Work Text:
PRESENT
Taehyung didn’t know when all of it exactly started. Probably yesterday, when Jeongguk texted him about the date he attended and Taehyung knew he shouldn’t have felt envious of the fact but he still did. Or probably when he got in the basketball varsity and, the famous, Jeon Jeongguk smiled at him so genuinely while welcoming him to the team. Maybe not that, maybe it was the time when Jeongguk told him that he felt most comfortable with Taehyung than with anyone else in the team, that the bond between them was tight and healthy. If it’s not one of those three things, it could have possibly been the time when Jeongguk told him that Taehyung made him the happiest with the biggest smile on his face while looking at Taehyung so fondly.
Fuck, he should be sleeping right now but he couldn’t do that.
Perhaps he was looking too much into things. What if Jeongguk was just being the best friend he is and making Taehyung feel very important because that’s the way friendships work, right? Right. If his best friend knew Taehyung was putting malice into everything Jeongguk had done for him, he’ll possibly be creeped out and end the friendship they had right away. That’s the thing that scares Taehyung shitless. He would rather lose everything than lose the most treasured friendship he has now.
-
FOUR YEARS AGO
They first met back in middle school. Well, not actually met but… Taehyung was a transfer student who adapted easily with the crowd because of his natural friendly behavior. He escalated through the hierarchy of the school quickly, without no trouble. He wasn’t the best in class but he still managed to be optimistic about it. Taehyung liked encouraging his friends and classmates about doing their best every time and, possibly, that’s what they loved about him. Even at his gloomiest times, he still had a huge smile on his face.
Taehyung had his fair share of admirers. Anyone who has heard of the name ‘Kim Taehyung’ would not be able to deny that because he sure did. It was his first day in eighth grade and he already received three bars of chocolate placed on top of his desk. There was also a sticky note on top of one of the chocolate bars.
I heard these are your favorites so I hope you’re going to enjoy these! :)
His classmates constantly teased him about it all throughout the day but of course, Kim Taehyung being Kim Taehyung, he didn’t get fed up. Instead, he just shook his head every time and smiled. He hoped the person who gave that to him would reveal herself so he could thank her personally because it is, indeed, his favorite chocolate.
When he arrived home that same day, he was ready to prepare and review for the upcoming exams but he heard his phone ping, signaling about a new notification. He didn’t hesitate to check it because let’s all face it, Taehyung had a very short attention span. He gets distracted easily.
Jeon Jeongguk sent you a friend request!
His eyebrows furrowed but he clicked on the notification nonetheless and it went straight to his Facebook app. Taehyung knew Jeon Jeongguk. He had the greatest grades out of all the students in their batch whilst Taehyung was struggling a little bit too much. Plus, they’re classmates this year so, absolutely, he knew Jeon Jeongguk.
Taehyung accepted his friend request and just a few minutes after, Jeongguk already sent him a message.
Jeon Jeongguk:
Listen, I know who put the chocolates on your desk.
His eyebrows raised after reading this.
Kim Taehyung:
what do u mean?
Jeon Jeongguk:
The 3 chocolate bars. Basically, everyone’s topic earlier.
I know who put it there.
Do you want to guess who it is first?
Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from laughing softly and shaking his head because, wow. What a great way to start a conversation with a person you don’t talk to at all.
Kim Taehyung:
ah no idk tbh
i was lowkey waiting for her to reveal herself so i could probably thank her but :<
Jeon Jeongguk:
How sure are you that it was a girl though?
Kim Taehyung:
ah, what
u mean it was a boy who put that there?
Jeon Jeongguk:
What if it is?
Kim Taehyung:
it’s also fine i guess, i just assumed quickly. my bad
Jeon Jeongguk:
Nah, I’m just messing with you haha
Yes, it was a girl.
Kim Jennie.
That’s her.
I caught her red-handed.
Kim Taehyung:
ur really mean :<
what if she didn’t want me to know
Jeon Jeongguk:
Trust me, she wants you to know.
Taehyung didn’t open the message. He didn’t like it when people forced words into other people’s mouths. He doesn’t like it when people tells him something they obviously had no right to talk about. Although, he ended up forgetting about it anyway.
-
TWO YEARS AGO
It was his second year in high school when he got recruited into the school’s basketball team.
“Kim Taehyung-ssi!” An unfamiliar voice yelled from across the hall. Taehyung turned his head to find the person who called him but, to no avail, there were a lot of people going in and out of their classrooms, getting their books from their lockers and so on and so forth. Although, some students turned their heads to the one screaming his name like there was no tomorrow.
Before he knew it, there was someone stumbling in front of him.
“Kim Taehyung-ssi. It’s me, it’s me. I was the one calling you,” the stranger tried to speak properly but he was struggling because of his ragged breaths.
“Calm down, what’s going on?”
The man tried to say something but ended up shaking his head and raising a finger while his other hand was resting on his knee. “Give me a second.”
“Yeah, of course. Do you need water or something?” Taehyung asks and the stranger shakes his head and mumbles a quiet ‘no, thanks for offering though’.
“I’m Jung Hoseok. Just in case you thought I was some creep screaming your name from afar,” the boy introduced himself while straightening his posture. His chest was still heaving up and down but it was much better than his state earlier.
“No, it’s fine. I didn’t think that way,” Taehyung smiles softly and shakes his head a bit. Hoseok nodded his head and smiled back.
“Great. So, we need you in the gymnasium right now. Come on, let’s go.”
