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Red, The Color of an Enduring Flame
Garnet, The Color of a Dying Ember
Forevermore, that was how long he would be with Germany. He thanked god everyday for this second chance at love, at having a soulmate. Somehow, against all obstacles, he and Ludwig defied fate and had one another. As he knelt at the church’s alter he gave his thanks for this blessing. Thankful that he had had the new opportunity but also that he had been so loved already by the Holy Roman Empire.
‘Holy Rome,’ he thought as he knelt. Oh, how the thought of the loss of his first beloved still pained him. Even as centuries had passed his love for the Holy Roman Empire remained. With Germany though the pain was buried under heaps of happiness so that only the good memories of his first soulmate remained. He could never erase Holy Rome, nor would he want to, but he was far enough gone now that he was happy with moving on and hoped that Holy Rome would approve from heaven. ‘I hope you’re happy up there with Grandpa Rome and that I have your blessing.’
Veneziano continued to kneel in prayer. It was the night before his wedding and while he had so much to be happy about he was feeling stress. He hadn’t felt such pressures in a long while and he didn’t understand the many other painful emotions he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. It was nigh unbearable at times. One moment he would feel the greatest joy he’s ever known only to be crippled by new unknown emotions in the next. Then that too would abruptly fade and he would feel empty. Such an occasion had only ever occurred once before but he had had Romano then.
So he knelt in prayer before his wedding night looking for guidance from anyone who would listen. While he didn’t necessarily believe in the scriptures, the Church had been, and still was, a major part of his culture. He took comfort in the familiarity of the ritual of prayer and continued to do so a while more. When no answers were forthcoming he finished with a sigh.
As he left the cathedral he walked home. He walked to the home he had shared with his brother on the outskirts of Rome. It was made for them at their reunification. While they both had kept their own personal homes in their respective regions from earlier times this was the one they both now lived. They had taken to sharing home and hearth for over a century. It was a sign that they had grown closer. It was a symbol of their relationship.
Veneziano sighed as he came home to an empty house. He hadn’t seen his brother since before his engagement and he hadn’t even noticed it at first. When he got engaged he stayed at Germany’s house for two months with barely a word to Romano about what was going on. When it was time for him to go home he had thought he would be greeted with smell of pasta cooking and curses for his newly betrothed. What he came home to was an overgrown garden with tomatoes rotting on the vine, a layer of dust, and scattered wine bottles throughout the kitchen. All of them were empty.
The only way he knew that Romano left voluntarily, even leaving behind his tomato garden, was a note amongst the wine bottles.
“Congratulations on your engagement to that damned potato bastard. I’m done. I can’t. Goodbye. –Lovino Vargas”
The handwriting had started out harsh with thick lines but grew softer by the ending as if his brother had just given up. His brother had finally given up on him and he was never coming back. That was when the first pains had started. He had only felt such sharp pain in his chest when he had lost Holy Rome. But he had had Romano then to take that pain away. Now, he felt like he lost a part of himself, something that, like Holy Rome, was irreplaceable.
“Holy Rome, Romano- Lovino,” he cried to himself that night.
The next day he had thought to go to Lovino’s original home. Maybe he could convince his brother to return to him, and maybe not all hope was lost. He knew that his brother had maintained and updated his home every so often for when he needed an escape. If there was anywhere his brother would be it would be his home of centuries, centuries before him, and even now when he was too much. It was then that he realized that he didn’t know where it was. He had never been and he had never thought to ask.
Lovino knew where his original home was. Romano had lived with Veneziano for a time when Holy Rome died to care for him. Lovino was more caring and attentive than anyone ever gave him credit for. No one knew him or saw past his gruff and abrasive exterior like Feliciano did. While even he had trouble getting close to Lovino at times he would never forget whose arms he cried into for years after Holy Rome went to heaven. He would never forget how it felt to be close to whole again in his arms. The comfort of his only brother helping him weather the storm. So, yes, Lovino was hard to get close to at times but when it mattered he was there and that made it worth everything.
