Work Text:
“You do realize it’s one o’clock in the morning, right?”
Étienne looked up from where he knelt with a mixing bowl into the kitchen doorway where a very tired JJ stood. He looked like he had just woken up, with messy hair and a house coat thrown on sloppily. Étienne knew the scene looked bad: the entire kitchen island was covered in ingredients to make pancakes. Making it from the store-bought powder would be too quick, and what Étienne needed was something that took time. What he also needed was something to break the ice.
“More like ‘perfect time for pancakes’ o’clock.”
Nailed it.
Étienne forced a smile onto his face, hoping it would give the conversation a more comedic effect, that maybe he could get his older brother to forget that he was pissed and tired for a second. Instead, the lines at the the corners of his mouth hardened and JJ looked more done than before. It was a very maman kind of look, and Étienne felt laughter bubble up inside him thinking that maybe he wasn't a complete clone of their father.
That bubbly feeling turned into something tight in his chest. Instead of making some sort of comment to ease the situation (which he wasn’t good at to begin with, as proven seconds earlier), Étienne went back to his pancake-making quest. He had only just gotten started when JJ had come downstairs. Étienne had spent what felt like hours looking for all the ingredients he needed, and would bet anything that his brother had woken up to him swearing when he had flung the cabinet door closed too hard.
Étienne looked up from his mixing bowl of dry ingredients to JJ who was sitting down at one of the stools on the opposite side of the island. With just a quick look, it was easy to see how tired his brother was. It was hard to believe sometimes that Jean-Jacques had only turned eighteen a little over two months ago, with the bags under his eyes and his overall mature appearance. Étienne was taller than him, but it was the softness in his face that gave away his age. That didn’t exist for JJ, who was built like a figure skating powerhouse. Maybe it was the lack of sleep too that made him look older.
Suddenly Étienne felt bad about waking him up.
Étienne worked in silence for awhile, just setting up the ingredients and looking over the recipe he had found on his phone. JJ made no comments, but rested his head in his palm. He looked ready to fall asleep like that and there was an urge to keep him awake, but Étienne decided against that. Tired JJ was a mean JJ. It wasn't till he had gotten started on making a well in the centre of the powder that JJ spoke.
“Why are you even awake?” There was no sign of his earlier frustration. Instead, his voice sounded scratchy, and again Étienne felt guilty.
“Oh, you know.” He kept his voice light as he took the measuring cup of milk from the counter. “My neurotransmitters are fucking up their job and keeping me awake. Decided I was hungry and I wanted a good Canadian meal. I don't think we have peameal bacon, and I don't feel like checking, so I’m settling for pancakes.”
Étienne looked to JJ and was happy to see a soft smile on his face.
“You know you wouldn't be able to get away with this if maman and papa were home, right?”
Étienne smiled before turning to the fridge for the bag of milk. “I know, but they're in Ottawa right now. They don't ever have to know.”
JJ gave a snort and though his back was to him, Étienne could almost see that playful smile that would be on his brother’s face.
“You might not have to deal with them, but Rosie is upstairs and imagine how pissed she’ll be if you wake her up.”
Étienne drummed his fingers against the open fridge door. JJ had a point: their little sister was a nightmare to deal with when she was tired (just like him, but Étienne would never tell him that) and that was a hell he was willing to avoid at any costs.
“I’ll take my chances,” he said quickly, trying not to think about their sister. Still, his eyes involuntarily looked up to the ceiling where Rosalie would be sleeping. He tried to repress a shudder, but it was no use.
When Étienne turned back to JJ with more milk in his hands, that playful smile was there and he looked more awake.
“How about you,” Étienne said as he pinched the edge of the bag and poured the milk in. “Why are you awake at this godless hour.”
“Godless hour?”
“I’m dramatic and everyone knows God sleeps between 10pm and 6am like a healthy person does. We are not healthy people, apparently.”
The bad joke worked and JJ pressed his index finger to his mouth in a quiet laugh.
