Archive of Our Own

In all the years that Iwaizumi had known Oikawa, he always held a small bit of doubt that their friendship would last all the years that it had. He thought they might grow apart: after all, they were unlikely friends and outside of volleyball, they really didn't have many interests in common. Oikawa was outgoing, where Iwaizumi was reserved. Oikawa was all smiles and sunshine where Iwaizumi was hard expressions and scowls. Oikawa was brave in a sense that Iwaizumi couldn't even dare to compete with. He had so much resolve, so much willpower, so much motivation. 

Oikawa was so much that Iwaizumi knew that he could never be and for that, he admired his friend. But it also made him feel inadequate in comparison. He tried his best to be the person he thought Oikawa needed him to be and somehow, he had managed for all the years that he had.

But every day that they remained friends, Iwaizumi couldn't help but wonder what it was that he had to offer that kept Oikawa at his side for so long. It wasn’t like Oikawa was short on friends; if the constant notifications on his phone was anything to go by, Oikawa had enough people who would happily absorb his attention.

For some reason though, Oikawa didn’t care about that. He would swipe the notifications away, not even bothering to look at most of them and turn his attention towards Iwaizumi instead, with a ‘Let’s go to my house after school, ne Iwa-chan?’ as if there wasn’t anyone else Oikawa would have rather spent his free time with.

It seemed so long ago though that Oikawa was the snivelling kid Iwaizumi met in kindergarten. If anyone asked Iwaizumi at the start of the school year whether he would have made friends with Oikawa, the answer would have been solid 'no.' Yet he couldn't help that Oikawa latched himself onto Iwaizumi and truth be told, he didn't mind it as much as he liked to grumble about it. 

The start of their friendship was as unlikely as the duration of it itself. It had been during one of the class breaks that Iwaizumi first spoke to Oikawa outside of the classroom setting where he was forced to speak to everyone politely. 

Iwaizumi always liked to play with the ball or run around or do something that required him to get physical and dirty. He had too much energy and his mother always told him to run out of it at school before he got home. That was fine. That was good actually because at school, he had tons of other people to play with him. He had always enjoyed playing with other people and the fact that he was pretty good at most sports made him popular among the kindergarten boys. Not that he cared about that; he just wanted people to play with. 

Oikawa on the other hand, liked to spend his breaks absorbed in books off in some corner of the park. Sometimes he would disappear and the teacher would have to go looking for him, but she never seemed angry. How someone could charm a teacher like that was beyond Iwaizumi but the truth was, he really didn't care because they had different interests and didn't interact much. It wasn't his business what Oikawa did, so he ignored the other boy. As long as Oikawa wasn’t bothering him, what did it matter to Iwaizumi what he did? He had always been a strong believer in letting people do what they wanted as long as it wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t his place to judge anyone anyway. He didn’t talk to Oikawa because he didn’t need to.

And he thought that's how it would always remain until one day during a game of soccer, Iwaizumi kicked the ball too far off the field and his teammates all agreed that he should be the one to retrieve it because it was only fair. Iwaizumi had shrugged, not really agreeing or disagreeing with their logic but ran off to find the ball anyway. It was easy enough to retrieve a ball. Or well, it should have been easy enough. Iwaizumi had seen it land behind a group of bushes and that's where he was searching… except the ball wasn't there. 

Frustrated, he was ready to return to the field - their break was almost over anyway - but voices caught his attention. 

He had moved further into the back, pushing past the bushes until he came upon a group of three boys and Oikawa. At first sight, Iwaizumi was confused why Oikawa of all people was hanging out with the class bullies, but he quickly realized that he wasn't hanging out with them so much as being picked on by them. 

He had felt his conscience kick into gear. He should go up and help Oikawa, he had reminded himself. It didn't matter that he and Oikawa weren't friends. As far as Iwaizumi was concerned, a person in need of help was just that despite their relationship to him. He thought about how angry his mother would be if he got into another fight but how he couldn't bring himself to care. Not when he knew how unfair it was that three boys, all larger than Oikawa were picking on him. Besides, his parents also taught him to be a good person and help those who needed the aid.

It didn't help when Iwaizumi noticed the supposed leader of the trio, Takeo, holding his ball. He had clenched his fists, ready to step out right then but being this close, he could actually hear the conversation, which stopped him in his tracks.

"Why are you always reading, you nerd?" he asked, bouncing the ball hard off of Oikawa's head and catching it back in his hand. Oikawa looked angry but didn't respond. Iwaizumi was surprised; the ball must have hurt but Oikawa didn’t seem to be showing any weakness at all.

"Are you stupid? Do you know how to speak? I guess those books don't really teach you much. After all, what loser reads books about aliens?" he had laughed harshly, repeating his earlier action of bouncing Iwaizumi's ball against Oikawa's head. 

This time, Iwaizumi noticed the clenched fists and angry look in Oikawa's eyes and recognized it as the same look he had when he was about ready to throw a punch at someone himself. But before Iwaizumi could step in and stop Oikawa from digging himself into his grave, the other boy had pulled his hand back and swung it cleanly across Takeo's jaw. 

If it wasn't for the fact that Iwaizumi was mildly afraid of watching Oikawa get absolutely pummelled by Takeo and his friends, he might have been impressed that someone so small, always so quiet, could do something like that. He certainly hadn’t expected Oikawa Tooru, the kid who the teachers all loved, the one who liked to bury himself in books rather than mud could throw a punch like that without hesitation.

"Now you've done it, Oikawa," Takeo had growled, having recovered from the shock of being hit.

"Oi, give me back my ball," Iwaizumi had yelled, effectively turning the group’s attention towards him and away from Oikawa. He continued walking towards them until he was standing right between Takeo and Oikawa, shielding the smaller boy from the bullies. His back was turned to Oikawa, his hands were shoved in his pockets, and a nonchalant look had graced his features. He looked a lot calmer than he felt but if he knew one thing, it was that showing weakness was a disadvantage.

