Chapter Text
Tyler's POV
Today was different from all those other days I woke up to. I felt like a train without a track. Anxiety bubbled inside me like a cauldron, threatening to bubble over.
It was my first day of school. Yeah, you heard me right. Ive never been to school.
16 years old and still never been near a school. Pretty impressive and weird at the same time. That's because I've been homeschooled all my life because of myself. My body. I'm disabled. Born with life affecting birth defects. My legs are paralysed and yeah, I can't really do shit without having to ask my mom.
Want the peanut butter jar on the shelf I can't reach? Gotta ask my mom.
Want to go outside by myself but can't open the goddamn door? Gotta ask my mom. Can't get upstairs or downstairs? Gotta get mom's help.
The list goes on and on and it sounds shitty and pathetic because it probably is. I feel like a fucking burden to my poor mom. She has like 3 other kids to look after, a part time job and a role as my caregiver. It must fucking suck and I honestly don't blame her for having such a shitty life. You see, it would be easier on her but she doesn't have a husband anymore. After I passed my 1st year of life on this planet he sorta disappeared from our lives. My mom had a fight with him over my care. He didn't take care of me right and apparently muttered a lot of incoherent slurs, calling me the runt of the family, the burden of problems, the retarded spastic, the one who would surely put the family to shame.
My mom had enough of him one day after he drank one too many beers and tried to pull my IVs out (I was very vulnerable at the time, going through a shit ton of operations to try and restore me to being a normal human). My mom tried to stop him but then he abused her. Kicking her and shit and saying I deserved it and so did she for trying to save me. He ran out of the house and didn't come back again. As for my mom, she called an ambulance and managed to save me from the brink of death.
He occasionally calls time to time now to say hi to his favourite 'kiddos', catches up with news in the family and tries to persuade my mom to get back together with him, saying that he was wrong for his actions and he swore he would never do it again but my mom often got angry over this part of the phone call and threatens to block his number every time. As for me? I suppose I could forgive him. I'm still not sure though. Everyone makes me believe he is a sinner and he doesn't deserve me for what he did was apparently 'out of order and unacceptable behaviour' but as what people have told me before, sometimes it's good to clear up the bad, forget what has happened and give people a second chance.
Sometimes I see him in real life and he has definitely cleared up his act. He goes to church again, gave up on drinking and smoking and even has a stable job that pays the rent and bills. He is polite and well mannered and even keeps a good appearance. He always apologises to me when I see him too which seems stupid, but I can tell it means something. After almost killing your oldest child, calling them the cause of stupidity and then abusing your faithful wife under the effects of alcohol, I can tell he can never let go of these things and it sticks around with him like a bad nightmare or a nasty messaged sticky note superglued onto his back. I don't get to see him often because my mom is scared he'll fuck up again and hurt me but when I do, it's a golden chance to connect with him and catch up on things. It's sad I didn't grow up with a proper father but I'm happy I still see him...