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Chapter Text

Carson Phillips hated Clover, that was no secret. In fact, he despised it and everyone in it. Well, except for his mother, Elizabeth, his super rich stepfather Clayton, the maid Ellen, his grandmother and his only friend Malerie Baggs.

His life goal was leaving Clover. How? Getting into the university of his dreams, Northwestern. But not this. Never this.

His grandmother passed away in her sleep one night. The next thing Carson knew was Ellen packing his stuff in his room.

“Ell?” Carson had asked, “What are you doing?”

“Packing, Carson,” Ellen had smiled back weakly, “Hasn’t your mother told you yet? We’re moving!”

Carson had run downstairs, screaming for an explanation.

“Clayton has a new position, honey,” his mother had said, “It’s in Lima, Ohio.”

Weeks had passed. Carson had said his goodbyes to Malerie and, ugh, even his fellow school council members. He had sent the literally magazine to Northwestern. It was time. 

Carson had been in Lima for two days now. It was time to attend his new high school. It was stupid though. It was his senior year and he dropped in in the middle of the year.

William McKinley High School was nothing like Clover High. The hallways were actual hallways and not some trenches. Even on burrito day.

He looked down on his time table. History, he thought, oh fine please kill me now.

McKinley was also twice as big so it took him over fifteen minutes to find the fucking classroom. He went inside and a man with horrible curled hair smiled at him.

“Ah, you must be the new student, Carson Phillips,” he said warmly and walked over. Oh my god get away from me you fucking predator! “I am Will Schuester.” Yes, fine, nobody cares.

“Principal Figgins told me about you, please sit down. I was talking about the project.” Great, Carson did an initial eye roll, let’s start with a project. That’s just amazing.

He nodded to an empty seat in the back. “Is that seat vacant?” Mr. Schuester nodded. Carson quickly took a seat and eyed the kid next to him. He smelled homeless.

~

Kurt never really cared about the transfer McKinley students – except Blaine, of course – but the new kid, Carson Phillip or something, caught his eye.

Well, actually, he caught Mercedes’s eye.

“Oh my god, hon,” she said and motioned to Carson, who was listening to Mr. Schue, “The kid looks like you.”

Kurt, who was talking to Quinn, turned around and his jaw almost hit the ground. Oh my god.

He quickly recovered. “Ugh, yes, but his taste of clothing” he said and rolled his eyes dramatically, “Too much blue.”

Quinn tapped on his shoulder. “Kurt, you’re wearing blue.” Kurt quickly shushed her.

The Carson kid took the seat next to Stoner/Homeless Brett – Kurt felt sorry for him – and Kurt turned back to Mr. Schue.

“So, like I was saying, for the project you guys have to pair up,” Mr. Schue was cut short because the whole class started talking like crazy, “B-But, I’ve assigned your partners!” It went dead silent.

He read the names of the students and their assigned partners out loud. Then, it was Kurt’s turn. “We were with twenty-nine students. I originally made an expectation for one trio: Kurt, Brett and Puck, but now with Carson we have thirty students. So, let’s say… Carson Phillips and Kurt Hummel.”

Well.

“So, for the project you all have to choose one historical hero or heroine and write an essay about them. The essay must be at least twenty-thousand words long and it must cover the following topics…” Mr. Schue wrote some things down, but Kurt kept staring at Carson.

Carson really looked like him, only Kurt’s hair had highlights and it defied gravity. Carson’s was, in Kurt’s opinion, extremely dull and he really needed a haircut.

And really, the amount of blue was unhea- oh wait, Kurt was wearing blue.

Carson looked up and their eyes met. Kurt’s widened and he gasped. He quickly turned away. “Good, now please sit next to your partner,” Mr. Schue said, “You guys have two months. Good luck, kids.”

Kurt heard Quinn sigh. “I hate it when he calls us ‘kids’,” she mumbled. She stood up and walked to her partner. Mercedes winked at Kurt and did the same.

“Kurt, right?” Carson was standing next to him.

~

This was weird.

This was extremely weird.

That Kurt kid really looked like him. When their eyes met, Kurt quickly turned away, so Carson didn’t have enough time to analyse. But standing next to him and seeing the resemblance, it was weird.

Kurt extended his hand. “Kurt Hummel,” he said and Carson shook it.

“Carson Phillips.”

“We have ten more minutes left,” Kurt said, his eyes still locked on Carson’s. It freaked Carson out. “I propose you come over to my place tomorrow so we can work on it.” Carson nodded. Kurt quickly scribbled something down and handed the sheet of paper to Carson.

“What are we going to do now?” Carson took the seat next to Kurt.

Kurt shrugged. “Talk? Get to know each other?”

Oh great, it’s one of those kids.

“Hm,” Carson sighed, “Well, I’m Carson Phillips, moved here because Clayton had to get a new job, want to go to New York and that was it. How about you, pretty face?” he smirked.

“Well, if you want to play it like this, sweetie,” Kurt’s smirk was identical to Carson’s, “Kurt Hummel, lived here for my whole life, also want to go to the Big Apple and in case you haven’t noticed it yet, queer as a three dollar bill.”

“Straight, slash unidentified, slash I don’t give a fuck,” Carson replied, “Who needs love when you have a dream?”

“Well, what do you want to do in New York, then?” Kurt asked, “Except for my friend Rachel Berry and my boyfriend Blaine I’ve never met another New Yorker.”

“I want to be the editor of the New Yorker and other stuff,” Carson made a weird hand gesture, “But the New Yorker is my main priority. Have to go to Illinois first, though.”

“Northwestern?” Kurt asked and Carson was surprised he knew. Most people in Clover only knew the Clover Community College.

Carson nodded.

“My dream school is NYADA,” Kurt smiled.

The bell rang.

Chapter Text

Carson’s first day at school felt like every other day. He did see this weird kid wearing a button up and a bow tie staring at him like he was fucking Santa Claus and during lunch some jocks threw food at each other, but it was okay.

He missed Malerie though.

God, he even missed Claire Matthews and her bitchfork, the amount of gay Nicolas Forbes and Scott Thomas showed, Emilio’s fake accent, Vicki Jordan depressing everyone, Remy Baker’s bossiness and Dwight Michaels’s… whatever.

When he came home, he was greeted by Ellen.

“Hi Carson,” she smiled warmly. She used to call him ‘Master Carson’ but Carson made her stop. Ellen had been there since the very beginning. She was a good friend of Elizabeth Phillips. She started working for Clayton and introduced him to Carson’s mom.

They fell in love.

They got married.

Blah blah blah.

Ugh, love.

“Where’s mom?” Carson dropped his bag.

“She’s with Clayton to this conference,” Ellen said and served Carson his lunch.

“Of fucking course,” Carson said.

“Language, young man!” Ellen shot him a stern look, but smiled afterwards, “Now, what do you want for dinner?”

“Pizza?” it was the first thing on Carson’s mind.

“Pizza it is,” Ellen said, “I mean, is it okay if I order in? Your mom and Clayton won’t be back till-” “Yeah, yeah, get it. It’s okay.”

Ellen looked down. She quickly changed subjects. “How was school?”

“Boring.”

“Made new friends?”

“No.”

“Joined some clubs yet?”

“No.”

“You like your classes?”

“No.”

“Is it like Clover High?”

“No-”

“OKAY!” Ellen threw her hands in the air, “I give up.”

~

“Dad?”

“Yes kid,” Burt said.

“I invited this kid over for tomorrow,” Kurt started, “We have to work on this stupid project. Mr. Schue must’ve hit his head.”

“That bad?” Burt asked.

Finn, who walked in, nodded, “That bad. Puck managed to switch Brett with me.”

“You and Puck together?” Kurt quirked his eyebrow, “God help us all. Anyway, I’m upstairs, changing outfits. I don’t think blue is the colour right now.”

The next day, Kurt avoided blue. Carson, on the other hand, wore once again blue. “Please don’t tell me you have an after school activity to attend,” Carson rolled his eyes, “Do I have to wait for you, or what?”

“Yes, I have glee.”

“Glee?” Carson asked, “Like a choir?”

Kurt nodded. “It’s not that big, but it’s fun. Sectionals was just before Christmas!”

“Nice,” Carson sounded sarcastic.

“There’s the school newspaper,” Kurt pointed out, “the Muckraker. You should check it out. There’s also a writers club and I heard it needs a new president.” Carson looked up and he actually looked happy, delighted even. That was new.

The bell rang and they parted.

Kurt went straight to the choir room.

Fortunately, Quinn and Mercedes were already there. Kurt and Quinn weren’t best friend or anything,  but it was nice seeing her.

“How was Carson?” she asked. Kurt sighed and fell down in his chair. “Exhausting. I’ve only known him for one day and he just seems so uninterested.”

“Who seems uninterested?” Blaine entered the room with Mike. More glee clubbers arrived.

“Kurt’s long-lost twin brother,” Mercedes joked and Quinn playfully punched her in the shoulder. Kurt rolled his eyes.

“Long-lost twin?” Mike asked.

“Mercedes was joking, Michael,” Kurt said, “I don’t have a long-lost twin brother. Carson just looks a lot like me.”

“Is Carson that kid who wears a lot of blue?” Blaine asked and the girls nodded. Blaine’s eyes widened, like something suddenly made a lot of sense. “Oh, I saw him. For a split second I thought it was you!”

“Wait, so you mean that kid who ignored my high-five wasn’t you?” Sam looked shocked.

~

The so-called ‘Hudmel’ house wasn’t as big as Carson’s mansion. But well, not everyone was rich. A tall kid opened the door.

“Hey, you’re that Carson kid,” he said and stepped aside, “Come in. Kurt’s in the kitchen talking to Blaine on the phone.”

Carson nodded and entered the house. It was a lovely home. It wasn’t that big, but it felt right. Carson’s mansion was beautiful, but also quite dull. Only his new room felt like home and the study where Ellen often spent her free time.

“… is here. Love you. No, I love you more.”

Ugh, love.

Carson looked around. Kurt was sitting in the dining room and there was a blond guy napping on the couch in the small living room. And god, he was snoring.

“Oh, hi!” he nodded to the blond guy, “Ignore him, he’ll wake up soon.”

“Brother?” Carson asked. Kurt just laughed.

“Nah, the giant over there is my stepbrother. I mean, my mom died when I was a baby, but my dad remarried two years ago. Sam is just living here – long story.”

Interesting.

Not.

“Wait a sec,” Kurt turned to the stepbrother, “Finn, where’s dad?”

Finn, who was feeding himself some chocolate chip cookies, tried to speak. “Hs t your nt Jan.”

“Please, speak as a decent person,” Kurt sighed.

Finn swallowed the cookies and spoke again. “He’s at your aunt Jan. He’ll bring her here. Anyway, I’mma wake Sam up.”

“Okay, we’ll be upstairs!” Kurt said.

Carson just went with it. He followed Kurt upstairs to his room. The room was quite big. There were a lot of shelves, a mirror, a bed and a dresser. There was probably more behind the small wall.

They heard the front door open. Kurt and Carson were downstairs, having a little break. Burt Hummel and another woman were laughing and chatting. Carson turned away.

Kurt on the other hand leapt out of his seat and ran to the two adults. “Dad! Aunt Janine!”

Carson stopped listening and studied the kitchen. It was a normal kitchen. He liked the colours and holy shit what is happening to his brain?

Then, Kurt grabbed his arm and dragged him to his father and aunt. “And this is-”

“Carson?” Burt Hummel gasped.

He looked from Kurt, to Carson and back to Kurt. Then he turned to Janine, who also looked shocked. Both of them turned and ran away.

“What the fuck,” Kurt and Carson whispered in unison.

Chapter Text

It was unreal. When Kurt’s dad came home that night, it was like nothing had happened. He was sitting in the living room with Carole and aunt Jan.

“Kurt, honey, Samuel and Finn are upstairs,” Carole smiled sweetly.

“Uh, yes,” Kurt pointed to the door, “I was upstairs.”

It wasn’t that uncomfortable, but there was tension. Carole’s smile was genuine, Kurt saw that, but the way aunt Jan looked at him… it was new.

Kurt didn’t like it.

He tried to talk to his father, but he simply ignored him. Kurt was kind of desperate for information, hell he even asked Finn.

But after two weeks of nothing, he started playing along.

He did waste two whole weeks and they still needed a hero/heroine. So the next day, Kurt approached Carson. Carson was reading something that looked like a magazine

“Look Carson, we really need to work,” he said, “I know I’ve been absent because of glee, but I am free tomorrow after school.”

Carson closed the magazine and Kurt caught a glimpse of the cover. He saw a clover.

“I’ll text you the address,” he smiled weakly and walked away.

~

“Nothing yet?”

“No,” Carson groaned, “I need to get in, Mal, I need to.”

“I know, Carson,” Carson’s best friend sighed on the other side of the line, “But just… be patient, okay? How is Ohio?”

“Never knew I would say this, but I miss Clover,” Carson answered. He heard Malerie gasp loudly. “I know, Mal. Clover was boring, but there’s boring and there is boring.”

 Malerie didn’t respond so Carson assumed she didn’t understand.

“McKinley sucks and my mom is always out with the old man.”

“Santa?”

“No, Clayton. I mean, Ellen is at home and she has been there for me my whole life, but sometimes I need my mom. Or maybe my dad.”

“But your dad left when your mom was pregnant, right?” Malerie sounded confused.

“I know, but sometimes I crave for a father figure and I love Clayton dearly, but he is no father of mine.”

“I understand. Well, made some friends?”

“Nope,” Carson spat, “Why would I need friends? Once I get into Northwestern I’ll never see them again. I only need you.”

“Aaaw, but there’s no one?”

Suddenly, images of Kurt flashed through Carson’s mind in a non-romantic way, thank you. Carson had seen Kurt and that Hobbit of a boyfriend. They’re so in love, it’s disgusting.

They’re even gayer that Nicolas and Scott and they were, well, gay.

