Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The first time he saw him, Hoseok was hurting so bad that he couldn’t cry. He had stood up for one of his friends – thinking that it was what friends should do – and there he was, not feeling his jaw, one of his eyes closing almost entirely and his uniform ripped. His arms were so painful, they couldn’t really protect him anymore. He was about to give up, ready to go back home with two or three broken ribs when he felt someone grabbing his arm and pushing him back. Hoseok fell hard on his ass, scratching his hands, but that didn’t matter, he knew worst could happen. He closed his eyes, ready to receive more. The punches never came. And still, he didn’t open his eyes, waiting for them, knowing they would come eventually.

Hoseok heard someone swearing, maybe falling and then silence. He shivered, scared, unable to do anything, not even breathing. If he was silent enough, maybe they would forget about him and go. None of his friends had come to help him, the only way for him to be safe was for his assailants to get bored. Or maybe for a teacher to pass-by, but there were hardly anyone coming behind school, even more at that time of the day, when almost everyone had already left to enjoy their week-end.

Hoseok didn’t open his eyes when he heard footsteps coming closer to him, curling up to seem smaller, asking under his breath to be left alone. He didn’t care if everyone decided to make fun of him because he couldn’t fight back, or piety him because he was in the worst shape. He only wanted to be left alone, all his limbs aching, unable to cry or to say anything to defend himself. If everyone could forget about him…

“You should open your eyes” someone said and Hoseok startled so violently and his ribs hurt so much that it took his breath away. He whimpered but didn’t open his eyes, only hiding his face behind his hands. Someone sighed and Hoseok sobbed.

The other crouched in front of him and took his hands away from his face. Hoseok shivered again, trying to rip his hands of the other’s grip, but the other didn’t let him.

“They’re gone” he said, his voice low and careful “you have nothing to be afraid of”. Hoseok breathed in, slowly, not sure if he could believe the other.

“They’re gone” the other repeated when Hoseok didn’t budge.

“Were you not one of them?” Hoseok asked, regretting it almost immediately. Maybe the other would decide Hoseok hadn’t had enough and punch him again.

“Why would I beat you up?” The other said, not letting go of Hoseok’s hands. Hoseok could feel blood all over his palms, but it didn’t seem to bother the other one. “Open your eyes now. It’s going to be night soon and I need to go home” he said to Hoseok, before adding “and I can’t leave you there all alone. Come on, open your eyes so we can go home.”

Hoseok opened his eyes. At first, he couldn’t see a thing, blinded by the setting sun. He blinked, once, twice. In front of him, he finally saw the silhouette of the other, still holding his hands and crouching in front of him. But his vision was blurred, and his left eye wouldn’t open more than a millimeter. Hoseok was sure he couldn’t go home like that.

“Stand up” the other said and he pulled Hoseok up.

Unsure on his legs, Hoseok tried to make out the other’s face. The sun had almost disappeared behind the trees. The sky was darker by the minute. The other turned to face him once again, not smiling, only looking at him, his hand around Hoseok’s wrist to lead him. It was the first time Hoseok saw him. His left eye started to cry.

*

Hoseok was not sure why he decided to start boxing, but this was when he saw him again. Everything healed so slowly, and a bit more than a month after the incident, there was no bruise left, except for a tiny scare just above his left eyebrow. With his hair down, nobody could see it. Only Hoseok knew about it and still, he thought that everybody could notice it. Maybe this was the reason he decided to take boxing classes. The bruises he would get there would not be shaming him, but rewarding him. He didn’t want to feel ashamed anymore.

He registered at the boxing center at twenty minutes from his home, because everyone said it was the better from miles around. It looked like every other building from the outside, but from the inside, it was a whole new world. Four training rings on the first floor, the locker room on the second floor, with the coach’s office and the infirmary. Not so much noise, except for the punches and the heavy-breathing. The windows one the right side were huge, big enough to take more than half the wall in height. Many duffle bags were left against the wall near the entry, with shoes and almost empty bottles. In the very end of the room, a mirror gave the illusion that the first floor was even larger than what it already was.