"Move aside, Iwaizumi. That nerd is about to pay for what he did," Takeo had shoved at Iwaizumi's shoulder. 

"Make me," Iwaizumi had replied back fiercely, keeping his solid stance. 

"Why do you care what happens to him? He has no friends, you're better than him. I'm your friend, so back me up instead," Takeo had reasoned. 

Iwaizumi had wrinkled his nose at that and scoffed. "I would never be friends with someone who thinks it's fun to bully others. You're not better than him. At least he's smart. You have no friends and you're stupid," Iwaizumi had laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. 

For a moment, there was silence until Takeo broke it. "Fine, protect him if you want but we'll see what happens to this loser when I tell the teacher he punched me." He looked pretty proud of himself, which had made Iwaizumi angry because how could that kid be so full of himself? 

"Who punched you? Oikawa? As if he'd do that. I think you're mistaken, that was me," Iwaizumi had defended, eyes narrowed at Takeo, daring him to argue back. 

"Takeo-kun, let's just go," Akihito had pulled at his friend's sleeve. Takeo looked like he wanted to stay and fight it out but he was convinced by his friends’ pleading looks. They turned around to leave without another word until Iwaizumi called for his ball back, which Takeo surprisingly returned without an added catch. 

He had waited for them to leave before he turned around to face Oikawa, but was shocked to see that the boy was crying. "What are you crying for?" Iwaizumi had yelped, taken aback by the tears falling hard and fast down Oikawa's face. As far as he was concerned, Oikawa hadn’t taken a beating and Iwaizumi had gotten him out of trouble with the teachers. If anything, he should have been happy yet here he was, crying instead. When Oikawa didn’t reply to Iwaizumi’s question and instead cried harder, a pained expression overtook him.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he had asked, pulling Oikawa closer and examining his head. Maybe Takeo had managed to hurt him before Iwaizumi arrived.

“I’m not hu – rt,” Oikawa had hiccupped, swiping at the snot and tears with his left arm. Iwaizumi would have been disgusted by it were it not for the fact that he was more preoccupied with Oikawa’s current emotional breakdown.

“Then why are you crying?” Iwaizumi had continued, confused beyond belief. This time, Oikawa waited to stop hiccupping and crying before he responded, making his words clearer.

“Because you were so nice to me, Iwa-chan,” he had sniffled, pulling Iwaizumi closer and wrapping his arms around the other boy.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Iwaizumi had shrugged him off, taken aback by Oikawa’s sudden behaviour, and had he just called him Iwa-chan? “It’s nothing,” he had awkwardly continued.

“It’s not nothing,” Oikawa had stomped his foot. “You said I was smart and you told Takeo that we were friends,” he smiled. Iwaizumi hadn’t been able to bring it in himself to correct Oikawa. Sure, he had said that Oikawa was smart but he hadn’t said that they were friends. But the look of pure happiness on Oikawa’s smiling face, still covered in snot and shiny from his tears was too much to handle. One look at the boy’s joy had Iwaizumi nodding his head in agreement, as if there had ever been a doubt that they really were friends.

“Yeah, we are so stop stating the obvious,” he had said before he could stop himself. He had felt a blush rise then and he covered up his awkwardness with a slight shove towards Oikawa’s shoulder. “And stop crying, people will think it’s my fault,” he had yelled, but the harshness of his tone contradicted the concern behind his words.

Oikawa had only nodded and agreed, a large smile spread across his small face. They had ended up coming back into the class from break late but it didn’t matter. Somehow Oikawa had convinced the teacher to not reprimand them and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but think that maybe being friends with Oikawa wasn’t such a bad thing after all. If only he knew that was only the beginning.

“What are you thinking about?” Oikawa hummed next to him, breaking Iwaizumi out of his reminiscing thoughts. They were riding what was the third gross bus of the day, all because Oikawa thought it would be a great idea to bus their way from Tokyo to Miyagi instead of taking the train like a normal person would.

Why? Iwaizumi wasn’t sure himself but Oikawa wanted to and he had always been weak to Oikawa’s requests.

“How much of an ugly crier you’ve always been. I guess some things never change,” he replied without missing a beat. He felt a pressure against his shoulder and turned his head, prepared to deal with whatever whine would come out of Oikawa’s mouth next but surprisingly, he was met with a gentle smile and a soft hum. Oikawa had leaned his head against Iwaizumi’s shoulder, completely invading his personal space and not looking the least bit remorseful.

“What? You’re not going to complain that I insulted you? Are you ok?” Iwaizumi frowned, genuinely concerned for Oikawa’s well-being.

Oikawa scoffed at that, but maintained his position next to Iwaizumi with his head completely against Iwaizumi’s shoulder. He even went so far as ruffling the sleeve of Iwaizumi’s sweatshirt lightly, burying his face in it.

“Nu-uh,” he answered contently. “Iwa-chan was thinking about me, how could I be mad at that?” he laughed lightly, and Iwaizumi mentally chided himself, because what the fuck, that wasn’t the response he was expecting. Something about the way that Oikawa was currently snuggled in his chest, and the words that had come out of his mouth had Iwaizumi’s heart racing faster than he remembered it beating in a long time.

Maybe it was the overwhelming scent of lavender and something muskier, maybe cedar, coming that was coming off of Oikawa with his face pressed so close against Iwaizumi. Maybe it was the way Oikawa’s fingers were fiddling in the small space between their seats where Iwaizumi’s right hand lay, occasionally brushing it. Or maybe it was the fact that Oikawa had seen through Iwaizumi’s words completely and he wasn’t sure if that made him happy or scared him beyond belief.

Whatever it was, it had Iwaizumi’s hands suddenly feeling clammy, his throat feeling dry and his face feeling hot. Oikawa was too close for his own good, yet he wanted him even closer, a thought he knew he shouldn’t have been thinking.

“Stop thinking, you’re fidgeting too much,” Oikawa complained, nuzzling his face further into Iwaizumi’s chest. “It’s uncomfortable,” he explained.