The smile from Taehyung’s face fell as he furrowed his eyebrows at Hoseok who was smiling widely and already walking away.
“Wait, what? What do they need me there for? The tryouts for the basketball is currently on-going, right? And… my next class is in fifteen minutes.”
He followed Hoseok even if he doesn’t know why. This guy probably wouldn’t have run so fast just to find Taehyung if it wasn’t for something important.
“That’s exactly why they need you and don’t worry. Coach will give you an excuse slip for you to present to your teacher.”
“I’m needed for the tryouts?”
“Yes, silly. You finally get what I’m trying to say.”
Taehyung had a shit ton of questions in his mind. Yes, he did enjoy playing basketball. From the feeling of dribbling a ball smoothly to the satisfaction he gets every time he shoots the ball into the ring is indescribable. It does calm him most of the time but, heck, he didn’t tell any of his friends he was interested in trying out for the school’s basketball team because in the first place, he was NOT interested. Basketball is his hobby, that would never change, but he never really took it seriously. Christ, it didn’t even cross his mind to try out for the team.
Hoseok didn’t talk much either. He only put his arms over Taehyung’s shoulder while shaking him a bit when they arrived inside the school’s gymnasium.
“Good luck! I hope you make it into the team. I heard you’re really good,” Hoseok says quietly before screaming, “Coach! Kim Taehyung is here!”
He didn’t have time to think about what Hoseok said because he already turned around to look at them and Taehyung has never felt more awkward and out of place in his life than now. All the men are already dressed for tryouts and he’s over here wearing his complete uniform with books and notebooks in hand.
“Everyone go do your warm-ups, I’ll just talk to Mr. Kim over there!”
Kim Namjoon is his teacher in Physical Education and he also happens to be the coach of the team. Now he’s being able to put pieces together.
“Seonsaengnim, what does this mean?” Taehyung asks, confusion written all over his face.
“I’ve seen you play inside the court, Taehyung. You’re good. We need you in the team but of course you still have to do tryouts so it isn’t unfair and they’ll see what I’ve been bragging about,” Namjoon patted him on his right shoulder.
“W-wait. I haven’t even... I don’t even know if I want to do the tryouts.”
Namjoon sighed, “please, Taehyung. Give it a chance. Plus, this can raise your grades higher because if you do get in, you’ll be representing the whole school and they’ll give you additional points for that.”
“But it might distract me and I’ll fail my classes even more,” Taehyung reasoned out.
“Listen, Taehyung. Your grades aren’t the worst and if they start going down, they’ll pull you out of the team. I’m sorry if I was too forward but I’m your teacher and it’s my job to push you past your limits and I’ve seen you play. You’re smooth and you play as if you’ve been competing with other schools for years. If you really don’t want to try, it’s okay. I’m not going to force you.”
His teacher gave him a warm smile and a part of him was telling him to join the tryouts. Maybe it’s time for him to get out of his comfort zone and try things he hasn’t tried before.
“Alright, seonsaengnim. I’ll try.”
“Now, that’s what I wanted to hear, Taehyung. Hoseok! Come over here!”
Hoseok ran over to where they were standing with a wide smile on his face. “What’s good? Did he agree?”
“Yes, and I need you to let him borrow one of your old jerseys and shoes.”
“Of course, Taehyung-ssi, come with me.”
Taehyung left his belongings on one of the bleachers before joining Hoseok so he could change. The locker room and shower stalls weren’t far from the gymnasium so they were in front of Hoseok’s locker in just a matter of seconds.
“The tryouts are pretty basic and judging from what I’ve heard, you’re already in.”
“Already in? What do you mean?”
Hoseok sat on one of the benches after throwing his jersey at the younger man. Taehyung started unbuttoning his uniform while his back was on the other male.
“I got in that way. When I was still a sophomore like you right now, Mr. Kim was also the one to encourage me to join the tryouts.”
“What year are you in right now?” Taehyung asked while fumbling with his belt and taking his pants off to wear Hoseok’s basketball shorts.
“I’m in my senior year so I’m going to be graduating. You should do well, alright? I’m rooting for you. I don’t like the people who are joining the tryouts so far. I’ve only seen a few good ones here and there.”
Taehyung sat beside Hoseok to remove his school shoes and wear Hoseok’s. Fortunately, they aren’t too big. It doesn’t fit him like a glove but it’s still okay.
“Don’t get your hopes high, hyung. I’m not that good. I don’t even know why Namjoon encouraged me to join the tryouts. I’m just going to try.”
“Mhm, I don’t think so. He wouldn’t just randomly pick someone from his class and push them to join the tryouts. If he says you’re good, then you are above average that’s for sure. That man has high standards.”
“That’s really pressuring me right now, hyung,” Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh and Hoseok ended up laughing as well. It lightened up the atmosphere and loosened Taehyung’s nerves.
“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m sorry if it came out like that but I’m just trying to make you believe in yourself, man, because it looks like you really don’t.”
“I haven’t joined tryouts or any auditions for anything before this so… I don’t really know what to expect.”
“Well, everyone has a first.”
-
Taehyung ended up doing warm-ups on his own because the others were done. They were already doing free throws while Taehyung just watched them.
“Huddle up, everyone!” Namjoon yelled. They all jogged to wherever Namjoon was, including Taehyung, and listened attentively.
The members of the basketball team came in the gymnasium and sat on one of the bleachers already to watch the upcoming game.
“We’re going to be splitting you into two teams and you’ll be competing against each other. Just like a regular game. Then I’ll check your skills from there. Simple as that. Everyone understands?”
