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I spent the whole day dragging my feet behind everyone else. My head stooped low, and I was physically drained. After our morning briefing, we dispatched into the studio to do our news segment, and Richard approached me with a hand on my shoulder.
“You okay Y/N?” He asked in his suttle voice.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine” I replied, flashing a pretend smile.
“No, you’re not” He said after a few seconds of studying my face carefully.
I could only sigh, tears already started to form in the corners of my eyes.
“Tell me what’s wrong darling” He asked, sitting me down on the stage, and arm wrapped around me.
I sighed again, and rubbed my eyes feverishly, desperate to be rid of my bitter tears.
“I feel terrible Richard” I finally admitted.
“Well what’s going on, you haven’t been this bad since… you know”
“My anxiety? Yeah I know” I replied.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?, forgive all my questions but I want to help you sweetheart” Richard said.
“It’s fine, I’ve just been feeling a little down lately, that’s all” I replied.
“Okay, well, how can I help you?” He asked, looking intently into my eyes.
Bless him, he really does want to help me. I feel bad, because I wanted him to do much more than just make everything better verbally. I wanted him to hold me, kiss me, everything. I have had a fancy for Richard for a while now, but since this anxiety hit again, I haven’t been able to concentrate or think about Richard, I could only lay awake, having sleepless nights, stare into the depths of darkness while sat in meetings, or driving a car while were doing our challenges, it’s hopeless.
“Just keep being the wonderful man you are” I smiled genuinely this time, and Richard sensed that it was a genuine smile.
“That’s lovely of you, of course, I will do anything for you darling” He smiled rubbing my shoulder reassuringly.
“Come on then guys are we going to get on with this or not!” Jeremy shouted as he appeared with James from backstage.
“Yep, let’s get going!” Richard said, his gaze never leaving mine.
We walked through the news segment with no problem, we rehearsed the script again and again, and soon I began to feel like I felt this morning, only this time it came on worse. When we finished, we headed backstage for a break, when I suddenly felt my legs turn to jelly, my head felt light, and my breathing quickened. James and Jeremy had already walked off elsewhere, but Richard stayed with me thankfully. He suddenly realised what was happening and he caught me before I fell. My chest tightened, the world was spinning. Another panic attack. I thought I would never have to conquer these ever again, but the feeling all came back into one, frightening moment. I was soon aware I was having a panic attack, so I snapped my brain into gear and tried to control my breathing, following everything Richard was saying.
“Just breathe darling breathe slowly, like me” Richard imitated the breathing technique, and I followed with some difficulty.
He was walking me outside, and the cool air brushed over me, giving me a sense of relief, but my breathing was still rapid. Richard sat me on a chair and knelt in front of me, holding my hands.
“Sweetheart it’s okay, I’m here, just breathe” He repeated the breathing technique while he held my hands, and this time it was effective. The comfort and warmth from his hands radiated through me, and nearly in an instant, I was back to breathing normally. Tears rolled down my face, my hands quivered in his.
“Good girl” He said.
Out of sheer appreciation and the increasing demand for more comfort, I fell into his embrace. I wrapped my arms around him, and his arms wrapped around me, he rocked me backwards and forwards, stroking my hair and whispering in my ear.
“It’s okay, well done darling, well done” He said.
I held him tighter and longer, I had never felt such comfort, such affection.
“Thank you Richard” I whispered, pulling away.
“You’re very welcome dear” He smiled.
I pushed the hair in his eyes out of the way, and my fingers trailed through his silky soft, chestnut hair, as I revealed the beauty of his brown eyes, sparkling as I ran my fingers through his hair.
“Ah here it is, the beauty of the moment I’ve been waiting for” He said.
“What do you mean?” I giggled.
“The part where we look intensely into each other’s eyes and our faces move closer, so close I can feel your breath on my lips…”
“Carry on…” I said, lust-addled in his speech, lost in his eyes.
“Then I lean forward and grab the opportunity, take your lips and caress them with my own, eyes closed in pure bliss, feeling your precious, innocent lips on mine…” He trailed off in his own speech, thinking of that glorious moment himself, unable to contain his thoughts and feelings.
“I would be honoured to partake in that dream of mine right now if you wish?” His smile turning into a cheeky grin.
“Before that though…” I put my finger on his lips. “How long have you been dreaming of that?”
“Trust me Y/N, a very long time indeed…” He replied, eyes full of lust.
“You may proceed Mr Hammond” I said as his face came nearer to mine.
Our lips met with ease, it was described in his dream so wonderfully, but never did I know it would feel as wonderful as this. My stomach flipped a thousand times, my heart beat faster. His hands held my waist and pulled me closer onto his lap. Afterwards we pulled away, we couldn’t help but just stare into each other’s eyes, completely dumbfounded by how amazing the kiss was.
“I think we should head back inside before they wonder where we got to, don’t you think?” Richard said.
“Yeah I think we should” I giggled.
We stood up off the floor and brushed ourselves off, before walking through the back door, and back into the corridor. Richards hand then slowly grasped mine, our fingers interlocking, our hearts warming.
“How about dinner at my house my lovely?” He said as we walked, a charming smile upon his face.
“I would be honoured” I smiled back.