Work Text:
Setting: Middle of S6E11. Regina and Emma are waiting for Pinocchio to finish carving the wardrobe, and he offers them a place to stay overnight.
“Sorry there isn’t more room. I don’t usually have visitors.” Pinocchio pushes the two chairs to the edge of the tiny sitting room as he and Emma make up a cot next to the hearth. Truthfully there is barely room for it, but Emma supposes it’s better than trying to sleep while freezing out in the forest. Regina isn’t entirely sure she wouldn’t be better off just staying up all night, but it had been a long day, so she acquiesces to the idea of sharing the cot with Emma.
“Don’t worry about it. You’re saving our butts by carving that wardrobe, and we’ll be fine.” Emma gives her old friend a quick hug and bids him goodnight. She stokes up the fire, using a little burst of magic to keep it going, and settles onto the cot. Regina climbs in next to her, and Emma pulls her cloak over them both. Lying on their backs, their shoulders touching where the cot sags into the center, both women stare up at the ceiling willing themselves to relax and fall asleep.
Regina shifts around a couple of times, trying to get comfortable. It has been a long day, starting with confronting the damn Evil Queen back in Storybrooke, and ending with coming face to face with Robin. Well, a version of him, anyway. And now she is on a tiny cot in Pinocchio’s sitting room, trying not to touch Emma Swan. If the room were bigger, she could just magic them up better sleeping arrangements, but the edges of the cot brushed the walls on two sides and the hearth on a third as it is.
She sighs and twists onto her left side a little more vigorously than she’d meant to. At the same moment, Emma rolls onto her right side, and Regina’s hand hits her squarely in the jaw.
“Ow!”
“Emma! Are you OK? I’m so sorry.”
Emma laughs, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”
They settle back in, Regina rolling onto her right side once more. Her thoughts drift to this maddening place they’re in, wondering why Robin is here at all. He had nothing to do with Emma being or not being the Savior. If she’d just left well enough alone, they could be back home by now. Again, she tosses over onto her other side, this time coming directly into contact with Emma’s elbow, which she was raising to pull the hair out of her face.
They both sit up, nursing their wounds. Emma sighs. “This is ridiculous. Just come over here, and let me spoon you,” She lays back down with the cloak held up, indicating to Regina that she should join her.
Regina raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Spoon me?”
Emma huffs and replies, “I know you know what that is, so lie back down and let me put my arm around you. It’s the only way either of us is going to get any sleep tonight, so don’t try and argue with me.”
Regina is dubious, but sees Emma’s point, so lies down with her back to her friend, as Emma settles her arm around her waist. It’s surprisingly comfortable like this, and she feels her muscles begin to relax, and hears both their breathing start to even out.
After a few moments like this, she feels Emma take in a breath, and then say into Regina’s hair, “was it hard to see Robin today?”
Regina tenses up instinctively, and wills her heart to stop beating so fast. “Unimaginably hard,” she replies sadly, the question taking her right back into her spiraling feelings of loss and sadness.
Emma is quiet for a second. “I’m sorry,” she says in a small voice.
Regina looks over her shoulder. “It’s not your fault, Emma.”
“I know,” she responds. “It’s just … I’m still sorry.”
Regina turns away from her again. “I know. Thanks.”
After a few more second of silence, Regina continues, “I just can’t help wondering if he was better off without me.”
“What?” snaps Emma, suddenly very awake.
“Robin,” Regina replies, turning her head over her shoulder to look at Emma again. “Look at him! He’s alive, he’s happy! And all because in this reality, he’d never met me.”
Emma glares at her. “Regina, that’s ridiculous. First of all, you have no idea what his life is like here. He could be miserable. And second of all, he never met you here because, well, you never really were here. The Evil Queen was, but you, Regina, you never would have crossed his path. It’s not like he was happier without you – he never got a chance to find out.”
Regina sighs, “I suppose that’s true. I just, I can’t help feeling guilty that he’s gone and I’m still here. And I just… God, Emma, sometimes I wish it had been me.” She hadn’t said that out loud before, but as soon as she does, she realizes that was the core of what had been bothering her for a while.
Emma nods sadly. “I understand. It’s not true, it shouldn’t have been you, but I understand.”
“You do?” Regina turns so she is on her back now, looking over at Emma, who still has her arm around her waist.
“Yes. You think after how many people I’ve lost in my life, I wouldn’t know what it’s like? I’ve been there, Regina, I know how it feels.”
There’s a beat, and Regina looks away. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly, turning away again.
“No, no, Regina, that’s not what I meant. I’m telling you that I understand how you feel, not blaming you for anything I’ve been through. We’ve talked about this! The thing about the guilt is it’s not true. Robin sacrificed himself for you, willingly. It wasn’t some accident, and it’s not like there’s anything you could have done to change it. He loved you, Regina. He loved you enough to value your life over even his own. And that kind of love, well, it’s worth it.”
Regina sighs, knowing Emma is right, but unable to let go of her pain quite so easily. “Yeah, I know. I just … I miss him, all the time.” At that she finally begins to cry, quietly.
Emma notices and holds her a little bit tighter. She breathes into her ear, “I know. I know it’s hard.”
Regina continues, becoming more and more upset, “It’s that for once, I found someone who loved me, who chose me, and then he got taken away from me. Again! Now I’m alone. Again!”
Emma reaches over to her tear-stained cheek and gently pulls so that Regina is facing her. “Regina, you’re not alone. I choose you, too.”
Regina laughs mirthlessly. “No, Miss Swan. You realized you were stuck with me and you got used to the idea.”
Emma smiles at that. “Maybe that’s how it was in the beginning. But, Regina, you and I have so much in common. Much more than just Henry. And I’ve come to rely on you. I’ve trusted my life to you, many times. And I care about you. I’m so glad you’re part of my family, you’re my best friend, even. Regina, I love you.”
Regina stops crying and looks up at her. “You do?”
“Yes. Obviously not the same way I love Hook, or my parents, but Regina, I love you. And I wouldn’t trade what we all have as a family for anything. Really.”
Regina thinks about this for a minute, searching Emma’s face. Finally trusting her words, she says softly, “that’s … nice to know.”
Emma smiles down at her, and tenderly strokes a strand of hair off her face. Impulsively, she leans down and places a kiss on Regina’s forehead. When she hears Regina sigh, Emma moves down and kisses her again, on the cheek this time. And then without even thinking, she leans in and kisses her chastely and sweetly on the lips.
As if realizing what she’s just done, she pulls away and moves to sit up. “Oh God, Regina, I’m so sorry!”
“No!” Regina catches her arms and pulls her back down beside her. “No, don’t apologize. It was very … comforting.” She smiles up at her friend.
Emma leans over and kisses her one more time before settling back onto the cot. “I’m glad. Now we really should try to get some sleep.”
Regina nods, and they shift back into their original positions, with Emma’s arm holding Regina to her. Regina says, so quietly she’s not sure Emma will hear it, “I love you, too, Emma.” Emma squeezes her a little bit closer. She heard.