Chapter Text
The light had made my eyes squint when I had finally opened them, feeling more crusty and sealed then they ever had, more blurry then they ever had. It took mere seconds for me to begin to register what could only be described as searing pain; it rang through my head in pulses, my legs had an 'itchy warmth', one that came and left in heavy pangs whenever my heart weakly beat. My stomach felt like it went through the washing machine on a super heavy setting that doesn't exist.
What the fuck is going on?
It felt almost like I was waking up after a terrible hangover but mixed with the fact I was hit by a train, I didn't even want to attempt to move but against my better judgment...
When I tried I instantly regretted it. I felt that this was ridiculous honestly, I've-no, WE- have been through a lot of crazy stuff and I've been hurt many times before, I guess it was just never this bad.
Never this real.
When my eyes stopped being complete failures I looked around, instantly confused with what was around me.
I was in the hospital. I was lying in a hospital bed. There was stuff plugged into other stuff, stuff plugged into me, beeps ringing in my sore ears-at least they still worked-machines whirring and things I had maybe seen on the off-chance one of us changed the channel past that shit doctor drama show.
Sure, we were pretty accident prone, and 24 was pretty old for somebody living through the shit we go through, but I've never been laying in one of these beds.
We didn't really have the money to go here whenever one of us so much as coughed; in fact the only times I could remember one of us going here was when Todomatsu needed that random surgery...
It suddenly clicked that I had no idea where those guys were right now.
Shit, are they in here too?
I must be pretty drugged up or something, my brothers hadn't even crossed my mind until now.
Nothing really had.
...We were taking our dad's car to see the new department store that opened up-I had come along reluctantly, we had drove for about half an hour...I wasn't driving, Choromatsu was.
Come on, there was more...
I was sitting next to Jyushimatsu on one side...Osomatsu on the other...
And Karamatsu was...he was in the back...?
"Ah Mr. Matusno! You're awake." I shot up at the sound of a voice, a loud, annoying and too-peppy voice.
The nurse.
She was carrying a tray with stuff she probably wanted me to eat inside...my stomach was flip-flopping.
"I got you the chicken instead of the fish." She placed the tray on the table off to the side, the sound felt like it spit a crack in my head...
"You're brothers told me you like chicken more."
Those shitheads don't even know what I like...
'...Thank you.'
My voice sounds like shit.
"You're welcome."
Her smile probably gave me cavities...
She sat down on the seat near-by, pulling it forward a bit and skidding it on the floor. She took the lid off of the tray, the smell of chicken, rice and vegetables filled the room; the smell that would probably make me smile normally had made me nauseous.
She looked at me expectantly; she wanted me to eat.
"You should eat, keep your strength up."
I clicked my teeth, looking down at the food.
I'd rather just die like the trash I am then eat right now.
"I know you're probably really confused right now..."
She sounds sad.
"Your brothers will come in soon and tell you everything, they wanted to tell you themselves."
When I gulped all there was was dry air. My mouth was too dry for spit right now it seemed. I took a drink from the glass of water set down next to the food.
I cleared my throat.
Still gravelly.
'W-Was there an...accident?'
Her eyes widened for a moment, she saved face though and decided to smile sadly. She stood up, touching a hand to my sore shoulder.
I must really be drugged up, I barely felt her hand.
"You're brothers will come in and tell you everything, they're out in the waiting room right now..." She began to walk towards the door.
"You should eat."
I felt like saying something but I was too tired to argue.
"I'll go tell them you're awake. I'm sure they'll want to talk to you right away."
She looked at me with a shit-ton of sympathy.
Again with that damn smile.
"I'll be right back Karamatsu."
I glared at her as she left. She closed the door with a gentle 'click'.
Of course she gets my damn name wrong.
I shouldn't be offended, having the same stupid face as all those idiots it happens all the time-more times than any of us could count-but she had my chart in her hands, the least she could do was read the stupid thing.
I looked down at my food.
It's going to get cold...Choromatsu will make me eat it anyway.
It took a lot of strength on my part but I managed to choke it down.
It tasted...surprisingly better than expected. Although my stomach was still protesting...
I guess I feel a little better...
I was laying my head back in my bed, just about ready to slip off again, when I heard the door creak open.
When I looked up, I seen a familiar face peaking through and I felt relieved.
"NIII-SAAAAN!" Jyushimatsu came bouncing in, excited like a big puppy, tears streaming down his goofy face.
'J-Jyushimatsu!'
I didn't have time to brace myself for impact, his body crushing me in a hug, every bone in my body protesting to his weight but relief in my heart.
I returned the hug, too tired and too relieved he was okay to protest, even though his Jyushimatsu-ness was currently hurting me. A lot. I felt my eyes stinging and my chest hurt.