“Then stop leaning on me. You wanted the window seat so you could sleep a little. Use it,” Iwaizumi retorted, his brain telling him that no, that wasn’t what he really wanted Oikawa to do. The soft pressure of Oikawa’s head against his upper arm and the warmth radiating from his face was comforting. With Oikawa’s face so close to his chest, Iwaizumi was sure Oikawa could hear his heart threatening to beat out of his chest, but thankfully his best friend didn’t comment.

“But I want to sleep on you,” Oikawa whined. Iwaizumi refused to look in Oikawa’s direction in case the other boy shot him one of his pouts. Lately, Iwaizumi was losing more and more of his resolve every time he saw Oikawa’s face twist down adorably.

Sure, he knew that despite all the odds, they had remained friends, but Iwaizumi wasn’t stupid. He knew what all these feelings that suddenly clouded his entire mind and body every time Oikawa so much as spoke to him meant. Maybe they were unlikely friends, but Iwaizumi was happy having Oikawa in his life. Because despite how annoying he could be, he was also the one who knew Iwaizumi the best and was always the first to offer anything he could if it meant making Iwaizumi happy. Oikawa liked to pretend he was selfish but Iwaizumi knew that he was the most selfless person he had ever met and he would be lying if he said he wouldn’t miss the idiot’s constant presence in his life.

So their friendship may have been questionable but a relationship between the two was absolutely preposterous.

Besides, Iwaizumi had never been one to place bets on things when he knew he was going to lose, and these feelings that had suddenly sprouted for Oikawa were a lost cause. It may not have been ideal having to constantly deal with Oikawa’s touchy personality, but the opposite of that meant to not have Oikawa at all and that wasn’t something he could bring himself to do.

Oikawa may have been selfless but Iwaizumi was completely selfish when it came to the other boy. All he wanted was to see his indulgent smiles and tender touches. Even if they weren’t meant the way that Iwaizumi may have wanted them to be, they were still there. And Oikawa only did these things for him.

“Fine, but don’t whine when I wake you up in two hours. We have another bus change,” he reminded, sighing against Oikawa’s form.

“Hmm,” Oikawa replied absentmindedly. Iwaizumi doubted he even registered that last sentence. Oikawa closed his eyes and in a moment of weakness, Iwaizumi glanced at him. He was completely unprepared for that sight. He was immediately met with the overwhelming urge to turn around and engulf Oikawa in his arms because what the hell, how could someone look so innocent and soft and goddamn perfect?

Everything about Oikawa was soft from his hair right down to his hands. The years of continuous dedication to volleyball had caused a few callouses across his palms but the back of his hands were softer than anything Iwaizumi had ever known. Sometimes if he was lucky, Oikawa would run the back of his hand against Iwaizumi’s and in those moments Iwaizumi wasn’t sure what he did to deserve it. Oikawa’s skin was so pale and smooth and his eyelashes were unbelievably long. If Iwaizumi thought he was only weak to the other boy when he was gazing at Iwaizumi with his piercing brown eyes then he was completely wrong. Even with his eyes completely shut, Iwaizumi would still do anything Oikawa asked him to.

He thought about how easy it would be to shift his arm a little and tighten the hold his arm had on Oikawa. How nice it would feel to share the warmth between them and fall asleep against Oikawa with that comfort. The thought made him gulp as guilt settled in. He knew it wasn’t fair of him to have these feelings and think these things about Oikawa especially when his best friend was completely oblivious to the struggles inside Iwaizumi’s mind. But he couldn’t help it. Not when Oikawa was so close to him.

Iwaizumi sighed and shifted against the back of his seat, trying his hardest not to wake Oikawa, who had fallen asleep the moment he closed his eyes. He wasn’t particularly comfortable but he didn’t dare move now that he knew the slightest movement might disturb his sleeping best friend. Only Iwaizumi knew how tired Oikawa; if he was lucky Iwaizumi managed to get the other boy to sleep more than four hours each night.

Lately, the sleep deprivation had only gotten worse with the end of the semester hitting them harder than anything they had known. Iwaizumi knew that university wasn’t going to be easy but their professors seemed to think coordination between them wasn’t necessary. Up until midterms, everything had been going just fine and suddenly as soon as midterms were over the pace of the classes picked up five times and Iwaizumi felt all hopes of freedom disappear until the semester was over.

Oikawa, who had never been one to perform anything but his best had taken to staying up far later than he should have, especially considering all the time he spent on the varsity volleyball team. It was a good thing that Iwaizumi and Oikawa were rooming together because Iwaizumi was sure that Oikawa wouldn’t have slept at all if he weren’t there to force him. On the other hand, it was also a curse for Iwaizumi who had realized during the last month of high school that his feelings for Oikawa were more than just platonic.

By that time though, they had already decided to head to the same university, a decision Iwaizumi knew had been influenced by his feelings. Although at the time he hadn’t admitted it to himself but the underlying truth had always been there. It was too late to change his offer then and besides, the University of Tokyo was his first choice too and there was no way he was going to give up the chance to go to the best university in all of Japan because of a crush. He had told himself that the feelings were fleeting and he had known Oikawa basically his entire life… all he needed was to give it time and they would go away.

But then they had moved to Tokyo and decided to room together and instead of going away, the feelings had only multiplied. It was terrible for Iwaizumi’s heart and his patience. But Iwaizumi was never one to give up a fight and this time, it was a fight with himself. Rooming with Oikawa had been rough on him with the constant struggle he had with his own feelings. So while the end of the semester brought along more work than he thought he was able to handle, it also brought him some relief in the form of stress. He was too busy feeling stressed about all the deadlines and exams and making sure Oikawa didn’t overwork himself to think about the way his heart suddenly sped up every time he so much as looked at his best friend.

Once the semester was over however, it was a different story. Their last exam had only been three days ago and those three days had been the most agonizing seventy-two hours of Iwaizumi’s life. It was as if the emotions he had absentmindedly suppressed beneath the stress of school had come back rushing all at once the moment he didn’t have anything distracting him. To make matters worse, Oikawa had been glued to his side the entire time, giving Iwaizumi no time to breathe and no time to sort out his feelings. Oikawa had dragged Iwaizumi out to as many places as he could the moment their exams ended and then he had suggested taking the bus to Miyagi because 'We'll get to catch up on all our lost time hanging out, Iwa-chan.' As if that was what Iwaizumi needed.