Hoseok was impressed, he felt little. Many of the men he saw were much older than him, or at university. He almost felt reassured when he saw two upperclassmen from high school.

“Are you coming to observe or to practice?” someone asked and Hoseok jumped a little, turning to his left.

“To practice” he said, holding his own bag tight. The man next to him nodded, a reassuring smile on his lips and told him to follow him.

“You are the one who called two days ago, aren’t you?” Hoseok only nodded “Why do you want to learn boxing?”

Hoseok looked at his shoes, he was not sure what he should say. The man let him think about it for a few minutes before he said “You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to. But it is better to have a goal when you start something.”

They entered the coach’s office where another man was reading something behind a desk. On one wall there were photos, one for each year group. Hoseok had no time to look at them, the coach already focusing on him.

“Jung Hoseok, right?” Hoseok nodded. “Have you already learned boxing before?”

“Never” he said, “but that’s why I want to learn.”

The coach looked at a list in front of him for a minute.

“Do you have great reflexes?” he asked and Hoseok was not sure how he should answer.

“I think? I dance and…” he said but the coach interrupted him “You dance?”

“Yes” Hoseok said with a little smile.

“That’s good” the coach said, looking at the man who took Hoseok there. “it may be faster for him to learn… could anyone teach him some tricks? To see how good he can be?”

“Everyone is practicing for the upcoming contest and the two high schoolers are not good enough yet to help anyone.”

The coach frowned. “Yoongi will take care of him then” he said after a minute.

“Yoongi?” the other man asked, visibly surprised.

“There is no one else to take care of him and Yoongi is not participating to the contest.”

“But… with Hyeon Wu it was…”

“Hyeon Wu really improved before he left. They were good partners. And it’s for nothing more than two weeks, until the contest. I’ll take care of Hoseok’s training then. I’m sure Yoongi can help him a bit.”

“Fine”, the other man said before turning to Hoseok “Come with me, I’ll introduce you to Yoongi.”

Hoseok didn’t expect for Yoongi to be the one who had helped him. He was surprised to see him. After he had come home the night of the incident, the boy by his side, helping him to see where he was going, Hoseok had try to find him again. Nobody could tell him who the boy was and Hoseok had convinced himself that nobody had help him that day, that he had been beaten up until his assailants got bored and left.

But here he was, in front of him, boxing gloves on, punching hard at a punching ball. His thin and yet powerful frame was making it swung so hard that Hoseok couldn’t take his eyes away from it until the boy stopped to look at him.

“Yoongi, your father needs you to teach him some tricks while everyone is preparing for the contest. Just to see how he can move” the other man said and Hoseok looked down.

“Fine” the boy – Yoongi – said, taking off his gloves.

“You’ll only have to take care of him for two weeks”, the other man added and Yoongi nodded.

“Do you know how to do boxing?” Yoongi asked when the other man was gone, and Hoseok shook his head. Yoongi didn’t say anything for one or two minutes and Hoseok thought that maybe, he should have chosen another sport.

“That’s fine”, Yoongi finally said, stopping just in front of Hoseok. “You can learn. And I’ll help you”.

“Thanks”, Hoseok mumbled, looking up.

Yoongi was not looking at him, but at a scratch on his glove. Hoseok was not sure if Yoongi remembered him, and he was not even sure if he wanted him to remember him. Maybe, after leaving Hoseok in front of his house, he had felt sorry for him, and forgot him the next day. Hoseok would not be surprised if, after almost two months, Yoongi didn’t even remember helping him.

*

Yoongi hadn’t forget about Hoseok. He had bumped into him after the incident, never on purpose, without Hoseok noticing him, and had seen how his bruises had healed. He had kept an eye on him, from a far, because he wanted to understand why he had been beaten up that day. It was not like the other students wanted his money nor that Hoseok was hated by his classmates.

