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“Doctor!” Red-headed Tony Tyler jumped into the Doctor’s arms.
The Doctor swooped Tony up and onto his shoulders. “What do you want to do today?”
“Play with toys! I brought Bumblebee, Mr. Potatohead, and a Bad Guy. We can play Transformers!”
“Sounds brilliant.”
“Your dad and me, we haven’t had a date in ages," Jackie told Rose. "Going to see a film -- and one that's not animated, thank heavens, and then down to the pub for a pint and a quiz. Shouldn’t be out too late.”
“Have fun, Mum. Don’t worry about the time. Tony can spend the night even.”
Jackie handed her daughter Tony’s Transformers-themed rucksack. “He brought his whole room with him, I think. And there’s a surprise in there from his Dad. Spoils him rotten, that man.”
“And you love it.” Rose hugged her mother. “Have fun!”
oOo
“It’s Ultimate Prime! It’s Ultimate Prime!” Tony exclaimed, tearing open the package to get to his new toy.
“It’s from Dad. Make sure you thank him, Tony,” Rose said.
“I will." He grinned. "Doctor, let’s play Transformers!”
“Oh! Transformers are brilliant! Who do I get to be?”
Tony ran to get his bag of toys, and pulled out a Mr. Potato Head. “Give him a scary face. He’s an alien potato.”
“Oh! I’ll make him a Sontaran!” the Doctor squealed as he opened the flap in back and dumped out the silly pieces.
Rose laughed in the background. “Lunch will be ready in about ten minutes, boys. Cheesy noodles.”
“Oh, brilliant!” the two ‘boys’ drawled in unison.
“I am Staal!” the Doctor said in a deep voice. “Sontar ha!”
“Sontor ha!” copied Tony.
“Did I ever tell you about the time that a Sontaran named Skunk—“
“Skunk!” Tony giggled. “Was he stinky?”
“Was he stinky? He stunk worse than a Blorgallian Bog Dog, and that is very stinky. Rose got licked by one once, and she stunk for days. Bog Dogs are very affectionate.”
“Oi! I heard that! You pushed me into that bog, if I recall,” she called from the kitchen.
“To save you from that herd of Areyouesses that was coming for you!”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Tony covered his mouth and laughed. “Was that Leather You or This Hair you?”
“Leather.”
Tony leaned in close. “Rose took me to Henrik’s last week. She was looking at leather coats. She kept sniffing 'em. Isn't that strange?” Tony whispered into the Doctor’s ear.
"Not strange at all," the Doctor grinned.
“Well I think it's weird. Did you know your birthday is coming up? You’re gonna be one!” Tony giggled. “I’m older than you are! I’m older than you are!” he sang.
The Doctor winked at him. “That’s my spy — you just keep your eyes open.”
Tony picked up his new toy. “I’m Ultimate Prime, and I’m going to save the universe from the evil emperor Zorgon!”
“Zygon?” asked the Doctor.
“No, Doctor." He rolled his eyes just like his big sister. "Zygons look like a boy thing.”
Rose snorted a laugh, and the Doctor choked.
“A Zygon tried to infiltrate 10 Downing about two years ago,” Rose called from the kitchen, still laughing. “I didn’t know that Tony was peeking over my shoulder. The little spy."
The Doctor elbowed and winked at Tony.
"He saw a picture of the thing on my laptop. He laughed about it for days.”
Tony picked up a figurine with a long pointy beard and arched eyebrows. “I’m the evil emperor Zorgon! I’m here to destroy your planet!”
“What is Skunk the Sontaran supposed to do? Jump on him? Clone him?” asked the Doctor.
“Nothing. He watches. Ultimate Prime is the hero.”
The Doctor frowned.
Playtime continued for a few more minutes until Rose called them for lunch. The toys were abandoned on the floor.
oOo
“I’m an Ood,” Tony said, mouth full, spaghetti noodles hanging down his chin.
“Put those back in your mouth, little man,” Rose admonished. “What would Mum say?”
“Mum would put me in time out, but Dad would laugh and do it too. And then Mum would say, you keep doing that and you’re cut off. What does cut off mean, Rose? Mum would never cut off Dad’s arm or something, would she?”
Rose shook her head forcefully. “No! It’s like grownup time out.”
“Do you ever get grownup time out, Doctor? You’re always doing messy stuff like Ood noodles.”
The Doctor tugged on his ear, and Rose raised an eyebrow and smirked. His head snapped towards the lounge.
“What’s wrong, Doctor?” Rose asked. “I know that look.”
“Did you hear something, Rose? Tony? I heard something. Like a high-pitched zinging sound. I haven’t heard the sound… in years. Very distinctive.”
Rose and shook her head, and Tony continued to slurp noodles.
“I didn’t hear anything, Doctor,” said Rose.
“I know I heard something.”