“There is this kid,” Carson said honestly, “I think he tries, but no, not my friend.” He needed to change the topic. He could feel Malerie pitying him.

“How’s Clover?”

“Same as always. Claire’s a bitch, Remy bosses everyone around… Hold on, Henry left! He went back to Spain, or that’s what the school said. Oh! Scott is out and proud. Nic… not really.”

Carson just nodded.

“Wow,” Kurt said when he entered the mansion. Carson rolled his eyes.

“We’ll work upstairs,” he said, “Ellen hasn’t prepared a meal for us because it’s her only day off. I bought some chips.”

“Ellen?” Kurt asked and he followed Carson upstairs.

Carson explained: “The maid, Ellen. She’s basically my second mom since… my birth actually. My dad left my mom while she was pregnant, so Ellen was there for her – I suspect she might have had a crush on my mom, but I don’t know if she loves women – and then she introduced my mom to my stepdad Clayton and why the fuck am I telling you all of this? Like you care.”

Kurt actually looked offended. “I care plenty,” he said.

“Sure,” Carson mumbled.

Carson opened the door to the study, but Kurt closed it angrily and leaned against it, preventing Carson from opening it.

“Look, Carson, I don’t give a damn about your whole ‘fuck the world’ attitude, but I need a good grade for history and I know that you need one too, because you’re a transfer student. I don’t give a flying fuck-” holy shit, pretty face curses, “- when we’re done. If you’ll refuse to talk to me, fine. But not now. Unfortunately, I need you and you need me, so we better work together and actually talk to each other. Agreed?”

Carson raised his hands in defence. “Claws in, kitty cat.”

 “Agreed?” Kurt asked sternly.

Carson did an initial eye roll. “Agreed.”

~

“He is so frustrating,” Kurt cried out.

“That bad?” Blaine asked. They were sitting in the Lima Bean. Or, well, Blaine was sitting, Kurt was half lying on the ground.

“You sure you don’t want to get up? I can help.”

Kurt just groaned.

“Yes, you can help me with Carson,” Kurt finally sat up and saw that people were staring at him, “I’m kind of hoping for a miracle to happen and believe it or not, but that miracle is Stoner Brett.”

Blaine stared at him, looking confused.

“I prefer working with Brett, Blaine, that means something, Blaine.”

“Maybe the two of you are too much alike and you clash?” Blaine shrugs and puts some more sugar in his Medium Drip, “Jeez, what is wrong with this Drip, what has the barista been smoking? This is the Lima Bean for god’s sake.”

Kurt was about to answer, but his phone beeped.

“Speaking of the devil,” Kurt sighed sharply, “Oh great, he wants me to come over tomorrow, again.”

Blaine’s shoulders slump. “You’re always at his. Regionals is in a few weeks, Kurt. We need to rehearse.”

“We both know what ‘rehearsing’ means,” Kurt smirked, “Oh please, you just want me for yourself.”

Kurt did go to Carson. The next day he went to Blaine to ‘rehearse’.

He also spent more time at Carson’s. He finally got to know the other boy. Of course, not totally, but there was progress. Carson had told him about his old friends and life in Clover and Kurt had told him about the New Directions.

A month had passed and there was one thing Kurt had noticed.

He hadn’t met Ellen yet. Or Carson’s mother. Or ‘the old man.’

Of course, Ellen was there the whole damn time and sometimes, Carson’s parents were home, but somehow Kurt always stayed upstairs.

Carson, on the other hand, went downstairs to greet his parents, or to help Ellen. Then he came back to the study with some drinks and snacks and that was that.

That all changed one day.

There were only two weeks left and they were almost done with their project about Jeanne D’Arc. Kurt had to go to the toilet, but the mansion was so damn big, he ended up being lost.

There was only one way out.

He had to go back to the main entrance. He knew the way from there. It took him only five minutes to find the main entrance. He sighed in relief.

Then he heard some plates clatter.

“Shit,” a woman hissed. Kurt stood there.

I should check if everything’s alright, he thought. He slowly opened the door and peeked.

A woman was standing there. She had long blonde hair, tied up in a bun. She was looking down to her hand, still swearing. Then she saw Kurt staring.

“Carson, oh god bless, please help me,” she basically pleaded, “I cut myself and it’s bad, really bad.” Kurt shot one glance to her hand and his eyes widened. There was a lot of blood. Kurt didn’t hesitate and ran to her. He didn’t even tell her that he wasn’t Carson.

“Oh, shit, that looks bad,” he said. Luckily, Carole had taught him a lot. He scanned the large and lavish kitchen and saw a first aid kit.

“Okay, hold your hand still,” he instructed.

The woman hissed. “Oh god, I am so stupid. I even told myself ‘No Ellen, don’t even try to do two things at the same time’ but I didn’t listen.”

Kurt nodded. So this is Ellen.

His mind went to autopilot and he followed all the tips Carole had told him. Ten minutes later and the bleeding stopped.

“Oh my god,” Ellen closed her eyes and sighed in relief. She opened her eyes and kissed Kurt’s forehead. “One, when did you highlight your hair, it looks nice. Two, where did you learn to do that, Cars?”

Kurt smiled and realized it was time to tell Ellen that he wasn’t Carson.

“Oh, I’ve had highlights for quite some time and my stepmom taught me,” he smiled.

Ellen looked at him playfully. “Cars, please.”

“Actually, I am not Carson. Hi,” he scrunched his face, “My name is Kurt.”

Ellen suddenly went pale.

Chapter Text

“Oh my god.” Ellen’s eyes filled with tears.

“It’s you,” she gasped and awkwardly put her arms around Kurt. Tears were streaming down my face. “It is you. I remember the day you were born like yesterday. Six pounds 11 ounces 21 inches long.”

She was hugging him firmly and Kurt had no idea what was going on. He just let her. “You’re so beautiful, so, so beautiful.” And more tears. She was crying on his vintage jacket.

The door opened again and a man and woman entered the room, laughing. “So beautiful,” Ellen whispered in his ear.

“Oh, Ellen, Carson, I didn’t know you were- is everything alright?” the woman asked.

“Ellen, Carson?” the man said.

“Oh, Clayton, look at him,” Ellen finally let go, “He is so beautiful. Just, look.”

“I see him, Ellen,” Clayton smiled and the woman, probably Elizabeth Phillips, looked sweetly at them, “He has grown so much.”

Ellen dried her tears. “Yes,” she sniffed, “Yes he has.”

“I like what you did with your hair, hon,” Elizabeth complimented Kurt, not knowing that it was not her son, but Kurt.

“Anyway, Ell, we came home to tell you two that we have to go to this emergency meeting with the board,” Clayton looked at her sadly, then he turned to Kurt, “Cars, we are so sorry.”

“Actually, I-”

“God, look at the time,” Clayton looked down at his watch and gasped, “Liz, we have to hurry.” Elizabeth kissed Kurt’s cheek and followed her husband.

Not two minutes later and Carson was downstairs.

“Was that the parental unit?” he asked shocked, “Are they home? And Kurt what the fuck man, where have you been?” To Kurt and Carson’s amazement, Ellen started crying again.

“Look at you two,” she said, “And yes, Cars, they were here, but they had an emergency meeting.”

“Oh,” Carson looked disappointed. It was one of those rare moments where he showed emotion. “Well, Kurt and I will be upstairs,” Carson shrugged.

Kurt had no choice but to follow Carson. He awkwardly waved to Ellen because what did just happen?

~

When Kurt left, Carson knew that there was something going on.

He sat down and Ellen served him dinner. “And here you go, for my favourite boy, his favourite food,” she smiled.

“Ellen?” he asked, “What happened down here?”

“What do you mean?” Ellen was so oblivious, as always.

“When my mom and the old man were here,” Carson said and started eating, “Was Kurt downstairs?”

“Don’t eat with your mouth full,” Ellen grunted disapprovingly, “And yes, he was downstairs, he helped me with…” she showed Carson her hand. “Apparently his…. well, stepmom is a nurse.”

“I know and his dad is a mechanic.”

Ellen looked at him weirdly. “You know?”

“Well, we’ve been working together for quite some times. He’s been coming over for weeks, but he always stayed upstairs. We are almost done. Six done, two more weeks to go.”

“And how did you meet him, honey?” Ellen sat down.

“School.”

“First day?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you friends?”

“Is this some kind of irrigation?” Carson exclaimed, “Did I something wrong? Did Kurt do something wrong?”

Ellen shrugged. “Curiosity. You’re finally interacting with your new peers. I have the right to be curious.”

“You’re being weird, Ell,” Carson sounded suspicious, “But well, his name is Kurt Hummel, he goes to McKinley, is in glee club, has a boyfriend, wants to go to New York and that is basically all I know.”

“Hummel?”

“Yes, his father is Burt Hummel, he’s a weirdo,” he laughed to himself.

“How that?” Ellen looked weirdly.

“I met him once, he saw me and basically ran away. Kurt’s aunt followed him.”

“Janny,” Ellen whispered.

“Excuse me?” did she just say Kurt’s aunt’s name?

“I said ‘yummy!’ The food is good, right?” Ellen faked a smile and went back to the kitchen.

What the actual fuck?

~

“Oh, look you’re finally online,” Blaine mumbled.

“Sorry, babe, I was at Carson’s-” “Of course.” “- and stuff happened. Also, do I detect a little bit of jealousy?” Kurt smirked.

“Oh you detect a lot of jealousy,” Blaine shrugged, “But yeah, two more weeks. But you were saying?”

Kurt looked around to make sure no one was around. His dad and Carole had to go to a party for Carole’s work, Sam stayed at Rachel’s for the week and Kurt suspected Finn was with them.

“Well…” he starts.

“You sure you want to do this?” Mercedes sat next to him in Quinn’s car. Quinn was driving them, Santana, and Blaine to aunt Janine’s house.

“Positive,” Kurt replied.

“Why am I here?” Santana whined. She sat in the passenger’s seat.

“If something goes wrong you can go Lima Heigh Adjecent on Janny,” Quinn explained.

“So, let me get this straight,” Santana shuffled in her seat, “You guys all think that there’s something between Kurt and Carson in a non-romantic way don’t look at me like that Bowtie-Suspender-Pants, jeez, and Kurt’s aunt has the answers?”

“We think so,” Mercedes said, “Remember how I joked about Carson being Kurt’s long-lost twin?”

“And now you guys believe it’s real?”

“They do look like each other,” Quinn pointed out.

“And Ellen started crying like crazy,” Kurt added.

Quinn stopped. “We’re here.”

Blaine kissed Kurt’s cheek. “Good luck.”

“We’ll stay in the car, call us if you need Santana,” Mercedes kissed his other cheek. Kurt nodded and got out of the car. He made his way to the door and rang the bell.

His uncle Paul opened the door.

“Kurt, hi, what a surprise!”

Kurt smiled weakly. “Hi uncle Paul, I’d love to chat but I need to talk to Janny.” Uncle Paul looked confused, but he let Kurt in.

“Jan?” he called out for aunt Janine, “Kurt is here for you!”

“In a minute!” aunt Janine screamed from upstairs.

So Kurt followed his uncle to their small living room and he got something to drink. Aunt Janine came in and smiled. “Kurt, what a surprise, what are you-”

“Who is Carson Phillips and why am I supposed to know him?”

Chapter Text

“You know, you’re not supposed to know him, but…” uncle Paul trailed off when he saw aunt Janine’s death glare.

“So you found out?” aunt Janine smiled weakly, “Your father and I were wondering what took you so long.”

“He knows about Carson?” uncle Paul asked amazed. Aunt Janine ignored him and sighed.

“Your parents met in Italy,” she started, “They fell in love and got engaged, but then your mother got pregnant. Twins!”

Uncle Paul groaned.

“They were so young and they – they just couldn’t do it. Suddenly, all the love was gone. I had to witness it, it was heart breaking. But your mom didn’t want to break off the pregnancy, she was not that religious, but religious enough. Your father and I stayed with her in Italy for six more months. Her best friend was there too.”

Ellen, Kurt thought.

“Then, you were born. Your parents both fell in love with the two of you, which made it all worse. We stayed for one more month and they made a decision. Liz moved to Clover with Carson and your dad went back to Lima with, well… you. I- I’m sorry?”

Kurt’s head was spinning. He heard his phone beeping several times, but he ignored it.

So it was all true. Carson was his stepbrother.

“But mom died? Carson’s father left when his mother was pregnant!” he pointed out. Uncle Paul refilled his glass.

“Lies,” aunt Janine simply said, “All lies. You were born in Italy, Kurt. You and Carson. Have you ever read your files?”

“Yes, but-” oh my god “…. No.”

“I- I understand,” Kurt gave in, “Thanks Janny, Paul, I guess I understand.”

“What do you want to know about your mom, we’ll tell you everything,” uncle Paul asked. Kurt almost spoke, but he knew his aunt and uncle. They lie.

Suddenly, he had a plan.

“No thanks, I’ll pass,” he smirked. Uncle Paul was taken aback and aunt Janine was off guard. He had to go back to his friends, but before he turned around he said: “Janny, Paul, please do me a favour.”

“Anything, Kurtsie,” aunt Janine smiled.

“Don’t tell my dad that I know,” he left his confused relatives behind.

It was dead silent. Quinn had been driving around aimlessly for minutes.

Finally Blaine broke the long silence. “Kurt, honey, are you out of your god damn mind?”

The girls hummed in agreement. “Blaine, I’ve thought about this. This seems like the best decision.”

“You’ve been watching the Parent Trap or what?” Santana asked, “Like, I love crazy ideas, but this is just too much, Kurt.”

“Guys, I really need your support,” Kurt half-shouted, “I mean, face it, my parents will never tell me the truth. If I want to meet my mom, I have to do this like this and Carson has to work with me.”

“How are you going to tell Carson?” Mercedes asked, “Approaching him and saying ‘oh by the way, Carson, we’re twins and I want to meet mom so we need to switch places. You with me?’ Please!”