He had a sinking feeling though that there was nothing to sort out at this point. It had been almost six months since he came to realize what he felt for Oikawa was more than just friendship but in that time it was as if his feelings had only strengthened. And the worst part was that Iwaizumi was ok with all of it. In fact, he was fine wallowing in the misery of a one-sided attraction so long as he was still next to Oikawa. It was pathetic really and unlike him but Iwaizumi couldn’t even bring himself to care anymore.

Iwaizumi felt Oikawa shift next to him. He turned his head to the side to see what was wrong but Oikawa was still fast asleep. To Iwaizumi’s chagrin, the hand Oikawa had left in the small space between their seats was now tangled in Iwaizumi’s own.

Oh great. Iwaizumi gulped. There was no way he was going to be able to focus on anything but the feeling of Oikawa’s warm palm against his increasingly sweaty one. Call him a masochist because a part of him was actually grateful for the bit of skinship between himself and Oikawa. It made him feel guilty that he was taking advantage of his best friend this way but feeling Oikawa’s warm hands against his own was also comforting… if entirely heart attack inducing.

Iwaizumi held back a low groan, praying that he didn’t accidentally twitch in his attempt to hold back on moving his hand. He closed his eyes, hoping that not being able to see their hands together would help him relax. Unfortunately, Oikawa’s grip was tight and not being able to see amplified his other senses. He sighed, frustrated, but continued to keep his eyes closed all the same, praying that the next two hours would fly by fast.

The next two hours did not fly by fast. In fact, they were the most agonizing two hours of his life. Ok, maybe Iwaizumi was exaggerating a little but it certainly felt that way. As the time passed by, his hand only grew sweatier, making the grip between their hands loose, which Oikawa was so kind as to tighten every time he felt it. Iwaizumi was sure he was going to die. How fucking lame of him. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to Oikawa’s touch but something about the way Oikawa was sleeping against his chest, holding his hand as he did so was so comforting and intimate that Iwaizumi was starting to lose himself in the feeling.

It wasn’t good. Not for his heart at least, which was on the verge of stopping any second. Iwaizumi had never been more grateful for a moment than when the driver announced that they had arrived at their terminal and urged everyone to take their belongings and get off the bus.

He nudged Oikawa’s sleeping form, eager to get his best friend’s head away from his rapidly beating chest. “Oikawa, hey, wake up. We’re getting off.” Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa sleepily registered what was happening and shit he looked so cute. It was completely unfair how adorable Oikawa looked when he was sleepy. Goddamn, Iwaizumi wasn’t sure how much more he could handle being around Oikawa without doing something stupid like kissing him or worse, telling him his feelings.

“What?” Oikawa mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. It was then that Iwaizumi realized Oikawa’s death grip on his hand was still there. Oikawa seemed to have noticed it too. He looked down at their tangled hands, before pulling away, a slight pink dusting his cheeks at the action. “Sorry,” he mumbled sheepishly, but Iwaizumi was too embarrassed to have heard it.

He cleared his throat, stepping out into the aisle of the bus to make room for Oikawa to get out too. “It’s fine, I’ll grab your things as well,” Iwaizumi replied when Oikawa reached up to the compartments above their seats to retrieve his bags.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa smiled sleepily, making his way off the bus. Iwaizumi sighed, grateful for the few seconds away from Oikawa to be able to clear his head.

“Are you going to just stand there or are you going to move?” came a rude reply from behind him. Iwaizumi immediately coloured, offering an apology to the woman tapping her foot impatiently. He peaked behind her and noticed a line of people waiting for him to get off so they could make their way off the bus too. Shit, Iwaizumi had been so caught up in his thoughts he didn’t realize he was blocking their path.

“Sorry,” he bowed his head in apology before pulling the duffel bags around his shoulders. It was autumn now but the weather was still relatively nice. Iwaizumi was thankful for that because he had packed pretty lightly. They were only going back home for two weeks anyway, and then they would have to return to Tokyo again for the start of their second semester.

He searched the brightly lit bus terminal for Oikawa’s familiar face until he spotted him leaning against a window, still overcome with sleep. In the burnt-orange light though, he seemed to be glowing and when he noticed Iwaizumi walking towards him he straightened up and smiled so softly Iwaizumi thought his heart might stop. This wasn’t good for him and if he didn’t know any better, he was becoming attached. A voice at the back of his mind told him that he was already attached but he pushed it aside, if only for the time being. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do about his growing feelings for Oikawa when his best friend was so oblivious to them.

He had thought about telling Oikawa many times but it was too late now. The next chance he was going to get was when they graduated. Until then, he couldn’t risk the dynamic between them changing. At least when they graduated, Iwaizumi would be able to convince himself that growing apart came with growing older and had nothing to do with how Oikawa couldn’t reciprocate his feelings.

“What’s wrong?” Oikawa asked, frowning. Iwaizumi shook his head, wiping the frown from his face. He had been stupid enough to let his worries show and if Oikawa was anything, he was perceptive.

“Nothing, let’s go find our next bus,” Iwaizumi nodded his head towards the array of buses parked on the other side. Oikawa reached out for his bag but Iwaizumi shook his head again. “It’s fine, let’s go.” Oikawa only cocked his head before giving him a lopsided smile but not arguing.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, brushing his shoulder against Iwaizumi’s as he began to walk a few paces ahead towards where their next bus was supposed to be. “Which one is it?” he asked, pointing towards the three buses that were ready to depart.

Iwaizumi fished the tickets from his pant pockets, scanning the print under the light of the lampposts. “Apparently the one that says Miyagi. It’s our last one,” he supplied. He expected Oikawa to lead the way but the other boy stood still, frowning.

