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Jeremy fidgeted nervously while he waited for Matt to arrive at the coffee shop. He wondered if this was the best idea. He needed to talk to Matt and maybe it would be better if they didn't bring up the subject in public. But he also needed some reassurance that Matt would be seen with him in public. With what had happened the night before, Jeremy wouldn't be surprised if Matt decided it was a mistake and decided never to speak to him again.
But Matt had told Tyler about it. And Tyler made it sound like Matt wasn't having a problem with it. But then there was what happened between Jeremy and Tyler. Jeremy knew he needed to tell Matt, and he really hoped that the revelation wouldn't be enough to change Matt's mind about this whole thing. In the past few hours, Jeremy had realized he really did want to be with Matt. It was totally a case of his entire world changing overnight.
Jeremy was on his third cup of coffee when Matt arrived. He wasn't normally a coffee drinker, but he needed to do something while he waited. He relaxed a bit when he saw Matt's smile, but by the time Matt was sitting across from him, he nerves were back and seemed more intense than before. He waited for Matt to order something before saying anything.
"Hi." That was all Jeremy managed to get out. He had so many things he wanted to say, and he knew if he said anything more in that moment, he would say them all at once.
Matt grinned back at him. "Hey. How was your morning?"
"Not bad," Jeremy answered, welcoming the question as a distraction. "It was nice that the house was quiet. Gave me time to think."
"Oh? What were you thinking about?"
Jeremy looked up at him and frowned. "I think you know..."
"Well, yeah. I guess I meant more specifically." Matt's smile faded into a look of concern. "I guess I should have said 'What was the result of that thinking?'"
Jeremy suddenly wished they hadn't gone to this place so quickly. He was hoping for a bit more random conversation before cutting right to the chase. "Matt, I--" Jeremy looked at the tables around them. He was now regretting the idea of meeting in a public place. It wasn't that he would be embarrassed to tell anyone he and Matt were together - if that's what they mutually decided - but he wasn't keen on pouring out his feelings around a group of strangers.
"Maybe we should go somewhere else," Matt suggested. "Easier to talk where we aren't surrounded by eavesdroppers, I think. My truck's just outside." Jeremy nodded. He went to the counter and paid their check before following Matt out to his truck.
After they climbed inside and Matt pulled out of the parking lot, Jeremy turned to look at him. "Everything I said last night? Even though it was all said in the moment, this morning I realized that I really did mean every word. As soon as I got home, I wanted to turn back around and come find you. I don't know where these feelings came from, but they feel right."
Matt put his hand in Jeremy's. "Same here." He pulled off into an alley and parked. "I hope you don't get upset with me, but I couldn't help telling Tyler this morning. Apparently I was smiling a bit too brightly this morning or something and he knew there was a story. And even though last night I was thinking 'I can never tell anyone about this', I actually felt kind of proud to tell him about it. About you. About us."
Jeremy stared at their interlocked hands and was quiet for a moment. "So, you want to give this a shot? See what happens?"
Matt leaned over and kissed his forehead. "I do. I don't know how this is supposed to go. But it's new to both of us, so I guess we'll just figure it out together."
"Yeah," Jeremy whispered still staring at their hands. He suddenly pulled his hand away and turned to stare out the passenger window.
"Is everything okay, Jer?"
Jeremy didn't answer. He just continued looking out the window, taking deep breaths.
Matt leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong? It this too much? I don't want to you to feel any pressure. You can tell me if you'd rather we just forget about it."
"It's not that," Jeremy responded softly, turning his head to look at Matt once more. "It's-- Matt, I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" Matt turned off the truck and shifted in his seat so he was facing Jeremy.
"Well-- Tyler came by this morning and he told me he knew about us."
Matt's eyes widened. "What did he do? He didn't make fun of you, did he? Or make you uncomfortable asking for details? I said I was telling him in confidence. Damn it."
Jeremy shook his head. "No, he actually was rather cool about it. Said he was supportive and wanted to make sure I knew that. But then-- Well, he said some things that made me think. And I know now that he was probably just manipulating me. That's Tyler for you. But anyway, he asked me whether it was just you I was interested in or guys in general and how I knew. We talked for a bit and by the end of the conversation, I--" Jeremy took in and let out another deep breath. Tears started to well up in his eyes. "I gave Tyler head. And I feel bad because of everything we talked about last night and I knew I wanted to be with you. It feels like cheating even if we weren't officially together."
Matt stared at him for a moment and then moved his hand from Jeremy's shoulder to the back of his head. "Jer, don't feel bad. As Tyler's best friend, I'll be the first to confirm that he's a manipulative bastard sometimes. Well, most of the time, really. And you're right that we hadn't had this conversation yet, so nothing was really official." He smiled and pulled Jeremy into a hug. "And I don't blame you at all for taking the opportunity to answer some lingering questions."
Jeremy pulled out of the hug and looked up at Matt's face. "You're not upset?"
"Not at you," Matt answered. "But Tyler's going to get his next time I see him." He kissed Jeremy and then settled back in front of the steering wheel. "So, where should we go for our first official date?"
"You choose," Jeremy suggested with a grin. "It's only fair since last night was on me."
"You're not going to expect me to live up to that, are you?" Matt asked as he turned the key and put the truck into gear.
"Maybe after," Jeremy laughed. "But we should really eat first."
Matt pouted and glanced in Jeremy's direction. "Do we have to?"
"Well, no, but I expect we'll need to keep our energy up tonight."
"Point very well taken." Matt put his free hand on Jeremy's. Jeremy looked down at it and smiled. With everything that had gone wrong in the past few months, he finally had something that felt right. And he intended to do whatever it took to keep it.