Everyone shouted a ‘yes’ so Namjoon started dividing the group. Taehyung only noticed then that some of his classmates are joining the tryouts too, some are even in the same team as him. He’s in Team B.
“Good to see you here, Taehyung,” Park Jimin, his classmate, tried to put an arm around Taehyung but failed abruptly because of the height difference so he just patted Taehyung’s back.
Taehyung noticed that so he laughed and put an arm around Jimin easily.
“I didn’t know you played basketball, Jimin-ah. You always preferred written exams than actual games every time.”
“That was back in middle school, asshole.” Jimin shoved him playfully to which Taehyung just laughed at. His nerves still wouldn’t calm even if he was already laughing it off.
It was because of the members of the basketball team that were seated on the bleachers watching over them. It made Taehyung feel small. It felt like he needed to impress those people and to do that he needs to play well. How can he fucking do that if he was nervous as shit?
“Fucking hell,” he cursed silently. Things don’t go nice when he’s anxious.
Soon enough, they started the game with a ball toss. The other team ended up getting the ball but Jimin stole it immediately and running to their side of court then passing the ball to Taehyung. He dribbled once before shooting the ball from the three-point line but, unfortunately, it didn’t get in. It was a sloppy shot, he knew. Taehyung’s jaw clenched while the players from the other team got the ball and started running.
It was a blur. Everything was fast and Taehyung couldn’t shoot anything because of his nerves and the adrenaline rushing through his body. He could hear Hoseok’s and Mr. Kim’s statements earlier at the back of his mind and maybe it was the pressure and noise in the background that made him think he couldn’t do it. He wanted to hide in his room and sulk about this. He’s so fucking ashamed. He feels like he’s letting his teacher and senior down.
“Taehyung, calm down. You can’t focus because you’re too stressed,” Jimin says while the ball is with the other team and Taehyung nods at that.
Students start going in the gym to watch the game, Taehyung has no idea how and why they’re allowed because as far as he knew classes were still going on and they will distract him even more.
“Calm your fucking nerves. You can’t do anything when you’re fucking anxious,” he cursed at himself and took a deep breath before getting back to the game.
The student who was holding the ball jumped and flicked the ball to the ring but Taehyung managed to jump and catch the ball on time, making everyone drop their jaws and scream Taehyung’s name while cheering him on but he tried to shut them out and ignore the noise. He started running to the other side of the court and he threw the ball to Jimin. His teammate dribbled the ball continuously before throwing it back to Taehyung and he dribbled once again before shooting the ball smoothly.
It ended up getting in which made the crowd scream once again. It seems as if they’re all rooting for Taehyung.
“Three points from Kim Taehyung!”
Taehyung’s team only had fourteen points while the other team had thirty-two but it had the audience biting into their nails and grinding their teeth together as if it was an actual match because Taehyung’s team kept scoring repeatedly and ended up catching up with the other team’s score by the end of third quarter.
Taehyung was fast to protect the ball from being stolen but even faster to steal the ball every time the other team has it. The familiar feeling of the ball being dribbled by his hands even when he was running, his every pore in his body releasing sweat and his passion to play basketball for himself and only for his own self were strong enough to block the tension forming between the two teams, the noise coming from the people watching and it made him stop thinking of fulfilling the expectations of the members of the team and the coach himself.
“Last two minutes for the fourth quarter. Thirty-nine. Forty-one. Team A is still leading.”
The ball was with Taehyung and he’s currently pointing out for his teammate to place himself on the three-point line. His teammate complied so he threw the ball at the boy while he jogged to where the ball would drop. The man who was holding the ball dribbled and aimed for the ball to shoot but, unfortunately, it missed the ring. Still, Taehyung ended up getting the ball and doing a lay-up which made everyone stand up from their seats and yell Taehyung’s name.
“Forty-one all. One minute!”
It was the other team’s turn to have the ball but Taehyung steals it again and throws it to the nearest teammate of his, which is Jimin, because they’re all guarding Taehyung which makes him unable to run any further. Jimin dribbled a few times before throwing it to the ring.
“Two points from Park Jimin! Team B is now leading with forty-three points!”
Taehyung had a wide smile on his face while running to Jimin’s place to shove his head playfully to which Jimin reciprocated but after that they’re focused on the game again.
“Thirty seconds more.”
Taehyung’s team was on full defense on the other side of the court. The other team had the ball and if one person from that team shoots from the three-point line, it’s an end game.
It wouldn’t be that hard to block their shots but it’s confusing because the ball is getting passed everywhere and he doesn’t know which person to guard. Mr. Kim started counting down from five and the person who was from the other team stood on the three-point line and threw the ball to the ring.
Taehyung couldn’t do anything else but follow the ball with his eyes as it hits the board of the ring but doesn’t go in the ring. A whistle goes out and everyone is suddenly screaming and clapping their hands.
Jimin goes straight to Taehyung and ruffles his hair playfully while handing him a cold bottle of water. Every student who participated in the tryouts rapidly went to where Taehyung was standing to pat his back with wide smiles on their faces. Taehyung couldn’t do anything but laugh and throw a bit of water on Jimin’s face.
“I fucking told you, man!” Hoseok came in the picture and held Taehyung’s shoulders and kept shaking him with a huge smile plastered on his face.
“Yah, hyung! That hurts!” Taehyung joked and faked a cry but ended up laughing nonetheless.
