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Sam doesn't know what it is, though it's something pretty serious judging by how hard Dean's avoiding telling him about it. And that would bother him, it really would, except he can't seem to care about a whole lot anymore. Dean's lying to Cas, too, not telling him about the spell. Seems like he's lying to everyone these days, and it's wearing on him. He's tense all the time, unhappy, his face set and shoulders high. Sam's tried, given him openings, but he never takes them, and Sam's not inclined to push. It doesn't work with Dean, for one thing, and he's not really sure he wants to know, for another.
Usually he'd say "Just tell me, Dean, we'll work it out together," but he's tired. He's tired of being in the center of the shitstorm, he just wants to be one of the guys fighting the good fight, not the guy that's starting or stopping one apocalypse after the next. Researching the angel spell felt like old times, just doing his job, trying to figure out someone else's fuck up.
But that fuck up had been Cas, and it'd led to more lies from Dean, and that brings him back to whatever big secret Dean's keeping from him. Maybe something to do with Crowley. Doesn't even make sense, really, keeping him alive, never has. Sam shivers. If Dean's made some kind of deal again…
For what, though? Sam's fine, feeling better than he has in months, it's not like anything happened to him. Maybe for Cas? Cas might have been hurt in the fall. Sam was unconscious that whole first day; maybe Dean found Cas and he was…
Sam blinks. Thinking about all this is giving him a headache. He stretches, heads to the kitchen to get some food. He's got to let this go. Dean'll tell him when he needs to know. He can trust Dean.