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“Some people love like the summer rain here in America. This prospect fully terrifies me.” A completely drunk Newt said, from over his ridiculous fringe.
“The summer rain?”
“Yes. I comes from nowhere and just as it comes, it goes. After the world is just as warm and sunny as it was before, but you’re completely drenched.”
“What?”
“Yes! The problem is that I’m British. In England we have drizzle. It is almost constant, enough to make the whole world humid, but you hardly get wet from it. It may not be enough for many people. They often find me lacking in this regard.”
“So, mister Scamander… Do you consider yourself soaked already?”
“Oh Tina, I’m drowning. I’m drowning.”
If you ask Tina, she will not be able to tell you exactly why they were fighting about. Not really. She can tell you that Newt was growing distant in the last months, that they were talking less and less until that day in which she had to put herself in his way to get him really looking at her. She can tell you about how she didn’t really know when the last time they had sex or really kissed each other was. She can tell you about how their son was growing quieter at each passing day, asking for his father that was not really present anymore. She can’t tell you the exact moment her world started to fall apart, but she can assure it was somewhere between Newt getting his new position at the Ministry and that strange trip he had to made to Africa to ‘it’s a small but urgent matter, I shall come back in a few weeks’. That trip was still a sore point in her mind, because she didn’t understand at the time why she wasn’t allowed to go with him and why he had to go in the first place. One thing, however, Tina can tell you for certain: when she reached her breaking point, when she forcibly stood in Newt’s path and obligated him to confront her, when she said that ‘It isn’t working anymore. I can’t go on like this. Our son can’t go on like this’ she wasn’t expecting him to just lower his eyes, take a deep breath like he knew that was coming and assuring her that he would leave immediately. She also wasn’t expecting him to grab his case and be out of the door and out of her life in less than five minutes. She never imagined any type of scenario in which he would be fully prepared to leave, like he was indeed intending to do so. She never thought that their relationship and family meant so little to him that he’d rather leave the house than to try to talk to her.
When Tina was still a kid, her parents died and her heart broke for the first time. It broke again when she saw the Barebone boy beaten by his adopted mother. It broke again when she saw the boy daying, and again in the same day when she saw the sister she loved more than anything in the world losing her no-maj would-be-lover, who just forgot her and walked out on the rain like she didn’t exist. She didn’t know there was anything left to break until she saw her husband walking away like none of them mattered. The thing is, she would never be able to tell anyone that it would break again and again over that fight.
After that day, she didn’t see Newt again for almost two months. She tried to contact his brother, but Theseus just informed her that Newt couldn’t talk to her at the moment, and really, neither could him. Having no other family or friends to ask about Newt, Tina spent many hours with Queenie, reviewing all of their conversations, trying to figure out if Newt’s affections were even real, in the first place.
“He loves you Tina. I’m certain of that.”
“Then why he left? Why he vanished into thin air?”
Queenie never answered that question, and so life went on. With their son crying for his dad every night and Tina’s heart breaking in smaller and smaller pieces.
Two months after, Newt came to her door. He was well dressed (better than she has seen him in the last years, to be truthful), well rested and even his hair appeared more kept. He was, however, deeply uncomfortable in her presence and didn’t met her eyes during his stuttered request to take his son to the park.
“I just… I miss him. You can come along if you want.”
She didn’t really want to, but in despite of her wishes, she really wanted her four-year-old son to spend time with his father and could not deny it to the man himself. She nodded, readied her precious boy and left the apartment behind, watching the two talking some five steps ahead of her. That day, just as every day after that Newt has come to visit, the wizard would have only full smiles and delighted laugh for the kid and world in general. But for Tina… For her he had only small smiles that never reached his eyes and awkward glances. She couldn’t keep herself from noticing, however, that Newt appeared to be taking better care of himself as time went by. His hair was always cut to perfection, his clothes always clean and aligned. His color and general building were stronger than she has ever seen him. Like leaving her behind was some kind of cure his body and mind desperately needed. Like now he was finally healthy.