Lovino was an irreplaceable part of himself and now he was gone.
Feliciano didn’t know where his brother was and as the months passed no one else had heard from him either. The only way he knew that he was alive were the weekly packages their boss received of Romano’s share of completed paperwork. Through his mafia connections Lovino was able to make his packages untraceable.
Yet time marched forward as it always does and life went on. While the hurt would come and go time progressed until it was finally the day of the wedding. Feliciano was still mostly happy as was normal. While Ludwig’s arms were not the same as Lovino’s when the bouts of sadness took him they had a different feeling of completeness to them. Ludwig’s arms were safe and sturdy where Lovino’s had been comforting and soft. Tomorrow though, those safe and sturdy arms would be his forever.
The day had come and the wedding was to be held at the Vatican as Vatican City was to preside over the ceremony. Since they were nations, normal marital constrictions did not apply to them. They were not human, no matter how much they appeared to be, and so, according to the Church, they were not bound by god’s will to mortals. The pope even gave his blessing to the union.
Nations had a very special ceremony to bond soulmated nations. While bonding was typically used synonymously with marriage it was not necessarily so since not all soulmates were romantic in nature. A bonding was a ceremony that ensured that the souls would never part come what may. That they would always be there for the other in whatever capacity. They would know everything about one another as their souls permanently merged. It was very intimate. However, if one person were to die the person left behind would be but half a person, their souls were forever intertwined even if one passed on. It was very tragic.
Due to the intense nature of the bonding only two had even been done in recorded history between two nations that could also be confirmed. There were tales, fairytales, of nations who had mortal loves and gave up their nationhood to forever be with their other half. Their nations would, without exception, peak but then quickly fall to ruin. Their people would fall into diaspora and they would fall from memory. However, these were just old stories told to warn young nations of the folly of following mortality. While the stories only explicitly warned against mortal love there was the underlying current of warning against bonding to anyone. To make your nation reliant upon another on a permanent basis was a risky business. The warnings were effective and now there was only one nation old enough to remember the last bonding of a nation.
The lore and ceremony had been kept alive for if there ever were a need for it. All knew the ceremony by heart as it was taught alongside the warning tales. For while it could be tragic it was also the secret hope of many young nations that they would defy the odds. That they would be lucky enough to find their soulmate in one of the other nations. That they would be one of the few who would be able to spend longer than a mortal life with the one who completes you, that gives your life vibrancy.
All of the nations, regardless of political tensions, gathered in Vatican City to witness such a legendary event. Most of them had even brought their bosses along, not wanting to miss out in the history of the event. They all gathered merrily to witness such a rare and joyous union. Germany and North Italy had been the topic of much gossip the world over. Their story had the beginnings of legend about it. Already, the tragedy of the Holy Rome and Veneziano had worked its way into the classic soulmate literature. After many years, the joyous story of Germany and Veneziano had been added to the traditional tragedy. And after today there would be a happy conclusion to the epic that spanned centuries.
After everyone arrived and were settled it was time to begin. It was a bright day and everyone had a matching disposition. No one noticed a shadow in an alcove towards the back of the basilica.
It was a short ceremony that consisted of declarations of intent, vows, and a kiss to seal the union. What truly mattered was the intent of those being bonded. No words could truly express what was felt and so long as there was an outward expression of that oath the particular words didn’t really matter. It was said that when the two nations truly bonded, the moment of their bonding a cocoon of light would engulf them for a moment. A visual representation of their souls uniting so powerful even those who could not see colors would be able to see them for that brief moment. It was the blessing and the magic of the Earth made visible.
Germany was the first to say his vows.
“Italy, Veneziano, Feliciano,” Germany’s eyes softened at the use of Veneziano’s human name. Human names were only used by those who were extremely close and intimate. It was only proper he use it at their wedding.