“I’ve heard about him” Namjoon had said at lunch when Yoongi had asked “he tried to help one of his friends or something. But nobody helped him”. Yoongi could see that Namjoon disapproved of the other students’ reactions but he said nothing. He knew nothing about Hoseok, not even his name, and they were not friends. He had helped him once, but it was not his job to help him every time. If his “friends” could not help him, this boy had to find better ones.

Maybe it was because he had concluded, after watching him for weeks, that Hoseok was more of a book person than a sport person that he was surprised to see him now. Hoseok didn’t feel comfortable there, so much Yoongi could tell by only looking at him from the corner of his eye, as Hoseok left his bag on the floor, looking around him.

“We are not going to do too much today” Yoongi finally said when Hoseok looked up at him, his arms on each side of his body “You’re going to put on some gloves and see how it is to punch with them”. Hoseok only nodded, following Yoongi to the shelves where the gloves were.

“Give me your hand” Yoongi commanded and Hoseok obeyed. He had long and slim fingers, Yoongi noticed, more suited to play some instrument, not made to punch, but he didn’t mouth his thoughts and helped Hoseok to put the gloves on, explaining him how to do it correctly to not hurt himself.

For one hour, they practiced some easy things and Yoongi was surprised to see that Hoseok understood fast and how agile he was. Before knowing it, he was teaching him some real boxing moves, and Hoseok learnt them almost immediately.

“You’re good” Yoongi complimented him once they were done “If you keep going like that, I think you can beat this two there”.

Hoseok looked at the two high schoolers in the back of the room and smile.

“You think so?” he asked, looking back at Yoongi who was helping him taking off his gloves.

“Only if you train seriously” he said.

“I will" Hoseok answered.

*

It took only two more sessions for Hoseok to warm up to Yoongi and for Yoongi to talk more. It was still awkward between them – because Hoseok wondered if Yoongi had really forgotten about him and because Yoongi thought that Hoseok didn’t want to talk about the incident – but Hoseok was making Yoongi laughed from time to time and they enjoyed their time together.

“You can take a break” Yoongi said at the end of the third session.

“Thanks God” Hoseok sighed, falling on his butt in the middle of the room. It was Thursday and there were less than ten persons in the boxing club, but the punching noises were still numerous. Sometimes, Hoseok could even hear them after leaving, on his way home. He loved those sounds. Strangely, he found them almost as soothing as the sore pain in his limbs after training for more than two hours.

Hoseok closed his eyes, breathing in deeply, before exhaling slowly. From behind him, he could hear Yoongi searching for something in his bag, before he sat right next to him.

“Why did you choose to do boxing?” he asked, startling Hoseok when he throw a towel at him. Hoseok wiped his face and neck, all his nerves suddenly very tight. Did Yoongi remember?

“I think it’s cool. And I can have more muscles” he answered, without looking at Yoongi, hoping his answer convinced him. He was not sure he wanted Yoongi to know the real reason, afraid he might look at him differently. He could feel Yoongi observing him but couldn’t turn his head. He didn’t want to read on Yoongi’s face what he was thinking and just wished they start training again. He was about to stand up when Yoongi said “You could have chosen football or basketball”.

“I could have” Hoseok answered, his voice very thin.

“But you didn’t” Yoongi concluded “because of what happened to you”.

Hoseok didn’t say anything. He wanted to hide and forget about everything. But Yoongi was right in front of him, pulling him up once again after months and he couldn’t look into his eyes.

“I’m not judging you” Yoongi said, studying Hoseok’s face, trying to meet his eyes “But you shouldn’t learn to do boxing to take revenge.”

Only then did Hoseok look up, but not directly in Yoongi’s eyes, frowning “I’m not going to take revenge. I… just want to learn. To became better… It’s just… I don’t want something like that to happen to me ever again.”

Hoseok was sincere, Yoongi could tell it. And he was determined too. He was not like Yoongi had imagined him to be, months ago, and he couldn’t really figure him out. Still, Yoongi liked it. Hoseok had been hard-working since day one and Yoongi knew he was kind-hearted. But he also knew that it was not all. Hoseok was hiding more than that, but he couldn’t tell what it was. Hoseok was a complicated person.