Kurt shrugged. “Yeah?”

“Kurt, I will support whatever decision you make, but please, think about this,” Blaine sounded really desperate, “Switching places with Carson has a lot of consequences. And I don’t mean for us, but for you and you personally.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“To think!” Blaine shouted.

“Boys, you better not be fighting in my car,” Quinn shouted back, “Or I’ll drop you off in the middle of nowhere and you can find your own way back. And am I the only one who agrees with Kurt?”

“YES!” Blaine, Santana and Mercedes said firmly.

“Why’d you agree?” Santana shot her a ‘so-judging-you’ look.

“Parents can be such assholes. Remember my dad?” Quinn said, “If you want something, you have to work for it. So, first of all, I totally support you, Kurt and second of all, you are paying for my gas bill.”

~

The McKinley Writer’s Club was as boring as the Clover High one. At least there were some people in it. Starla Jones for instance. She was almost as amazing as Malerie.

But Starla was sick today and the others were out, preparing themselves for a party or something. Carson was once again alone in the journalism classroom behind his laptop. He actually liked it. It felt like home.

“Trust you to be here,” he heard Kurt.

“What do you want?”

“We need to work on your manners,” Kurt rolled his eyes.

“Is this about our project?” Carson was still looking at this screen, “You did hand it in yesterday, right?” He finally turned to Kurt and to his surprise, Kurt looked nervous.

“Shouldn’t you be at glee?” Carson asked suspiciously. Kurt shrugged it away.

“Skipped,” he said, “We need to talk.” Kurt took a seat and crossed his arms and legs. Carson understood the arms, but legs? Doesn’t that hurt?

“Look, we are twins,” Kurt spilled, “And I’m not joking, I found out from my aunt Jan. Your mom and my dad met in Italy and we were born in Italy, long before Clover and Lima.”

“Sure,” Carson said sarcastically. He had no time for this.

“Look, you know that there’s something going on, right? My dad being so weird, Ellen crying when she found out my name was Kurt… Face it, Carson, we are twins.”

“My dad left,” Carson simply said.

“Yeah, and my mom died. Both very good lies, uh?”

Carson thought back. They do look identical and Ellen has been weird. And she definitely said Janny’s name. And that Burt Hummel knew his name.

“And what are you trying to achieve, now that you know this,” Carson asked and Kurt looked relieved, “Yes, a part of me believes you. Happy now?”

“Very,” Kurt smirked to himself, “And I want to meet mom, properly. Have you ever wanted to meet dad?”

Way too often.

“Nah,” Carson lied, “That jackass left my mom.”

“You are talking about my dad, okay?” Kurt sounded offended, “And maybe walking out was wrong for him to do, but you don’t know him. Maybe if you two meet, you’ll change your mind.”

Suddenly, Carson got really curious. “What are you suggesting?”

Kurt looked around and closed the door. “Have you ever seen the movie ‘The Parent Trap’ with Lindsay Lohan playing Annie James and Hallie Parker?” he whispered.

“You closed the fucking door. No need to whisper.”

Well, Kurt’s bitchface looked like Carson’s, only bitchier.

“Have you or haven’t you?”

Carson honestly didn’t remember. He went through memories and memories and memori- got it!

“I have and,” then it hit him, “You- Oh my god you want us to, y’know?”

Kurt nodded enthusiastically.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“Cars, please, can’t you see it,” oh great, he was whispering again, “I want to meet mom and don’t even pretend you don’t care about dad!”

It fell silent, but then Carson said it.

“Get your stuff, we’re going to my place.”

Chapter Text

“Oh my god this is horrible,” Kurt shrieked.

“Stop whining and work with me,” Carson muttered. They were removing Kurt’s highlights.

“Why are we removing mine, why can’t we just-” “I am not wearing highlights, Hummel!” Carson said, “And we need to test it.”

It had been two weeks since Kurt and Carson found out and they had been preparing the others for the big switch.

“And again, after my mom saw you, she saw me without highlights,” Carson explained, “It’s not very logical for me to get highlights again. Did you bring the clothes?”

Kurt nodded. “In my bag.”

“I still can’t believe you own this outfit twice,” Carson rolled his eyes the way Kurt had taught him to do.

Suddenly, he stopped.

“Cars?” Kurt asked.

“Oh my god, do I have to sing?” Carson wondered, “I- I can’t sing!”

Kurt leapt out of his seat. “Oh fuck! Nationals is in two months and I need to go to Nationals.”

“You didn’t even think about that!” Carson threw his hands in the air, “What the heck, man!”

Carson was secretly proud of himself for not swearing. He had to learn not to. Kurt on the other hand finally swore more.

“We’ll figure something out,” Kurt assured him, “Now, let’s focus on our original plan. Think quick: what’s aunt Janny’s husband’s name?”

“Paul,” Carson answered without hesitating, “Now sit down, one more highlight to go and: who is my aunt?”

“Mildred,” Kurt answered, “Where is Finn’s room?”

“Across yours. Who did I blackmail first? Claire Matthews or Nicolas Forbes?”

Kurt bit his lip. “Claire?”

Carson sighed. “No, Claire was one of the last, idiot. And your hair is final-fucking-ly done.”

“Language, Carson!” Kurt peeped, “And change clothes. Ellen will be back in thirty minutes.” One of the things Kurt had to learn was Ellen’s schedule.

“So, we are going to tell her, Blaine, Mercedes, Santana, and Quinn?”

“Well, they’re the only ones who know about us being twins,” Kurt said, “Aren’t we going to tell Malerie?”

“I love her, but she’d fuck it up,” Carson shrugged.

“Oh, and I know what to do about Nationals. Same way as my NYADA audition, we switch back. I’ll rehearse the songs with Blaine and my girls,” Kurt changed topics.

“And me singing?” Carson opened Kurt’s bag and god he hated the outfit.

“Sore throat excuse?” Kurt suggested. Carson nodded.

“Sore throat excuse,” he repeated, “But only after my audition and you’re magically cured just before Nationals. Also, how do you start my car?”

“Key in the ignition, the left passenger window open, radio turned to a Spanish classic station,” it was all too easy, “My address?”

“415 Whitman Avenue Lima, Ohio 45802,” Carson replied, “And oh my god how can you wear this, it’s so fucking tight?” Carson started the moisturize routine. He had to learn the whole thing and it was long.

“I am kinda excited,” Kurt admitted.

“Likewise,” Carson said.

“Likewise?”

“Likewise.”

“That could be our thing,” Kurt smiled, “Our twin-thing.”

“Oh my god, what are you?” Carson said, “A fucking fictional character?”

They heard the front door opening. “Show time,” Kurt said and started making his way.

Carson stopped him. “Wait, are we playing you?”

“Well, we’re wearing my clothes,” Kurt shot him an ‘isn’t it obvious?’ look and Carson groaned. They went downstairs and opened the door that led to the kitchen.

You first? Carson mouthed and Kurt nodded.

He smiled and entered the kitchen. “Hey Ell.”

Ellen jumped. “Oh god, Kurt, hi, you startled me,” she smiled, “Didn’t know you were here. Are you staying for dinner? Liz and Clayton are off again.”

 Kurt shook his head and leaned on the counter. “Nah, my boyfriend and I are going out tonight,” he said excitedly, “He made reservations.”

“Breadstix?”

“Breadstix.”

“Oh, I still need to go there,” Ellen said, “In summer break, yeah, and I’ll ask Carson to go with me.” Kurt hummed in agreement and said: “Oh, be right back.”

He skipped off to Carson and gave him a thumbs up. Carson rolled his eyes, but it was time for test it. He skipped to Ellen.

“Well, that was short,” Ellen said, “And Kurt, what did you do to your hair? I liked the highlights.”

“Oh, I needed some change,” Carson waved it away. His voice was a little bit higher.

“Whatever you want, but tell me about Breadstix. Is it good?”

“Well, it’s the only restaurant in town and everyone goes there,” Carson started, “Everyone goes there, though. Blaine and I might run into some of our friends and if that happens I’m 100 percent sure Puck would start crying. But it’s good. I recommend the cheesecake and I’m sure Carson would love to go with you. Right?”

“Definitely,” Kurt said and joined Ellen and Carson in the kitchen.

Ellen looked from Kurt, to Carson, to Kurt and back to Carson. “Wh-what?”

“I mean, you’d love to, right Cars?” Kurt asked Carson.

“Absolutely,” Carson smiled.

“Cars?” Ellen asked Kurt.

Kurt shook his head.

“Nah, like I said, I’m sure Carson here would love to go with you.”

“Carson? But, I- I was talking to Kurt!”

“Correct,” Carson smirked, “You were talking to Kurt before I took over.”

“We’d like to talk to you, Ell,” Kurt added, “It’s pretty serious.”

~

They switched the next day. They went to Carson’s house after school. Ellen made sure they were alone. Then, everything was ready.

“Bye Ellen!” Carson waved. 

“Bye, Ku-Carson? Carson, right?”

“Kurt is upstairs in my room,” Carson said, “I’ll miss you.”

He went outside and drove to Kurt’s house in Kurt’s Navigator. He was very nervous, but it was alright. The minute he set a foot in that house, it felt right.

Mostly because Kurt’s stepmom was calling out for him/Kurt.

“Oh, Kurt honey, how was your day?”

“Oh, fine, but I- I uh, I have to Skype with Blai-bye!” he ran upstairs and almost bumped into Sam.

Carson wasn’t used to a full house.

“Woah, dude, watch out,” he said angrily. He was gaming on a phone, but… wasn’t Sam poor?

“Sam, where did you get that phone?” Carson asked, eyeing the phone.

“Oh, it’s Finn’s. Don’t tell him,” he smirked and went downstairs.

“Wait!” Carson shouted, “Where’s B- my dad?”

“He’s with Finn at the garage. He’ll be back in an hour,” Sam replied and they heard Carole shouting: “Boys, dinner is almost ready. Call Burt!”

“Well, looks like he’ll be back in a few,” Sam shrugged, “You call your dad, ‘kay bye.” Wait, what?

“Can’t you do that, Sam?” Carson asked quickly.

“Dude, it’s your dad, not mine,” Sam said.

“Oh come on, Samuel.”

“Man, I told you to stop calling me Samuel!”

“If you do it I’ll stop.”

Sam turned around and looked at him weirdly. For a split second, Carson thought he was caught, but Sam turned back. “Deal.”

Twenty minutes had passed and Burt was home.

“Kurt, dinner!” Finn shouted, “And you better hurry. I need food!”

Carson was extra slow. But he had to go downstairs eventually.

It was time.

~

Meanwhile, Elizabeth Phillips and Clayton Clinton (seriously, who calls their son Clayton Clinton?) came home. Ellen winked to Kurt. Kurt nodded nervously.

“Oh, Ellen!” they heard Liz, “It smells lovely!”

“Well, Carson here loves his stakes,” Ellen gestured to Kurt, “And since it’s the first time in ages that we’re all together…”

“You are so thoughtful, Ellen,” Clayton sounded delighted.

“And Cars?” Liz asked Kurt, “How was your day?”

Chapter Text

“Hey kid, how was school?” Burt Hummel asked Carson.

“Oh, you know,” Caron’s hands were trembling, “Same old, same bold. Glee club and stuff.”

Burt hummed. “There is something different about you,” he said and Carson’s heart started beating even faster.

“I- It’s probably my hair,” Carson laughed shyly, “Even I miss my highlights, but it was time for a change.”

“Probably,” Burt didn’t sound convinced.

“Dude, you’re never home after school,” Sam said with his mouth full of- oh yeah!

“Sam, that’s disgusting,” Carson shot him one of Kurt’s bitch faces.

“He has a point,” Finn added, “You’re always at, what’s his name again?”

Carson quickly said: “Finn, please don’t tell me you forgot Blaine’s name.”

“No, that new kid. I thought the history project was done?” Sam asked, “Uh. Carlton?”

Burt dropped his fork.

“Dad!” Carson tried to distract them, “You know that’s grandfathers old-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Burt said. It didn’t work. “But, you’re seeing Carson?”

“Well, except for his horrible taste in clothing, he’s pretty cool. B-Blaine agrees with me,” Carson said and suddenly, he had an idea, “Is that a problem?”

Burt went pale. “Oh, no, no, no, Kurt,” he said quickly and shook his head, “Just… surprised I guess. Carson is so different. Your personalities really clash.”

“Burt, you’ve met Carson?” Finn asked and Burt went even paler. Carson didn’t know that was possible.

“Well, how about you, Finn?” Carole suddenly changed subjects, “How is Rachel?”

“Mom, you never ask about Rachel!”

So… Carole knows?

Life was good, actually. Burt had asked him again if he was okay and Carson had lied –obviously. Burt blamed on ‘you losing your voice irritates you that much, uh?’ and let it go.

The New Directions didn’t notice a thing. Rachel did shout at him when he told Mr. Schue that he ‘had lost his singing voice’ but it was Rachel.

Santana also had fun.

“Blaine, why do you and Kurt never kiss during glee?”

“Well, Santana, we-” Carson spluttered.

“We don’t really like PDA,” Blaine supplied.

“But what about that one time I found the two of you in the boys ba-” “Shut. Up. Puck,” Carson hissed.

“Wait, the two of you are actually dating?” Sugar looked delighted, “Oh, I never really knew. Like Santana said, you never really touch.”

“We touch plenty,” Blaine blushed. Carson too, to make it all more believable.

“KISS! KISS! KISS!” Puck started chanting and Santana had this annoying satisfied look on her face. Why did they ever tell her?

The others started chanting with them. “We- We, uh…” Blaine stuttered, “We can’t-” But Carson was done with this bullshit.

“Oh, get over it, Anderson,” he said and he pressed his lips against Blaine’s. He pulled away and smirked to Santana. “Here you go, now let’s start with today’s rehearsal.”

