Chapter Text
Searching
-4
Iruka always remembers it as the first time he talked to Kakashi. They both know that isn’t true, of course. The two had talked countless times at the mission desk. They both decide though, that those times don’t really count because all the words exchanged were completely necessary. The day the Iruka decides to go find Kakashi is almost exactly a month after the day that Kakashi announced that his Genin team would be participating in the Chunin exam. For a while now Iruka had been feeling guilty about his outburst on the matter and for not having more faith in his students. More then that though, he felt bad about implying that Kakashi didn’t know his students abilities. Or even worse that he didn’t care if they weren’t ready. So after a month he decides that it is time to track down Kakashi and apologize.
He finally finds Kakashi resting in a tree, head buried in his favorite book. Iruka almost turns around right then. He is not sure that a school teacher should be seen talking to a person that reads stuff like that in public. After making sure that there is no one around, he sighs and decides to get it over with. Kakashi is surprisingly nice about the whole thing. He tells Iruka not to worry about it, that he wasn’t offended, and goes back to reading his book. He of course completely ignores the fact that Iruka is still standing there. Iruka leaves unsure if he feels any better.
-3
The second time Iruka goes looking for Kakashi, for a personal reason, is three months after Naruto leaves the village with Master Jiraiya. He has not heard a word from Naruto and it is really starting to worry him. He had of course asked the Hokage but she merely told him that he worries too much and that he should relax. Iruka hardly finds her assessment reassuring. He knows that if there is any other person in the village who might have heard anything about Naruto it will be Kakashi.
As it turns out he really doesn’t have to go look for Kakashi. Right at the end of his shift at the mission desk, the copy-nin wonders into the room, late report in hand. Iruka is so excited by the turn of events he throws Kakashi’s late report on the stack without scolding him for the coffee stain.
-2
The next time he seeks out Kakashi is because Sakura asked him to. Well, that is not quite accurate. She didn’t exactly ask him to but after their conversation, how could he not? Since she has taken up training with Tsunade-Sama, Kakashi has once again taken to embarking on most of his missions alone. Sakura worried that her former sensei is spending too much time alone. Iruka used his most reassuring tone when asserted that Kakashi would be fine. She didn’t look convinced when he added that she didn’t need to worry. Of course after that, he really does feel obligated to make sure that he didn’t just lie to Sakura and so he sets off to find Kakashi.
Once again luck is on his side and he sees Kakashi walking in the street a sort time later. He stops Kakashi using the excuse of Naruto to strike up a conversation. Kakashi still hasn’t heard anything from Naruto. He assures Iruka that if he does he will pass the information along right away as they agreed the last time that Iruka asked. Kakashi is sure this should end the conversation and is somewhat perplexed as to how ten minutes later he and Iruka are sitting having Ramen. When voices his thoughts out loud Iruka states that it is in honor of Naruto, of course.
-1
Iruka is worried. In the last five months that they have been having these dinners Kakashi has never missed one. Surprisingly, he is never more then a half hour late after the first few times. Now he is two hours late. Iruka tries not to worry for the first hour because Kakashi has been out of the village on a mission might just be running a bit late. When the second hour begins Iruka can’t stop the worry. When the second hour ends Iruka can’t sit still anymore. He knows that the first thing he has to do is find out if Kakashi has come back to the village yet, so he heads for the gate. When he is told that Kakashi came back an hour ago he feels a bit of the tension drain out of him. However, it comes right back when he hears that Kakashi was in rough shape and went straight to the hospital.
He waits all night in the hospital room for Kakashi to wake up even though the doctor insists that Kakashi will be just fine but will sleep though the night. When Kakashi finally does wake up Iruka can’t stop the rant that ensues. Apparently Kakashi can however, because twenty minutes into the rant he does. Iruka has leaned in close to make a point when all of the sudden the sheet which has been firmly coving the bottom half of Kakashi’s face disappears. Iruka doesn’t even really have time to register this before Kakashi’s lips are on his. Iruka thinks he ought to be very miffed that Kakashi is interrupting his very important point. He is about to pull back and say as much when suddenly tongues appear in the mix. Iruka then promptly forgets everything, including that he is mad, as the kiss deepens.
+1
Iruka decides while seething that this time he won’t go look for Kakashi. The fact that he has no Idea what happened only makes him angrier. Well, he does know what happened, sort of. He knows how it started at least. He knows that both he and Kakashi have had a bad day. Actually he only guesses that Kakashi had a bad day based on his behavior. When he gets to Iruka’s apartment, their apartment as Iruka has come to think of it, Kakashi hardly speaks a word. Iruka spends most of dinner trying to cheer him up or draw him into conversation. Dinner is almost finished when Kakashi snaps at him. This breaks the limit of Iruka’s patience as well and so he snaps back. Before Iruka can really register what is happening they are in a full blown heated argument. Instead of fizzling out as their arguments normally do this one only seems to escalate. Iruka hadn’t really realized how close he and Kakashi had become. The argument makes it clear. They know exactly the words to say to cause the most excruciating pain. It keeps building and building until he is screaming at Kakashi to get out. When Kakashi doesn’t comply right way it only feeds the rage more. Then he is screaming for Kakashi to get out and never come back and somehow, even though the rage, he knows he should not have said this. Their fight suddenly stops dead in its tracks. Then Kakashi does leave.
Iruka spends the rest of the night and early hours of the morning going back and fourth between guilt and anger. A few times the guilt almost wins out and he almost goes and looks for Kakashi but every time he is really close the anger rises up again and stops him. In the wee hours of the morning Iruka gives up the fight and falls asleep. When he wakes in the morning Kakashi still hasn’t come back. Iruka isn’t really surprised though. After all the horrible things he said the night before he can’t blame Kakashi for not coming back.