Before he knew it however, he was smiling and shaking Hoseok by the shoulders. The younger was looking at him, surprised.

“I’ll train you then” he said seriously and he saw Hoseok’s brows shot up. But soon enough, the younger was smiling too, even though he kept avoiding Yoongi’s eyes.

*

From that point, things became much easier between them and even after the boxing contest, Yoongi kept teaching Hoseok. There were less training sessions when he entered college but neither of them mind it, and when it was Hoseok’s turn to leave high school, they did not train at the same time anymore. Even though, Hoseok kept reaching out for Yoongi. And when the elder eventually answered his messages, they always went to the riverbank, when there were so much people it was hard to walk straight. But they went there nonetheless, because like this they did not have to talk while walking, knowing the other was right beside them.

Sometimes, because Yoongi was always stopping to take photos, Hoseok would lost him in the crowd, but Yoongi would always been able to find him back, grabbing at his backpack or at his wrist, pulling him to the side, in the shadows of a building.

It was more unusual when Yoongi lost Hoseok. The younger was always in front of him, not looking at anything specifically, walking to a destination they didn’t know. Yoongi liked to look at his back, trying to guess what his expression could be. But sometimes, he would look away for too long and Hoseok would disappear.

This time again, he had lost him. He tried to see him in the crowd, but he was nowhere to be found. And even though he knew the younger one was close, the sun was blinding him and people were going too fast for his eyes to settle on anyone. If he had his number, he could call him, but he had never asked for it and Hoseok had never given it to him. They were not really friends yet, Yoongi realized. It was like they just happen to be in the same place at the same time.

*

“Are you drunk?” Yoongi asked when he spoted Hoseok, lying against the wall next to his door.

“No, I’m not” Hoseok said, looking up and Yoongi could see all the bruises on his face. “But the other was.”

“Did you fight?” Yoongi was puzzled. Hoseok was not much of a fighter, he knew that. But he also knew that those bruises were indeed from receiving punches. He couldn’t stop himself from frowning and Hoseok looked away.

“No” he said, looking at his hands, wounded as well. “Some drunk man got mad thinking I was looking at him dirty.”

The man hadn’t just “got mad”, Yoongi thought, he went crazy. One of Hoseok’s brow was split in half, dry blood on it, and his lips did not look much better, the younger grimacing each time he talked.

“But you didn’t just let him punch you, right?” Yoongi didn’t like the sad little smile he saw when Hoseok lifted his head again, reaching for Yoongi’s hand. The older one helped him up and they entered his apartment.

“No I didn’t. I think he might still be knocked out in front of the supermarket he started punching me.”

Yoongi sighed, almost angry. Nobody should be punching someone else out of nowhere. Hoseok should never be punched out of nowhere.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have punched him back”, Hoseok whispered and Yoongi turned around, eyes wide.

“And let him punch without a reason? You can’t be serious.”

Hoseok lowered his head. He had always been soft-hearted, much more than what was healthy. Yoongi didn’t know what to say for him not to feel guilty.

“If you hadn’t punched back,” he said slowly, “I would have found him and punched him for you.”

Yoongi knew it was not what he should be saying to Hoseok for him to feel better, but he couldn’t help himself. His blood boiled a bit more each time he would spot a new bruise.

“I know”, Hoseok said, his right hand shaking a bit, his eyes unable to settle on Yoongi. The elder sighed and took Hoseok’s hand in his. He wanted to hug him and to tell him everything was okay.

“Why are you here though?” he still asked. Hoseok seemed hurt by the question. “I mean, I’m sure your roommate would have been better than me to treat your bruises…”

“Nobody’s home” Hoseok said in a small voice, following Yoongi in the bathroom. “And I’m bad to take care of me myself.”

“I know”, Yoongi mumbled, more to himself, remembering all the times he had to help Hoseok after training, because his muscles were too sore, or when he had to remind him to eat. But this time was different. This time the bruises were worst and Hoseok seemed too helpless for Yoongi not to reach for his cheek, stroking gently at the skin there. Hoseok closed his eyes and leaned in his touch. His cheek was turning purple and Yoongi didn’t want to imagine how it would look like in a couple of hours.