~

Carson really met his dad, Kurt…. nah. It had been more than two weeks and all Kurt did was sitting in Carson’s room or in Ellen’s study. His mother was never home.

“I just don’t- This wasn’t what I expected,” at moments like this, Kurt was grateful for the fact that they told Ellen, “I wanted to meet mom, Carson wanted to meet dad. Carson has met my dad, they even went to the garage together. But apart from my mom’s name, I know nada.”

“Oh Carson,” Ellen sighed sympathetically, “I- I meant Kurt!”

“Call me Carson,” Kurt smiled weakly, “I mean, I actually prefer you calling me Carson when I’m in disguise. It makes it all easier.”

“Do you feel lonely?” Ellen asked, “Your boyfriend is coming over again, right?”

Kurt nodded. “It’s not that I’m lonely, I just want to spend time with mom.”

“I can help you,” Ellen said and Kurt looked up.

“How?” he asked frantically.

“Oh, you wait.”

“Mom?” Kurt was surprised to see her that evening, “Weren’t you at this dinner? Where’s the old man?”

But Elizabeth Phillips didn’t speak. She basically ran to Kurt and threw her arms around him. “…Mom?”

“Oh, Cars, please forgive me. I am so, so sorry,” she cried, “Ellen told me everything. I’m sorry you felt this lonely. And you probably miss your friends and gramma.” So, Ellen did tell her.

“I talked to Clayton and we both agreed it was time for me to take a week off,” Liz said, “If that’s okay with you? We can start with lunch tomorrow? Ellen told me about Breadstix and the rest of the week only us, together. Do you like that?”

“Oh mom,” Kurt was silently crying too, “You have no idea.”

~

Carson was studying in Kurt’s room. Fortunately, they shared a lot of classes, so making tests was easy. They just wrote their own names on the paper. The teacher’s didn’t notice ‘Carson writing down Kurt’s name and Kurt’s Carson.’

“Kurt, honey,” he heard Carole, “Blaine is here for you. I’m sending him upstairs.”

Carson’s brow furrowed. Blaine? Here?

The door opened. “Hey Cars,” Blaine said.

Carson grumbled. “Nice to know that you know it’s me and not your boyfriend,” Carson said.

“Well, I am aware of the switch, remember?” Blaine closed the door behind them.

“Wait, isn’t there a door-stays-open policy?” Carson asked, “I mean, that’s what Kurt told me.”

“Oh yeah, there is,” Blaine waved it away, “But it’s for me and Kurt and you’re not Kurt. How’s Barbs treating you?”

Barbs was Kurt’s other aunt, Barbara. Kurt hated her. She was harsh and rude most of the time. She was single and lived in California, but she was visiting the Hummels.

Carson actually liked her.

“Is there anything you want?” he said, instead of answering.

“Look, Cars, now that you are Kurt, we spend a lot of time together at school and you and Kurt are both different, but there is one small similarity,” Blaine lay down on Kurt’s bed.

“And what might that be?” Carson said, sounding annoyed.

“Hurt,” Blaine answered, “You both look really, really hurt in the same way. I know that there’s something on your mind and I have the feeling it’s your mom.”

“Mom’s fine,” seriously, can’t he just go away.

“Yes, she is very fine while spending a lot of time with Kurt.”

Carson took a deep breath and turned to his pretend boyfriend. Blaine sat up. “You’re sad because she is spending time with Kurt and not you,” Blaine nodded, “I get it. She was always somewhere with the old man and suddenly, she’s back and 24/7 available. And you’re not there, because you’re here. And you want to spend time with your mom.”

“You are such a fucking smartass kid,” Carson tried to smile, but he couldn’t. Blaine was right and Blaine knew. It made him feel vulnerable. Carson hated feeling vulnerable.

“You guys wanna switch back? I mean, you guys were planning on switching back for Kurt’s NYADA audition next week.” It was a really tempting offer, but Carson knew he couldn’t do that. Not for Kurt and not for him. Even though he hated it to admit, but he really wanted more time with his dad.

Maybe his dad could fix his car.

“I can’t, B,” Carson said, “And it is really nice of you to come here, but maybe it’s the best if you go now.”

Chapter Text

Kurt’s mom was amazing. She loved fashion and singing. A part of Kurt wanted to be himself, because Carson didn’t like fashion and he couldn’t sing at all. But he couldn’t. What would his mom do when she found out that it was Kurt?

Kurt groaned in frustration.

The week went too fast. Liz had to go back to work and Clayton. That Monday, Kurt waved her goodbye and when she was gone, he started crying.

“Oh, Carson,” Ellen hugged him from behind, “She’ll come back. I’m sure of it.”

Kurt nodded. “Still thanks, Ellen, for doing this,” he managed to say, “But I have to go now.” He went upstairs. His NYADA audition is in two days and they were going to switch back… tomorrow.

It was time to see his dad again.

~

“It’s good to have you back,” Ellen said the next day and she refilled Carson’s glass, “Kurt is amazing, but I missed you.”

“It feels good to be back,” Carson said honestly, “And god, the clothes. Don’t even get me started on Kurt’s clothes.”

“I’m sure Kurt missed his clothes too,” Ellen giggled, “He’s been complaining about the blue for days.”

“There is nothing wrong with blue!” Carson said defensively, “Green. There’s a lot wrong with that colour. It isn’t creative at all.”

Ellen rolled her eyes. “Anyway, now that you’re home, I have a surprise for you,” she smiled.

Carson took a sip of his drink. “Curiosity peeke- oh god that is was Kurt says. I’m way too used to being him.”

“Well, Kurt’s NYADA audition is tomorrow and it made me think of college. Your college and I saw something interesting in the mailbox today.” She opened a drawer and there it was.

Carson saw his name and ‘NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY’ and its logo.

“Oh. My. God. Ellen?” he tried to grab the letter, but Ellen dodged his grabby hands.

“Uh, uh, tiger,” she said, “I called your mom and Clayton and they want to be there when you open it. They cancelled their dinner with whateverhisnamewas. The four of us are going to Breadstix tonight.”

“Wait, my mom too?” Carson asked to be sure.

Ellen smiled widely. “It was your mom’s idea.”

~

Kurt’s version of Not The Boy Next Door was a hit. Carmen Tibideaux looked impressed. Kurt was so happy, he wore his golden pants at glee. He didn’t want to take them off. Okay, maybe Blaine didn’t want that, but who cared.

It went amazing.

Rachel… let’s not talk about Rachel.

“You were so lucky, Kurt,” Tina said, “Your voice came back in time.”

Kurt nodded. “Oh, Tay, I was so scared,” he lied, “What would’ve happened if it didn’t come back.”

“We’re all very happy for you,” Mercedes winked. She was also happy that he was back in glee.

“Wait, where is Rachel?” Santana asked, “Did she faint?”

“Finn is not here either,” Mike commented. Mr. Schue sighed and he told the club what happened. Even Santana was shocked. Everyone knew how much NYADA meant to Rachel.

“But, now that Kurt has his voice back…” Mr. Schue’s grin was wide, “Kurt, would you mind singing for us? We missed your voice. Ignore the assignment, sing what you want.”

Kurt nodded excitedly. “Yes, yes, I want to!” He skipped to the middle of the choir room. Since he always had sheet music with him, it was really easy for Brad.

Kurt knew that Brad hated the infamous ‘Hit it!’ because sometimes he had no idea what to play.

You shout it loud
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

He smiled to the glee club. His glee club. Kurt had to admit, journalism was nice, but he had missed them. Even Brad seemed to enjoy it, well… until

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

Mr. Schue looked impressed.

Cut me down
But it's you who had offered to fall
Ghost town, haunted love
Raise you voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud not saying much

Kurt had missed this. Singing in front of glee was so much better than singing in front of Carmen.

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

The glee club softly started singing backup. Skyscraper, skyscraper.

Stone-hard, machine gun (Skyscraper, Skyscraper)
Firing at the ones who run (Like a skyscraper)
Stone-hard, this bulletproof glass (Sky, sky, skyscraper)

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Ohh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

I am Titanium

They all gave them a standing ovation – well, except for Artie. Kurt smiled fondly. Sam was shouting, Puck was whistling, Brittany was… whatever she was doing.

Slowly, the applause faded away. Only one person continued. Kurt turned around.

Carson Phillips was standing in the doorway.

“Damn, I don’t sing, but that was fucking amazing,” he said.

“Shouldn’t you be at journalism?” Kurt asked jokingly.

Carson shrugged.

“It’s always the same fucking story. No one shows up, even Starla left, so I’m running that shit,” he smiled proudly, “Like I always do.”

“Of course,” Kurt said.

“But I’m here for you,” Carson stepped inside, “Can we talk, please? It’s kinda important.”

Kurt turned to Mr. Schue, who nodded. “It won’t take long,” Carson assured him.

“You didn’t tell me Barbs was visiting,” Kurt said, “Do you want to know how awkward that was yesterday? ‘Barbs, hi, what are you doing here?’ ‘Kurt, I’ve been here for weeks.’ ‘Oh.’ My dad looked so strangely at me.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, just follow me,” Carson said absently. He went to the one place he saw as his second home.

“The journalism classroom is always empty, perfect for moments like this,” Carson said. Kurt followed him inside.

“What is going on, Cars? Is mom-” “Mom is fine, don’t worry. It’s me.”

“What’s up with-” but then he saw the letter Carson was holding. “Carson, is that what I think it is?”

Carson nodded proudly.

“Do tell!”

“The four of us went to Breadstix yesterday – yes, really – and I opened the letter just before dessert and…”

“And?” Kurt asked full anticipation.

“I got in!” Carson yelled and Kurt shrieked. He started jumping like crazy.

“That is amazing,” he leaped forward and hugged his brother tightly, “You’re going to be one of the best editors in the world.”

“But what about you? Your audition?” Carson pulled away.

“Perfect,” was the only thing Kurt said.

“Likewise,” Carson grinned.

“Likewise?”

“Likewise, for fucking sure.”

"Told you this could be our thing," Kurt grinned and Carson playfully punched him in the shoulder.

He looked at Carson and realized that in the beginning of the year, they didn’t care about each other’s life at all. They had come so far.

Chapter Text

Nationals was in two weeks. Carson sat in the choir room and watched all of Kurt’s friends interact and rehearse. Rachel was once again sad because ‘Kurt had lost his voice again, Blaine Warbler I blame you’, but Carson didn’t really like Rachel.

But he felt so out of place here. It had been months even and he still wasn’t used to this whole glee club thing. It was nice with Blaine, Quinn, Mercedes and sometimes even Santana, but he once again missed his friends from Clover High.

Maybe he should steal his phone back and call Malerie.

He was relieved when he heard the bell ring.

“Kurt, we’re going to the mall and we desperately need your clothing advise,” Sugar whined, “Please, come with us.”

“Sorry Sugar, I promised Carole that I would bring my dad his lunch,” Carson said and it was true. Carole herself was too busy and she didn’t trust Finn or Sam with food.

“But Kuuuuurt,” Tina said.

“But Tiiiiina,” Carson mimicked. He grabbed Kurt’s bag and left the choir room.

“Dad, here’s your lunch,” Carson called out, “Carole made me, so if you have complains, please tell her.”

Burt smiled and accepted the bag. “Will do, bud,” he smiled and hugged Carson.

Carson could never get tired of that.

“Dad, can I ask you something?” he started, suddenly very curious.

“Anything, Kurt,” Burt answered while inspecting his lunch, “Oh, bacon!”

“What was mom like? I mean, we never really talked about her.”

Burt looked up and he seemed quite shocked. “Why do you wanna know?” Carson shrugged.

“Like I said, we never really talk about her. I’m eighteen, I want to know more about her.”

“She’s dead, Kurt.”

No, she’s not. “I know, but why does that matter? Did you love her?”

Burt bit his lip. “I did, once, yeah…” he trailed off, “I loved her so much, but then, she died.” No, she didn’t.

“Did you love me?” Carson said without thinking, because for a split second he forgot that he was supposed to be Kurt.

“Of- Of course, I did, kid,” Burt sounded concerned, “Oh god, Kurt, don’t ever think I didn’t love you. Don’t care how old you were, I love you.”

Carson smiled.

“I love you too, dad.”

~

“Cars, honey?” Liz shouted, “Please come downstairs.”

Kurt was in the middle of a phone call with Malerie, who still had no idea that it was Kurt, not Carson, so he quickly said goodbye and ran downstairs. Yes, he ran.

Liz and Clayton were standing in the living room. Ellen was nowhere to be seen.

His mother handed him a glass of… champagne?

“Mom, I’m underage,” Kurt laughed shyly.

“Oh, like you cared when you got your letter,” Liz laughed, “We have great news.”

“You miss us, right?” Clayton asked. Well, not you but okay let’s go with it. “Yeah?”

Liz’s smile grew even wider. “We found a way to spend more time. Clayton is offered a new position, it’s less busy.”

“Really?” Kurt’s eyes almost popped out, “That’s- that’s… wow.”

“We both know you never really liked Lima,” Clayton started and where was he getting at? “So to make it even better, the position is in Illinois, nearby Northwestern.”

His smile faded when he was that Kurt wasn’t smiling back. In fact, Kurt looked shocked.

“Carson, honey?”

“You- you’re going to move away?” Kurt’s voice broke. “No, honey, we, the four of us, are going to Illinois.” No, I won’t be going with you.

Maybe I’ll never see you again.

Mom, no.

Please, no.

“Carson?”

~

Kurt’s phone rang and to Carson’s surprise, the caller ID said ‘Carson.’ He looked around to make sure he was still alone. Finn was once again comforting Rachel, Sam was visiting his family, Barbs was to the mall and his parents – they are his, too – were both off to work.

“Hey brother of mine,” he smiled. His smile dropped when Kurt told him the news.

“You’re going to move!” Kurt had exclaimed.

“What- what do you mean, I’m going to move?” he asked confused.

