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I could sit and watch him for hours.
There's a certain corner of the rec area that's virtually unnoticeable. It's a dark, cramped spot, out of the way and perfect for my favourite pastime.
I'm rarely seen, sitting here. Occasionally someone will call out 'Shan!' and I'll smile and nod and raise my glass in greeting, then turn to gaze back out the window at the stars streaking by - or so it seems to them.
I can see him clearly, reflected in this pane of glass. He likes that table over there, surrounded by friends and team-mates alike. There, he'll laugh and smile and be everything I long for, but can't have.
Instead, I watch.
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