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“Tears are words the heart can't express" - Gerard Way
These tears streaming down my face mean "I Love You, never leave." Unfortunatly that can't happen. His brown eyes sparkled up at me with the same glint they used to. He smiles and he reminds me of all the precious memorys we had together.
I met him 3 years ago at a graveyard just walking distance from my house. I had my ipod on full blast and I didn't hear his soft voice ask me for the time. I jumped out of my skin when I felt his tender touch on my shoulder. I turned around and I saw the same beautiful brown eyes I see right before me now.
Of course on conversation led from me telling him the time, to talking about favourite things to then exchanging numbers. Obviously it was just harmless flirting, but things led to another and we had been seeing each other for 3 years.
We kept things quite for the first period of the relationship. Of course my parents and brother had no idea I was gay; well maybe Mikey did. I didn't want them to think I was just changing my mind all of a sudden, I had to ease them into it.
It took awhile for me to come out, but my parents were very accepting of it. Mikey thought it was hilarious at first but then he went back to his usual routine of never smiling and taking the piss out of me.
"I love you ,Gerard." He whispers to me as he takes his final breaths in my arms. Tears roll down my face and I sob uncontrolably as I realise what had just happened. The ambulance arrives around the corner and I pull away from him, I didn't know what to do, I was shaking too much. My head was numb. The ambulance takes him away without any hesitation, I gave a quick phone call to his parents to explain what happened. Crime in Belleville was exeptional, I just never expected it to happen to him. He has been stabbed outside my hause leaving and it broke my heart to know that he was gone for good, that someone had taken him away. I knew it sounded stupid, but I loved that motherfucker with all my heart and he was gone within a matter of seconds. We had an arguement that day, and split up. I was heartbroken. I opened the door and let him out with tears running down my face, he walked a few houses down and I was about to shut the door, but I heared a peircing scream. I looked back to see a hooded figure running away and Mark collapsing on the floor. I ran over to him and my heart sank.
Chapter 1
Franks POV.
"You'll never be fucking normal, because no one is fucking normal." - Frank Iero
A phone call from Mikey was the first thing I got when I woke up. He needed me to come over and just cheer him up. Ever since Mark died, Gerard hasn't left his room and Mikey is feeling really bad. It's been 2 months, and Gerard left his room once. As soon as he did, he went back in. As if he forgot he was greiving. Mikey spends most of his days in the basement with Gerard. It seems like Gerard doesn't mind the company, but doesn't really like it either. He probably hasn't realised Mikey is even there.
I walk over to Mikeys as soon as I got dressed. I rang the doorbell and Donna answered the door.
"Hi Frank, Mikey's downstairs with Gerard go downstairs, it'll be fine."
I nodded and headed down the large stairs towards the door.
I knocked quietly before heading in. Both Mikey and Gerard looked up from the movie they were watching , which I recognized as the original Halloween, as I walked in.
"Hi Frank." Gerard said with a croaky voice, as he had obviously been crying.
"Hi Gee." I replied.
Mikey patted the bed beside him for me to sit down. I did as was told and I took a glance of the room. The room was covered in gruesome artwork and Black Flag and Misfit posters. The room smelt pretty bad, but seen as though this had been Gerards habitat for the last 2 months I wasn't surprised. Clothes covered the majority of the floor and desktops. I settled into the movie pretty quickly and I recieved a text from Mikey (even though he was sitting beside me)
Talk to Gerard about his art or something. He's getting better but I think yo could get him out of his dumps.
I placed the phone back into my pocket and just started back at the tv for a while. I didn't want Gerard getting suspicious. His hair was black and covering most of his face. He had a small stubble covering his chin as he clearly hadn't shaved in a while. He smelt like death too. Though both way brothers smelt bad, it must be a family thing. His eyes were perfection and I'll admit he was perfection. It's a shame what happened with Mark, but these things happen.
"I like this piece of artwork above your bed. How did you create those ideas?" I ask Gerard calmly, trying not to trigger anything.
"I... Liked the detail in the pumpkins facial expressions. I thought as it was halloween this week, i'd draw it."
"It's perfect, something like that is something I'd like a tatoo of. Since my birthday is Halloween as well it would make an excellent theme."