“Your old man is offered a new position in Illinois and it’s great for you I mean, more time with mom and it’s close to Northwestern, but for me…” Kurt started crying hysterically. “I can’t lose her again, Cars, I can’t.”

And I can’t lose dad.

“Oh my god, Kurt, what are we going to do?” Carson said. He put Kurt’s phone on speaker and he placed it on top of a stack of magazines. He quickly got himself a drink. He needed it.

“I don’t know, Carson,” Kurt sounded desperate, “I don’t want to switch back. I mean, we have to eventually, but what if she doesn’t like me? I need my mom.”

“And I need my dad,” Carson confessed, “I take it all back, all the bad things I’ve said about him. He is truly amazing, but he gave up on me before. What if-” “This is a mess.” “It is,” Carson almost cried.

“I hate this so much,” Kurt yelled. Yes, he yelled.

“Likewise.”

“Likewise?”

“Likewise, like you don’t know,” Carson said in frustration.

“I heard the front door, gotta go,” Kurt said quickly, “Love you, brother.”

Carson smiled sadly. “Love you too, bro.” The line went dead and Carson dried his somehow wet eyes.

He failed to notice Barbs eavesdropping from the hallway.

~

“Oh, baby, don’t cry,” Blaine whispered. They were cuddling in the living room. Ellen was grocery shopping, so they had the house for themselves.

“I am just so fucking afraid, Blaine,” Kurt cried, “What if she gets mad at me when she finds out? What if she breaks contact after she moves away? What if I never see her again? She’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Blaine pressed a kiss on Kurt’s temple. “Don’t think that way, Kurt, just don’t,” he sounded broken, “You are beautiful and perfect and wonderful and if she doesn’t like you for who you are, it’s her fault not yours. If she doesn’t love you for you, then she doesn’t deserve you.”

“I love you so much,” Kurt smiled watery.

“I love you too,” Blaine said and leaned forward. He pressed Kurt down and started kissing him everywhere. For a split second Kurt felt bad for making out in Carson’s house, but it technically his house too.

They didn’t hear the front door opening.

“I-” kiss “-love-” kiss “-you-” kiss “-so-” kiss “-much.”

“Carson, honey, can we- what the hell is happening here?” Liz shouted when she saw Blaine on top of Kurt.

Blaine quickly jumped off and Kurt screamed:  “Mom!” He quickly sat up and adjusted his – Carson’s-  clothing. “Mrs. Phillips!” Blaine said and he fiddled with his bow tie.

“Carson, what the-” “Mom,” Kurt cut her off. It was time to do something he’d always wanted to do. “Mom, this is Blaine, my boyfriend.”

“Y- y-”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Phillips,” Blaine shuffled awkwardly.

Liz turned to Blaine. “You, out!” she ordered and Kurt’s eyes widened. “Mom, please-”

“Carson, I have nothing against you being gay, but… we need to talk,” Liz said and Kurt sighed from relief, “Tell your boyfriend to go.”

They quickly hurried outside. “Kurt, I-” Kurt shushed him.

“Shut up, you. I have the feeling it will be okay.”

Chapter Text

“You want to talk?” Kurt re-entered the living room.

Liz nodded. “Clayton won’t be home till six. It’s time for some alone time,” she said.

Kurt sat down on the other couch, the one that faced the couch Liz was sitting on. Why did they have so many couches?

“How long?” she asked.

“You mean Blaine and I or me being gay?” Kurt asked, wondering if it was the right thing not to tell his mother that he wasn’t Carson.

“Both, I guess,” she said.

“Since the beginning,” Kurt answered honestly, “I don’t remember me not being gay and Blaine, oh Blaine.” He smiled to himself.

“We met on my first day of my school. I fell in love with him the minute I saw him. He showed me around the school. A month later, he told me he had feeling for me too. He once quoted to me ‘I fell the love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once’.”

That wasn’t really a lie. They did meet at ‘the new school’ and Blaine showed him around and he did quote The Fault In Our Stars, but it took him longer than one month and ‘the new school’ was Dalton Academy.

“That- That is really sweet,” Liz said, “Does he treat you right?” Kurt nodded.

Liz stood up. “Ask the kid over for dinner on Saturday,” she said and left.

~

Blaine told Carson the next day during glee.

He looked very tense and avoided Carson’s eyes. After Brittany had called Blaine out for his hairgel and basically banned it from prom, Blaine raised his hand.

“Mr. Schue, may I talk to Kurt, privately?” he asked and Mr. Schue nodded, because he saw that there was something wrong. Santana noticed it too, so she quickly said: “Wanky!”

Carson followed him to an empty classroom.

“Your mom and I walked in on me and Kurt yesterday,” Blaine blurted out.

“…. what?”

“And now she thinks you’re gay,” Blaine looked at his feet, “I’m so sorry, Kurt.” Blaine had never called Carson Kurt before. Well, in public, but this wasn’t public. “I initiated the kisses. She sent me away. I have no idea what happened afterwards.”

“I’m not Kurt,” Carson spat.

“I know.”

“I’m not gay!” Carson yelled.

“I know,” Blaine said again, “But Kurt, maybe everything worked out? Have you talked to Kurt yet?”

“Stop calling me Kurt and no, I haven’t!” Carson shouted back, “And I guess my mom is okay with it, I hope, but Clayton…”

Blaine’s phone peeped. “It’s a text from Carson,” he noted, “So it’s Kurt and- oh. Your mom wants me to come over for dinner at Saturday and I already have a standing Friday night dinner invitation at yours. Busy week…”

“You go and you better fix it,” Carson snapped and stormed out. He angrily passed Noah Puckerman and he went back to the choir room.

When he got home, Barbs was waiting for him in the kitchen. She handed him a glass. “Thanks, Barbs,” he accepted it.

“Aren’t you worried? I might’ve poisoned it.” But Carson’s glass was already empty.

“Kurt, we need to talk,” Barbs said shortly, “I know.”

“Know what?” Carson said absently.

“Know everything, Kurt,” Barbs continued, “Or should I say, Carson?”

Carson dropped his glass.

~

“I feel so underdressed,” was the first thing Kurt said when he opened the door. Then he added, whispering: “Carson has no suits or whatever seems formal. We better switch back for prom night.” Blaine just nodded and followed Kurt inside.

“Mom, Clayton, this is Blaine,” Kurt introduced him. His mother smiled genuinely. Clayton was clearly watching Blaine.

“Sorry for last time,” Liz shook Blaine’s hand, “I just didn’t expect it.”

“It’s okay, ma’am.”

“Please, call me Liz,” she insisted and Kurt almost cried from happiness.

“I’m Clayton Clinton,” Clayton said, “Nice to meet you, Blaine.”

“Likewise, sir.” Clayton just nodded.

“Shall we sit down then?” Everyone agreed and Ellen placed a bowl of salad.

“So this is the infamous Blaine,” Ellen was a bad actress, but the parents bought it, “Nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Kurt resisted the urge to hit her.

“Ellen, you knew about Carson?” Clayton asked.

Ellen turned red. “Well, yeah, b-but th-that wasn’t my, uh, thing t-to s-say,” Ellen stuttered.

Blaine left with a good feeling. Kurt sighed in relief. Clayton had opened his heart when he found out that Blaine really cared about ‘Carson’.

“So, that was Blaine,” Liz said and Kurt nodded. I love you, mom.

“Now I understand why you don’t want to move,” Clayton joked and Kurt just played along and nodded.

Then, Carson’s phone rang.

KURT.

“Be back in a minute,” he ran outside. The garden was beautiful. He lay down, started at the stars and answered, “Hey bro, we didn’t fuck up.”

He expected Carson to sat that he was relieved, but no. He said something else instead.

“Barbs knows!”

Kurt was confused. “What do you mean she knows? What did she do this time?” Kurt rolled his eyes. Barbs is such an idiot.

“No, Kurt, she knows about the switch. She overheard our phone call.”

Kurt shot up. “What?”

“And she knows how important it is to us, so she’s not going to tell dad.” Kurt sighed deeply. “But she’s on her was to Janny and we both know what’s going to happen.”

“Are we going to tell?”

“Do you want to?”

“No,” Kurt answered shortly.

“Me neither.”

“So we wait?”

Carson hummed in agreement. “We wait, but keep your eyes open.”

Chapter Text

They did switch back on prom night. Rachel and Finn were crowned as king and queen. Kurt danced with Blaine all night.

They spent the night at Blaine’s and Carson went home (his mansion). After that, they switched back.

One day Kurt got home (again, the mansion) and was shocked to see Barbs and Janny. “Oh, Carson, we have visitors,” Ellen eyed Barbs.

“Are you Carson or Kurt?” Janny asked.

“Kurt,” Kurt answered honestly.

“How do we know for sure?” Barbs tried to whisper.

“I am very displeased to see you,” Kurt said in his normal and higher voice.

Barbs nodded. “Yup, it’s him.”

“Now I know why you didn’t want me to tell your father,” Janny said, “How long has this been going on?”

“Two weeks after I found out,” Kurt shrugged.

“Barbara, do you want something to drink?” Ellen asked and Barbs shook her head.

“I’d love to,” Janny said and Ellen went back to the kitchen.

“So, what happens now?” Barbs asks.

“I’ll stay here till we find something?” Kurt suggested, “Like, I love you being here, well, maybe not you Barbs, but I don’t need your help.”

Janny mumbled something. Ellen handed her a glass.

“Promise to call us when you need us.”

“Barbs!” Janny said, “We- We can’t-”

“Yes, we can. The kid is right,” Barbs said, “We can’t force them.” “But-”

“Thank you, aunt Barbs,” Kurt nodded.

~

“God fuck damnit, Puck,” Blaine yelled, “Don’t sneak up on me like that!” He was attracting a crowd. Puck shrugged and the next thing he knows was that he was being dragged by Puck to an empty classroom.

“’I’m not gay!’ uh?” Puck asked.

“Puckerman, I am perfect gold star gay so I have an awesome gaydar,” Blaine crossed his arms, “I know you’re not gay.”

“Not me. Kurt.”

“Kurt is even gayer, Puck,” Blaine said.

“No Blaine, I overheard you!” Puck said, “That one time you two left to talk privately. I followed you. I heard everything. That kid isn’t Kurt, right?”

Blaine was speechless.

“Right?” Puck repeated. Blaine sighed and shook his head.

“It’s Carson Phillips,” he confessed.

“Wait, that kid from history class?” Puck asked.

“Puck, I’m a junior, I don’t share classes with you,” Blaine reminded him, “But I guess it’s a yes. They ‘met’ at history class.”

“Wait, woah, then where is Kurt and what- huh? I need to call Finn.”

“Don’t call Finn!” Blaine pleaded, “Don’t.”

“I don’t understand!” Puck screamed in frustration. That was when Blaine realized that it was time. He quickly fished his phone out of his pocket and texted Kurt, Carson, Mercedes, Santana and Quinn.

‘Room 210, hurry. It’s an emergency!’

They arrived a few minutes later. Quinn was the first. “Blaine, what- oh, hi Puck?” Mercedes bumped into her.

Santana climbed through the window. “I just wanted to make an entrance,” she grinned.

“Where are the boys?” Mercedes asked.

Then Kurt came in. “Blaine, honey, I got your text, you sounded really urgent and-,” he stopped when he saw his friends and Puck.

“I meant, what the fuck is going on, Anderson?” he said quickly.

“What the fuck is going on, Anderson?” they heard and Carson entered the room. He also stopped track when he saw everyone, “I meant, Blaine, honey, I got your text, you sounded really urgent and now I’m worried.”

“Wow, what the fuck is going on?” Puck demanded information.

“Blaine, babe, why did you call us here?” Carson asked. “And why is this kid here?” Kurt added and pretended to look unimpressed.

“Kurt, just- just stop okay!” Blaine said to Kurt and Puck’s eyes widened.

“But- But I thought that was Kurt and… what?”

“You… Blaine!” Quinn sighed.

“Cars, Kurt, girls… this is getting out of hand,” Blaine said firmly, “Puck overheard me and Carson talking, so he knows that Kurt is not Carson.”

“So wait, I can actually curse now?” Carson smirked and Puck gaped at him.

“So you just told him the truth?” Santana asked.

“What truth?” everyone ignored Puck.

“We have to stop this,” Blaine said, “Seriously. We’ve already fucked up a lot of shit. For example, I have two boyfriends now!”

“And I’m not gay,” Carson added.

“And I miss cheesecake,” Kurt said.

“What is happening here?” Puck shouted and Mercedes turned to him.

“Small recap: Kurt and Carson are twins so they switched lives.”

“So that kid who is dressed like Kurt isn’t Kurt?”

“Guilty,” Carson smiled.

Puck turned to Kurt. “And you are the real Kurt?”

“As charged,” Kurt finished.

“Guys, I’d like to remind you that Carson is moving!” Blaine continued, “I don’t know what you have planned, but if you want to keep Liz and Clayton here, you have to do something. And you have to do something fast.”

“I agree!” Kurt nodded.

“Likewise.”

“Likewise?”

“Likewise, of fucking course likewise.”

“Okay, what if-”

“Hold it right there,” Puck cut him off, “Nationals is in one week, yeah?” The others nodded. “I have a plan.”

~

Puck’s plan was kinda amazing. Apparently, the Parent Trap was his guilty pleasure. They had to bring Burt and Liz back together in a non-romantic way. Burt needed to ask Liz to stay, but that also meant that Carson had to tell the truth.

Puck distracted Finn and Sam by asking them over. Barbs and Janny, who were aware, kept Carole away. It was only Burt and Carson.

“I’m personally offended. Why did Barbara forbid me to go with her, Carole and Janine? I’m their brother!” Burt shouted from the living room. He was watching the game.

It was now, or nothing.

Carson muted the TV. “Hey!” Burt shouted, “Kid, I know you hate football, but you didn’t have to mute it. You normally read Vogue.”

“Actually, dad, I have to talk to you and actually, I don’t like Vogue,” Carson sat down, “Like, at all.”

