Chapter Text
Subject: Anbu Kakashi is triggered on a mission and has a nightmare
Rating: T
Pairing: ANBU!Kakashi x ANBU!Reader
You exhaled quietly from behind a bush, watching your two comrades as they mounted a sizable tree to keep a lookout for enemies. You watched as the younger one grew branches from his palms to make it easier to grasp on to. The older one compensated with his lanky legs and long arms as they reached the top, quickly squatting and removing their porcelain masks.
Watching carefully on the ground, you made sure to keep yourself disciplined, focusing on the task at hand. Beside you sat your other comrade, his face straight ahead as he too remained disciplined in his silence. In your pocket was a scroll that held the mission objective that you had perhaps opened and looked over a dozen times. You were confident in your ability as a medic ninja to supply the best support you could to your four-man team.
Your mission was to assassinate each member of a team of rogue scientists located on the edge of the Land of Wind. When Lord Third had produced the scroll to your captain, you remained hesitant about the objective, not seeing the reasoning behind it. However, upon more research, you and your team learned of the high risk the scientists were to the entire shinobi race.
Shi no Kagaku-sha, literally translating to Scientists of Death, had a mission to develop and distribute a deadly and highly contagious disease that caused chakra levels skyrocket. This, however, wasn’t the only issue at hand. The disease not only affected a shinobi’s chakra levels, but their brain chemistry was also impacted. As the stream of the disease would be from the same origin, the Kagaku-sha desired to be able to control anyone who was affected by the disease, ultimately being able to control anyone diagnosed.
With your medical jutsu, you trained hard before this mission to try and find a cure, but there was nothing you could do without knowing the basis of the disease. Trying to extract it from a person who contracted it would only result in developing the disease yourself.
“I see something up ahead,” the Captain jumped down from the trees, his silver hair moving in the wind. His junior jumped down also, the team readying themselves for an attack.
“If my projection is correct, they should be heading this way towards the Hidden Sand Village, as it is going to be their first target,” Kakashi informed the team. “Tenzo, you stand above. Use your wood jutsu as a barrier if they become too hard to handle. Shami, you come with me. [Y/N], you stand back, as we will need you and your blood bending as the last case scenario if Tenzo, Shami and I can’t handle the situation. Remember, we don’t know what their method is in regards to transporting the virus, so keep on your toes. If something were to happen, [y/n] is here to help.”
“Hai,” they all responded. Tenzo and Shami quickly retreated, resuming their positions as Kakashi had informed them. Silently, you stood in the dark forest with him as he held his mask, watching you.
“Be careful,” you whispered, your voice hushed.
“You do the same,” he responded, his glowing Sharingan bright against his other black eye. Thoughtfully, he tapped your shoulder, making sure to not show too much of your new awkward affection towards each other in such a risky scenario. Just as quickly, he left and you resumed your position behind the bush.
Moments passed and you could hear people moving in the distance. Suddenly, you could see them: four rogue shinobi men of the Hidden Mist village walking towards you on the path through the forest. A shuriken cut through the dark sky, slicing through the chest plate of one of the Kagaku-sha. Quickly, they became defensive, drawing their swords and pointing it in the direction of the weapon.
The sound of a thousand birds echoed in the night and was quickly punched through one of the men’s chest from behind. Three remained and you heard Shami mutter extension jutsu, his arm extending and wrapping around one of the men’s necks until he turned blue.
This was too easy, you thought.
The man dropped to his knees, landing face first in the gravel.
“ANBU black ops of the Hidden Leaf,” one man cooed. “What a surprise.”
Kakashi lifted his hand again, his Chidori sounding loudly in your ears.
“I’ve got it!” Shami’s arm extended, spikes coming out of his skin as he passed Kakashi.
“Wait!” Kakashi yelled as Shami ran past him.
Before he could do anything, the leader of the Kagaku-sha lifted his hand, his long, pointed nail penetrating the skin of Shami in an instant. You heard your comrade yell and drop to his knees. You ran towards him, as Tenzo and Kakashi quickly recovered and ran towards the two men.
You squatted next to him, your hands ready as they glowed green with chakra. Your comrade hunched over, his arms wrapped around his abdomen.
“Just stay still,” you told him. You began to shake, feeling incompetent as you were unsure of what to do.
“You’re going to be okay,” you heard yourself lie.
Shami’s body began to glow blue as he shook next to you. You looked up, seeing only one man standing between your two comrades.
“No,” you heard him say. “I’m not doing this - no!”
He stood up, forcing his body to move towards the men.
“Shami!” You yelled, following him but not touching him. “I have to heal you!”
The sound of a thousand birds echoed through the night as Kakashi bolted towards the last man standing.
“I will not infect my village!”
Before you could stop him, you watched as Shami walked in front of Kakashi’s Chidori, piercing his chest instantly. His body ceased glowing and he dropped to his knees. You yelled in anguish, as Kakashi stood there, watching his comrade fall face first at his feet.
He stood there, his body rigid suddenly.
“Weak!” the man yelled. You gritted your teeth, running past Kakashi and Tenzo as they stood there astonished.