“Hyung…” Yoongi smiled but said nothing. He took his emergency kit from under the sink and they remain silent while he took care of Hoseok’s wounds.

“I don’t want to go home” Hoseok said when Yoongi was finished cleaning all his wounds. “Jimin is probably home now, and I don’t want to explain it all to him tonight. I’m too tired for this… and Namjoon is not there, right? Just let me sleep on your couch.”

“Namjoon will be home in a few hours”, Yoongi said, leaving the bathroom. Hoseok was following right after him. They settled on the couch together, because Namjoon coming home didn’t mean Yoongi refused to let Hoseok stay and the younger one knew it.

Like they always did when they sat together on a couch, Hoseok leaned against Yoongi, his head thrown back, one hand on Yoongi’s knee. Yoongi had his fingers in Hoseok’s hair, who sighed happily, petting his head gently.

“I like when you do that”, Hoseok said with a tired voice. Yoongi just hummed back, never stopping his fingers and the younger one leaned a bit more on him, his head on his chest this time.

“I know you like it. You always ask the person the closest to you to do it when you’re tired.”

“But I like it better when you do it”. Yoongi didn’t answer, looking down at Hoseok, his heart hammering in his chest. Hoseok had always been like that, straightforward, honest, and Yoongi had always like it about him. He wanted to tell it to Hoseok, but he didn’t know how and before he could come up with something, the front door opened, Namjoon appearing.

“Is Hoseok there?” he almost yelled from the entry. Yoongi cringed, because Namjoon had always be too loud. He still answered him with a little “yes”.

“Oh” was all Namjoon said when he saw Hoseok against Yoongi, eyes closed, and how in bad shape he was. Namjoon and Hoseok were not friends per say. They knew each other from Yoongi, had already eaten pizza on the floor together, while watching crappy movies, but that was it. They had never really talk, because most of the time Yoongi had met Hoseok outside, or invited him when Namjoon was not home. Even though they met at university from time to time they never got the opportunity to get to know each other. But Namjoon could see how Yoongi was looking at the younger and, well, maybe he should have taken the opportunity, just to see how good Hoseok was and why Yoongi loved him so much. Maybe he also felt a bit bad about Hoseok.

“What happened?” he asked, but Yoongi only looked at him without saying anything and Namjoon understood not to insist. If Yoongi wanted to explain it, he would do it at some point. But not now.

“I’m going to bed” he said as he went to his room with a sympathetic smile. Yoongi nodded and his eyes settled back on Hoseok.

“Are sleeping Hope?”

It was the first time Yoongi called Hoseok this. It was strange, new, but he liked it. Something tightened in his chest when he said it again.

“Hope? Are you awake?”

Yoongi had his nose in Hoseok’s hair. It smelled like coconut, vanilla and mint. It was a weird mix, yet again, Yoongi liked it. He liked the smell of his hair, and its texture. Maybe he liked Hoseok.

“You should take care of yourself, Hope” he whispered. “Don’t let anyone hurt you”.

“I won’t” Hoseok mumbled in Yoongi’s chest.

*

It became a habit for Yoongi to call Hoseok Hope when they were alone. He did it when he was sleepy and wanted Hoseok to come closer. He did it when Hoseok didn’t look good and he wanted him to relax. He did it to praise him, to make him feel better, to see him smile.

Yoongi adored Hoseok’s smile. It was bright, soothing and calming. Even though he couldn’t see it often enough.

“Hyung, why is it so hard to see you?” Hoseok asked as they were sitting on one of the benches near the riverbank. Yoongi didn’t answer immediately, didn’t really know how to. He was not very social, hadn’t learn how to be, didn’t really want to be. He always tried to answer when one of his friends called him, but he never called first. Until now, Namjoon was the only one who had stick to him for so long. Yoongi had never really care that people, little by little, left his side. He only noticed it when they were gone for good.