Burt laughed. “Yeah, sure kid. And I don’t like cars.”

“I know Kurt loves Vogue,” Carson said confidently, “Speaking of cars, can you fix my Corvair?”

“Kurt, I know you’re bad at cars, but you drive a Navigator,” said his father, who was still focusing on the screen, muted or not

It wasn’t working. Carson had to do it the fast way.

“Dad, I’m not Kurt!” he said.

Burt finally looked up. “Sure, if you aren’t, then where is my Kurt?” he joked and turned back to the screen.

“He’s with his mother, Elizabeth Phllips,” Carson replied silently.

Burt turned back to Carson. “But… you… C-Carson?”

Now Burt did turn off the TV.

“I’m sorry, dad,” Carson said softly, “You saw the two of us together. We found out that we were twins and well… we switched lives. Kurt wanted to meet mom and I wanted to see you, because my mom told me you’d left so a part of me wanted to kick you in the nuts, but then you turned out to be really awesome.”

“Oh, Carson…”

“And I you said you loved me, back in the garage,” Carson continued, “And I said I loved you back because that was the first time I admitted it to myself. But I want you to love me as me, and not as Kurt, even though he is truly awesome.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Remember Kurt removing his highlights?” Carson asked and Burt nodded, “Here’s your answer.”

Burt lowered his head.

“But everything is going wrong, dad,” Carson said desperately, “Blaine was right, we went too far.”

“Kurt’s been at his mom’s for all this time?” Burt asked in awe. Carson tilted his head. “Well, we did switch back for his NYADA audition and senior prom, but yes.”

Burt rested his head in his hands.

“I guess you have to switch us back…” Carson said, “I heard she’s going to Nationals to see Kurt sing.” Burt pursed his lips.

“Well, guess we’ll be going to Nationals.”

Chapter Text

“I can’t do this, Barbs,” Burt said frantically, “I haven’t seen her in seventeen years and I know that my heart belongs to Carole now, but I just can’t.”

“Wow, the great, big, strong Burt Hummel gives up that easily?” Barbs joked.

“Barbs!” Carson entered the master bedroom.

“Just talked to mom!” he lied, “She’s looking forward to is. She is bringing her maid and husband, though.”

“Yeah, we’ll bring Barbs and Carole,” Burt said and he continued to focus on his outfit, “Where is Kurt when I need him?”

“I’ll wait downstairs,” Carson tried to leave, but Barbs whispered: “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” Carson shushed her. Luckily, his dad was too nervous to notice.

Carole was sitting downstairs. Finn and Sam had left already. Nationals was in Chicago, so yeah, they had a plane to catch.

Carson’s still had to go. He’d told the other that he would go with his parents, to make it easier for them… or something. Well, luckily ‘his voice was back in time.’

His dad came downstairs, singing: “Chicaaaago, Chicaaaago!” Oh my god.

~

“Why did we have to go to Chicago? It’s a school week, Cars!” Liz asked Kurt.

“Because Blaine is singing at Nationals,” Kurt lied.

“But then why did we have to go with you?” Clayton asked. He just checked them in.

“Because you’re my family and you’ll soon be his too,” Kurt said and that wasn’t a lie.

“Aren’t you going a little far by that?” Clayton asked.

“Nope.”

Kurt grabbed his bags and they all stepped into the elevator. His phone beeped.

‘Room number? - C’

Kurt texted back: ‘235, meet me in the lobby in ten – K’

He dropped off his bags. “Sorry, have to check on something!”

~

Ellen was investigating the hotel. It was a nice hotel.

Then, she bumped into Barbs.

“Barbara, hi,” she smiled shyly.

Barbs bit her lip. “Please, call me Barbs,” she said, blushing, “I prefer it.”

“Have you seen the twins?” it was weird to call them that.

Barbs shook her head. “We just have to wait. I propose you come over to my room.”

Ellen nodded.

~

“Where is mom?” was the first thing Carson asked.

“Upstairs in her room with the old man,” Kurt answered, “So what are we going to do now? Nationals is tomorrow.”

“Well, I have to make sure dad doesn’t see mom,” Carson said and Kurt hummed in agreement, “We switch tomorrow morning?”

“Deal,” Kurt said, “You bring my Nationals outfit and I bring whatever.”

Carson nodded. “Good, please bring my dark blue jeans. I can’t stand the skinny jeans anymore.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I thought I was the drama king.”

“Kurt, these things are unhealthy.”

“Please, the amount of blue is unhealthy.”

Carson groaned. “Whatever. I’m off to dad now.”

~

Elizabeth and Clayton were talking a stroll. “Oh, forgot my purse in the lobby,” Liz panicked, “I- just go already, you don’t have to wait, Clay.”

Clayton nodded and left.

Liz turned around and bumped into Carson. “Oh, hi Carson,” she said, “I’m looking for my purse. I’ll see you upstairs.” Carson nodded.

Liz quickly took a look at his son.

“Were you wearing that before?” she asked.

“… Yes?” Carson lied.

Liz nodded to herself and found her purse.

“Hi mom,” he heard. She turned to Kurt.

“Carson, I thought you were going upstairs?”

“I was? I mean, I was!”

Liz eyed her son. “Nice sweater,” she nodded, completely oblivious. Kurt said his goodbyes and went upstairs.

Suddenly she saw a man standing there. No, it couldn’t be. But it was.

It was Burt Hummel.

He waved sweetly.

Liz didn’t think. She turned around and ran.

~

“Carson Phillips!” Burt was shouting. Two doors opened.

“Yes?” both Kurt and Carson said. They were in Barbs and Ellen’s room, who happened to be on the opposite side of the hallway.

“… Both of you,” he said in awe.

Kurt ran to him. “Dad, I’ve missed you!”

“Kurt?”

“Let’s just say that the kid who looks like Carson is actually Kurt and the kid who looks like Kurt is me, Carson,” Carson smiled.

Burt extended his arm. “Aw, come here you two.”

The door opened again. “Hey, I don’t want to interrupt the emotional conversation, but if I may suggest, I think it’s better for us to continue our conversation inside,” Ellen said and she quickly hurried everyone in Barbs’s room.

She turned to Burt. “Hi, you probably don’t remember me, but-” “Ellen!” Burt cut her off and he hugged her tightly.

He let go and followed the twins. Ellen grinned and closed the door. “I knew I liked him.”

“One of you is lying and honestly, I don’t know which one of you, but one of you is lying,” Burt was pacing, “You said your mom knew about me being here. Well, I just saw her-”

“You did?” Kurt whined.

“Yes, I did and she ran away when she saw me,” Burt said.

Carson groaned in agony.

“Kurt, kid, I’d love to see you sing, but why am I really here?”

“There is this swimming pool here,” Barbs said to Ellen, “Should we-”

“You two know, uh?” Burt pointed at them, “Everyone knows except for me.”

Carson sighed.

“My mom and the old man want to move to Illinois, but I don’t want to lose you and Kurt doesn’t want to lose mom.”

Kurt nodded in agreement.

“Please dad, you have to tell mom to stay,” Kurt pleaded, “We all brought you here for that. You have to ask her. Please, dad.”

Burt sat down and closed his eyes. “I- oh god.”

“We are so sorry, dad,” Kurt said, “It’s one big plan, all of this. Barbs, Ellen, Blaine, Mercedes, Santana, Quinn and Puck are involved and aware.” Burt just nodded.

“Dad, please, help us out,” Carson said. Kurt was crying next to him. “Mom is amazing, dad. And even though I see Carole as my second mom, I don’t want to let go of her.”

“Likewise.”

“Likewise?”

“Likewise. And like I said, I want you to love me for you,” Carson added, “How will you get to know me when I’m in Illinois, away from all of you? Please help.”

And to Carson’s surprise, Burt nodded.

“I see what I can do.”

Chapter Text

“No, no, no, that is your last one, honey,” Carole giggled. She was at the bar with Burt.

“How am I supposed to do this?” Burt said.

“Talk to her?” Carole said, “That’s what the twins said.”

“So, we’re really calling them twins now?” Burt sighed.

“Burt, they are twins,” Carole soothed him, “You’ve been hiding the truth for way too long. Maybe they’re right.”

She stood up. “Finish your drink. I need clothing advise from Kurt,” she said, “See you outside.”

“Outside?” Burt asked.

“We’re going to the pool with Ellen and Barbs, hon.”

~

“Hi, buddy!” Clayton high-fived Carson, “Nice jacket.”

“Thanks, old man,” Carson smiled and continued walking.

Clayton was quite happy here, but he knew better. He had arrangements to make.

“Hey, old man!” he heard. Kurt passed him and Clayton high-fived him too, not knowing that it wasn’t Carson. “Wait, Cars, were you wearing that before?”

Kurt looked down. “… Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Clayton said, “See you in a few minutes.” He went straight to the bar. A man was drinking and he seemed quite miserable.

“Need some company?” Clayton asked.

The man shook his head. “I’d love to, but I have to get back to my wife,” he smiled.

“The bill, Mr. Hummel,” the heard and Clayton realized who the man was.

“You’re congressman Hummel?” he asked in awe.

“Guilty,” Burt smiled.

“Oh. My. I must admit, I’m not that fond of the arts, but I did vote for you,” Clayton said excitedly. Burt didn’t really listen.

“Well, uh, thanks, but my wife is waiting for me.”

~

Burt walked outside and saw Kurt – oh, wait, was is Kurt or Carson? -, Barbs, Ellen and Carole. He wanted to go to them, but then he saw her.

Elizabeth Phillips.

Burt didn’t think. He had to go to her. He had to talk to her. For the boys.

He was still a bit tipsy, so he walked straight to her. He only forgot the pool.

“Dad!” Carson shouted.

“Burt!” Carole yelped.

“Brother!” Barbs said, looking amused.

“Watch out!” Ellen added.

SPLASH.

Burt fell into the pool. It did wake him up, though. He swam to Liz, who was surprised, but also smiled.

“My, my, my…” she smiled.

Burt got out. He was soaked, but it didn’t matter.

“Hi Liz,” he said.

“Hi Burt,” Liz blushed, “I- uh, I am very surprised to see you here, but you don’t seem very surprised to see me.”

“Actually, mom, I can explain,” Kurt appeared out of nowhere.

“Carson, hon, do you know who this man is?” Liz asked confused.

“Actually, yes, and actually,” Kurt straightened his back and raised his voice a little bit, “I’m not Carson.”

“Actually, I’m Carson,” Carson said and stood next to Kurt.

“Both of you?” Liz asked, eyes wide open.

“They switched place, Liz, can you believe it,” Burt laughed shyly, “They’ve been switched for months.”

“So, all this time, I had Kurt with me?” Liz asked.

Carson tilted his head. “Well, except for that one time at Breadstix.”

“But the rest was all me,” Kurt smiled.

Liz opened her arms. “Oh my god,” she said and she wrapped her arms around Kurt, “You are so, so beautiful."

Then, she turned to Carson. “Come here, you idiot.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

Burt watched them with a big smile on his face. He turned to Carole and blew an air kiss. Carole blew one back.

“Oh, Mercedes might have a camera,” Kurt said and he got out of his mother’s embrace, “Be right back. We need to capture this shot.”

He skipped off – almost slipped once – and he was gone. The other three started catching up. Burt gestured for Carole to come over and he introduced her to Liz.

“There you are!” they heard Clayton, “Liz, I made the arrangements!”

“Arrangements?” Carson asked.

Clayton stopped track. “Cars, kid, we’re so sorry,” he started, “But we’ve already missed some meeting and dinners, we can’t afford to miss another one.”

“I was going to tell you,” Liz added.

“Tell him what?” Burt asked and Clayton was shocked to see him.

“Congressman Hummel, hello!”

“Wait, you two met?” Liz asked. Clayton looked from his wife, to Burt and to Carson.

“You all know each other?” he asked.

“What arrangements, old man?” Carson asked. He needed to know.

“We’re flying back to Lima tomorrow morning at nine. All four of us,” Clayton answered, “I’m sorry, kid. I know you wanted to see your boyfriend sing, but you need to go to school.”

“You have a boyfriend?” Burt asked him.

“You know him?” Clayton asked and Liz shushed him.

Carson stepped back. “Actually, he’s not my boyfriend,” he confessed and Liz and Clayton were shocked, “Actually, I’m not gay at all.”

“Actually, I am,” they heard someone behind them. Kurt was standing there, holding a very expensive looking camera, “And Blaine is my boyfriend.”

Clayton jumped and yelped when he saw Kurt, still dressed as Carson, and he turned back to see Carson, dressed as Kurt. He yelped again and kept looking between them.

“Honey, have I ever mentioned to you that Carson was a twin?” Liz said.

Clayton quickly shook his head. “No, you forgot that piece of information.”

“And this is our father,” Kurt started. Carson motioned to Burt. “Burt Hummel,” he finished and smiled proudly.

“Wow, interesting,” Clayton sounded genuinely happy. “Yeah, my mom actually walked in on me and Blaine getting it on,” Kurt said lightly and Burt resisted the urge to scream ‘Kurt, you matter!’, “Cars and I switched places.”

Carson nodded.

“I must admit, I was kinda angry at them,” he said.

Clayton nodded. “I think I understand,” he said. Then he turned to Liz. “By the way, honey, I called the board about Illinois.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, I told them we were in.”

“Wonderful,” Liz said, oblivious to everyone around her. Burt and Carole exchanged looks and Barbs and Ellen, who were still sunbathing, shot up. There was a pool that split them, but they were able to hear everything.

Kurt and Carson looked at each other with frantic eyes. Oh god no.

Chapter Text

“Where are we going, Carson?”

“My name is Kurt, mom,” Kurt rolled his eyes, “And Clayton, no, not those shoes. You have to match mom!”

Clayton smiled. “Well, you sound just like your mom.”

“God, the torture,” Kurt said, “I finally met someone who shared my taste in clothing and I couldn’t talk about clothes.”