“Everyone, calm down! Coach has to say something,” the boy beside Mr. Kim clapped his hands to quiet everybody down. He was a bit short but Taehyung is sure he’s part of the team because he’s seen that face around. Min Yoongi, was it? He’s not sure.
They all stopped what they were doing to hear what the coach must say.
“As you all want to hear, you all did good. Might I add that the game was nice and clean, nobody got hurt and I’m more than happy about that,” Mr. Kim says while letting his gaze pass through the young men in front of him.
“The official results of everyone who got in will be out tomorrow morning but what I can say now for sure is that… Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung, congratulations. You’re both in.”
Everyone clapped their hands while chanting both of their names. Someone was holding Taehyung’s nape when it happened. Taehyung looked up with the biggest smile on his face when their gazes met.
Jeon Jeongguk. That was the first thing that popped into Taehyung’s mind as he stared back at the brown orbs looking at him. The boy smiled and mouthed a ‘congratulations’ at Taehyung. As far as Taehyung knew, Jeongguk was a part of the school’s basketball team since he was a freshman and that alone, says a lot. Taehyung nodded his head and returned the smile before removing his gaze away from Jeongguk.
-
from: jimin pabo
training tmrrw @ 7am
Taehyung was doing his chemistry assignment when he received the text from Jimin that had his eyes widening. He put his pen down before grabbing his phone and typing his passcode to reply.
to: jimin pabo
wait wtf seriously
that’s like an hr before classes start
too early meh :<
from: jimin pabo
that’s the point dumbass
how can u train during 8am
we have classes
to: jimin pabo
:< meanie
we have to be there by 7?
from: jimin pabo
yes
see u there, shit
to: jimin pabo
go away and stop bothering me
from: jimin pabo
gladly
-
Taehyung was always on time. Always. That’s why when he got there, it wasn’t even seven yet. Still quarter to seven. There was only one student in the gymnasium and he was tying his shoelaces so Taehyung couldn’t name him yet because he had his head down. He put his bag down on the bleacher and got his phone out of his pocket to text Jimin and ask for his whereabouts.
He got a bit startled when someone suddenly sat down right beside him.
“Good morning.”
It was Jeongguk.
Taehyung hummed and greeted him back. “Good morning to you as well.”
“Do you usually wake up this early? You don’t look that bothered.” Jeongguk asks, starting a small conversation and breaking the ice.
“Ah, no. It actually took me every energy I had to get myself out of bed,” Taehyung replies while smiling sheepishly to which Jeongguk laughs at.
“The training’s going to wake you up, then. Don’t worry. Oh, and by the way. You might be confused as to why we’re training so early. Coach just wants us trained well so we could win the competition soon.”
“I’m kind of new to this so… when’s the competition?”
“It’s fine, I was the absolute same last year. I had no clue what to do and shit so if you have questions or anything, don’t hesitate to ask us, okay? And to answer your question, the competition is going to happen in four months.”
Taehyung didn’t expect Jeongguk to speak too much, not that he didn’t like it because he did, but he expected him to be more composed and closed off most of the time. That’s what he’s been hearing about the boy beside him. Plus, they never talked even if they’ve been in the same batch for years, sometimes even in the same class for a year. Or maybe they did and Taehyung just forgot about it because he’s a dick.
“You know what? I feel like this is going to be a great year, man.”
“Indeed.”
-
TEN MONTHS AGO
“Seriously, Jeongguk. I’m okay. Calm the fuck down,” Taehyung held Jeongguk’s shoulders but the other guy wouldn’t listen to him and still had eyes on the opposing team. “I can still walk and run just fine. Calm down.”
“Jeongguk-ah, sit down. You might add more to the team’s numbers of fouls. I’ll let Hyungwon substitute.”
“I am going to play, coach,” the boy says firmly to which Taehyung shakes his head at because there’s no way Namjoon would let him play when he’s this angry.
“No, kid. You don’t get to say that. Sit down. Taehyung, let’s go back in the court.”
This time, it wasn’t Namjoon who told Jeongguk to stay back. It was Yoongi and Jeongguk has no choice but to listen because even though Namjoon is the coach and Yoongi’s just the captain ball, he is much more frightening when the match is going on.
Taehyung nodded and turned his back against Jeongguk, who was now sitting on one of the benches. The referee blew the whistle and the game is starting again. He couldn’t run properly because of his fall earlier. It was a blur but all he could remember was that someone hit him pretty hard then he was on the floor while Jeongguk was helping him up. Then he remembers Jeongguk approaching the boy that bumped Taehyung and Yoongi dragging him back.
Taehyung still managed to dribble the ball and run to the other side of the court. He passed the ball to Hoseok so they could be able to score. It’s the last quarter yet the scores of both teams had a big gap from each other and Taehyung’s school was the one leading. That’s probably why the other team decided to inflict violence because they knew they were going to lose.
The match passed and Taehyung’s school won, as expected. Everyone had the biggest smiles on their faces while they were in the bus. They were on their way to a buffet restaurant to celebrate because they’re now included in the finals which will happen in two weeks.
“Are you still hurt?” Jeongguk asked. They’re sitting together and Taehyung has the window seat.
Taehyung tore his gaze from outside then laughed softly. “You’re so worried, Guk-ah. I’m okay. I’m not made of glass.”
“Trust me, you look like you were going to cry that’s why I was mad,” Jeongguk yawned. Taehyung gasped at this.
“What? What do you mean ‘going to cry’? Excuse you, it didn’t even hurt.”