Things didn’t improve when Newt appeared at the Ministry accompanied by the most beautiful woman Tina has ever seen. Things only got worse as her friends related to her just how intimate they were.
“Every three hours or so she will get him something to eat. He just eats whatever she gives him.”
Tina passed many hours each day fretting over the fact that Newt tented to forget to eat when he was working. She never succeeded in nourishing him correctly.
“Yesterday she said he was working too much, that they should take a break and have a walk at the park. He just left everything behind and followed her.
Tina never got Newt to stop working when he was concentrated in something. Only when he was almost collapsing she would have any success in getting him into bed for a few hours of sleep.
“I entered his office this afternoon and she was over his chair, rubbing his shoulders.”
It took many months of letters and awkward glances for Newt to not tense when she touched him.
Queenie’s comments weren’t any better.
“I don’t know, Teenie. She has very strong shields, like there is something to be hidden. And you know Newt is a natural at Occlumency. I’ve only ever got snaps of his thoughts, and only when he was hurting deeply or half asleep.”
She asked Newt once, just once, if he’d rather divorce her, so he could get on with his life. He responded that by hesitantly giving her the already signed papers.
“You can proceed when it is convenient. You will keep the house and of course I’ll afford anything you need. Just… Just let me know if you need anything.”
Tina’s only reaction was to take the papers from him.
“Can I… Would you mind… The ring…”
Tina’s wedding ring was worthy a fortune, both in the magical and the no-maj world – it was also Newt’s only heritage from the Scamander family. She recognized his right over the object: it wasn’t hers, it was destined for the finger of Newt’s wife. The recognition, however, didn’t prevented her to heedlessly taking the ring from her finger and throwing it at Newt’s general direction. That day she felt nothing besides the anger. She was certain her heart had broken finally in so tiny pieces that it has become sand. You can punch or kick sand, but will never manage to damage it.
She didn’t sign the papers, and refused to talk to Newt afterwards. The next time he came she didn’t answer the door. She ignored every letter he sent, every attempt of contact, until the day that he left her alone.
One day, almost two weeks later, she was unable to ignore her door’s coming down. It wasn’t the Scamander she was expecting, however.
“He has a right to see his son!” Theseus yelled as soon as he saw her wide eyes.
“Tell him to contact Queenie and arrange a meeting. I’ve nothing more to discuss to him. Please set the door before you leave.”
“What happened to you Tina? I thought you loved him.”
“Yeah, I had similar thoughts once. Funny thing how wrong one can be about it, don’t you think?”
Theseus left that day without repairing the door. He came back the next day to take his nephew for a visit.
“Hey Snitch! Come on, your father has just gotten a winged horse in his case! You will love it!” Theseus said, while getting the boy’s pack from Queenie. “I will bring him back tomorrow night, I promise.”
“Theseus was worried about Newt.” Queenie commented, after the two boys were gone.
“Of course he was. It is what older siblings do.” Tina answered, already missing her little boy.
“I don’t think it is the case.” Queenie murmured, but decided to let it be.
Theseus would come every other week to take the boy, but the visits were getting shorter and shorter, until the point in which Tina and Theseus heard from the boy’s mouth that he ‘just don’t wanna go anymore.’ Tina’s heart was so thin already that there was nothing left to break, but if there was something left she was certain that would be the most devastating blow in wizard and no-maj history. If the crestfallen look on Theseus’s face was any indication, Tina was correct.
“Snitch! Come on… Your father really…”
“No Uncle Seus. I wanna stay here with mom. Don’t like that place. Don’t want to see dad anymore.”
“Snitch…”
But then the boy started to cry and Tina was too worried about her son to notice Queenie leading Theseus to the door. She also didn’t get their conversation.
“What will I tell Newt? How will he be able to keep going at this rate?”
“Theseus, you need to tell me what is happening. What is… Oh!”
It was many hours later that Queenie would seat Tina down to talk to her.
“Teenie. I know you are hurt and I know you don’t want to hear what I have to say, but you need to. I think this whole situation is just a very big misunderstanding and you have to solve it right now, or it will be too late.”
