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James hated kids. This was a well-known fact amongst his small circle of friends, and they all knew better than to inflict the torture that was children. This might not have been the greatest trait for a someone who worked as a teacher, but James much preferred the rowdy teens of high school than caring for wailing toddlers in some elementary. He was always terrified of making them cry, and they were just so messy. Always covered in snot, or tears, or glue, or some other strange substance that came from their classroom activities.
And yet here he was now, with two seven-year-olds peering curiously into his living room as Dolley shot him an apologetic look.
“There’s no one else that could take care of them?” James asked, trying - and failing - to keep the desperate tone out of his voice.
“I’ve tried everyone,” Dolley replied, looking sheepish. “I’m sorry, I know you hate this, but you’re the only person they won’t mess about with.”
James sighed. He understood Dolley’s struggle, he really did. Her kids, John Payne Todd Jr (known as Junior) and Julia Payne Todd, hated strangers, and Dolley’s few attempts at hiring a babysitter or dropping them off at a friends’ house had always ended disastrously for all parties involved. Payne and Julia would wreak havoc in retaliation with being left with strangers, the babysitters would never return, and Dolley couldn’t look her friends in the eye again after the mess. James was the only one they were familiar with, and i showed by their reluctance to mess around with him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured her. The creases in Dolley’s forehead smoothed out slightly. “When do you think you’ll be back?”
“Um, in four or five hours, I think,” Dolley said, relieved. “Thank you so so so much, Jemmy, you’re a lifesaver!”
“Yeah, yeah,” James grumbled good-naturedly. “Have fun at your interview.”
Dolley gave him a tight hug with a strength that did not appear to (match) her slight frame. James hugged back, despite not being the biggest fan of PDA. Dolley had an eight year history with James, and there was a special bond in their friendship. Neither of them had seen each other in months, and yet he still felt like they were as close as ever. Neither distance nor time seemed to affect their relationship, and James was unbelievably glad that he had her in his life. And if showing his gratitude meant hugging her back, then he would let her tightly coiled curls tickle his face all day.
And with that, Dolley was hurrying down the path, waving over her shoulder and leaving him with two terrifyingly delicate-looking children who were now examining a paperweight James had left on the sofa. James was ready to give up already, and the five hour countdown hadn’t even begun.
Just as James was about to walk into the house and find something to distract Junior and Julia from doing something they shouldn’t, like creasing the corner of his favourite book, which Julia looked she was seconds away from doing, he heard a familiar voice.
“So, Jemmy, huh?”
James turned to see Thomas smirking at his own door. He was in a black hoodie that was simple and casual and yet looked so damn good on his body. How did he do that? Thomas could probably wear a lumpy trash bag and still look ready to walk the runway.
“You could at least pretend you’re ashamed of eavesdropping,” James replied, but the corner of his lips quirked up against his will. Thomas’ smirk only grew.
“Your friend has a pretty loud voice,” Thomas said, as though that explained everything. “I’m guessing you don’t like babysitting? You didn’t sound thrilled.”
James sighed. He had just opened his mouth to reply when he heard a loud ‘crash’ from inside the house. Shit, it had only been a few minutes and he had already forgotten to supervise them. Mind reeling with all of the worst possibilities, James ran inside the house, completely forgetting to respond and only vaguely processing the “let me know if you need help!” that was called after him.
The noise had come from the kitchen, where Junior and Julia were standing next to an upended pot of pasta sauce. It had splattered everywhere, painting the floor and walls in red like a low-budget horror movie. Both the twins had sauce all over their clothes, and James was already dreading having to explain it to Dolley when she got back.
“Sorry, Uncle Jemmy,” Junior said sheepishly. “I just wanted to see what smelt so good.”
“He didn’t mean to,” Julia added.
“That’s fine,” James sighed. “Let’s get you guys changed into the spare pyjamas.”
The words had barely left his mouth before the two children were speeding past him and sprinting up the stairs. The spare pyjamas always meant that they were about to watch a movie and eat popcorn, as per their tradition, and it appeared that neither Junior nor Julia had realised that they were only changing because they had ruined their clothes. Still, now he had to get out the popcorn, or they’d pull puppy-faces at him all day. James just barely suppressed another sigh.
It looked like it was going to be a long day.
By the time the mess had been cleaned, the twins were sprawled across the floor of the living room in their pyjamas, utterly transfixed by the movie. Julia was so entranced that the popcorn aiming for my mouth would often miss and fall to the floor. Meanwhile, Junior had completely forgone the popcorn and was sucking his thumb absent-mindedly. It was, although James loathed to say it, rather cute. He may not ever have children - or even want them - but he could admit that they had their moments.
The movie was coming to an end soon, and James decided to take a break while he still had the chance. But the moment he relaxed into the pillowy warmth of the sofa, the doorbell rang. With a frustrated huff, he stood again, and made his way to open the door.
“Thomas?”
Thomas grinned, bright and unabashed. He was holding a teacup in his hand, and he thrust it towards James. “Mind if I borrow some sugar? I ran out.”
“Uh, sure,” James said, taking the cup. He could have sworn he saw Thomas unloading his groceries just two days ago (okay, he knows he saw because he had been admiring his body the entire time). But he brushed the thought aside, and made his way to the kitchen.
By the time he returned to the door, with a cup full of sugar, Thomas was leaning into the doorway and having a full conversation with the twins, who, most shockingly of all, were being nice.
“-And then she saves all of China!” Julia finished excitedly. “And the big captain man comes to her house and they get married and live happily ever after.”
“It’s really cool,” Junior added, not looking up from the screen.
“That sounds great,” Thomas agreed. “I should watch it sometime.”