“None of these are heading towards Miyagi. We didn’t miss our bus did we?” Oikawa asked, panic rising despite his attempts at staying cool.

“What are you talking about Shittykawa? Are you too tired to read properly?” Iwaizumi growled, moving up and letting his eyes travel from one bus to another. He felt his stomach sink when he realized that Oikawa was right. None of these buses were heading to Miyagi and to make matters worse, the rest of the bus terminal was practically empty too. The only people remaining were the ticket booth operator, a man sprawled out across a bench (but he didn’t look like he was going to be leaving anytime soon) and them.

“Maybe the bus is late?” Oikawa asked meekly. Somehow, Iwaizumi didn’t think that was true but he hummed in agreement and headed in the direction of the ticket booth.

“Excuse me,” he tapped on the glass. Wow, this place was old. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen an actual human working behind a ticket booth. The man on the other side of the smudged glass grunted in response. He was old, had a slightly balding head and a very sleepy look plastered on his face.

“Do you know when this bus is going to come?” Iwaizumi asked, sliding his ticket through the space in the glass. The man gave them a deadpan look, sighed but took the ticket all the same. He glanced at it for a second before sliding it back towards Iwaizumi. “Tomorrow,” he answered simply.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly. Tomorrow?” Iwaizumi clarified, hoping he had just misheard the man due to the glass between them.

“That’s what I said, kid. Didn’t you read the date on the ticket?” Iwaizumi coloured at that, picking the ticket back up and glancing at the date in the top right hand corner. He felt the heat rise to his face.

“Great,” Iwaizumi muttered. “What the fuck are we supposed to do now?” he turned to face Oikawa, irrationally angry at the fact that he was going to have to spend more time with Oikawa, trapped by his own terrible self-inflicting wounds. “Do you even know where we are because I sure as hell don’t,” he said angrily. The harshness of his tone must have taken Oikawa by surprise because the other boy’s eyes widened for a split second before they were replaced by a glare.

It was unfair of him to blame Oikawa. Iwaizumi knew that this was his fault just as much as it was Oikawa’s. Sure, Oikawa had told him when the ticket was for but it was Iwaizumi’s job to double check that his best friend was correct with his information. But he hadn’t checked. He had just taken Oikawa’s words at face value and now they were stuck in the middle of god fucking knew where.

Iwaizumi was mostly angry at himself for being so irresponsible but it was so much easier to direct his anger at Oikawa. Especially because Oikawa had been plaguing his thoughts lately and the source of all his internal struggles. It was so wrong of him to blame Oikawa but he couldn’t help it. He knew he would feel guilty for it the moment this fight was over but for the time being, he couldn’t stop himself.

“Are you blaming me for this?” Oikawa asked testily. When Iwaizumi didn’t respond, he continued, laughing bitterly. “I can’t believe this,” he threw his hands up in the air as if to emphasize how ridiculous it was that Iwaizumi would put the blame on him. “I remember you keeping the tickets because you didn’t trust me not to lose them. So then why’d you trust me to tell you the right date,” Oikawa bit back harshly.

Iwaizumi knew Oikawa was right but that was the last thing he wanted to admit. “Of course it’s my fault. You can never take responsibility, Oikawa. I’m always picking up after you or reminding you what to do. The one time I don’t and this is what happens,” he replied just as angry.

Oikawa opened his mouth to retort then closed it, face red from anger and perhaps something else. Iwaizumi was too busy feeling the crushing weight of the words he had just said to Oikawa to realize anything. What the fuck did I just do?

He mentally scolded himself for having said the worst words possible to Oikawa. No, don't look like that. I like picking up after you, Iwaizumi had wanted to correct but his throat felt dry and speaking seemed impossible.

The clearing of a throat brought Iwaizumi back to their current location. He turned his head to see the man behind the ticket booth look at them with raised eyebrows. “I take it you don’t have a place to stay?” he asked. Iwaizumi shot him a glare as if to say ‘no shit’ but the old man just shrugged helplessly. “The terminal is closing in fifteen minutes so my shift is over. I have a spare room you can crash in for the night. Up to you,” he offered. Iwaizumi regarded him skeptically but Oikawa beat him to the punch. 

“How much?” he asked bluntly.

The old man chuckled. “I don't want any money. Just don’t leave a mess. The number of times I’ve let couples crash in my house has left me with more messy bed sheets that I ever wanted to see in my life,” he shuddered.

“We’re – we’re not a couple,” Oikawa spluttered defensively. Iwaizumi felt his scowl deepen at that. He had no reason to. What Oikawa said was true but Iwaizumi still felt like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and crushed by the strength of Oikawa’s own hands.

“Alright, whatever you say. You can wait for me to finish up or you can stay here all night,” the man offered again. Iwaizumi look him up and down and while he didn’t deem him dangerous, one could never be too wary of a stranger offering their home for no fee.

“I don’t know…” Iwaizumi trailed off turning to face Oikawa again. “What do you think?”

“Oh, so now my opinion matters,” he responded bitterly.

“What? That’s not what any of this was about. Just, tell me what you want to do,” he asked a little gentler, knowing that exchanging more harsh words with Oikawa was only going to make this worse. He already regretted how unfair he had been to Oikawa.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows, seemingly thinking over Iwaizumi’s words. He hated how Oikawa didn’t immediately believe him, and the thought ripped a bigger hole through his heart. It was as if Oikawa knew exactly what to say, what to do to make Iwaizumi feel insignificant and yet, he was still as madly infatuated with Oikawa as ever. “Fine,” he agreed. Then he turned to the old man, “You better not try anything. My father is a police officer,” he threatened.

The old man held up his hands and nodded. “Alright Mr. Son of a Police Officer and Mr. Not Boyfriend, go wait by that empty bench. I’ll come get you when I’m packed,” he laughed, much to Iwaizumi’s chagrin.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa didn’t argue with him however and took their leave towards the bench. When they reached it, Iwaizumi sat on one end and Oikawa looked around, then decided to sit as far as possible from Iwaizumi. He scowled at the childish action but didn’t rise to the bait. If anything, he deserved Oikawa’s pettiness and wrath. Oikawa was charming until he was pissed off and Iwaizumi had done what he knew better than to do. They sat like that, not speaking to one another for what felt like hours but Iwaizumi knew in reality, it had been only twenty minutes, courtesy of his watch.