“I couldn’t sleep either. I heard you moving about so I decided to investigate.”
“I see. Came for the noise, stayed for the pancakes, eh?”
JJ laughed again. “That sounds about right.”
They fell silent again and Étienne continued his work on the pancake mix. He turned on the stove with the mix all ready to go when something came to mind.
“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Étienne turned around and leaned back against the counter. JJ shrugged. “There has to be a reason.”
Another shrug before a serious look crossed his face. “Je suis inquiet.”
I am worried. Even with a sleep-deprived mind and only seconds to process, Étienne knew immediately what his brother would be worrying about.
At the end of the month was Skate Canada International, which JJ had been assigned to for the second year in a row. Even if it took place in Alberta this year, it was still home territory, which gave him an advantage. Étienne felt a stab a jealousy run through him. Being born after July 1st meant he was still in the Juniors, and though he had made the National team, he wasn't representing. Nonetheless, he was relieved -- he knew what kind of strain that could bring
The Grand Prix Final season was to begin on October 23rd, which left little time for JJ. No wonder he couldn't sleep.
“Well, pancakes make everything better,” Étienne joked, turning back to the stove to get started on the first batch. It was close to two o’clock according to the stove clock and yet he wasn’t tired. “Even if it is temporary.”
“Not going to ask why?”
“No point, you're easy to read.”
There was a loud sigh from behind him. “Do you know who will be at Skate Canada this year?”
Étienne turned his head enough to see JJ picking at a piece of lint on his sleeve. He turned his attention back to the now-cooking batter. “No idea.”
“Representing Canada is two others from the team and me. Then you have three skaters from Japan, one being Yuuri Katsuki-”
Yuuri Katsuki was a familiar name. He was the top skater in Japan, but was always one step behind. Étienne had a poster of him in his room.
“-South Korea has two, with one of them being their best skater -- and the Korean team has slowly been getting stronger on top of that. Then one Russian representative, I think his name is Georgi? Either way, all of the skaters are good in their own rights. I don’t know why it’s affecting me more than usual. I’m the best on the Canadian team, I should be at ease!”
Étienne looked back to his brother again and was shocked at the amount of stress on his face. If there was only one good thing he could say about JJ, it was that he was confident. Yes, it was a huge flaw of his too, but it was always reassuring to see JJ take something on with vigor and zeal. Seeing him without that fire in his eyes, especially since he was talking about figure skating, was unnerving, and Étienne didn’t know what to say.
Would it be better to tease him as usual or just let JJ talk? Étienne settled for the latter and waited for more words.
JJ offered nothing but a strained sighed before raking his fingers through his hair. It might have been his imagination, but JJ’s breathing seemed to get more shaky. Étienne couldn’t stand the silence.
“You're right, you are the best,” Étienne said before turning his attention to the pancakes. He flipped the half-cooked batter before talking again. “You have a lot under your belt. You’re able to land high difficulty jumps because you get so much height on your jumps. You have amazing footwork, and your spins are really cool. I always enjoy myself watching your programs ‘cause it's obvious you have fun, yourself.”
“Oh my god, you're actually complimenting me?!” Étienne snorted at the comment; the genuine surprise in his voice was hilarious.
“Yeah, I am,” he teased, slipping the finished pancake onto a waiting plate before pouring more batter. “I know I can be a jerk, but I do love you.”
An exaggerated gasp came from JJ then. “You love me? Oh my god, the world is ending. What have you done to my Etti? My Steve? Etcetera, etcetera-”
He whirled around, smiling wide. “Watch it, Jean-Jacks, before I take it all back.”
JJ stiffened at the nickname and his face scrunched up. There was a quick beat before they were laughing at each other and their ridiculousness. JJ rose from his seat while Étienne still was gently laughing. He slipped another pancake onto the plate, ready to pour the batter for a third when JJ grabbed his arm to make him put the bowl down.