“You can watch it with us!” Julia said, and holy shit, this conversation was getting weirder and weird. James was sure he had ended up in the Twilight zone or something. Since when were the twins willing to hang out with new people? Had Thomas brainwashed them whilst he was in the kitchen? What was happening?
“Oh, sorry,” Thomas said when he noticed James coming back. “Didn’t mean to hijack your kids.”
“It’s fine,” James replied, still a little dazed. Was he imagining this? “They, uh, don’t normally like strangers.”
Thomas’ lips quirked into a smirk that made James want to simultaneously punch him in the face and kiss him senseless. Not a good combination, but Thomas Jefferson tended to bring out the worst in him. “Yeah, well, I’m pretty good with kids.” He paused, then mouthed, “I think the boy hates me.”
James snorted. Junior was not someone to be passive-aggressive; if he truly hated Thomas, he would have very well made it clear. Just the fact that he was content for Thomas to stay in the room when he was watching his favourite Disney show alone meant that Junior was at least somewhat okay with Thomas. That was bizarre, to say the least. James couldn’t wait to tell Dolley.
Both Junior and Julia were watching the movie again, completely forgetting the two adults in the room. James stepped over them carefully, handing Thomas the cup of sugar. Their fingers brushed slightly over the ceramic surface, and it took all of James’ willpower to not drop the cup right there and then. Thomas had warm hands, and James’ imagination was a bitch that liked to imagine crazy scenarios, like holding his neighbour’s hand.
“Thanks,” Thomas said. His gaze was strangely intense, and his voice sounded a tad too intimate for someone who was thanking an almost-stranger for some sugar. It was like he was gazing directly into James’ soul. If it had been anyone else, James would have shifted uncomfortably, muttered a reply and then hurried off, but… Jeez. Thomas had nice eyes. How had he not noticed that before?
The seconds seemed to stretch on for years, and they were still staring at each other. James wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but he didn’t want it to stop either. For a second, he could pretend that they were more than two people who just happened to live next-door to each other and entertain the concept of being soulmates or something equally sappy.
“Jemmy, can he watch a movie with us?” Julia’s childish voice rang from the living room.
The two snapped out of their trance. Thomas looked startled, almost as though he hadn’t realised he had been staring. James shoved down the little niggle of anxiety (what if Thomas didn’t even mean to stare at James? What if he was embarrassed? What if it was just a medical condition and James was romanticising it for no damn reason?) and turned to the twins.
“I’m sure Thomas is busy,” James told them firmly. He prayed that Thomas would contradict him - James was not above using his best friend’s children to spend more time with his crush. “He-”
“Has nothing to do for the next few hours and has no problem watching a movie,” Thomas finished smoothly, shooting James a toothy grin that was just as captivating as his smirks. “As long as Jemmy doesn’t mind.”
‘Jemmy’ was, frankly, a nickname James wouldn’t mind leaving in the past, but it sounded… somewhat nice when it was coming from Thomas’ mouth. Still mostly ridiculous, but a lot better than when Dolley was screaming it across supermarket aisles and drawing the stares of everyone in the nearest vicinity.
“Not an issue,” James replied warmly.
And that was how he found himself lying on the floor, flat on his stomach and Julia sitting comfortably on his back. He could hear a gazillion muscles screaming in protest, but she seemed too excited for James to push her off. Next to him was Thomas, chattering away with Junior, who had warmed up to the other man and was now trying to explain the plot of Toy Story to him. Thomas was just close enough for James to feel his body heat, their arms brushing every so often when one of them shifted. James may or may not have purposefully moved his arm occasionally to touch Thomas, but after Julia’s complaints that were veering far too close to making Thomas aware of his plan, gave up.
They finished Mulan for the second time, and the twins were arguing over which movie to watch next. Thomas glanced over at him and grinned, bright and goofy, and James was hit with a sudden feeling of domesticity. It felt like they were married, that Junior and Julia were their kids, that this was their Sunday evening together.
Good god, James needed to chill the fuck out.
“But it’s not even Christmas,” Julia was arguing as Junior’s chubby fingers pressed at the keyboard at a painstakingly slow pace. “Home Alone is for Christmas.”
“No it’s not, don’t be stupid,” was Junior’s response. “It doesn’t make a difference. It’s not ‘illaygal’.” His childish tongue stumbled over the last word, but he seemed so proud of himself for using the word ‘illegal’ in a sentence that James couldn’t bear to ruin his fun.
“It’s actually ‘illegal’,” Thomas corrected immediately.
Well. There went that plan. James shot him a sharp look, but Thomas just seemed confused. For all his claims that he was good with kids, Thomas really had no idea how not to be a killjoy sometimes.
“You never know,” Julia said solemnly. “Santa Claus could stop giving us presents.”
“Santa Claus doesn’t exist,” Thomas said casually. James could punch him. Every fibre of his being was yearning to punch him. God, he wanted to punch him so bad, right in the middle of that pretty face. Thomas might be gorgeous, but if he was the cause of an infamous twins tantrum, James was kicking him out and dropping the kids off with him so that he could deal with calming them down.
“Don’t be silly, of course he does,” Junior said, hitting Thomas lightly.
“Junior’s right, Santa does exist,” James said as pointedly as he was able. When Thomas glanced at him, he widened his eyes meaningfully. Thomas did not get the message.
“Don’t brainwash them, James,” Thomas said reproachfully. “Kids, Santa isn’t real, it’s all just a ploy by adults to make you behave. But you’re sensible kids, you don’t need some fake man in a beard and a suit to make you behave well, right?”
It took half an hour to calm the twins down. By the time Dolley collected them, with tears and snot smeared across their faces and still shrieking like tortured banshees, James had banned Thomas from ever talking to a child under the age of ten ever again.