“Stop lying, Taehyung. You really looked like you were about to.”
“I’m not lying. God, you’re such a bully sometimes.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll still accept you even if you cry because you lost your toy car.”
“That should be my line. Remember when you cried because you lost when we were playing Mario?”
Jeongguk frowned at him because of this. “What even… No! I didn’t cry. I just got mad.”
“You cried.”
“No, I didn’t. Shut up.”
“Yes, you did.” Taehyung singsongs.
“No, I did not. You cried because you thought your dog from Daegu died.”
“I thought he was dead! How could I not cry?”
“Crybaby.”
“Shut up.” Taehyung huffs while leaning on the window beside him. Although, a smile was breaking out of his face and on Jeongguk’s as well.
-
PRESENT
Taehyung felt something drop in his stomach when the sight in front of him sinks in. They have their backs on Taehyung but it still stung like a fuck. He clenched his jaw and repeatedly told himself he shouldn’t be like this. Why the fuck is he feeling this right now?
“Taehyungie! You’re here?”
Someone suddenly appeared beside him but he already knew who that someone was even if he had his eyes closed and back turned away. It was Jimin holding a tray full of food and one large cup of cold water. Taehyung sensed curiosity in Jimin’s eyes and his lips forming into a smirk so he quickly raised both his eyebrows and put a smile on his face.
“Yes, I am, dumbass. Do I look like a digital picture right now or did you suddenly forget that I’m your friend?” Taehyung laughs it off while setting his own tray on the table where Jeongguk and the others sat.
“You told me about this girl you were meeting this lunch period, right?” Jimin said loudly while pushing Taehyung to move and make him sit down.
“What even-? Who? And can you stop pushing me please? I’m already squeezing Mina, thank you very much,” Taehyung replied sarcastically.
“You don’t remember, seriously? You did tell me about the girl you’re going to be meeting right now… Or she got stood up by you or something?”
Jimin finally stopped pushing so he wouldn’t have to look at Jeongguk’s girlfriend apologetically anymore.
“What? Taehyung-ah, you’re dating someone?” Kihyun, their teammate, asks, confusion leaking out of his tone. Everyone in their table is suddenly quiet, waiting for Taehyung’s answer.
Taehyung almost choked at the question. “What the hell? Seriously, no, Kihyun. Jimin, I swear. Stop with this shit right now.”
“Aah, you shouldn’t be shy, Taehyung. Wait, her name is Jennie, right? There she is. You stood her up, didn’t you?” Jimin nods at the group of girls far away from them.
“I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about, Jimin. I’m not interested in anyone at the moment, okay?” Taehyung huffs while grabbing his chopsticks to start eating.
“Not interested in anyone at the moment? You sure about that?” Jimin asks with a smirk and Taehyung has never whipped his head so fast with a frown painted on his face.
Jimin was the first one to break the eye contact and focusing instead on the two people beside Taehyung.
“By the way, Guk-ah and Mina. How did your date last night go?”
Everyone starts to mind their own business but Taehyung is just there, eyes planted on Jimin. The other guy just smiles widely when Mina starts talking but Taehyung doesn’t even bother listening.
He goes back to minding his own food but he can’t even look at the guy beside Mina, who’s apparently the root cause of everything he’s feeling now.
-
from: jeongguk
You like Kim Jennie?
Taehyung frowned at the notification that showed up on top of his phone screen but ended up clicking on it to reply anyway.
to: jeongguk
u actually believed jimin
that fuck
no I don’t
from: jeongguk
Ah.
Jeongguk replied fast but it was short and he doesn’t normally text him back like this so it makes Taehyung frown even more.
to: jeongguk
are u ok, guk?
from: jeongguk
I broke up with Mina.
Taehyung doesn’t fucking know why his heart is beating so fast, his palms are sweating and his head is reeling. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling relieved because that’s just plain cruel, but that’s exactly what he’s feeling right now.
He knows it’s fucked up. He knows Jeongguk is probably waiting for him to reply because he left the younger boy on read. He knows he should be telling someone about how he feels but, Kim Taehyung being Kim Taehyung, he decides to hide it under the rug.
to: jeongguk
sorry mom called me downstairs
but wtf guk???
why tf would u do that
mina’s the sweetest
The younger’s boy reply came in a matter of seconds.
from: jeongguk
I like someone else, hyung.
Well, fuck. Taehyung thinks.
to: jeongguk
serious-fucking-ly, jeon jeongguk!!!!!!
u and mina dated for 7 fuckin months
and
u throw that away for this “someone else”
im definitely gonna punch u tmrrw
for mina
and ur being a dick
from: jeongguk
No, Taehyung. Please don’t ignore me.
And this isn’t just someone else, hyung.
I’m not shallow.
I’m not a dick either.
to: jeongguk
fine guk u get to have the final decision anyway
and ur relationship w mina is none of my business
it’s just that
ur losing someone really really valuable
but please do make sure that this someone else is worth it okay
Jeongguk doesn’t reply fast and the ‘delivered’ sign wasn’t changing so Taehyung locks his screen and ended up lying on his bed while staring at the ceiling. His room was already dark so he doesn’t really see anything. His phone pinged, signaling a new message. Taehyung sighs before rolling on his bed and grabbing his phone. The lock screen was already open but still not unlocked. Yet, it still showed the message that made Taehyung blink his eyes many times.
from: jeongguk
He is, hyung.
