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Love was a fiddly thing, especially if you were an idol. In songs and act you had to pretend to be heartbroken or in love for their music videos, but the second that they really did fall in love they ran the risk of losing their career for the fans that cheered on them when they played heartbroken in music videos hated them for actually being happy.
And that was without even adding in the hate you got for daring to love somebody of the same gender, it wasn’t an option. If you were gay you got told to hide, you got told to give up who you were and never show it to anybody because it was dirty, you were dirty.
He was 11 when he signed with JYP and got told that he couldn’t be himself, he never thought it was something special. His parents had told him that some people like boys, some people like girls and it’s okay, so why was it suddenly not okay?
But he didn’t think that much about it, some people had to hide other weird thing a birthmark a scar, at 11 he didn’t think much about it, he was just a kid who didn’t think he ever would want a boyfriend.
Time changed that, he started noticing other guys. While he would admit that the guys on the group he was planned to debut on were hot, they weren’t really his type, but he could still objectively say that they were hot.
It took almost a year before Yugyeom trusted them enough to tell them of his sexuality, this only after Jackson casually mentioned that he had been dating a guy back in Hong Kong, because fuck genders. After that life just went on, nothing major really happened until after they had debuted, and that major thing was a certain bunny teeth maknae of BTS.
Falling for Jungkook was easy, he was funny a little shy at times, hot as fuck and most importantly he understood that being the maknae wasn’t always fun. At the start the bonded over meeting each other at award shows and different stuff. Random meets turns into random texts which turned into talking to each other every night.
Outside of his group Jungkook came to be the person that meant the most to him, he understood him in a level he thought he would never get, he couldn’t explain it without making it sound cheesy.
The thing was he knew that Jungkook felt the same for him, he knew Jungkook had deep feelings for him. He didn’t need to ask him about his sexual orientation or anything like that, cause it didn’t matter. All that mattered were that Jungkook loved him.
There first kiss was right after BTS had won album of the year, the older had been so caught up in emotions that he hadn’t even checked if anybody else were in the room before he swept away in a kiss.
It was the only kiss Yugyeom got to enjoy from Jungkook, the second they parted and Yugyeom looked down at the BTS singer with blown pupils they both knew they had fucked up, they couldn’t do this. It wasn’t like some normal relationship that if it was found out they could still go on even after, if this was found out they were done. They had no chance in the industry anymore. Stupid homophobic country.
After that they tried to stay away from each for a while, everytime they got close to each other Yugyeom could feel the the draw towards him in his chest, and knowing that he couldn’t act on it just made it all worse.
They went on for months like that, both being unable to even look at each other without the longing clear in their eyes. For Yugyeom that feeling never disappeared, he had heard of people who only ever loved one person, and that was it for him. For him that love was a slightly older bunny tooth idol with the prettiest of eyes and most adorable of smiles.
As quickly as they had grown close, they were forced apart again, they just couldn’t stay friends because they had no idea how to hide the emotions.
The next time Yugyeom allowed himself to pay attention to Jungkook it was when he met him at an award ceremony, and he had very beautiful lady on his arm, and when he smiled at Yugyeom it no longer had the heat of love that he had gotten used to, Jungkook had fallen out of love with him.
When he got home that day he cried himself to sleep with Jinyoung cuddling him trying to make him feel better, for the rest of the week he felt like a zombie in his own body. He knew that falling out of love was logical, of course Jungkook had done it, he just couldn’t do it himself, Jungkook was it for him.
Ah karma is terrible, had it been a later date when Korea were more accepting or another place where they weren’t idols this would have been a fairytale ending with a happy ever after. Instead you had an idol hiding his sexuality forcing himself to date girl who doesn’t know any better, and another desperately trying not to fall apart… Oh if only the fans knew Yugyeom thought as he once again dried the tears from his eyes took a deep breath and got on stage.