But it was different with Hoseok. He wanted him to keep asking him out for a walk. He wanted him to come to see him when he was too lazy to go outside and he wanted him to always reach for him. But Yoongi hadn’t learnt how to tell Hoseok what he wanted, so he didn’t, and kept disappearing from time to time, only coming back when Hoseok called him. Because this was what he could do best.

“What do you mean?” He said, even though he perfectly knew what Hoseok meant. “I came immediately after you told me you wanted to see me.”

Hoseok turned to Yoongi, face serious, a hand on his knee, the other supporting his head.

“It’s been three months since I last saw you hyung. Three months.”

“I was busy. You know that, Hope.”

“I know.” Yoongi could hear disappointment in Hoseok’s voice “But what I don’t know, is why Namjoon could see you when I couldn’t.”

Yoongi wanted to say “because we live together, dummy”, but he didn’t. He was sure it was not what Hoseok wanted to hear. Instead he said “I am always here when you need me to be.”

Hoseok didn’t answer.

*

Hoseok was drunk. But it was his birthday and he felt so happy. Each of the friends he loved the most was there with him, screaming a bit too loud, dancing, drinking and laughing. Taehyung, Namjoon’s brother, had his arm over Jimin’s shoulder and they were bouncing to the music on the other side of the room as Namjoon was trying to convince Yoongi that, yes, he could drink more than three glasses of beer in less than a minute. The windows of his apartment were wild open and he could hear the noises of traffic outside. Maybe the passersby could also hear what was going on in his apartment as well, but Hoseok didn’t mind it. The night was too good to close the windows.

“You’re gonna catch a cold.” Hoseok turned his head to look at Yoongi next to him and smiled.

“It’s fine hyung. It’s hot inside.”

“And it is February outside. It’s too cold for you to let this window open.”

Hoseok pouted but moved away from the window as Yoongi closed it.

“If you are hot, you should stop drinking.”

“I stop drinking an hour ago,” Hoseok lied “I’m fine.”

“You always are”, Yoongi said back. Hoseok frowned.

“What do you mean?”

Yoongi sat back on the couch and said “You are always happy is what I mean.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Yoongi shook his head, patting the couch for Hoseok to sit next to him.

“Of course not. It’s better this way.” Even though I can’t tell if you really are always all that happy, he thought. Yoongi could remember the look in Hoseok’s eyes the first time he had met him and how blank his expression had been. At the time, he had thought Hoseok was a bullied, but he had been proved wrong the next day. Even with all his bruises, he had been smiling every time Yoongi had seen him. Even to this day, he couldn’t tell how fake this smile was. Only that he was not as bright as the smile he had grown fond of.

Namjoon had stood up to sing with Jimin and Taehyung and Yoongi could barely hear anything else than his voice. Next to him, Hoseok looked delighted as he laughed at their performance, his smile so big it seemed unreal. Yoongi was smiling, as well. If not for Hoseok, he would probably already be in bed, trying to sleep for more than three hours straight.

Hoseok let himself fall backward, right on top of Yoongi, his hands reaching for the ceiling. Yoongi huffed, but didn’t push him away. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his waist, feeling Hoseok’s laugh through his all body.

“You are comfortable hyung” Hoseok said, trying to look at Yoongi. All he could see was a small part of his face, in the shadow of his own head.

“I am not your cuddly toy, Hoseok.”

“Maybe you should be.” Yoongi huffed again, tightening his grip around Hoseok’s waist.

“I love you hyung” the younger one said, his head against Yoongi’s chest who was laughing lightly.

“I love you too.” Yoongi said in Hoseok’s hair, not sure that he could hear him.

*

“I want to see you hyung.”

Even through the phone, Yoongi could picture Hoseok pouting.

“Not today.” He said, rereading the same sentence for the fourth time. “I have this essay to finish and my part-time job to be at in two hours.”

“You said the same thing last time.”

“And it was the truth last time as well.”