“You are the one who makes my life worth living. I had been lost and blind without you. Even as I could see, I could not make meaning of anything. It made me a horrible person who disregarded the softer side of things and take my gift for granted. All I saw was the need for power, power to fill the void that I didn’t even know I was trying to fill.
“Then you came and you changed me. It was slow but eventually we made it through the wars and tragedy brought upon us by my own misguided doings. I hurt us so badly that even now I still wonder what I did to earn your forgiveness. You truly are the only balm who heals my soul in ways I could never comprehend. You fill the void of unknown depths.
“You alone in this whole world are the most important person to me. None others could ever compare to you and the untamable joy you give me.
“To you I promise that I will forever be by your side. That no other will catch my eye for you are my whole world. You make me whole and I will always try to be better for you. I take you for my soul’s mate. Forever and always, Veneziano, I will be yours. So mote it be.” Germany concluded solemnly.
Veneziano’s eyes were filled with tears of pure happiness at Germany’s words. No one had yet to notice the shadow in the back. Nor did they notice that as Veneziano’s eyes filled with tears of joy, the shadow’s eyes filled with matching tears of pure sorrow.
“Germany, Ludwig, you make me strong. You give me the strength I do not have alone. After,” Veneziano paused to take in a shaky breath and gather strength, “After, Holy Rome died I thought that my life had no more purpose.
“But you came along and you made me more, made me be more, than I thought I could ever be again. You alone lifted me from my nothingness.”
The shadow in the back fell to his knees at these words. Betrayal and grief stabbed him, stabbed him to the core. The hood he was wearing to cover his face fell to reveal Romano as Veneziano continued his vow.
“I’m not great with words like you are but with you I feel like when you make pasta perfectly and share it with all of your loved ones. I feel at peace and like I’m truly coming home when I am with you. You are patient and kind and make me a better person although I know it must be hard at times.
“To you I vow to be with you always so that you can see how you make me stronger. So that you know all of your time and your patience and your love has been worth the while. I promise to never stray and by yours alone. I take you for my soul’s mate. Forever and always, Germany, I will be yours. So mote it be.”
There wasn’t a dry eye in the audience as Vatican City said the final words to seal the union.
“In front of the world, do you, Germany, wish to bond with Italy for all time and be bound to the other’s fate?”
“I do,” Germany said, his eyes locked with Veneziano’s. They were soft and uncharacteristically open with vulnerability.
“In front of the world, do you, Italy, wish to bond with Germany for all time and be bound to the other’s fate?”
“I do! I do! I do!” An excited exclamation was the reply.
“I don’t.” A mournful whisper was the reply.
“You may now kiss to seal this vow forevermore.”
They kissed.
It was tender.
It was sweet.
Nothing happened.
The ceremony was not complete.
The two broke their kiss and opened their eyes to confusion. There was silence.
“I don’t,” was whispered again to combat the silence. No one heard it as the words were too low.
“I don’t,” Barely above a whisper and still too silent to be heard. In the shadows Romano lifted his head in defiance to fate.
“I don’t,” A low voice, lost amongst the quiet murmuring that had begun to spread. He got off of his knees to stand tall.
“I don’t,” A normal speaking voice, lost once more, this time due to Veneziano’s heart wrenching sob. He took the first step onto the aisle that had just been used by the now confused couple.
“I don’t,” His voice was gaining volume now as he slowly made his way down towards his soulmates. He was starting to grab and hold the attention of the audience as he went into the light. There were gasps as they realized who he was. Germany was now holding his crying betrothed.
“I don’t!” He was full on yelling now. As he made about halfway down the hall most of the attention was now on Romano. His pace was quick and within a few seconds he was at the foot of altar where they stood. He stood his ground. His feet wide apart as he railed against all that was known. No one could stop him now, no one could move him.
