Work Text:
time for Edgey to get a watch
and a map
“Mr. Wright, noooooooo! Noo~~~~~o!”
“Polly, stop throwing your arms in the air and being useless,” rebuked pink prosecutor with the waggle of his finger, “We need to save the Phoenix now.”
“But Mr. Edgeworth,” protested horn man, “we don't have a defense attorney badge.”
“'Tis fine.” Pinky snapped his fingers liketh a von Karma.
And poof, a wild Raymond appeared!
“I have a badge!” exclaimed the uncle guy helpfully.
“Good,” said Miles with a nod. He then grabbed the front of his suit with both hands and ripped it open. “Arrryaaah!” Underneath was an identical pink suit and cravat. Except now he had a mustache again, and it was far more burly and manly. “Alright, now we can go.” He whistled with two fingers to mouth, summoning the office dog. “Now, everyone mount the Vongole!”
They did, three silly lawyermen and two kiddos onto a small little doggy-dog in a manner that wasn't at all possible. Miles threw out a finger forward. “Onward! To Phoenix!”
“Arf! Arf!”
They passed through the wall and walked onto the street. And walked, and walked, and walked. A snail past them.
“Vongole, you're too slow!” cried Trucy.
“Yes, you're right, little girl,” agreeded Miles. So he yanked his cravat off and shook it with both hands until it grew very, very big. He threw it on the road. “Now step on it!” he ordered the cute furry creature.
Vongole did what he was told.
“AlakannggooOooOogh!” And with Miles' prosecutor superpowers, they were flying in the air via magic cravat.
Polly asked, “How come we're still mounted to Vongole?”
“'Cause we need to enter with style,” answered Miles.
After exactly 7.2965 seconds, they landed near the mighty Detention Center Fortress.
“Alright, now we can save Mr. Wright!” yelled the guy who likes to yell a lot.
“Yeayyyyyyyy!” cheered the girls.
“No,” said Miles, suddenly off dog and cravat, “Only I can save the daddy in distress. But first, I need a weapon and a shield.” He grabbed Polly with one arm, turned him sideways, and held him under armpit. He then spit on free hand and shaped the red man's two spikes to make them super hard and spikey somehow. “Now I just need a shield.” He turned to face Raymond. “Or a Shields.”
Uncle guy tried to object: “Wait, I don't want to be a--!”
But it was too late. Defense attorney instantly morphed into a blue and brown triangular defensy thing with eyeballs, a fedora, and curly hair poking out both sides.
“Yes, everything is going according to plan,” declared Edgey happily as he grabbed the shield. “Now I must infiltrate all sneakily like.” He turned to the girls and pointed at them using the hair-horn weapon. “You two. Go be like kiddies and distract the bad cop guys.”
“Okay!” they agreed like they were the same person. It was kind of creepy.
They ran forward to the building, and Edgey watched as they jumped at and toppled all the guards.
“That was far more effective than I thought it would be,” Miles remarked. He then faced the evil boss building and braced himself like the good hero-protagonist that he was. “So I'm the only one left, am I? Let's do this.”
He charged forward with a lot of yelling, holding his lawyer weapons above his head menacingly.
He ran through open door.
“Miles!”
“Nicky!”
He stopped at the sight of his beloved, dropping both the useless Polly and Ray.
But the meanie Chief of Police was there too. “Oh no you don't.” He stepped in front of the wannabe hobo.
“Angel-face, save me!” cried the bird man.
“Don't worry, Phoenix! Use your PaPa beanie! It's had deus ex machina abilities this whole time!”
Nicky took off his bright blue beanie and whacked the police chief with it until he was KO-ed. “Cool! I didn't know it could do that!”
Miles drew dramatically closer. “Of course, it's the power of our love.”
“But it's Trucy's love--”
“Phoenix baby!” Miles started running.
“Darling!”
They met each other and squeezed each other's cheeks with loving force.
“Phoenix, I knew we'd some day be together aga--”
But Nick ripped the mustache off of Miles' face, causing the latter to cry out painfully, and turned away. “Oh my dearest!” he told the mustache, “I knew you would come for me!”
He gave the caterpillar of gray fur a nice slobbery kiss. And did some other unsavory things we won't speak about.
Needless to say, our poor Miles was traumatized. “Nrghoooooooooooooooh!!!!”
But he woke up.
“Oh,” said Miles, wiping a pink pajamas arm across his gross forehead as he examined the bed he was in and the slumbering Phoenix next to him, “The whole Eduard Richter thing was just a dream.”
His head fell back against the pillows.
And he went nighty-night.
The End