When the old man came to get them, they stood up. Iwaizumi had his back turned to Oikawa so he didn’t notice until there was a weight pulling at his shoulder. He turned around to face Oikawa staring at him pointedly, hand attached to his duffel bag that Iwaizumi was still carrying. “What?” he asked, confused by the gesture.

“I’d like my bag, please.” His words were polite but his tone was icy and Iwaizumi felt himself freeze at the sound of it.

“It’s fine, I’ve got it,” he insisted, voice coming out hoarse.

“Please give me my bag, Iwaizumi,” Oikawa continued. Iwaizumi. He felt his intestines twist. The moment Oikawa called him by his full name was the moment that Iwaizumi knew that he hadn’t just angered Oikawa, but he had truly upset him. God, he was such an asshole. Why would Oikawa ever care about someone like him when he couldn’t even treat Oikawa right as a friend?

Iwaizumi was weak to the hurt behind Oikawa’s mask and he slowly slid the bag off his shoulder, not wanting to continue the fight. Oikawa didn’t respond; he just took his bag from Iwaizumi’s outstretched hand and walked behind the old man leading them to his house. For a moment, Iwaizumi was frozen, watching Oikawa walk ahead of him like he didn’t need him, like he didn’t want him, but he quickly shook the thought away. This wasn’t the time. They were walking into a complete stranger’s home; right now, what he needed was to be alert.

He caught up to the two in front of him, ignoring the new thought that reminded him that Oikawa hadn’t even so much as looked back at him to make sure he was following.

“Alright, there’s a spare room at the back of the house. My room is near the kitchen. There should be tea in the cupboards and some leftovers in the fridge if you need anything. I’m heading to bed so if you need something else, figure it out,” he waved them off. “Oh and the name’s Fukuhara. That was for you to Mr. Son of a Police Officer. You know, if you want to message someone your whereabouts or whatever. Goodnight,” he added before turning around and heading to what was presumably his bedroom.

“Weird guy, isn’t he?” Iwaizumi chuckled, trying to lift some of the obvious tension in the room. Oikawa didn’t grace him with a response but he did hum. That was something at least but it wasn’t good either. He trudged through the one-floor house, eyeing anything that might be odd on his way to the spare room but he didn’t see anything alarming. In hindsight, this was a terrible idea but Iwaizumi figured that their chances with the old man were better than with the homeless one at the bus terminal. At least if they died here, they would enjoy a few moments of comfort before then.

But if you die, you’ll have died fighting with Oikawa the voice in the back of his mind reminded him.

He found that the spare room was really just that: spare. There wasn’t much in it besides a couple of mats thrown haphazardly and some furniture. Well, at least that would rule out the awkward conversation of who would get the bed or if they’d share. Although somehow, Iwaizumi doubted he and Oikawa were on good enough terms to do that right now. The thought struck a pang in his chest, which he pushed aside, as he pulled his bag through the door.

Iwaizumi tossed his belongings into one corner and pulled out two mats towards the middle. Oikawa could try and put physical distance between them or argue that he was capable of making his own bed, but Iwaizumi wasn’t going to hear it. Not right now when he felt guilty beyond belief. It was a cheap attempt at making it up to Oikawa and he knew his best friend was too smart to ever take the bait, but at least he was doing something. At least he was trying.

The guilt must have played to his advantage somehow because Oikawa didn’t shift the mat any further than where Iwaizumi had laid the two together. “Thanks,” he mumbled, pulling off his sweatshirt and tossing it next to him. Iwaizumi was almost too distracted by the sudden appearance of Oikawa’s torso to register that he had even said anything until Oikawa was staring him head on. Iwaizumi blinked, a blush rising to his cheeks.

“Yeah,” he waved, not sure what he was agreeing to. The way Oikawa raised his eyebrows told Iwaizumi that he had uttered the wrong response. Well, it wasn’t like he could fuck this up any more than he already had. Maybe he deserved this cold attitude from Oikawa. No scratch that, he definitely deserved it for making Oikawa feel worse than Iwaizumi knew the other already felt. He had also unthinkingly placed all the blame on his best friend.

If Iwaizumi had been in Oikawa’s shoes, he would have also been pissed. But more than that, he would have been hurt that the blame in his voice wasn’t teasing like it usually was but curt and unforgiving. Iwaizumi wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Oikawa, to hold him close and tell him just how fucking sorry he was.

But he didn’t.

He changed into his sweatpants, tossing his shirt aside and slipping into the makeshift bed. He didn’t watch to see what Oikawa was doing. Instead, he turned his back away from the other and closed his eyes in an attempt to steady his rapidly beating chest. He heard shifting behind him, signalling that Oikawa had also slipped into his bed. After a few minutes, the angle he was lying on became uncomfortable but Iwaizumi was stubborn and didn’t want to turn around. Mostly because he was afraid to see Oikawa’s back turned away from him as well but also just on principle. He should have already been asleep by now. He shouldn’t have needed to flip sides, but here he was, completely awake, guilt plaguing his entire being.

A few more minutes of restless silence passed, only disturbed by his beating heart that seemed so fucking loud. Iwaizumi finally gave up his resolve when his arm fell dead beneath his head and he was forced to shift. He turned his head, fully prepared to be met with the sight of Oikawa’s back but was startled when instead, he came face to face with his large, brown eyes, staring right at him.

“Can’t sleep?” Oikawa asked, breaking the silence between them.

Iwaizumi nodded. “I’m sorry,” he whispered gently. He didn’t know where they stood and he didn’t want to push Oikawa away any farther than he already had that night.

“I figured,” Oikawa continued. “You’ve always had a bad guilty conscience,” he sighed. Iwaizumi felt his features visibly relax. Oikawa didn’t seem angry anymore, but the hurt was still there. The realization tightened his stomach and made his mouth dry.

