moment to call him with your video phone, Dr. Saito? I would like to speak with him before departing.”
"Of course, of course." The engineer reached for the phone, placing it on the desk. "Well give you some privacy."
Nathan got the hint. “Take care alright, cutie? I’m sure you’ll be back to your old self in no time.”
"I sincerely hope so." Kurou responded. "Thank you. Turing, you may stay. I will likely need your dexterity for dialing."
"YES." Turing was only too eager to help, dialing each number as it was spoken to him while the humans slowly moved out of the room and closed the door.
Even though he’d been told what had happened, what Dr. Saito’s plan entailed, Argente was more than a little shocked to see that he’d been called by a toy. He blinked before seeing Turing, then everything clicked. “Oh, geez, Kurou. Are you okay?”
"I am exceptionally displeased." He responded honestly. "No data was lost and my essential systems are safe. My standard body is currently less than functional, however, and I must wait for Dr. Saito to repair it without any decent knowledge of how long such extensive repair may take. My choices seem to fall between you ‘picking me up’ or Turing escorting me back to the apartment. Admittedly neither option seems more preferred over the other."
Argente could hardly believe who he was talking to.” I’ve never seen you in this bad of a mood, Kurou.” He admitted.
"I am tempted to ask if you could blame me."
"Ouch. But, no. This bites pretty hard."
"That is not comforting." Kurou responded, frustration only growing.
"Sorry." Argente offered sincerely, hardly able to imagine how annoyed the android must be with the whole thing. "Maybe you should just let Turing bring you home."
That had not been the answer he’d expected. “I do not understand why you would suggest such an activity.”
"It’s a nice day. Maybe it’ll help you be less irritated?" It was a thought, anyway.
Not necessarily an appreciated one. “I have a great many doubts about that assumption.”
"Still." Argente insisted, looking to Turing for help.
"YES WALK."
Well. It wasn’t as if there were many other options available to him. “You will behave yourself, Turing?”
"YES. LOOK AFTER TINY KUROU."
Argente pressed both hands over his mouth and held his breath in an effort not to laugh.
Sighing would be something to ask Dr. Saito about after he got his proper body restored. “Yes. We will be on our way shortly, then.”
There was nothing to hold on to Turing with. No fingers, no decent grip; just fake fur-covered “paws” with incredibly weak joints. He had already suffered such humiliations throughout the day that Turing’s offer to carry the toy tiger in his mouth was only met with acquiescence. It was a suitably easy trip until it came time to change stages; construction in the area they were headed for was getting in the way.
"LOWER TINY KUROU WITH WIRE." Turing suggested. "WILL FOLLOW."
While not ideal, that was easy to agree to. At least it had seemed to be a good plan, Kurou being lowered slowly by wire—until he heard someone yelling from the construction site above them. He had just enough time to worry before he heard a distinctive “SORRY!” before being lowered stunningly quickly, having just enough time to land and let go of the wire before it was retracted, Turing seemingly running off.
That was really not what his “bad day” needed to make it worse. Kurou stared upward, visual sensors unable to give him more than the most basic details about the world around him, and waited. Pouting, slightly. Turing was remarkably intelligent; he would find his way and they would be reunited. Still, needing to be transported, rescued…
"Oh wow, a new toy!" That was a child’s voice for certain, a young boy.
The android turned his head to try and make sense of the situation. Though he did feel the need to first protest, “I am not a toy.”
"Wow! You can talk!" The boy exclaimed, leaning down to inspect the toy tiger.
"Yes." Not that he felt like doing much talking in the moment. "As I said, I am not a toy. I am an android trapped in this generally useless form for some time before I can regain the one that I have become accustomed to."
The boy blinked, tilted his head, then asked very seriously, “Are you from space?”
Far too many unexpected things had already happened to him far too recently. Even so, Kurou responded, “No, I am not. I am an android. I was built here in Sternbild.”
The boy brightened. “Oh, a robot!”
He was certainly not designed for children. “Similar enough.”
"Were you one of the really big ones? With lasers and stuff?" The boy made "laser sounds", miming something like guns in either hand.
Without Turing around, it seemed that there was little choice other than to entertain the young human’s inquiries. “I was a humanoid robot. An android. I did not have lasers, but I did have an energy blade and an energy pistol.”
"Wow, neat."
"I did not like them much." Kurou admitted moodily.
The boy sat down at that point, as if ready to have a real conversation. “What? Why?”
"They were designed to do harm. I do not wish to do harm." The android simplified, not certain why he was still talking to begin with.
"Really? Even though you’re a robot?"
"Yes. All life is valuable."
"Even bugs?” The boy asked, sounding as though the thought were horrifying.
"Yes." Kurou confirmed. "At the very least, they provide food for other creatures. They also aid in keeping the environment livable."
”Bugs do that?”
"They do, yes. They are necessary for the survival of the entire planet and should at least commend a bit of respect."
"Gee." The boy responded quietly. "Guess so."
Sighing. The ability to sigh would be so nice right then. He was sure of it. Luckily there was some salvation in the sound of something running toward them, Kurou turning his head and barely making out the shape. “Turing.”
Coming to a stop, the robot’s “tail” wagged. “TINY KUROU HELLO. HELLO UNIDENTIFIED SMALL HUMAN.”
The boy looked positively awestruck. “Wow, is this your robot dog?”
"As much as I might like to respond otherwise, that is generally what he is, yes." Kurou agreed. "I fear that we will need to leave immediately in order to make it back at a decent time—"
"To your space ship?" The boy interrupted, hopeful.
There were options. A great many of them, in fact. There seemed only one intelligent one, however. “Yes. My apologies, but we must leave quickly.”
"Okay!" The boy agreed enthusiastically. "Come back sometime, alright?"
"If possible." Kurou answered vaguely as Turing carefully picked up the toy between his "teeth", bounding off toward the apartment.
A week after the incident, Kurou was finally able to transfer to his newly restored body. It was a relief, to say the least; and his mood improved immediately.
He apologized profusely to nearly everyone he’d encountered over those few days of being trapped in the body of a toy, at first thinking that it might just be a cathartic experience to throw the thing away… then thought better of it. Returning to the area directly beneath the construction site, he placed the toy tiger next to the pillar there with a note:
There was a small human who offered me conversation when I had taken this form. Thank you.
It was a little wistful and incredibly silly. Quite frankly, so was the fact that an artificial intelligence recognized as a sentient citizen of Sternbild had spent a number of days in the body of a toy tiger.