Thank god...
"Jyushimatsu, be careful!"
Sure enough, in came Choromatsu next, running after to scold Jyushimatsu's behaviour, although, his heart didn't seem all that much in it. He got him off of me, something I was a bit happy for since he tended to forget his own strength and I was still pretty sore.
Choromatsu looked terrible. His hair was messy and he had bags under his eyes-looking like he was crying- his left arm was likely broken and put in a sling.
Getting a better look at Jyushimatsu he didn't look so good either. He was bandaged up on the left side of his face, his eye covered in gauze, his arms seen in his t-shirt and wrapped up too. He had the same dark circles under his eyes.
I couldn't tell when he looked into my room...half his face was hidden.
Osomatsu came in after, walking next to Totty who gripped his hand like his life depended on it. Totty still had tears streaming down his face and Osomatsu looked exhausted.
Osomatsu was the worst looking so far; his right arm was in a cast, his hair looked like it stood up places with dried blood, he had a gauze patch on his cheek that looked like i bled through, he wasn't wearing a shirt and parts of his chest was wrapped up. His eyes looked bloodshot and as if they were cried-out.
Totty had bruises on his arms and legs, his neck in a weird grey-foam holder thing. His eyes had a stream of waterworks that ran down his cheeks, his nose was pink and his cheeks too. His shoulders were shaking, as if he held in his sobs, his body was wracked with small hiccups.
"Glad to see you're awake." Osomatsu smiled at me but it seemed almost lacking it's normal magic. He looked almost defeated.
Totty nodded, but didn't say anything. It seemed like he was a ladybug dying away from the dam breaking.
They all look like shit...
It was hard to see them like this...
Jyushimatsu hung onto my arm, digging his face into it as if hiding his face. I patted his head as I looked at everyone.
There was a cold silence as I looked towards the door.
The beeping of the machine went off periodically, the only sound in the whole room as nothing else was said.
I waited for our last brother to come through, stared at the door waiting for something painful, for something shitty, for something blinding and glittery.
Nothing.
I turned to Osomatsu, confused.
'Where's...Where's Shittymatsu?'
Osomatsu's eyes widened, his pupils looking like little dots like Choromatsu's. He stared at me with a shocked face and I didn't understand, and then his expression turned to a rage I've never seen on his face before in a matter of seconds.
"What the fuck did you just say...?"
All of my brothers whipped their heads up in fear, all starring at Osomatsu like he was a bomb at the 5 second marker. He quickly dropped Totty's hand, and I barely registered as he pulled his hand back, ready to smash my face into dust.
I shrunk back in my bed away from him, watching as Choromatsu used his only good arm and Totty held on with all his strength to restrain my oldest brother from killing me.
I was terrified.
"LET ME GO CHOROMATSU!"
"Osomatsu! OSOMATSU! He didn't mean it! He doesn't know!"
"Osomatsu please!"
I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as I watched Osomatsu look at me with more hate then I've ever seen him have for anything.
Jyushimatsu cried like we were five again into my shoulder, sounds that sounded like the sun itself was dying out and the world was lacking life.
"How DARE you call him that! What the fuck is WRONG with you Karamatsu!"
Karamatsu?
Osomatsu whipped Choromatsu and Totty off of him in one swing, tearing their arms away instantly. He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him in a flash.
I stared at the door in shock, watching it as if Osomatsu was going to come back in here and rip off my head.
Maybe I deserved to have my head ripped off...
I directed my eyes back to Jyushimatsu, who now looked at me with his big sad eyes, his arms gripping onto my arm.
"H-He didn't mean it Karamatsu Nii...He....He didn't mean it..."
I've never seen Jyushimatsu look this torn up before.
Choromatsu walked up on my other side, placing his hand on my shoulder. He was crying now too, which was something you never really seen coming from him. He never really did.
"Ichimatsu is g-gone Karamatsu..."
...what
I heard Totty start wailing, he fell to the floor and he seemed to become hysterical.
"There was an accident and Ichimatsu...he didn't make it. The doctors tried all they could but...he died Karamatsu."
My heart stopped inside my chest.
What the fuck is going on?
I got out of my bed, ripping out the wires from my arm despite my brother's protests. I wobbled to the room's bathroom, I felt dizzy and naesuous and-
I looked into the mirror in front of me, staring down my reflection.
I'm...I'M ICHIMATSU! I'm not dead!
Inside of the mirror was definitely one of the Matsuno sextuplets, but it was the little details that made me want to throw up.
I'm...
The one tiny freckle under my left eye...
The tiny scar on my face from when there was that incident when we were 14 and he tried to protect Todomatsu from that bully...
I was in Karamatsu's body.