“I DON’T!” The volume of his final yell was so loud that Romano’s voice cracked and went hoarse. The physical pain that he may have been was nothing compared to the emotional pain that radiated from the man. He captured the entire hall’s attention, especially Germany’s and Veneziano’s.
“I don’t,” he said calmly as he looked straight into Germany’s eyes. The eyes were the windows to the soul and he had to make sure that his message went deep. They stared at one another for what felt like eternity but was truly only a few seconds. There was a soft sadness there that Germany couldn’t place before they were interrupted.
“Fratello! I’ve been so worried! But what are you saying?” Veneziano all but flew from Germany’s arms to embrace his brother who he had been missing. Upon hearing Veneziano’s confusion any softness in Romano’s eyes was lost as his expression turned harsh. He pushed his brother off of him.
“I said, I don’t! I don’t, I don’t, I don’t! I do not agree to this bonding and I never will, dammit!” His voice was hoarse from his earlier yell but still his voice broke. It broke until he started manically laughing and sobbing both.
A madness seemed to take Romano. It hurt to say those words but he finally had a say that mattered. They finally had to listen to his words. It hurt, it hurt so much that he knew he broke at his own utterances, but he finally had said them and they had listened. In this madness he had finally broke free.
Prussia felt a sense of foreboding at these words, that laugh. Just out of reach he felt a memory of a night not that long ago escape him.
“What do you mean, fratello?” Veneziano all but cried out. He was distressed about the bonding not happening and now his brother was here but he had seemingly lost his senses.
Romano ignored Veneziano again to once more stare down Germany. Hard eyes were on both sides of that stare. Romano’s eyes were filled with fire as he glared at the soulmate that had never even given him the time of day to properly reject him because he was worth so little in his eyes. Apathy, apathy was truly the opposite of love and Romano knew that’s what he was to the man, nothing. Germany’s eyes were ice cold as he glared down at the interloper to his marriage. A man who he would have nothing to do with if he weren’t his love’s brother.
“What have you done, Romano?’ Germany practically growled. Romano involuntarily flinched before finding the resolve to continue standing strong.
“What have I done?” Romano said, and then repeated incredulously, “What have I done? I have only done what you’ve been doing to me for many centuries, you damned potato bastard.”
At these words Prussia’s stomach dropped. He couldn’t have known, could he?
“Centuries? We barely met at the beginning of World War One. What claims could you have against me that spans longer than our acquaintance?”
Romano sharply turned his head to Prussia, who had been standing near Germany in the best man position.
“You’ve never told him? Then I will.” He turned his attention back to Germany as Prussia started, “Please, don’t-”
“Holy Roman Empire, I saw through you back then and I see through you now as Germany. Once a potato bastard, always a potato bastard. My grievances did not die with your reformation, nor did they die when my colors were restored!” His tone was harsh as he condemned the man in front of the world.
There was a collective gasp from all of the European nations. Germany’s mouth hung open at the revelation of his true creation and Veneziano looked at Germany with a new light in his eyes.
“You rejected me then, dismissed me as if I was nothing. I tried to get your attention but I might as well have been a ghost when Feliciano was in the room. When you, ‘died,’ I cried in silence for all we never were while having to be strong for my other half. There was no comfort for me as I had to keep darkness from consuming all that we are. When you came back it might as well have been 300 years earlier. I tried again, and again I am nothing to you.” Romano paused to gather himself.
“So, I will stay nothing to you. I have live my whole life without you and so I will live my whole life more without you. I know I do not need you so I do not accept your bond. I don’t. This is my vow to you, Germany. So mote it be.” His words were harsh but they were belied by the underlying depression that Romano had felt for centuries.
“Ve~, ve~, Lovino it is me he’s marrying though, not you!” Feliciano said, not understanding what was happening.
“Feliciano, how do you never remember? Why am I nothing to you as well? Is our bond so meaningless, fratello? We are the same.” Lovino said softly as he extended a hand out towards his brother.