“And you’ve always known me too well,” Iwaizumi replied, chucking half-heartedly. Oikawa hummed and closed his eyes briefly. “I shouldn’t have blamed you. It’s not your fault we’re here. I should have read the date on the ticket too,” Iwaizumi continued. Oikawa’s eyes flew open, searching Iwaizumi’s curiously. He opened his mouth to say something but Iwaizumi shook his head, cutting him off. “I was an asshole and you didn’t deserve it. To be honest, this isn’t so bad. I had other things on my mind and I unfairly took that anger out on you. Oikawa, I’m so sorry,” Iwaizumi finished.

Oikawa nodded his head understandingly and Iwaizumi was grateful to see that some of the hurt had disappeared from his eyes. Only some.

“Please say something. I hate when you’re mad at me. Hit me, call me a brute, just say something,” Iwaizumi pleaded. He felt almost silly begging Oikawa to call him out on his bullshit but he needed to hear it.

“I’m not mad at you, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa corrected. Iwaizumi let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding when he heard that nickname. “Just… why didn’t you tell me what was bothering you?” he shifted his eyes away from Iwaizumi’s momentarily. Iwaizumi took the time to look over Oikawa from head to toe and found himself staring at his hands that were intertwined with one another, fidgeting.

Iwaizumi gulped, hating that the source of Oikawa’s hurt was him thinking that Iwaizumi was hiding things from him. “I can’t,” he responded hoarsely. He immediately frowned, hating the way Oikawa closed his eyes, smiling at him.

“Ok,” he agreed, nodding his head.

It was Iwaizumi’s turn to raise his eyebrows disbelievingly. “Really? You’re going to just accept that?”

Oikawa nodded again. “You’ve never hid anything from me before, Iwa-chan. I refuse to believe you’re going to start now unless it’s something you really can’t say, in which case, I understand,” he smiled. “Besides, it would be unfair of me considering I’ve been hiding something from you too,” he replied a little sadly.

Iwaizumi perked up at that. “What? What is it? Is it your knee again? I swear to god Oikawa, if you fucked up your knee and hid it from me I’m going to strangle you,” he said sitting up.

Oikawa wrinkled his nose at that. “It’s not my knee. Geez, give me some credit, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whined. If Iwaizumi wasn’t so busy thinking that Oikawa was keeping something from him, he might have felt relieved to hear the familiar tone in which Oikawa was speaking to him again. The effects of the harsh words and the hurt had vanished but somehow, the tension still remained.

“Then what is it?” Iwaizumi pried, knowing full well he was being a hypocrite. Oikawa considered Iwaizumi’s words then perked up a little.

“I’ll tell you what I’ve been keeping from you… but then you have to tell me what you’ve been hiding,” Oikawa proposed. Iwaizumi swallowed. He hadn’t imagined confessing to Oikawa would go over like this. In fact, he had never imagined confessing to Oikawa. Period.

“Fine,” he replied quickly, urging Oikawa to say what he wanted to say before his courage ran out and Iwaizumi was made to dishonour the deal.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?” Iwaizumi asked defensively.

“Just do it. Please?” Oikawa asked, blinking his eyes innocently at Iwaizumi and oh fuck, how was he supposed to say no to that?

“Fine,” he agreed begrudgingly. He didn’t understand why he had to close his eyes for Oikawa to tell him something but he did it regardless. Iwaizumi was just about to open his eyes and ask Oikawa to hurry up when he felt a soft pressure against his lips. For a moment, he thought Oikawa had just stuck the back of his hand against Iwaizumi’s lips because what the fuck it was so soft; then he panicked and opened his eyes because he realized that it wasn’t Oikawa’s hands but his lips that were pressed against Iwaizumi’s.

“What the fuck?” Iwaizumi asked, pulling back. He immediately regretted his choice of words when he saw all the light drain from Oikawa’s eyes and his face fall.

“Sorry,” Oikawa apologized. “I thought showing you might have been easier than telling you,” he mumbled dejectedly, fidgeting with his hands once more.

Iwaizumi’s body was on fire. He felt his mind work at a thousand miles an hour. What the fuck? Oikawa had just kissed him. If he wasn’t trying so hard to work out what this meant, he was sure his brain might have short-circuited. Of course Iwaizumi had pictured this moment more times than he’d like to admit over the past six months but he had never actually imagined it panning out. Was this some sort of joke? No, the look on Oikawa’s face told him that it wasn’t. Shit, how was he supposed to reply? He had fucked up enough today. Iwaizumi didn't want to mess anything else up, least of all this.

He must have been silent for too long because Oikawa spoke again, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Iwa-chan? Please say something?” he asked, almost timidly.

“Do you like me?” Iwaizumi asked, still trying to piece together the situation.

Oikawa laughed hollowly. “You’re kind of dense, Iwa-chan. I thought me kissing you was pretty obvious. I guess not,” he tried to laugh again, but Iwaizumi could see the tears forming in his eyes, threatening to roll down his face at any second.

“Shit, don't cry,” Iwaizumi cursed, moving forward to cup Oikawa’s face in his hands, stopping the tears from running further than Iwaizumi’s hand. “I like you too, you dumbass. I thought you were supposed to be perceptive,” he laughed, watching Oikawa’s eyes widen in surprise.

Oikawa smiled at him brightly, but the tears continued. Somehow though, Iwaizumi knew these ones were happy tears and not sad ones. “Well I can never tell with you. you’re always so sullen and stoic,” Oikawa defended.

Iwaizumi chuckled, wiping away the tears that had managed to leak through his fingers and onto Oikawa’s face. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, not knowing what it was that he was apologizing for this time. Maybe it was for hiding the truth from Oikawa, or maybe it was for assuming that Oikawa would have wanted him to keep his feelings to himself. “Now stop crying and let me kiss you,” he blushed, pulling Oikawa’s lips against his.