“But where are we going, darling?” Liz asked. She was wearing a beautiful black dress and Clayton wore a matching suit.

Kurt was wearing, yes, blue. It was shocking, but he was used to the blue now.

“Oh, you’ll see.”

~

“Have you seen Barbs?” Burt asked.

Carson shook his head.

Carole entered the room.

“I like this dress,” she said, “But Kurt, honey, I have two pairs or earrings and I-” “Not Kurt, Carole,” Carson reminded him.

“Oh. Well. Yeah…”

“But where are we going, Cars?” Burt asked, “I’ve had enough surprises over the past few day.”

Carson firmly shook his head. “Nah-ah, I’m not gonna tell you. You have to see it yourself.”

~

“Of course,” Liz said when she saw Burt, Carole and Carson.

“Of course,” Burt said in return.

There was a car waiting for them.

“Shall we go?” Kurt said loudly, getting everyone’s attention.

“Where are we going, kid?” Burt asked him.

Kurt also shook his head.

“We’re not gonna tell you,” he said and stepped in the car. Carson smirked and followed him.

~

“Where is Kurt?” Rachel panicked, “We still have to rehearse!”

Blaine exhaled sharply. “He’s busy,” he answered.

“But I asked Carmen to come over!” Rachel said, “Kurt has to be here!”

“It will all be alright,” Blaine assured her. Rachel nodded and ran to Tina. “Tina, we need you to redo the Edge of Glory dance!”

Mercedes patted Blaine on the shoulder. “I hope,” he said.

~

The restaurant was beautiful. Apparently, Ellen had booked a room there for everyone to eat, but of course, Kurt and Carson left once all was settled. Ellen and Barbs were there too as waitresses.

“Burt, not that I’m not happy to see you, but why are you here?” Liz asked.

“Kurt hasn’t told you yet?” Carole asked and Liz shook her head.

“There’s a reason, uh?” Clinton asked.

Burt shot a glare to Barbs, who nodded.

“We have to go,” she whispered to Ellen. They quickly left, but they got stuck together in a very awkward way.

Ellen blushed.

“Well…” Barbs grinned.

Meanwhile, Burt was internally preparing a speech. Where to start?

“Just say it, Burt,” Carole squeezed his hand.

“Burt, you’re a congressman,” Clayton said, “Whatever you want say, you can do it.”

“Actually, I’m a mechanic, but yeah,” Burt peeped and took a deep breath, “Liz, both of the boys don’t want the two of you to move to Illinois.”

Liz dropped her fork. “Both of them?”

He sighed again. “Now, I know that they’ll both go to college in the end of the year, but you have to keep in mind that this was before they found out that we aren’t mad at them for switching lives,” Burt reminded her, “They were so afraid, Liz.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cars wanted to kick my ass for leaving you and Kurt wanted to know who his mother was,” Burt explained, “And then they met us and now they love us. They were afraid of losing us. They basically have four parents now.”

Carole and Clayton didn’t say a thing, but they were both touched by those words.

“Burt, I am so sorry,” Clayton said, “But it’s too late. There’s nothing I can do.” Both Kurt and Carson, who had been eavesdropping felt like their hearts were dropped like a stone.

“But you were right,” Liz said, “They now know that we aren’t mad. They can visit us in the holidays, right?”

Carole quickly stuffed her mouth full with (delicious) food. Burt nodded.

“I guess- I think they just wanted us back together,” he said, “Not in a romantic kind of way, but as family. Together, in Lima. Like Janny and I.”

“Janny?” Clayton asked.

“My sister Janine. She lives with her husband Paul in Lima,” Burt answered, “And my other sister, Barbara, the other waitress, is thinking about moving back too. No idea why, it was kind of random.”

Kurt smirked to Carson. “My money is on Ellen,” he said.

“Likewise.”

“Likewise?”

“Likewise, definitely.”

But they’d heard enough. It wasn’t working. Disappointed, they left the restaurant and went back to their hotel.

~

It was six am and Carson was so fucking tired, but he and Kurt had changed plans. They weren’t going to switch back.

Not really.

They met in a public restroom near the glee club hotel rooms.

“Kurt?” Carson whispered and turned on the lights. “Are you here?”

“Yes,” he heard and he saw Kurt standing there, leaning against a bathroom stall, “Do you have the-”

“Of course, I have the-”

“Good,” Kurt whispered, “It’s time for doppelgänger 2.0.”

~

“So, they’ll be staying the first few weeks of summer break in Illinois?” Burt asked Liz and Clayton, who were checking out.

“Yes and then we’ll send them to Lima and the four of you will help Kurt and that friend of his moving to New York?”

“Yup.”

“Well, then I guess it’s settled,” Liz turned to Burt, “It was nice seeing you again, Burt.”

“Likewise, Lizzie,” Burt said. Liz gasped.

Meanwhile, Ellen and Barbs were getting a little bit emotional.

“I’ll miss you,” Ellen said.

“Same,” Barbs whispered, “Oh, why are you moving to Illinois when I’m moving to Ohio?”

“We’ll figure something out.”

“Ellen, where is Carson?” Clayton asked.

“Right here,” they heard two voices and two identical boys entered the lobby. Kurt and Carson were both wearing the same clothes, had their hair styled the same way, were both moisturized and both acted like Kurt.

The only difference was that one was wearing red and the other yellow.

“Oh my god no,” Burt whispered, because he knew the Parent Trap. Carole’s eyes widened too.

“Boys, please no,” he said, “Your mother and Clayton have a plane to catch.”

“Here’s the thing, dad,” the-one-that-shall-be-known-as-Yellow said. His voice was high, but his posture wasn’t that straight. “We have accepted the fact that mom’s going to move to Illinois. We don’t like it, but so be it.”

“But,” that-other-one-that-we-will-call-Red continued, “We don’t want you two to go now.” He nodded to Liz and Clayton.

“Kurt, this isn’t funny,” Burt said.

“Are you sure, I’m Kurt?” Red dropped his voice.

“Maybe I am Kurt,” Yellow said in the same tone.

“Look, one of us has a plane to catch, the other one has a bus to catch,” Red said, “We don’t want to miss the bus to Nationals. The New Directions need me.”

Liz smiled.

“Or me,” Yellow said and her smile dropped.

Speaking of the New Directions…

“Schuester!” Burt called and Mr. Schue turned around.

“Oh, Burt, god bless,” Mr. Schue said, “Kurt is nowhere to be seen and we really need him now. Have you seen him?”

“Speaking of Kurt,” Burt smiled. He had an amazing plan. “Get your kids down here. I need them.”

Chapter Text

“Woah, what the fuck,” was the first thing Sam said when he saw the twins. Red and Yellow’s smiles were identical.

“What is going on here, Mr. Schue,” they heard Rachel, “I was in the middle of- what the hell?”

“My dolphin has cloned himself!” Brittany shouted, “The time is now! Santana, we should totally clone each other. We can have sweet lady kisses all the time.”

“Tina and I were about to have an Asian- huh?” Mike stopped and Tina almost tripped over her feet.

“Wait, did Artie hit me with his wheelchair?” Finn asked, “Because I’m seeing double trouble.”

“Rude!” the twins said in unison and the New Directions jumped.

“That’s trippy, dude,” Puck said, “Like, I know what’s up, but that is fucking trippy.”

“Kurt, these are your friends?” Liz eyed the New Directions.

“Yes,” they both answered and the parents all groaned. The New Directions once again jumped. Well, not everyone.

“I thought you guys were going to switch back?” Mercedes asked.

“Change of plans, Mercedes,” Yellow said with his Kurt-voice.

Red nodded. “Right now, I am determined to let our parents stay here.”

“Likewise,” Red nodded.

“Likewise?”

“Likewise.”

“Aha!” Barbs said proudly and turned to Red, “You are Carson!”

“Interesting, Barbs,” Red said, “But what if I’m Kurt and said the ‘likewise’ just to mess with your head?”

“Or what if I’m Kurt?” Yellow added

Carole was more focused on other things.

“Mercedes, you were aware of the switch?” she asked in shock.

“What switch?” Rachel demanded to know, but everyone ignored her. Mercedes shrugged and pretended that it wasn’t a big deal.

“Yeah, me, Blaine, Q, ‘Tana and Puckerman over there.”

“Kurt, we need you for Nationals!” Quinn said.

“You’re right, Q,” Red said, “You definitely need me.”

“Or me,” Yellow grinned.

Everyone groaned in frustration.

“I still don’t understand,” Finn said.

“Honey,” Carole walked over to her son, “Let’s just say that you have two stepbrothers, not one.”

“Remember that Carson kid from history, dude?” Puck asked and Finn nodded, “Well, they’re twins and they switched lives. Right now they’re both dressed up as Kurt.”

“Oh my god,” Sugar said, eyes wide.

“But here’s the deal,” Yellow said in his Carson-voice, “One of us has Nationals and we both want mom and the old man in the audience.”

“We will stay like this if you disagree,” Red said, “Then you have fifty percent chance. You can bring Carson with you and you’ll break our heart or you bring Kurt with you and the New Directions loses Nationals.”

“WHAT!” Rachel exclaimed.

“And believe me, she will find you,” Yellow nodded to Rachel.

“Clay, I think we have to stay,” Liz said.

“Oh no, not so fast,” Clayton said, “You!”

He pointed to Blaine. Both Red and Yellow exchanged looks. They weren’t prepared for this, because they were both 100 percent sure that Blaine can tell them apart.

“You are the boyfriend, please help us,” Clayton pleaded and Burt nodded in agreement. Rachel pushed Blaine to the twins. Blaine smirked.

He basically jumped between them and put his arms around both of the boys. “Hi, honey,” he kissed Red’s right cheek and the parents were relieved, but then he turned to Yellow and kissed his left cheek, “Hi, honey.”

Liz threw her hands in the air. “I give up!” she said and stepped to the reception. Time to check in, again.

Blaine smiled from ear to ear. “Well, boys, I guess we should go upstairs. Kurt has to get dressed for Nationals, right?”

“Yes,” both of the twins said and the three of them turned around and left, still holding each other.

~

“Wearing my own clothes feels liberating,” Carson said.

“Cars, what the hell?” Santana snorted. Everyone who knew about the switch are backstage. They didn’t want to leave Carson at his parents, so Carson joined them.

But Vocal Adrenaline was done, so they all had to go backstage.

“Kurt, are you ready?” Rachel asked.

 Santana rolled her eyes and left with Quinn and Mercedes.

The Troubletones were already lining up.

“Calm the fuck down, Rachel,” Puck snapped and Carson looked satisfied.

He liked this Puck guy.

“Carson, you do know that you have to go back to the audience now, right?” Blaine asked while tying Kurt’s tie.

“But I don’t want to,” Carson groaned.

“Cars, my dad is on our side,” Kurt said, “Our dad. I meant our dad. Just stay with him, Carole and Barbs. And do you really think Ellen would let them take you away? Uh-uh.”

“And if they do take you, me and Santana will track them down and kick their fucking asses,” Puck said confidently.

Carson smiled and left. He quickly found his parents and awkwardly sat down. The curtain went up and some girls started singing.

~

Liz sat in comfortable silence. She knew that Clayton was annoyed, but a part of her was really excited to see Kurt singing. Her son, Kurt.

She recognized the song the girls were performing. It was from Lady Gaga. They did an amazing job, but she wanted to see Kurt.

Then, a Hobbit-sized girl entered the stage

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window (Ahh, ahh)
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever (Forever)

Kurt joined her on the stage

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me

Together, they continued. Other people entered the stage to provide backup. Liz recognized Blaine and that blonde girl who was aware of the switch, but there was also this Asian girl, this Asian boy, this kid who looked like Kurt from the distance and this rich-looking brunette, who looked way too proud of herself.

It's all coming back
It's all coming back to me now
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light

The girl continued

There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow

More people entered the stage. They were harmonizing. The kids who were already there for backup added a second layer.

That was the right term, right?

Oh god, Liz hasn’t sung in ages.

Baby, baby, baby, when you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
(But it's all coming back to me)
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
(All coming back to me)
The flesh and the fantasies
(All coming back to me)
I can barely recall
(But it's all coming back to me)
Now!

Kurt nodded to the girl, who smiled. It was time for his grand ending.

It's all coming back to me now
And if we
Oooh.

Liz gave them a standing ovation. Even Clayton was applauding loudly. The music suddenly changed and Liz recognized Paradise At The Dashboard Light.

The performance was incredible and Burt’s stepson did an amazing job. Then, Kurt and Blaine entered the stage.

And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife

They smiled at each other, before running forwards. Blaine sang and this Asian boy did backup.

C'mon! (Hold tight!)
Oh c'mon! (Hold tight!)

Blaine made some grabby hands and Kurt laughed. They danced together and two girls joined them. Clayton was watching them and he was pure happiness. It made him realize something.

Liz, on the other hand, was watching Carson, who was sitting next to her. He looked genuinely happy to see his brother and his friends. Carson was never genuinely happy. It made her realize something too.

Both Liz and Clayton were focused on different things, but they both knew one thing for sure: they had to keep the family together.

Chapter Text

They won. They really won. They were National champions. Kurt couldn’t believe it. He was hugging Blaine and Rory tightly. Everyone around his was either crying, or cheering, or clapping. Mr. Schue couldn’t handle it anymore.

In the audience he was coach Beiste, coach Sylvester, his parents, Barbs, Ellen and Carson.

Carson was the loudest of all of them. “New Directions!” he screamed.

Blaine and Rory let go of Kurt and he jumped off the stage. He ran to his brother.

“You did it!” Ellen shouted.

His dad gave him a pat on the back and Carole kissed his cheek. She was openly crying. In the corner of his eye, he saw Carmen leaving, but he couldn’t care less.

They partied all night and Blaine, Puck and Santana were so damn drunk. It was fun to watch. They were so hungover the next morning.