Hoseok sighed, but Yoongi did not pay attention to it. This essay was killing him. He couldn’t feel his butt anymore and his eyes hurt so bad that his concentration level had considerably decreased over the last hour.

Hoseok sighed again as Yoongi switched hand to hold his phone.

“Can I see you next week then?” Yoongi took a minute to answer.

“I don’t think so.” He finally said, glancing at his planning. “I have two presentations next week… okay, yeah, maybe on Friday.”

“You know I have my dance club on Friday.”

“Yeah sorry. That’s my only free day.” Yoongi said absently. “Maybe the week after?”

“Maybe the week after.” Hoseok repeated. Yoongi didn’t hear the bitterness in his voice.

“Hope, let’s talk at another time, okay? I really have to…”

“…finish your essay. I know. I’ll call you back later.”

“Yeah, cool, later. Bye.”

Yoongi hung up without saying anything else.

*

They were celebrating Yoongi’s graduation in a bar Namjoon’s recommended, “because it has the best music”. No one had argued and Namjoon was right, the music was good, the ambiance great and alcohol was cheap.

“To Yoongi’s graduation!” He yelled for everyone – Hoseok, Yoongi and Taehyung – to hear him.

“To Yoongi!” Hoseok and Taehyung yelled back, raising their glasses. Yoongi does it as well, before emptying it in one go. He watched Hoseok do the same next to him, fascinated by his Adam’s apple, going up and down. When he lowered his glass, he was smiling and Yoongi smiled back, reaching for his hand.

“Hyung, you’re lucky” Namjoon said after what was his fifth glass. “you are graduated but I still have months to go…”

Namjoon yelped when Hoseok elbowed him in the ribs.

“You should not be the one complaining” he said with a mocking smile “Tae’ has way more months than you in front of him”. Namjoon didn’t say anything, just sighing and Yoongi couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“You’ll be graduated soon enough”, he comforted him and Namjoon only nodded.

There were a few minutes of silence, during which Yoongi ran his thumb on Hoseok’s knuckles, before Taehyung asked “What are you going to do now, hyung?”

Yoongi’s thumb immediately froze and Hoseok looked up.

“He is leaving us” Namjoon slurred. “Now that he is graduated, he doesn’t need to stay here.”

Hoseok wondered how many drinks he had had.

“I think your brother had drunk to much” he said to Taehyung who turned to look at him, forgetting his question.

“I’m fine” Namjoon said, a hand on his eyes. “Just a bit dizzy.”

“Stop drinking then” Hoseok told him and Namjoon only nodded.

“Maybe you should drink some water. And you need fresh air.” Taehyung said to his brother, trying to get him up. Namjoon didn’t argue, slowly standing up, unsure on his legs. As they were heading outside, Hoseok could still hear Taehyung nagging at his brother and Namjoon asking him to shut up.

“I though Namjoon could drink.” Hoseok said, playing with his glass. Yoongi only hummed, his voice a bit deeper than usual and the younger wondered if he, too, was drunk.

They stay silent for a long time, waiting for Taehyung and Namjoon to come back. The music was loud, but not deafening, and Hoseok could still hear his heart beating too fast and too strong. His fingers were clenched on his glass, and he found it hard to breath normally. Something felt wrong, but he couldn’t tell what it was.

Yoongi was carefully watching him. He could see Hoseok’s jaw tightening, his eyes unmoving and his back bent. Everything was blurry in the bar, except for Hoseok.

“Hoseok” he said, but the younger one didn’t move. Yoongi was weirdly on edge and didn’t know what to do. He felt tired suddenly and just wanted to get some fresh air too. But it was weirder for him to think to just leave Hoseok alone there.

“Hope” he called and he extended his hand to draw circles in his back. Hoseok looked smaller than he really was and when he looked at Yoongi, the elder couldn’t just look back at him. There was something in Hoseok’s eyes that scared him. Before he could stop himself, he had Hoseok against him, his arm around his waist. It looked like he wanted to comfort him and Yoongi was close to think that it was what he actually was doing. But Hoseok was not crying, nor sobbing nor even moving. He just laid against Yoongi’s chest, almost not breathing, only listening to his heartbeat.

