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The first thought that comes to Tony’s mind when his eyes open, rapidly darting beneath the darkness as they adjust slowly to the dimmed lighting, is what a marvel it is that he is lying beside someone for more than a just few romps under the sheets.
It’s his first month with James Rhodes. Together. Officially .
It’s a thought that hasn’t crossed him often, and he certainly hasn’t been thinking about it actively. But somehow, in his first moments awake, this fact is the first thing that rises from the dredges of his mind, tracking its implications all over the insides of Tony’s head.
One month with Rhodey .
One month is such a short time. But a whole thirty one days of being together with Rhodey somehow feels like a special occasion. Tony ought not to get too ahead of himself — a month is hardly anything to be proud of. When they’re on their first anniversary, then he should celebrate. After all, they’ve spent so many years together but not quite together . More than thirty years, in fact. He’s not sure how he survived that long without Rhodey at his side.
Not that Rhodey is there as often as he used to be now, anyway. When they were younger and at university together, the older boy was a constant presence at Tony’s side. Now, with Rhodey in the army? They’re lucky if they can get a single week together in one long break like they have now.
And in that sense, one month really is incredibly short for Tony and Rhodey. The two of them have barely seen each other this July, with Rhodey romping through South Carolina for nineteen of those thirty one days.
Tony has spent those twelve days without Rhodey alternatively working, then inhaling caffeine, and then pining. It’s such a pathetic word, or at least Tony used to think so. Pining , ridiculous! It wasn’t as if a little bit of separation was such an awful thing. For God’s sake, he and Pepper were more often on opposite ends of the States than not.
But something about it with Rhodey is different. Tony knew what he was getting into when he and James agreed to this — he just hadn’t expected it. There was instantly a new meaning of the word to Tony, beyond simple snobbishness, because for the first time he was actually experiencing it. Pining. For James Rhodes.
Tony hates to admit it, but he’s spent most of his twelve days thinking about Rhodey and when he would be back. And even in his lab, when he was working away at new prototypes and schematics, Rhodey was always in the back of his mind. A constant presence that wouldn’t leave.
This “pining”, as Tony finally shamefully admitted it was, only dulled partially when Rhodey finally returned from the hellhole that southern Carolina was. He still hasn’t stopped thinking about Rhodey, just because the man is in the room with him. Tony’s mind is a constant whirring of this and that , and recently he’s found that Rhodey is both a “this” and a “that”. It’s incredible, how quickly Tony’s zoned in on Rhodey and made him the centre of his world. And sometimes, Tony’s so full of love that he thinks he might burst. He can barely eat, much less sleep.
And now is one of those moments, one in which he’s lost any hope of falling back into the light doze he was indulging in just minutes before.
Instead, Tony finds himself staring at the smooth slopes of Rhodey’s back. He brushes a hand against it, just to make sure Rhodey is really, truly there — and he is, cool dark skin and all. Tony can see him perfectly in the dimmed light, because Tony has never slept in complete darkness since the day that he had flown with that missile into the void. In fact, he’s installed adjustable lights into the lower walls of the room’s perimeter, never content to leave it be. JARVIS changes these lights at his beck and call, and Rhodey never complains about the lack of darkness even if Tony knows it can easily jar Rhodey, who is ever the light sleeper. But still, not even a single comment other than the remark of “nice renovations,” when Rhodey stepped into Tony’s Malibu home for the first time after the battle of New York. But nothing else. Rhodey is wonderful like that.
Tony is glad for it, because he never has to look twice to know exactly who it is beside him in bed. Rhodey’s muscles ripple under the low glow of the room, a movement so singular, so rich and handsome like Rhodey himself, as the man stretches his back out under Tony’s careful touch. Without thinking, Tony begins pressing soft kisses against Rhodey’s upper back, down the ridges of his spine.
“It’s not morning yet,” complains his lover, arching under the light caresses of Tony’s lips as he stretches his arms above his head. It makes it harder for Tony to aim his kisses right, and he makes his complaint known with a low whine. Rhodey compliantly lowers back into his previous position.