Taehyung was too shocked to unlock his phone and reply so he just stared at the black screen of his phone with his jaw slackened. He doesn’t know what to feel. He doesn’t know how to react. He has no idea how he’s supposed to react because his mind is too surprised to function a thing.
Jeongguk liked guys? Or something… What the fuck is going on?
There are so many questions in his mind that he doesn’t know which ones to prioritize first. All he knows is that he’s going to be sleep deprived in the next morning and this time, he does what he’s good at. He will try to push it under the rug again.
-
Taehyung ended up going to school very sleep deprived and walking through the school’s hallways like he’s half dead and barely awake because he didn’t get to sleep at all. He expected to sleep for at least an hour or two but he remembers the view of the sun rising outside of his bedroom’s windows while his eyes were still open.
“Good morning.”
Once Taehyung hears Jeongguk’s voice, his mind literally jolts while his body is on high alert. He looks to his right side frantically and the younger boy is leaning on the locker beside his with a genuine smile on his face.
“Did you sleep well?”
Taehyung blinks a few times with his eyebrows raised before his brain registers the question the younger boy has said. “A-ah. No- Yes. You literally scared me there, Jeongguk. Don’t do that again.”
“You don’t look like you slept well, are you sure?” Jeongguk asks and concern was evident in both his face and tone.
Taehyung fakes a soft laugh, which goes smooth, and puts his attention on the books inside his locker. “I reviewed for our long test in chemistry last night and ended up waking up late because of staying up late. All that shit, you know? How about you? You slept well? Did you study?” He lies smoothly while trying to avert the topic.
He hears Jeongguk sighing. “Oh, that explains you not being able to read my recent message. And, no I didn’t sleep well and I didn’t study. Thank you for that, hyung. I was waiting for you to reply.”
“Huh?” He frowns at Jeongguk, trying to come up with a lie. “I’m sorry. Was it that important?” He could feel his heart beating fast, because he may be good at lying but fuck Jeon Jeongguk for looking at him that way.
Jeongguk’s looking at the older boy with a lazy smile resting on his lips as if he wouldn’t want to look at anything else. Just the guy in front of him.
“It is really important.”
“I left my phone back home because I was rushing. I’ll check it out later, Guk. You should study chemistry during lunch.”
“Are you going to study?”
I couldn’t even study because of you so shut up. Taehyung thinks.
“Yup.”
“Alright, let’s go to the library at lunch then.”
-
“Taehyung,” Jimin calls before Taehyung gets to leave the classroom. The other boy was rushing to fix his things to get to the library as soon as possible.
“Yes?” Taehyung stops frantically grabbing his things for a second when he sees his best friend standing next to him while looking at him in a way that makes Taehyung uncomfortable.
“You know when you need to talk to someone, you can always talk to me right?” Jimin asks, his features are relaxed and Taehyung knows Jimin’s the worst at acting and if he’s just making fun of Taehyung right now, his lips would already be curling into a smile. But it isn’t.
The younger boy stays quiet. Taehyung could hear his heart beating hard and fast as if it would be glad to get out of his chest soon.
“What do you mean, Jimin?” He tries to make his voice calm but obviously fails, his voice is shaking. He clears his throat. “Of course, you’re always the first person I would talk to about something.”
“Where are you going this lunch period?”
Taehyung decides to lie. Jeongguk would understand. “You’re acting weird, Chim-Chim. I’m going to the cafeteria, where else?” He laughs it off but Jimin doesn’t join in and something flickers in the older man’s eyes.
Their classmates were already leaving the classroom and the only people left in there were Taehyung and Jimin. It was like Jimin was waiting for them to leave before he starts to say something.
“Taehyung. You’re really good at lying, I’ll give you that,” Jimin clicks his tongue. “Why did you have to lie to me? Jeongguk told me both of you were going to be studying for chemistry.”
Jimin didn’t sound accusing but he sounded hurt and that makes it even worse. Taehyung’s heart wouldn’t fucking calm and he blinks a few times before formulating a reply.
“I- I… forgot.”
Jimin shakes his head and doesn’t reply. He just looks at Taehyung as if he already knows what’s going on and he’s just waiting for Taehyung to confirm it.
“Jimin…” Taehyung’s voice breaks and that’s all it takes for Jimin to cage the younger boy in his arms.
“It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong about it.” Jimin whispers.
“N-no. It’s fucking wrong. You know it. We both know that. God, h-he doesn’t even know how I feel.”
It was like something really heavy was lifted from Taehyung’s back. He doesn’t know how and why but he felt lighter but at the same time he’s scared.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, Taehyung. You’re still the same Taehyung I know. Just because you like guys, that doesn’t make you any less important.”
“I- I don’t want it, hyung. Maybe this is… j-just a phase or something. I don’t want to ruin anything.”
“You won’t ruin anything. I’m sure if Jeongguk knew about this, he would still be your best friend. Nothing will change.”
“N-no. It isn’t that s-simple. I would rather not tell- Jimin, please don’t say anything. You’re the only person who knows about this. Please. And I don’t- I don’t really want to talk about this right now.”
“Taehyung, trust me. I wouldn’t say anything.”
-
Taehyung went to the library with Jimin so things wouldn’t be as awkward because he doesn’t really know how to deal with Jeongguk right now. He’s sure Jimin could handle Jeongguk easily. They both sat on the table where Jeongguk had already set up the materials they need.
Jeongguk looks up at them with both eyes wide and eyebrows raised. “Oh, Jimin-hyung. I didn’t know you were going to be here too.”