The second kiss was even better than the first; it was void of any doubt. Iwaizumi felt himself smile into it and his smile only grew when he felt Oikawa smile back. It was gentle and rough, all soothing lips and pecks one moment, then harsh teeth and tongue the next. It was calm, but it was also uneven; it was everything Iwaizumi could have imagined and more. Iwaizumi found himself lost in Oikawa’s touch, his scent, his everything.

And when Oikawa gently pushed at his shoulder and straddled his hips to continue kissing him at a new angle, this time accentuated with a few low thrusts against his groin, Iwaizumi found himself completely at Oikawa’s mercy.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi muttered, between pressing kisses along the other boy’s collarbone and neck. He thought he knew every part of Oikawa, but this was a new side he was very willing to explore further.

“What?” Oikawa asked, letting his hands trail down Iwaizumi’s bare chest, tracing the outline of his muscles.

“Let’s do what that old man told us not to and ruin his sheets.”

Oikawa grinned wickedly, letting his hand slide down Iwaizumi’s chest and right beneath his boxers. “That’s the best thing you’ve ever said,” he nodded in agreement. Iwaizumi grinned back, flipping them over, looking forward to exploring every bit of Oikawa he hadn’t been able to before.

Maybe Oikawa was no longer upset with him, but that didn’t excuse the mean things Iwaizumi had said to him; he had a couple of ideas of how to make up for it though and he was certain they were all ideas Oikawa was going to enjoy.

The following morning, Iwaizumi woke up in brighter spirits than he had felt in a very long time and Oikawa looked just as happy. The old man who let them borrow his spare room however, wasn’t as enthusiastic, even though Iwaizumi and Oikawa had done their best to tidy up after themselves.

“That’s the last time I ever let a couple stay in my house,” the odd man had muttered, but he didn’t seem all too upset with them either way. Iwaizumi left a few thousand yen notes for the man to make up for the trouble that they had caused, and also to excuse the fact that he really wasn’t sorry for what he did. Oikawa was right; he really did have a bad guilty conscience.

But how could he really bring himself to feel bad when last night, he had thought that there was no hope for a relationship between him and Oikawa only to be proven wrong. There was nothing but pure joy seeping through Iwaizumi's mind and body.

“Something is different about you two,” Hanamaki muttered, watching Iwaizumi and Oikawa suspiciously. They were currently sitting in the gym at Aoba Johsai, watching a practice match between their former team and Dateko Tech. Iwaizumi and Oikawa had reached home for their break only to be met by Hanamaki and Matsukawa at the bus terminal who had dragged them straight to their old high school without a chance to put their bags down.

“No there isn’t,” Oikawa huffed defensively.

“I’m going to have to agree with Makki,” Matsukawa agreed. Half his attention was trained on the game while the other half was trained on Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

“What’s different?” Iwaizumi asked, knowing full well he was going to regret indulging them.

“Well for one, you haven’t yelled at Oikawa all day, even when he threw his bag at you without so much as asking you to carry it for him. Then, you didn’t swat him off when we were waiting to sign into the school and he leaned all his weight on you. Plus, he’s been saying ‘Iwa-chan’ about every ten seconds, which is kind of impressive, even for him, but also really disturbing,” Hanamaki counted off.

Iwaizumi coloured, not having realized he was already treating Oikawa differently.

“You’re together,” Matsukawa concluded. Iwaizumi choked on his own spit as Oikawa swivelled his head to completely face his friends.

“What?” he asked. Iwaizumi might have felt offended by his tone were it not for the fact that he was thinking the same thing.

“Agreed,” Hanamaki added. “Don’t think I also didn’t notice the hand brushing between your seats. You aint slick,” he laughed, high-fiving Matsukawa.

Iwaizumi looked to Oikawa expectedly. They hadn’t actually confirmed what their relationship was and it was awkward for him to agree with their friends if Oikawa didn’t feel the same way.

As if reading Iwaizumi's mind, “Ugh, you suck Makki. You’re too good at figuring things out. There's no fun in that,” Oikawa whined.

“Hey, what about me?” Matsukawa interjected.

“You just hopped on Makki’s deduction. You get zero points,” Oikawa huffed. Matsukawa gave him a look of mock offense but Oikawa wasn’t looking at him. He was staring straight at Iwaizumi, a sudden nervousness visible on his face.

Iwaizumi smiled, taking Oikawa’s hand between his own and squeezing lightly. “I agree with Oikawa: you suck,” he laughed.

“No,” Matsukawa corrected. “You suck…”

“Oikawa’s dick,” Hanamaki finished, and the two of them high-fived again, standing up in their seats and running away from Iwaizumi’s swinging fist and Oikawa’s very red face.

“That’s not funny!” Oikawa screeched. Iwaizumi was already running after Hanamaki and Matsukawa, pulling Oikawa along with him, never thinking to let go of his hand. The game they had been watching had just finished and the teams were talking to one another, exchanging their final words.

“Hey everyone, listen up!” Hanamaki shouted, having reached the gym floor. The teams turned to face him, a look of joy gracing the second and third years of Aoba Johsai when they recognized their former senpai.

“Oikawa and Iwaizumi are dating, so everyone go congratulate them!” he ordered. To Iwaizumi’s chagrin, the gym erupted in clapping and shouts of ‘congratulations!’ He felt the blood rush to his face as his former teammates and some new faces surrounded them, clapping them on the back and ruffling their hair.

Despite the embarrassment, Iwaizumi couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across his face. He also couldn’t help it when he pulled Oikawa close to him, red-faced and ecstatic, keeping their hands entwined. And when he heard chants of ‘Kiss, kiss, kiss!’ most likely started by Hanamaki and Matsukawa, Iwaizumi didn’t hold back or think about anything other than showing anyone he could just how much he wanted Oikawa to be his.

So maybe their friendship was unlikely and a relationship was just preposterous; but Oikawa Tooru had always been one in a million and if anyone could make it happen, it was him. Iwaizumi had just been lucky enough to be pulled into the wonderful, beautiful boy’s orbit.