"It's your birthday on Halloween?"
I could feel Mikey rolling his eyes in the background, I'm guessing he's told Gerard countless times but been too upset to think about it.
"Yeah! I was thinking of having a Jack O'Lantern as a tatoo anyway. You've given me some inspiration. Thank You, Gerard." I smiled at him. Trying to make the conversation seem as friendly as possible.
"No problem."
"Do you have any other artwork similar to this?" I asked.
Gerard rose from his laying posistion on the bed and clambered over towards the filthy desk, grabbing his large sketchbook from underneath everything. He sempt unsure whether to show me some of the drawings, but he seemed to have shrugged that off. He sat down on the bed with his legs crossed and the book in his lap. He started slowly flicking through the pages, and my gaze couldn't move from the pages of detailed drawing. Everytime he flicked a page over I ran my fingers over the art and looked at his face and studied his facial expressions to see whether he like the page or not. There was a few pages that had been ripped out or scibbled upon. Gerards work was truely brilliant, I couldn't see any flaw in any off his drawings. I got to the end of his sketchbook satisfied with what I had seen.
"That was brilliant Gee, you have pure talent." I told Gee still staring at the final page.
"Thank you, I draw as much as I can. It makes me happy."
"Good. Do anything that makes you happy. I especially liked the vampires you draw."
Gerard just smiled and headed to the desk to put the sketches away. I could tell in an instant that was one of the first times Gerard had smiled since the incident. It felt a privalige and I was glad to help on that journey to happiness. The way he continued smiling after that made me think about how much I must have made his day. Just by complimenting his works. Words can change someones emotion so quickly, it's unbelievable.
Chapter 2.
Gerard's POV.
"The world is less violent when people are using hula-hoops.” - Mikey Way
I know it sounds stupid but that little motherfucker Mikey calls a friend made me smile for the first time in ages. I never thought I'd smile again, but he really knew how to cheer me up, even if Mikey put him up to it.
Frank left a couple hours later, and Mikey had to go out on a date with some chick called Alicia. It's kinda lonley down here on my own. I only have so much to do in my room and I'm not in the mood for half of those things. It's been a while so I might as well head upstairs for a while, I know my parents probably think i rotted down there.
I needed coffee seen as though the only time I get it is when Mikey is kind enough to bring down a cup. I've been craving coffee all day, and even a bit of human interaction with my parents. It's sound stupid coming from Gerard Way but it was true. I'd had enough of staying in my own pisshole I needed to get out and live life.
I opened my bedroom door and it creaked slowly, letting alot of light that blinded me and the smell of cooking lasange. I loved my mothers lasange, it was like a heavens dish. She cooked it a lot more frequently as if to lure me out of my home, but Mikey always gave me a cold portion, so it wasn't the same as being at the table. After my eyes had adjusted to the light I gradually climbed up from my slumber, like a vampire that had been awoken after 500 years. My mothers eyes widened when she saw me in the living room. She ran over to me and hugged me tightly that I think a few of my ribs had cracked. Her blue eyes stared at me and her face was wide with a huge smile. She kissed my forehead before asking me a question.
"Where have you been Gerard?" She says laughing, he smile still imprinted on her face.
I smile shortly back, "Sleeping with the dead." I replied smugly before shrugging it off and sitting down on the sofa. I placed my head on the arm, feeling the leather upon my face as if it was a material I'd never felt. I certainly missed this room, it was the centre of the family, the room that connected the entire house. It was my area that I loved to be in, to greet Mikey when he walks through the door with Frank. To talk to my mother while she cooks the dinner. To make light chat with my dad as he reads the morning newspaper. I missed the old times, I never realised how much I was in the dark until now.