“Yah, Jeon Jeongguk. You’re so rude. I didn’t study for chemistry as well, are you trying to kick me out?” Jimin joked while putting his own notebooks down.
“Yes,” Jeongguk said bluntly which made both Jimin and Taehyung look up at him, expecting him to say it was a joke but he was just looking at Jimin with finality.
Taehyung cleared his throat. “Guk, seriously. I invited Jimin here. Don’t kick him out or something.”
Jeongguk transfers his gaze to the guy in front of him and immediately nods with a small smile on his face. “Okay, hyung.”
Taehyung could feel Jimin’s stares burn at the side of his head but he just decides to ignore it. As he said, he didn’t want to talk about it and it seems as if he’s not good at pushing things under the rug anymore. It’s either he’ll have to try harder or just explode.
He doesn’t want the latter to happen so maybe he’ll just force himself to try harder.
“By the way, Yoongi-hyung will be graduating soon so they’ll have to pick a new captain ball. I wonder who it’ll be, honestly,” Jimin says.
“It won’t be you. You’re too small so shut up.” Jeongguk snarls.
“No, you shut up. Yoongi-hyung and I have the same height so it’s like you’re saying he’s too small as well. I’ll have him punish you later at training.”
“Shut the fuck up. I didn’t say anything.”
Taehyung tuned out their bickering noises and just focused on the textbook opened right in front of him.
-
TWO WEEKS LATER
“Please, for the love of God, focus on the damn game, Taehyung! You’re the captain ball and you’re not doing your best! What are you doing?”
It’s Taehyung’s first time to be screamed at by their coach and he has never felt so ashamed and embarrassed until now. He couldn’t focus on the game because he feels so anxious and pressured, and nothing goes well if he’s in that state. He also felt threatened because the other team is too good in defense, he couldn’t shoot and steal at all.
“If you’re only going to be playing like this then I’ll have to make you sit on the bench!”
Taehyung nods and tries to regain his composure but after getting screamed at like that in front of his teammates, he felt like his self-esteem went down the drain completely.
“Taehyung.”
He feels someone grab his arm and touch the side of his face. Taehyung was looking right into Jeongguk’s eyes. Wait, holy hell. Why is he holding both sides of Taehyung’s face like this?
“Stop thinking you’re playing for others. You’re playing for yourself. You’re playing because you love doing this and not because you want to please others, alright? Calm your nerves. Breathe. You’re going to do alright. Can you understand me?”
Taehyung couldn’t help but nod at what Jeongguk said. He’s right. He’s fucking right, Taehyung. Fucking listen to him. Taehyung keeps replaying that in his own mind that he might be going insane soon.
“That’s good, baby.”
At the same time, Jeongguk lets go of his face and he’s literally left there with his mouth open.
Did he actually just fucking say that? Their teammates didn’t hear it, probably. Fuck. What the fuck just happened.
“Taehyung, the game is going to start soon.” Jimin smirked at him while slapping the back of his head.
He wanted to ignore what Jeongguk said, he wanted to shrug it off but it’s all easier said than done. Taehyung took deep breaths so he could focus on the game and he calms a bit but he still feels desperate and pressured because it’s already the fourth quarter yet they’re still behind.
“Let’s just do our best. Doesn’t matter if we don’t win. If we did our best, at the end of the day we’ll feel no regrets, okay?” Jeongguk tells the whole team and they nod but Taehyung disagrees.
They need to win this. It’s their last year in high school and it’s okay if they don’t win? Fuck no.
-
“Taehyung.”
Someone calls him and even if he had his back on them, he knows who owns that voice. Taehyung chose to ignore everyone and put his earphones in. He knows he’s being petty but he’s too fucking embarrassed. He, himself, knows that he was the reason why the team lost and he couldn’t face his own teammates because of it.
It was already dark outside so they couldn’t see much and once they arrived in their bus, Taehyung immediately sat on the one of the seats at the back. He put the hood of his jacket over his head to cover his face and leaned on the window beside him. Someone sat beside him and he wanted so bad to yell at them to leave him alone but he doesn’t have energy to do that anymore.
Taehyung’s throat was already tightening and his eyes felt like they were already burning. He doesn’t even know why he’s about to cry because he never does. Probably because they never lost the game for a long time. Their school held the title for more than six years and he just had to ruin that.
“What’s going on?” Taehyung hears Jimin’s voice.
“Nothing. Just sit somewhere or something,” he hears Jeongguk’s voice beside him next and Taehyung doesn’t know why but he felt relieved with hearing him talk and sitting beside him.
Jimin didn’t say anything else and Taehyung felt the bus moving. He felt as if something on his back was lifted for a minute because he just wants nothing but to go home and plop on his bed and sleep through everything. Their bus always dropped everyone in front of their own houses so he doesn’t have to have a melodramatic moment walking home alone.
Jeongguk raised a hand to slowly remove the hood on Taehyung’s head and the latter couldn’t do anything but freeze and panic. He let Jeongguk remove his hood but he kept his eyes closed because Taehyung fears that once he opens them, his tears will just flow freely like a fucking waterfall and he doesn’t want to cry in front of anyone else right now.
He felt Jeongguk’s hand unhurriedly try to put Taehyung’s head on top of his shoulder and Taehyung can’t help but relax into the touch, his earphones falling out of his ears in the process. Jeongguk put his other arm around the older guy and started rubbing Taehyung’s right arm soothingly to relax him.
“It’s okay, baby. It’s not your fault. We did our best. It’s no one’s fault, okay?” Jeongguk whispers on top of his head while continuing to caress his arm gently.
