Work Text:
"I don't think I've ever been this drunk," James Potter said.
"S'good whiskey," Bobby Singer said. James nodded his head in agreement.
"Almost as good as Firewhiskey," he said.
"Definitely better than that swill Spike drinks," Angel said. He'd been drinking so heavily that his original Irish accent was bleeding through.
"Spike's a weird name," James said.
"Spike's a weird guy," Angel said. "Stupid childer, never do what I tell 'em, any of 'em, but Spike's the worst."
"Childer?" James asked.
"You wouldn't happen to be a vampire would you?" Bobby asked.
"Yeah, why?"
Bobby nailed Angel in the heart with a thrown stake, while James cast a cutting curse at Angel's neck. Angel burst into dust, and the remaining two men eyed each other."
"Hunter?" James asked.
"Yeah, and what're you?"
"An auror. Dark wizard catcher. Well," James leaned in close, "don't tell anyone, but I haven't been very successful in catching them. They keep having terrible accidents on the way to a holding cell."
"Accidents, huh?"
"One guy tripped and went head first into a toilet and drowned. Don't know how it got there, the toilet; it was just sitting there, in the middle of the hallway." James discreetly waved his wand and a toilet appeared in the middle of the floor. "Kinda like that. Another one was suddenly crushed when a piano dropped on his head." James lifted his wand.
"Don't you be dropping pianos on anyone in here. I'd like to come back," Bobby said.
"Right. And another guy had a horrifying encounter with a squirrel."
"A squirrel?"
James nodded solemnly, "I will never look at squirrels the same way again after what it did to that guy."
"Don't summon it here."
"Don't plan too. Way too horrifying. I'd like to take credit for it, but it was Lily."
"Lily?"
"My wife. My wonderful, beautiful wife. My pregnant wife, who was very angry at my being forced to be late to our anniversary dinner."
"Ah."
Ducky finally returned with the next round of drinks. He looked at Angel's dust covered chair, and back at the other two.
"Where'd that Irish fellow get off too?"
"He left," Bobby said, at the same time James said, "He disappeared. It was like magic."
Ducky looked between the two of them and then began speaking, "You know, this reminds me of a time in..."