Feliciano’s eyes widened in some understanding before tentatively grabbing his brother’s hand. He knew what was coming as his brother carefully pulled him closer. Lovino gently held him as he softly tapped their foreheads. As a bright flash enveloped them Feliciano knew this would be the last time they were Feliciano and Lovino to one another. When the flash faded there was now one man standing where there had been two.
It was a man none in the room had ever seen before but he looked very familiar. He had the bearing of a younger Rome with a more boyish face and two hair twirls rather than one. He had a small but sincere smile on his face as he adopted a relaxed stance.
“Ciao everyone, I am the true representation of the Republic of Italy.”
The whispering started immediately.
“How could this be?” “Where are Veneziano and Romano?” “What’s going on?” “How is this possible?” Questions were being asked from all around as the murmuring grew louder.
“Quiet, quiet, all will be explained in time,” Italy said and then turned to Germany.
He calmly walked to the weary man. Too much had been revealed and happened in too short of a time for Germany to fully process what was happening anymore. Now a handsome man, dare he say even more handsome than his Feliciano, was walking towards him with love and caution in his eyes. When Italy reached him he gently cradled Germany’s face in his hands.
"Who are you? I need to know who you are." Germany whispered, scared and excited for the answer. So much had happened and this man, this man, just appeared and he had fallen. He didn't know that it was in him do such a thing. Those eyes, he could get lost in those eyes as the saw through him.
“Germany, Ludwig, our-my, beloved. Truly, I love you but you do not love me. I am Italy and my name is Remus but you can not love me. I am what they should have been but, now, never will be. You must love both of them to have the whole and you don’t." Germany made a move to reply but Italy quietly shushed him.
“ You think you can but you already have shown you can't. True, I am joy, and love, and inspiration, and even pasta, but it is also true that I am tragedy, and heartache, dreams that will never be. I am happiness and anger both. I am what is left of my grandfather, I am his ruin and I am a rebirth in a new civilization. My extremes are too much for me to be whole without guidance, without the grounding of a soulmate, without you. So, today is my final day as I leave you. After today Romano will leave and put his pain behind him. My two halves will never unite again and so I will never come to accept you.
“This I swear to you, to myself, and this shall be our punishment. None of us will ever feel complete. After today Romano will never again look upon your face with love. Now that you know you are lacking it will sear you to the soul that the emptiness you feel will never truly be gone. That void you have plastered over is deeper than you ever realized, it has depths that not even Veneziano can reach and it will break you.
“Romano, never knowing your love or the love of a soulmate will be able to fill the void within for he will never have known anything different to compare. As he moves on this too will be your punishment. To see your love forever out of reach. So mote it be.
“Goodbye, my Holy Roman Empire, my Germany, my Ludwig."
Italy placed a chaste kiss on Germany’s lips to seal his vow. As Germany moved to deepen the kiss and hold on to this man he barely began to know but knew he needed to be closer with, Italy stepped back.
Italy took a few more steps back and gave a small sad wave before another flash took him away forever. In his place was Veneziano on his hands and knees crying. Next to him stood Romano, tall and resolute.
“Now you know and can never dismiss me again. Now you know and I deny you. I deserve better, dammit. Goodbye, potato bastard.” Romano gave him one last hard look before turning and started to walk away back down the aisle.
Germany took a few steps forward before stumbling and falling to a knee next to Veneziano. They clung to one another as Romano continued his steady walk away.
“Romano- Lovino! Please, wait!” Germany said desperately, his arm reaching out beseechingly.
Romano’s pace never changed nor did he look back as he continued to leave. The clanging of the basilica’s doors was deafening as they shut.
Romano was free now. There were no more pretenses or secret pining. He was done, he was free to move on, and he was able to just be.
He eventually made it to his ancestral home and started to work on his tomato garden with a bottle of wine nearby. It was silent and that suited him just fine. This was the beginning of the life he truly wanted to live.