Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Someone who did nothing wrong
[V's POV]
Everything happened so fast for V. One moment he was standing admist the crazed members of Mint Eye, the next he was pushed to the ground after a gunshot. He wasn't hurt though, he may be legally blind but he's stronger than that.
Then came Rika's ear-splitting scream. Ice cold panic was injected in his veins when a body slowly slumped next to him. There was only one person beside him when this whole commotion started, the new guest coordinator of RFA.
He groped around trying to find her hand. It was warm. like the person that she is but it was also wet.
"[MC]?" V called his voice shaken. He knew that substance that started clinging to their hands as it dried. Blood. He can almost smell it. "What happened... are you okay? Please... Please tell me you're okay"
"I'm... f-fine. A-are you okay...V?" Her voice was so weak that if he wasn't expecting it, he wouldn't be able to hear it.
How? How can she ask if he was okay when she was the one hurt. How stupendously selfless can she be? How can she risk her life for him... when clearly, she's the one whom he should be protecting, the one who should live on.
How can she carress his face as if touching something so pure, so important. He's not. She is. And yet, V had sullied her by letting her shield him from the bullet.
And all he can do was beg for help, scream for them to save her. V held her hand tightly as if it's enough to hold on to her beautiful soul so it won't leave them, leave him.
He felt hot tears stung his eyes. Somehow, it's more painful than when Rika tried to gouge them out.
V calls her name, again and again. He held her close never letting go of her hand. Even as his longtime friend Jumin came to save them, he never let go. He's afraid. Afraid that if he lost this last contact, she would just disappear on him.
V wanted to stay by her side. Had the doctor not pried him away from her, he would have stayed until he knows she's safe. Each second that passed felt like hours and every hour felt like an eternity. His heart almost leapt out of his chest when the doctor finally called for them to say she's been through the worst part of it.
He felt relief and exhaustion wash over him. He almost shed tears if it weren't for the fact that he had to go to her room.
The doctor said she's not awake yet, and that she had to fully rest before she can meet people, but he insisted that he wanted to be there. He needs to be there when she wakes up.
Trudging in the room with the cane he had, V slowly and gently held her hand and brought it to his face.
This was his fault. If only he had saved Rika from herself, she wouldn't have created Mint Eye. Saeran wouldn't be as crazy as he is right now. [MC] will not be harmed saving him.
The regrets he kept bottled up all these years flooded and manifested itself through the tears he kept on suppressing for a few days now. He kept on chanting apologies... to Yoosung, to Rika, to Jumin, to Luciel, to Saeran and most especially, he wanted to apologize to her.
To her, who had given her all to support and care for his patchwork family. To her who had risk her life to save not only his life, but also Saeran's. To her who, after all of the dangers RFA had put her still remained as gentle.
"[MC], please... forgive me" He said through undignified sobs. "I'm sorry..."
V kept chanting as if his continuous cries of apology will reverse all of his wrong doings. He knew it won't, but it's the least he can do right now.
He's lost his confidence in his judgements. If only, this angel before him will tell him what to do.
"I'll do anything... please... any thing at all..." He said while holding her hand to his lips.
"You don't need to do anything... V" a weak voice reached his ears.
V immediately looked up. He may not be able to see or he may not have the right to show her his face ever again but he can't help but turn to the direction of her voice.
"You're awake...Thank the gods... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry"
"There's nothing to forgive."
"B-but I- you were put in danger because of me"
"This is of my own choosing... I just thought that, you would be a bigger loss to the members of the RFA than I am. I'm the stranger here. The outsider. So no one would really cry over me. So don't say sorry"
Is that what she thinks she is? An outsider? It breaks his heart even more that she thinks this way. Everyone in the RFA loved her, in more ways than one.
"That's not true. You are as every bit as important. Don't you ever think that"
"You're still as kind even after everything that has happened. Thank you, V..." He can hear the smile in her voice.
Even after all that has happened, he still received gratitude that he's definitely not worthy of.
V heard the blankets rustling against each other and then a small:
"Ow~"
"Whatever it is you're doing... Don't force yourself too much. The doctor said you need to rest more"
"It's fine... I just... wanna see you."
V felt a gentle caress on his face. He cannot help himself but to lean in.
"I'm glad you're fine. It's definitely worth it. V... What's wrong?"
He must have frowned.
"Why aren't you mad at me? How can you still think that my life is more important, when clearly... I... almost took yours?"
She gave an almost despairing sigh.
"Why can't you understand? This is not your fault, nor Saeran's... I chose to be a part of RFA, I chose to help Saeyoung save Saeran. I chose to jump and shield you from that bullet. Taking all the blame is being arrogant, you know."
"But Rika- I was suppose to-"
"V"
He wince slightly when she flicked her finger on his forehead.
"Rika is not a child. She may have lost her way but she's not a child. Whatever she did, she did it thinking that it will help everyone, more so herself. Everyone in the RFA loves Rika, but she never saw it. she felt helpless about herself that she thought she needed to do something, to be validated, to be needed. And you V, love her the most, knew her the most. You need her and you want her to be happy, until you're blinded to the facts, to the pain. You were blinded by the sun because you've been looking at it for so long. If I may say, both of you just did what you think was right at that time. You both acted on your humanity that crave for the presence of others in there. That's what I did, too. I just protected what you gave me, V."
"What I gave you?" He was confused. As far as he's concerned, the only thing that he has given her were problems. A bomb-infused apartment, a kidnapping situation and a life-threatening gunshot wound.
"Yes, you welcomed me in the RFA. You gave them to me. And that's got to be the happiest 11 days of my life. It was so much fun that even if I had died by getting shot, I wouldn't have minded at all. You gave me the chance to interact with the members closely, I got to experience things I never knew I needed until I met them."
Her hold on his hand tightened considerably, like she was trying to convey the emotions through their simple hand holding.
"Zen and Yoosung are always worrying if I have eaten. Jaehee always reminds me not to overwork myself even as she does it herself. Jumin, he seemed to be stoic all the time but he has his moments of cuteness as well. He is the epitome of gap moe. And Saeyoung... he's been through so much yet he always looked out for my safety, always makes me laugh. I felt like I was someone important. I felt that I was needed. So rather than forgiving you... I'd want to thank you"
"You must really be an angel"
"I'm no such thing, V." She laughed softly.
"There must be something I can do to atone for the things I did, I know you said there's nothing to forgive, but I won't able to live with myself knowing I've done something grave. Tell me... please. Anything at all"
"If that's how you put it... Would you consider getting your eyes treated?"