But all good thing had to come to an end. Carson, Liz, Clayton and Ellen were leaving. Not to Illinois, not yet, but back to Lima. There was one more month of school left.

One more month left with them.

Kurt banished that thought out of his head.

It was raining that morning. Of fucking course. A part of him wanted to convince Carson to do the doppelgänger thing again, but they both knew that it would be in vain.

An hour before departure and everyone was gloomy.

“C’mon boys,” Burt said, “You’re both going to college. It isn’t that big of a deal.” They both shot him the infamous Kurt Hummel bitchface and Burt quickly shut up.

Carson went downstairs with Kurt to say his goodbyes to the New Directions. Mr. Schue had to keep an eye on them, though. But it went smoothly. Carson waved one last time and-

“Wait!” Quinn stopped them, “There’s one thing I want to know.”

Everyone stared at her.

“Who was who during doppelgänger 2.0?” Kurt and Carson just looked at each other and smiled.

They left without answering.

The drive to the airport was silent.

“Aw, come on, boys,” Liz said, “It’s not the end of the world. We’ll see each other again.”

“Yeah, one week in Illinois, one in Lima,” Clayton tried to cheer them up, but it was no use.

“Honestly, old man,” Carson said sadly, “I prefer two full weeks in Lima.” Clayton had nothing to say. He just looked down and nodded.

~

Ellen and Barbs were in another taxi. “So?”

“So?”

“Are we going to talk about last night?” Ellen questioned shyly.

Barbs smiled warily. “We totally should,” she agreed.

“I’m so sad it all turned out this way,” Ellen said, “Maybe if I just quit my job-” “Uh-uh,” Barbs cut her off, “You- you cannot do that to Cars!”

She was right.

~

Oh god no. Ellen was crying. It made it all even worse.

Carson had no idea what happened in the other taxi, but it was not good. Honestly, he was extremely sad too. Kurt and Carson had it all planned out, but it just didn’t work. He was moving to Illinois in less than two months.

To Northwestern, yes, but he didn’t expect his mom and Clayton to follow him.

“Are you okay, Cars?”

Carson was pulled out of his thoughts.

“Not sure,” he answered.

“Me neither,” Kurt grunted, “But they are right. And whatever happens, we’ll both end up in New York.”

“Are you really giving up?” Carson was judging Kurt.

“I am not,” Kurt said calmly, “I just- I am accepting it.”

“So, you’re giving up?” Kurt didn’t respond.

Carson nodded to himself and clenched his jaw.

“Look, we’re supposed to say goodbye,” Kurt said, “Let’s not fight, or whatsoever.”

He smiled watery and embraced Carson. Carson did something emotional. He buried his face in Kurt’s neck. He knew that Kurt was smiling.

“Cars, honey, the gate has opened,” Liz announced and Kurt leg to.

“See you at school,” he said.

“See you at school,” Carson repeated and remembered something, “Likewise.”

“Likewise?”

“Likewise.”

~

His last day in Chicago was mostly shopping and partying. Sugar paid for most of it.

But also that came to an end and the next thing Kurt knew was that we was boarding the plane. He sat with his friends and they were all talking excitedly about the trip. Kurt half listened.

“Don’t be sad,” Mercedes told him, “It will be okay. Illinois isn’t that far away. Remember the Parent Trap? They were blocked by a whole ocean.”

She was right, though.

They landed and they basically had to drag Finn home. He was so exhausted.

“Mom, but I still wanna go-” “Have you seen yourself, Finn?” Carole snapped, “You can’t even walk.”

“And now we have to drag you home,” Kurt groaned.

“Guys, why are the lights on?” Barbs questioned and everyone dropped Finn in an instant. She was right. The lights were on. The windows were also open so they were able to hear the TV. Burt face palmed. “I shouldn’t have given her the spare key,” he grumbled.

Oh nice. Aunt Janine and uncle Paul are there. They – of course – want to know what happened in Chicago. Kurt had no time for that bullshit.

“Barbara, remind me to take away her spare key,” Burt said, “And yours too.”

“Excuse me?” Barbs said, “I haven’t done anything.”

“Yet,” Finn said and Barbs hit his head.

“Don’t listen to your stepson, Burt.”

They continued dragging Finn and Burt opened the door. “Janny, for the millionth time, do not use the spare key without a good reason!”

“Honestly, brother,” aunt Janine appeared in the doorway, “I have a good reason to be here.”

“Yeah, sure,” Burt said.

She smiled and gestured for everyone to follow her.

“God, if she made another cake,” Barbs groaned, “The last one was horrible.”

“Not a cake, but someone else,” they heard and Kurt’s eyes widened. No, what? He ran to the living room.

“Heya, brother!” Carson grinned smugly.

“Carson?” Kurt asked in disbelief, “I thought you were in the mansion, already deciding what to bring and what not to bring to Illinois?”

“Yeah, about that.”

“Mom?”

“Lizzie?” Burt said in surprise.

“We landed in Ohio and it only took it thirty seconds to realize that we had to keep the family together in Ohio,” Carson smiled.

Clayton, who was watching the game with uncle Paul, nodded. “I made a decision.”

“A career switch,” Carson announced and vowed his hands together.

“Cars, let Clay do the talking thing,” Liz whispered hurriedly.

“I called the board this morning,” Clayton smiled, “I quit.”

“WHAT?” they all jumped in surprise, except for Finn, who still had no idea what was happening. But even uncle Paul and aunt Janine looked surprised.

“I quit the company and I’m going the start my own here, in Lima OH,” Clayton admitted and Kurt quickly gripped his hands onto something. He had no idea what it was, but he couldn’t care less.

Carson crinkled his nose and threw his fist in the air.

“Oh my god, we actually did it!” Barbs jumped into Ellen’s arms.

Carole shook Clayton’s hand and started asking questions about the company. She was really interested. Uncle Paul joined the duo.

Liz and Burt hugged each other in a friendly way and aunt Janine basically tackled them. Finn stood awkwardly in the doorway with Sam.

“We did it, little brother,” Carson put his arm around Kurt.

“Excuse me, who says I’m the younger one?” Kurt said sternly.

 Carson shrugged and screamed: “Maaaaam! Maaaaaam!”

“What?”

“Who was first? Me or pretty face here?”

“I take offense by that,” Kurt muttered and Sam laughed.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Carson, honey, but our ‘pretty face’ is two minutes and seventeen seconds older,” Liz answered and Burt chuckled.

“Oh, burn!” Finn yelled, but stopped when Carson turned to him and gave him a death glare. Finn gulped and Sam patted his back.

Kurt and Carson looked around with identical smiles.

“We really did it, uh?” Kurt said fondly.

“Reunited them?” Carson wondered and Kurt nodded.

“I will cherish this moment forever,” Kurt continued. He had a small speech to make.

“Just, all of this. Us, meeting each other, bringing Barbs and Ellen together, basically blackmailing our parents during doppelgänger 2.0, the whole switch in general… When we’re older, we will tell our children the story of-”

“Are you done?”

“But you have to admit it, this was an amazing experience. You should totally write about it,” Kurt suggested.

“And they should write a play about this and you should get the main role,” Carson said.

“Remember how we kinda disliked each other,” Kurt recalled, “And look at us now. I guess I love you.” “Aw, likewise,” Carson said sweetly.

“Likewise?”

“Likewise.”

Chapter Text

12 years later .

The New York Times 2024,

Malerie Mentions EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE WONDERTWINS.

by Malerie Baggs.

Hello my dear readers, welcome to yet another Malerie Mentions, the best column in the New York Times (suck it, Remy!). Today is a special edition.

They’re in the news everywhere: Kurt Hummel-Anderson and Carson Phillips, also known as the Wondertwins. As you all know, Carson Phillips is the editor in chief of the New York Times and my best friend. Kurt Hummel(-Anderson, but for this time, we’ll leave the “Anderson” part) is an amazing actor, designer and musician.

Luckily, both of them had time to spare. Yes, my dear readers, this is an exclusive interview with the twins themselves.

I sat down and greeted the boys.

MB : Hey Carson!

CP: Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favourite publisher. How are you doing? Haven’t seen you in weeks!

MB : I am great. How was your business trip to Thailand.

CP : [sighs] Very boring, if I may say. [smiles] Being the editor of the New York Times and being the youngest freelance journalist to be published in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune and the Boston Globe takes its toll.

[door opens and the Kurt Hummel walks in]

KH: [waves] Heya, how is everyone?

CP: [whispers] Always the damn optimist.

KH: I heard you, Cars!

Yes, readers, they were already acting like brothers. It was amazing to see. Sometimes, I wish I had a sibling.

MB : If it isn’t Kurt Hummel, please sit down.

KH : [sits] Hi Mal!

MB : Now that you’re both here, let’s gets started. Dear readers, they’re both sitting here. On the left, Carson Phillips, the editor of the New York Times and being the youngest freelance journalist to be published in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune and the Boston Globe.

CP : That’s me.

MB: And on my right, Kurt Hummel

KH : -Anderson

MB : [rolls eyes] Anderson. Sorry, but we’ll be calling you Kurt Hummel for this interview.

KH : [looks surprised] Well, okay then.

MB: Like I was saying, Kurt Hummel! Famous Broadway star who is also an amazing musician – be sure to check his newest album: The Greatest Star -  and has his own label at Vogue. What’s next?

KH : [laughs shyly] Well, I am thinking about following Carson’s footsteps: writing.

CP: [raises his eyebrows]

MB: Yes, Carson! Your autobiography “Clovergate: The Scandal That Started the Man” is still number one on all the best-seller lists for the ninety-seventh week in a row. Congratulations.

CP : [bows] Thank you.

KH : [punches Carson’s shoulder]

MB : Also, rumour has it! You’re writing another bestseller?

CP : [laughs shyly and rubs his temples] Well, yeah. I mean, I’m trying. You’ll never know.

MB : Interesting. Both of you. And wow, you’re only twenty-nine.

By the way, my dear readers, today (27^th of May 2024) is their 30^th birthday. Congrats boys! I love you both.

MB: Kurt, rumour has it too. You and Blaine are expecting a child?

For the ones who don’t know, Blaine (Hummel-)Anderson is that Hobbit-sized Broadway star/musician/actor who is currently playing Fiyero in the Broadway version of Wicked.

KH: [blushes]

CP : [stares at his brother in shock] WHAT?

KH : Well, maybe, uh [covers face in hands] Our surrogate is three months yeah. [grins]

CP : [punches his brother HARD] You bastard! Didn’t even tell me.

That’s when I knew I had to change the topic. I didn’t want the family drama.

MB : So, the “Wondertwins”, uh?

CP : I’m gonna find the one who started calling us that and I’m gonna kick his ***!

KH: [laughs] Carson, be nice. Remember, you were the ***hole in high school.

CP : I bet it was Prince Nicolas Forbes of Clover. That f*cker. He hated me because I was the richest kid in Clover after my mom married the old man.

KH : Carson!

MB : Anyway, I know the story, our friends know the story and now the fans are dying to know the story. Years ago, after you both graduated NYADA and Northwestern on top of your class-

CP: [nods proudly]

MB: -people already saw the similarities, but your last names made it really hard for them. Are you comfortable with sharing the story?

KH : [whispers] You mean the switch?

MB : [nods]

CP : Aw, why the f*ck not? Who’s gonna start?

KH: Well, I was the one who found out.

CP: Do what you have to do.

KH: I found out that we were twins. Carson was the new transfer student and let me tell you, he was a pretentious ***hole, but we forgive him for that.

CP: [grunts]

KH: We were project partners and everyone acted really weird when they saw us together. So I demanded my aunt for information. That’s how he found out.

CP : He told me and after some heavy conversations-

KH: They weren’t that heavy, Carson.

CP : Please, you were basically crying all the time. Anyway, after some conversations, we decided to switch lives à la The Parent Trap, the 1998 version.

KH: But a lot of stuff happened, so we had to switch back. Our parents and stepparents found out. We asked our father to ask my mother to stay – she was about to move.

CP: We failed miserably.

KH: We did look fabulous when we were wearing the same clothes. They couldn’t tell us apart.

CP: Yeah, your clothes. And I think they still wanna know who was who.

KH: [grins] Shall we reveal the secret?

CP : [nods enthusiastically]

KH : I wore the red jacket, right?

CP : Yeah, I was the yellow one.

MB : Awesome.

Popstar Mercedes Jones, who is a close friend, sent me some of the pics she made all those years ago with her phone. See next page!

MB: You guys did that, once. On the red carpet. The interviewer’s face was priceless.

CP: [looks proud]

KH : Anyway, in the end it worked out, right?

CP : Yeah, the parentals were so touched by your Nationals performance, it made them stay.

KH: Mom was touched by your reaction, because you barely showed emotion. Like I said: pretentious ***hole.

CP: So yeah, our stepdad decided to switch careers. We went to college, our families were reunited. I moved to New York and here we are.

KH: Yeah, here we are. [looks fondly]

CP: Yeah, all our parents are in Lima now, together with our “aunts.”

KH : We did it, yeah.

MB : Your “aunts”?

I knew that Carson had one aunt, his mother’s sister Mildred. But two?

KH: My aunt, Barbara, married Carson’s maid. And since we’re brothers, Barbara is also Carson’s aunt and Ellen, the maid, is also my maid. And now she’s our aunt. Because she married our aunt.

CP: [sighs] So confusing. The whole thing though….

MB : And what did you think of the whole thing?

CP : Honestly, to the day of today I still don’t know. Maybe I’m not supposed to know.

KH : You know what I’ve been wondering for some weeks?

CP : [turns to Kurt]

KH: Our mom knew that I lived in Lima.

CP : [paled] Oh man, we really need to talk to her.

MB : Oh my god, what if she wanted you two to find each other. [swoons]

KH: Well, I thank her. [smiles widely] Finding Carson was one of the best moments of my life.

CP: [looked happy] Aw, thanks bro. Likewise.

KH : Likewise?

CP : Likewise.

Oh god, after all these years.