Taehyung finds himself nodding and resting his head on Jeongguk’s chest. Jeongguk’s free hand went on Taehyung’s cheeks to wipe the tears that he didn’t even notice leaking out of his eyes. The younger man’s hand transferred to Taehyung’s hair caressing it ever so soothingly.
He doesn’t know how many minutes passed with them staying together like that but Jeongguk tapped his right arm softly and whispered something he didn’t understand.
Taehyung opened his eyes once the bus halted to a stop and noticed that they were in front of his house. He gathered his things and stood up. Once he sees Jeongguk standing up carrying all his own things as well, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at how intimate and needy he was earlier.
Jeongguk let Taehyung walk on the aisle first and just followed behind.
“Taehyung-ah, don’t feel bad, okay? It isn’t your fault. You did well,” he heard Namjoon say once he walked by where his coach was sitting. His teammates suddenly started talking about how he makes such a good captain ball and it’s okay to lose sometimes. Taehyung felt something warming up in his chest but he decides to shrug it off.
“Of course, Coach. Thank you,” Taehyung nods and whispers then rushing his way out of the bus. Jeongguk followed him with a smile on his face. They both heard the bus driving away when Jeongguk proceeds to ask a question while Taehyung was jamming the key of his house inside the doorknob.
“Your parents aren’t home?”
“Uh, y-yes.” He clears his throat because his voice was still hoarse. “Do you want to come in f-for a second or something?”
Jeongguk hummed and Taehyung opened the door then proceeded in opening the lights. As much as he wants to just lie on his bed and cry over his petty fucking ass, he has a guest to welcome and he doesn’t really want to kick Jeongguk out.
“Do you want a drink?”
“No, it’s fine. You look tired. Are you going to sleep?”
“I-I… was supposed to. But, you’re here so… It’s fine.”
“Are you kicking me ou-?”
“No!”
Taehyung was quick to answer and Jeongguk smiled cheekily at that.
“I mean… No. It’s fine.”
“Sure, do what you want to do. If that’s okay with you? I really want to stay here since my parents aren’t home as well.”
Taehyung cleared his throat to stop himself from sounding so eager but unfortunately, he still sounds like so eager. “Yeah, stay here. If you want. And y-yeah, it’s okay for me.”
They were both climbing up the stairs to go to Taehyung’s room when Jeongguk asks, “Are you okay?”
“Y-Yes, I am. What makes you ask that?”
Taehyung opens the door to his bedroom and doesn’t open the light since the streetlight from outside his house is enough to make him see his whole room.
“Just that… You’re stuttering too much and you can’t look me in the eye.”
Fucking hell, did he have to mention that. Taehyung internally groans and just plops on his bed face first.
“This day just drained me a lot… I’m not myself.”
The corner of his bed sunk when Jeongguk sat on it. Taehyung’s bed isn’t too big but it isn’t too cramped either. It’s enough for two people to fit.
There was a long moment of silence.
“Can I lay beside you?”
That single question made Taehyung’s heart leap out of his throat but he decides to just groan and act as if he isn’t affected at all when his whole body is too alert. “It’s fine.”
He hears Jeongguk struggling to take his shoe laces off but when he finally unties them, the space beside him was instantly filled with warmth. It was a few seconds after when he felt Jeongguk playing with his hair.
“What are you doing?” Taehyung asks. Finally. He’s been meaning to ask that question for two weeks now.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Jeongguk asks back and Taehyung could feel his heart hammering against his chest.
Taehyung decides not reply but Jeongguk is only smart enough to repeat the question. “Taehyung, what does it look like I’m doing?”
“I don’t know. Being a good friend,” Taehyung replies lamely.
“Mhm?” Jeongguk hummed and his hands travelling down to Taehyung’s nape.
Every part of his skin that Jeongguk touched felt like it was being burnt in a good kind of way. It’s too good.
“Are you really this oblivious or you just really like hiding things under the rug?”
“What do you mean?”
“Face me.”
Taehyung doesn’t know what made him follow the command. If it was Jeongguk’s tone or voice, he doesn’t know. But he just knows that he’s lost and he doesn’t know where to place himself.
“Now, tell me. What does it look like I’m doing right now? Being a good friend?” Jeongguk moves his left hand to Taehyung’s cheek and the other boy can’t help but sigh and close his eyes at the feeling.
Taehyung’s heart is beating too fast, his brain feels like it isn’t even functioning at all.
“I know you can feel it too, Taehyung. Please say something. Anything.”
Jeongguk’s tone was desperate which made Taehyung open his eyes and look at the man in front of him.
“I never… confessed to someone with the fear of being rejected. I always felt so sure of everything. I know when they like me. I know when everything just clicks. But with you, everything feels fucking different but it feels refreshing at the same time. I… Like you too much, it feels weird to like someone this much.”
Taehyung’s lips were trembling by the time Jeongguk’s done. The warmth of the hand caressing his cheek felt so nice and just right. It doesn’t feel wrong at all. Why should he fear this?
He opens his mouth to say something but all he lets out is, “I’m scared. This feels wrong? B-but.. Fuck, it feels so god damn right at the same time. I don’t know what I’m saying-”
Jeongguk leans forward and presses his lips onto Taehyung’s. None of them dared to move but Taehyung closed his eyes and they both leaned closer. Jeongguk’s hands went to the back of Taehyung’s neck and he pulled away.
“You don’t have to be scared, baby. I’ll always be here.”