“What are y-” Étienne started, but was interrupted by a strong hug. He was barely taller than his older brother and still growing, but in that moment he felt so small. JJ pressed his face into his neck; he could feel him smile against his skin.
“Thank you.” The words were muffled, but it really wasn't hard for Étienne to decipher. He wrapped his arms around JJ in response and they stood there for what felt like ages.
“You know,” Étienne pressed his face into JJ’s head which made it a little hard to talk. “No matter what happens, I am going to be so proud to have such a cool older bro. Not everyone gets to skate on the international stage, and that fact that you've gotten this far is amazing.”
He could feel JJ shake and was ready to offer more consoling words, but he was beat to the point. A very familiar and sleepy voice spoke out from the other side of the kitchen.
“You’re the Canadian Hero of the Canadian People, our Viktor Nikiforov, and a dead man walking if you wake me up again.”
He could feel JJ stop shaking and tense up at Rosalie’s words. Étienne looked up to see his little sister where his brother had stood an hour previous. Her expression was similar to the one his dad, Alain would wear when Étienne would say something stupid: a mix of disappointment and disgust. It was hilarious seeing it on Rosalie’s face in that moment.
He was gentle in pulling away from JJ and quick to point to the small stack of pancakes. “You want to join us, my dear Rosie? Pancakes!”
She still stood there at the doorway with her firm stance, but her face softened enough to know Étienne had won.
“You’re an idiot.”
“And hungry! Let me continue to make this stuff and you two make the table. I didn't get the syrup yet so that’s your job, okay JJ? There's none in the fridge but there should be more in the pantry downstairs. Rosie, you get started on the table.”
Under normal circumstances they wouldn't take orders from Étienne, but these weren’t normal circumstances. JJ was quick to smile before heading for the basement. Rosie seemed ready to participate as she made her way to the plate cabinet. It wasn’t until he could hear JJ walking down the stairs that Étienne spoke.
“You know this is the first year that JJ has a chance to place on the GPF podium since his senior debut, right?”
Rosie gave him a confused looked before pulling plates down. “He’s gone to Finals before. He went last year to Fukuoka-”
“-And placed fourth,” he cut her off. “You're supposed to be the insightful one. Think.”
Rosie snorted. “I am, and I know that he's worried. It's easy to pick up on. The best thing to do is treat him like we normally do. Don't put pressure on him. Don’t stress yourself out, Etti, he’ll work things out on his own.”
Rosie left him there, confused as she began setting the table. She had a point though, and that was something he couldn’t ignore.
Everything was ready when JJ returned with the syrup, complaining that the pantry needed to be decluttered since there were “too many fucking useless things and I almost dropped a box of popcorn onto my head looking for the syrup”. There was so much energy at the table as they ate the pancakes despite it being so early in the morning. Rosie smiled and teased JJ for accidentally missing his mouth, and Étienne was quick to get her back when she basically did the same thing seconds later.
It was almost five in the morning when everything had been cleaned up and Étienne was back in bed. He stared up at the ceiling, enjoying the silence.
Silence was the reason he fought for the bedroom in the basement. His mind couldn’t rest when he thought about how the evening had begun. He couldn't stop thinking about how JJ had lost that composure he normally had. Étienne blew out his cheeks, reasoning that it was early in the morning and that JJ was just a bad person to deal with on little sleep. He wondered if Bella knew about the concerns her boyfriend had, if Alain and Nathalie knew that their son was scared.
He also wondered why the hell he was the one that JJ confided in.
Étienne turned onto his side and huffed.
“I’m his favourite brother,” he whispered to no one. “Of course he’d tell me.”
He smiled thinking how JJ would have snorted at that and retorted with, “you’re my only brother, imbécile”. Rosie would of course then join in on the teasing, and they'd all laugh in the end. It was nice to think of the scenario and how likely it was to happen.
His thoughts before he was finally able to sleep were about how everything was going to be alright.