“What’re you doing up?” he says instead, settling for humming quietly as Tony continues to lay his lips on the gentle slopes of his lover’s back. “It’s early.”
Rhodey is aware, somehow. It’s ingrained in him, perhaps through training. He always knows exactly when it is, down to the quarter of an hour and to a mechanical precision — whereas Tony will resurface from his lab, wide-eyed and frizzly-haired, with no sense of how much time has passed or what day it even is.
“I have no regular hours, honey bear. I thought you knew that by now.”
Rhodey groans, all too knowingly, and slumps into a more comfortable sleeping posture. Tony acquiesces after a minute or so, retreating back to his own side of the bed. He rolls onto his back, then onto his stomach. But sleep won’t come to him.
He substitutes sleep with muddled thoughts of the work tomorrow will bring, what meetings he’ll have to show up to, and what he can make for Rhodey for breakfast. Since his lover is back for a week from the military, Tony will have to make the best of it before duty calls. So he’ll do all the cooking, of course; it’s only appropriate. And Tony isn’t as horrendous in the kitchen as so many people assume he is.
Rhodey likes pancakes. He particularly likes Steve’s blueberry pancakes, this Tony knows from having his boyfriend over when he has Avengers business in New York. But Rhodey has always been more comfortable at Malibu, and so is Tony. The fresh ocean breeze will make up easily for whatever mojo it is that Steve puts into his batter. And Tony always has plenty of blueberries in the refrigerator, it’s a bit of an addiction. Will they be fresh enough for Rhodey, though?
“I can hear you thinking from over there,” mumbles Rhodey. He’s groggy, syllables melting into slurs. But he’s right there, and then he’s suddenly draped over Tony, an arm over Tony’s hip and a leg tucked between Tony’s own two legs. “Stop it. Makin’ me anxious.”
“You call yourself an MIT engineer?” grumbles Tony, shoving an arm up between their chests to flick his finger at Rhodey’s forehead. “Put off by a little bit of thinking . The horror. Hand over all your undeserved MIT apparel to me now or suffer the consequences.”
The older man’s brow creases slightly at Tony’s assault, but eases immediately back into pleasant relaxation as he nestles his head against the space between Tony’s shoulder and their shared pillow. There is no response to Tony’s rambling but the slow, steady inhales and exhales of Rhodey’s undisturbed breathing. Tony pokes him on both cheeks, then prods him firmly in the side for a reaction, but it seems Rhodey is intent on escaping tonight. Ah, well. Tony will bother him in the morning.
Tony reaches up and claps once, quietly. JARVIS fades the lights from their dim glow to an all-too-sudden enveloping blackness. With anyone else, perhaps even Pepper, the deep gloom might have felt too familiar, too endless, for comfort. But Tony finds that he feels at home with Rhodey here. For a moment, he’s afraid of the connotations of that — the possibilities of feeling too attached to Rhodey and finding the man someday gone, like all the others — but then he reminds himself. This is James Rhodes . Rhodey will not abandon him. Of all people, the man was the one who stayed by Tony’s side even in his bratty college days.
Rhodey will always be there. That, Tony is sure of. To think anything else feels wrong, and like a cruel slight against Rhodey. The man is loyal, and… Tony is sure of this now as well, Rhodey loves him. And he loves Rhodey, too.
“Love ya, Rhodey baby,” he finds himself saying to the dark of the still room.
“Go to sleep,” grumbles the emptiness back at him.
Tony grins lopsidedly and, without a moment more of hesitation, ducks under the sheets to join in the drowsy warmth of his lover’s arms.
That night, the darkness is only a second comfort to the hot, silent brush of Rhodey’s breathing against his neck. And Tony thinks, he might just be able to get used to this.
“Happy one month anniversary,” he whispers, voice muffled against the top of Rhodey’s head.
There’s no reply, not vocally anyway. But he swears he feels the curve of Rhodey’s lips against his shoulder, and that’s exactly how Tony falls asleep again, too.
With a smile on his face.