“Queenie, I don’t have the heart for it now! Just say what you want to say!”
“Tina… You know that park Snitch talks about when he comes back? It is not a park, it is the backyard of an asylum. Newt has suffered a mental breakdown and has been interned for almost one month. Theseus seems to think that you put Newt out of your home in the exact moment he needed you more. That you asked for a divorce. And when you stopped talking to him, allowing him to be part of Snitch’s life he just… Stopped along, I think.”
Tina was quiet for many minutes, until she reluctantly asked what did Queenie mean by stopped.
“He stopped eating, bathing, talking. He just, stopped.”
Tina remembered all those times in which Newt would appear at her door, well rested and groomed as she has never seen before. Certainly he was better without her, without them?
Queenie sighed. She slowly got up and took a Pensieve from the shelves on the living room. She put the object in front of Tina, took her wand in hand and pulled a thin silver line from her own head. The image was very blurry and didn’t have too much logic, as happens to all thoughts but mainly with second hand’s thoughts, but Tina could clearly see Newt’s face, brokenly looking into an empty space.
“Whose memories are these?” Tina asked.
“Theseus.” Queenie answered, looking sadly into the Pensieve.
“Newt… You can’t surrender now… You need to be strong for Snitch or…”
“Being strong is your fate Theseus, not mine.”
“Newt… If you try just a little bit harder, for just a little bit longer…”
“Theseus… Look at me! I’ve cut my hair, I’ve changed my clothes. I’ve even contracted a bloody nurse who is constantly telling me what I need to do to just keep living! I’ve tried! I tried to appear strong, I tried to appear happy for my son’s sake! I’ve tried to give my wife, my ex-wife, the life she deserves! I’ve tried to keep my job so I could fulfill my promise to take care of them. I’ve tried to keep at least one of them loving me. As you can see I’ve failed in everything so far. So please do tell me what do you think I need to try now, so I can fail once again and finally make you give up on me.”
“Newt…”
“It is okay Theseus, you can leave. I’ve lost so much already that I will barely notice if you are also gone.”
The memory dissipated into the Pensieve.
“He was declared incapable of taking care of his creatures the next day and had then taken from him. When Theseus got to him he was already broken inside. He has been in the asylum since.” Queniee murmured.
When the blond witch lifted her eyes it was to see Tina gasp, put her hand over her mouth and then to sob uncontrollably. Queenie hold her sister throw the night, telling her the other details she gathered from Theseus mind.
The next day, Queenie took her sister and nephew to visit her brother-in-law. She kept her nephew entertained and impeded Theseus to interfere, saying the two of them needed to talk.
When Tina was finally left alone with her husband, she could barely recognize him, seated in a small chair in the garden. He wasn’t only thin and pale, but also hollow somehow. He seemed to recognize her, however.
“Tina…”
She wanted to say that she didn’t know he was acting so distant in the end of their marriage because he was burdened by his obligations and didn’t want to bother her with the horrors he saw every day in his job and so even more at Africa. She wanted to tell him that she never meant that he should go away that day, so many months ago. She never thought he would think that she didn’t love him anymore and that she was sorry for doubting his love for her. She wanted to say that she didn’t sign the divorce papers and that she still loved him and wanted to try again. She wanted to say that everything was going to be alright and that it didn’t matter if he had to sell the ring to finish paying for the apartment she was living when he lost his job. She wanted to ask him to come home with her. To assure him that he would recover and they would get his case and creature back. She wanted to drop at his feet and implore his forgiveness. She did neither. She was frozen under his bloodshot gaze.
“I’m drowning, Tina.”
“I am too.” She replied.
When she indeed dropped on his feet and embraced his waist, sobbing on his lap, he shifted until he was seated with her on the grass, each half on the other’s lap, crying on each other’s shoulder. A few hours later, when Tina has finally calmed enough and Newt had cried himself to sleep at her lap, she noticed that at some point it started to rain, but the rain itself was already gone. She caressed her husband’s soaked hair and started to laugh. Things were very far from being okay, but somehow, she thought that they may be, one day. For the moment, it was enough.