“Maybe it was Ultimate Prime. The package says he talks and makes sounds,” Rose suggested.
“You’re probably right.”
“Hurry up and eat already, I want to play!” Tony nagged, his plate now empty.
"Tony, you go wash the cheese off of your hands and face, and then we'll play."
Tony scurried off.
“Rose, I’m serious. That robot toy? Alien tech.”
“Come on, Doctor,” she drawled. “It’s just a toy. It whirrs and walks and talks. I put the batteries in myself, and there’s a gift receipt. Mum got it at We B’ Toys.”
“Not a toy.” The Doctor crossed his arms. "Transformers do not emit a level two sub-sonic universal greeting."
"Is it dangerous?" she asked.
"No, no, no!" he grinned. "Very friendly. The friendliest of greetings! Usually precedes the offering of gifts or blessings."
“All right, then. You try and take it from Tony.” Rose crossed her arms right back at him.
oOo
“Chhhhssshhhhhh!” Tony flew the robot toy above his head. He came to a screeching halt and held Bad Guy Zorgon face to face with Ultimate Prime.
“I’m Emperor Zorgon! And you will obey me!” he hissed. “Evil Ultimate Prime, I command you to fire!” Tony held the red robot high above his head.
“Tony, we have a surprise for you. Rose is going to take you to get a treat.”
“A treat, Doctor?” Rose asked.
“Yep. Ice cream.” The Doctor leveled a look that meant business.
Rose nodded, and then swept her five year old brother into his arms. “Go on, give your toys to the Doctor. Can’t have the evil robot and the emporor Zorgon threatening innocent people at the ice creamery.”
“Awwww, do I have to?” Tony whinged.
“Yep.”
Tony handed the toys to the Doctor, a thick lower lip pooching out.
oOo
Tony held the maraschino cherry above his mouth and then grabbed it with his teeth before sticking his finger into the generous dollop of whipped cream on the top of his chocolate-caramel swirl banana split.
“…so Evil Emperor Zorgon shot Ultimate Prime with his sigma ray gun, and BAM! Ultimate Prime turned evil! He can’t even transform into a train engine anymore! Now he transforms into a big roller thing like the ones that make roads! With spikes! And laser beams that shoot out of his eyes!”
“Well that is certainly terrifying, Tony. Do you think the Doctor could save him?”
“Of course he could! The Doctor can do anything.”
“Can I have a bite of your sundae?”
“No. Get your own,” he said, caramel dripping down his chin.
“Oi! You’ve been around the Doctor too much. Rude.”
“Rose, I want to be just like him when I grow up.”
“Of course you do.” Rose smiled at him fondly.
Tony dropped the spoon on the table. The chocolate ice cream quickly melted into a sticky puddle. He sighed, “I’m done. I can’t eat anymore. Can we go home? I want to play with my new toy.”
“Told ya not to get the large.” Rose rolled her eyes.
oOo
“Hey Tony! Go into the lounge. I put Transformers on the telly! It’s the new-new series, and you get to see it two years before your mates.”
“All right! Woo hoo!” Tony ran into the lounge area of the open loft, and jumped onto the enormous beanbag that was reserved just for him.
Transformers! Robots in the Skies! he sang along as he transformed Bumblebee into her VW Beetle form. He rolled the yellow car over the bumps and valleys of the beanbag as the action began to play out on the holographic screen.
“Psst, Rose,” the Doctor motioned his head towards his lab on the far side of the enormous, formerly industrial space.
Rose crossed her arms. “You’re not gonna tell me it’s alien are you?”
“Most definitely alien. Rose Tyler. I just finished fixing his universal translator. Looks like it was damaged by some sort of a laser weapon."
"You're having me on," she guffawed, but then she saw a flickering hologram projected onto the table, but then it glitched.
"Hold on." The Doctor pressed his sonic against the side of the robot's armour. "Let's try this again."
"Rose Tyler, you've served the universe as Defender of the Earth. Now I beg you to help us in our struggle against the evil Emperor Zorgon. I regret that I am unable to present my request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack, and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Cybertron has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Transformers into the memory systems of Ultimate Prime. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Rose Tyler. You're my only hope.
Rose stared for a moment, and then burst into hysterics.
"You heard him, he needs you, Rose, and this is his desperate hour."
"Right," she drawled. She picked up the toy, turned it over, and showed him the back. "*Press here to record your holographic message* Tony's been begging for this toy for a year. You think I didn't know it could do this? Mum's refused to buy it 'cos it cost a hundred and fifty quid. He must've worn Dad down."
"Tony, you can come out now," the Doctor called. "Rose figured it out."
"Aww," he complained. "But it was a good trick, wasn't it Rose?"
"It was a great one, Tony."
A conspiratorial grin grew on Tony's face. "Doctor, let's do another one. But this time, let's trick Mum!"