“Are you really leaving?” he asked. Yoongi had hoped he hadn’t. But Namjoon’s mouth was too big and, well, Hoseok had heard him, it was just a matter of time before he asked if it was true. And it was. Yoongi was leaving in less than a week for Seoul, without telling anyone except in parents and Namjoon. He was not so sure why he hadn’t said anything to Hoseok. He had never thought of leaving without telling him, but the opportunity to do so had never came. Or maybe he had never taken it.

“Yeah” he said, watching as Hoseok distanced himself from him. The younger kept avoiding his eyes and the bar was too dark for Yoongi to see his face.

“I think I’ve drunk to much” Hoseok said in a breath. From the corner of his eye, he could see Yoongi reaching for him, but he stood up before he could.

“I’ll take you home” Yoongi said, grabbing his coat.

“It’s fine, I can walk.”

“You are not going home alone.”

Hoseok looked up at Yoongi, who had already left the booth to find Taehyung and Namjoon. He could only see his silhouette, the shape of his back and of his shoulders. His head hurt.

“Come on.” Yoongi said as he stepped close to Hoseok again.

“What about Taehyung and Namjoon?”

“They are going home on their own.” Hoseok was too tired to ask how and Yoongi didn’t tell him. He could feel Yoongi’s hand in the small of his back until they reach his car. He closed his eyes the entire ride.

Next to him, he could hear Yoongi moving, breathing, just being here with him. His chest tightened when he thought that it might be the last time.

“We’re there.” Yoongi said after what felt like only a few seconds for Hoseok. He didn’t open his eyes, asked for a few more seconds. He needed them. He needed to be with Yoongi a bit longer. Just a bit longer before he disappeared.

“Just a minute” he said and Yoongi agreed as he took his hand in his. Hoseok felt cold and sad and his head still hurt.

“Hope,” he heard Yoongi said “Let’s go inside. You should not sleep here.”

“Okay.”

Yoongi got out of the car, and the next minute, he was on Hoseok’s side, opening the door for him. Hoseok followed him inside his own apartment. They did not turn any light on, because the moon was bright enough to illuminate the all place. Jimin was nowhere to be found. Maybe outside, or already asleep in his own room.

Yoongi leaded Hoseok to his bedroom and sat next to him on his bed.

“I should go.” Yoongi said even though he was not moving. Hoseok was looking at him, but never in his eyes, and Yoongi let him do.

It was Hoseok who kissed Yoongi. It was sweet, just lips against lips, and so much calmer than what they really felt like. Hoseok couldn’t think straight anymore, because Yoongi was so close to him that he could feel his warmth stuck to his own skin. He wanted to touch him, to feel the shape of his body under his fingers. Even so, he kept his fists clenched on his knees. Yoongi however couldn’t keep his hands to himself and moved to touch him, cupping his cheeks, caressing them with tenderness. Hoseok shivered as he tried to control his breath.

“My precious Hope” Yoongi said when they pull away. Hoseok was smiling at Yoongi and he loved it so much he could just smile back, his hands on Hoseok’s nape, slipping on his shoulders, his arms, to his hands. He kissed his knuckles, his palms and then moved to his neck. Hoseok let him kisses his skin where he left light marks. When Yoongi finally kissed his lips, Hoseok took him into his embrace and against his heart. Yoongi deepened the kiss until Hoseok was pliant under him. He was lying on his bed just for Yoongi to touch and kiss him.

Yoongi moved away to look at him, at his bruised lips and at his half-lidded eyes.

“You’re beautiful Hope” he said, his hands on each side of his face “So beautiful.”

“Hyung…”

Hoseok reached to cup Yoongi’s cheek with one hand, the elder putting his own on his. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Yoongi stood up.

“It’s late, I should go now.” He said as Hoseok’s eyes followed him.

“Can I call you tomorrow morning?”

“Of course. Whenever you want.”

When Yoongi left a few days later, Hoseok hadn’t call him even once.