“Blood Bending Jutsu: Seal of Death!” You interlocked your fingers and weaved the signs for the jutsu to cease blood movement in the body. Finally, the last man fell to the floor and you searched him for any pieces of information you could bring back to Konoha.
Finally, you stood up and looked back at your comrades as they hovered over Shami. Tenzo picked him up, wrapping him over his shoulder to carry back.
The Captain, however, still stood there, his hand raised in the same position it was. He lifted his mask, and even from a few feet away, you could see the distress, sorrow, and grief residing in his eyes.
* * * * * * * * * *
~ One Week After ~
Your team was heading back from another mission. Kakashi had been offered leave after the death of Shami, but denied it.
Your relationship, or whatever you wanted to call it, had been stagnant. His emotions and expressions had been neutral, with the exception of the occasional heartache you could see in his eyes in the morning when you came together for training. As the day went on, it would disappear, only to return the next morning with deeper circles under his eyes.
“We should stop to sleep,” Tenzo had suggested as they leaped from one branch to another. “We won’t make it tonight and we’ll only deplete our stamina more if we keep going.”
Kakashi grunted in agreement, and you looked over at him. His mask hid his expression, but you knew what he was thinking about.
You thought of when you were little, and you had heard of your classmate Rin’s death. You heard through the grapevine of how she had passed, and yet, you were unsure if it was true. You wondered if it haunted him as much as it shook you.
“There’s a cave just north of here if you want to stop,” you suggested. Kakashi quickly rerouted, and an hour later, the three of you found yourselves walking into the dark cave for a night of sleep. Tenzo agreed to keep watch for the first two hours while you and Kakashi caught up on sleep and replenished your chakra.
You ached to be near to him, and you wondered if he felt the same. When you looked at him though, you could tell he had other things on his mind and you felt foolish for thinking such immature thoughts after such a traumatic and recent experience. He wished you a good sleep and rested himself upon a smooth rock.
Finally, you found yourself drifting off to sleep also. It may have been twenty minutes or an hour later, you weren’t sure when you were startled awake by the sounds of Kakashi yelling in his sleep.
His previously placid face was crunched in a pained expression, his fingers gripping the ground as if he was in physical agony. He gritted his teeth in his sleep as you crept closer, wondering if he was awake and hadn’t told you he was previously injured on your mission.
You watched him as you raised a glowing hand, and his features twitched, his jaw clenched as he breathed in heavily through his nose.
“Kakashi?” you whispered, carefully touching his shoulder. He jolted awake, yelling as he sat up, a thin coat of sweat gracing his skin. He breathed in heavily, his chest rising and falling as he held it. His chin dipped to his collarbone and he squeezed his eyes shut, angry.
Suddenly, his arm extended and punched your team’s equipment that laid in a pile next to him. He was angry. He swore, looking away as tears welled up in his eyes.
“Kakashi,” you began, touching his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
He paused, not looking at you as he held the side of his face with his knuckles.
“No,” he finally answered.
“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, your hand sliding down his arm. He tensed under your soft touch and you pulled away. He looked over at you finally, finally making eye contact in the dimly lit cave. His eyes were tired, tears reluctantly welled up within one.
“I can’t sleep at night anymore,” he whispered. “I don’t like closing my eyes. I just see Rin and now Shami. Both of them died - because of me.”
His lips curled in a grimace, and you could tell how hard it was for him to even speak about his emotions. He swore again, looking away.
“I could have -”
“You could have nothing,” you interrupted, touching his shoulder again. Still tense, you noticed.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. Both of these circumstances were because your comrades wanted to protect the entire shinobi nation. You - no listen to me - you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“They’re dead,” he crumbled, finally breaking. You felt him lean into you, and suddenly you were enveloping him in your arms as he cried into your chest. This was so uncharacteristic of him, and yet, it was warranted. He deserved to mourn, he deserved to have a moment of weakness. He was always so strong, always a leader.
“It’s over,” you whispered to him. “I’m here.”
You held him as he weeped into your shirt, unsure of how else to comfort him with your words. Instead, you just used your touch; fingering his silver hair at the nape of his neck. Slowly, you felt his body relax.
“We should get some sleep,” he finally suggested. “Yamato - I mean Tenzo, will be coming to switch shifts soon.”
“I suppose you’re right,” you felt him let go of you, feeling suddenly empty without the warmth of his body.
There was an awkward moment between the two of you as you sat there in the dark. You thought he might kiss you as his eyes flickered to your lips. Instead, he laid back down on his smooth rock. You frowned, hiding your disappointment as you laid down next to him, once again feeling foolish for thinking such things. You weren’t even sure if he liked you the way you liked him and it was dumb to have such a school girl crush on your captain and childhood friend.
You faced him, your proximity closer to him than before. A moment later, you felt him reach for you in the dark, pulling you close across the cave floor.
“I -” he began, his voice unsure, “Is it okay if I hold you tonight?”
You felt yourself turn red as he pulled you into his chest. The heat of his body filled you again and you felt yourself relax.
“Of course,“ you replied quietly, trying to keep your voice even.
He paused, placing his chin on the top of your head.
”[y/n],“ he said, noticing he called you by your real name and not your code name.
"Hmm?” You responded quietly.
“Thank you.”
You smiled again at him, “you’re welcome.”