Mikey came home well after dinner was finnished. My parents made small talk with me, but I was glad they didn't ask me too many questions. I think they realised that would have over whelmed me. When Mikey was home, he gave me a cuddle and we settled down to watch re runs of classic cartoons. We were both snuggled up under a blanket eating crisps and drinking beer. Mikey had to go back to school in the morning, but that didn't stop the little fucker drinking as much as he can. He just pushed his glasses up and drank fuck loads of vodka. Maybe not as much as me but that's okay, I finished college last year. I have nothing to do now. Mikey had been held back a year because he "forgot" to turn up to over half of his test. Mikey was glad as fuck though, because that meant that he could keep Frank company throughout his senoir year. Frank and Mikey had been best friends for over 5 years now, they had met each other in middle school, and when Frank arrived in High School, he had a friend and were inseperable ever since. Mikey and Frank were as close as me and Mikey was. Very close. Like brother, only difference between me and Frank is, I'm actually related to Mikey, unfortunatly. We sat there drunk for well over 2 hours in almost complete silence until Mikey decides to speak up.
"I think you should give Frank that drawing of the pumpkin so he can get it tatooed." Mikey said randomly.
"Sure, if he want's it. Like a birthday present?"
"Yeah, that's a great idea. I'm sure Frank would love that, he seemed pretty happy about it."
" Okay sure thing. I'll give it to him around his birthday."
"He's coming round for his birthday, seen as it's his 18th and his parents are out of town, Mum and Dad are making him dinner and then we're off clubbing."
I just smiled, glad that Mikey was doing something nice for Franks birthday. It sounded really nice.
"You should come with." Mikey continued.
I shook my head and looked down at my feet. I wasn't ready to go out just yet.
"Okay then, I understand. I just thought it'd be nice."
I shook my head again and Mikey dropped the chat and continued watching the cartoons.
Chapter 3
Franks POV
“I’m deathly, deathly afraid of spiders, ‘cause they’ve got those little eyes." - Mikey Way.
Today is my birthday. I love halloween, it's a great celebration and I love having to dress up. It's my favourite holiday, if it's even considered a holiday.
I got up bright an early to get dressed and I headed over to the Ways.
I knocked on the door and to my suprise Gerard opend the door, he invited me in and I smiled at him. I walked into the living room to see a couple of people, I and Gee/Mikey knew: Bob Bryar, Pete Wentz, Ray Toro and Mikey Way ofcourse. And then Donna and Don. Gerard followed behind me and sat at the seat at the side of the room. I squished myself in between Bob and Ray on the brown leather sofa.
"So boys what do we have planned tonight!?" Donna exclaimed from the kitchen.
"Partying at the club down the street and getting drunk, Mrs Way." Pete replied confidently. Pete had eyeliner around his eyes and ripped jeans on, as if trying to pull any male he can get his eyes on.
"Sounds lovely, but no drinking for Mikes. He's a weakling." Don laughs from the other room. Everybody burst into laughter at the comment that was made.
Everybody started handing out presents to Frank. Pete had bought him a fucking Dildo and girls thongs. I was not amused. Ray bought me a new guitar tab book, Bob bought me drums sticks that I'm probably not going to use. Mikey bought me a book about tatoos and where to get them from. Now time for Gerard. I didn't expect him to get me anything, but he gave me a few of his sketches including the Jack o' latern.
"My present goes with Mikeys, I know you was saying you wanted a tatoo so I drew you some."
I just smiled and Gerard and I got up to give him a hug. This was definatly the best day ever, and the best birthday present. I could help but smile.
We had dinner and before we knew it, we was on our way to the club. In the club was some band i'd never heard of. They were pretty good so I headed down to the mosh pit after having a couple of drinks before hand. I lost myself in the pit and I was having so much fun. The set finally ended and I staggered my way back to the murky bar. I arrived and ordered more shots. The alcohol burning my throat. My head was swimming with thoughts and alcohol and I found it difficult to walk straight. I found Mikey among the bar and he told me he was going to take me home. It was easier for him however to take me to his house, so thats exactly what he did. I walked straight to the coach and collapsed no for one second realising that Gerard was beneath me. I curled up into his warm side, and placed my hands around his waist and driffted of to sleep.
Chapter 4
Gerard's POV
"Cause you only live forever in the lights you make.When we were young we used to say .That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break" - Gerard Way.
I remember in the middle of the night, Frank falling on me laying on the sofa. He made it so I couldn't move and he fell asleep on me with his arm around me. It felt so unusual when it wasn't Mark. I wasn't rejecting it though, it was comforting and he was warm and cuddly. So I held him back and fell asleep too.
I woke up to Frank slightly moving, stirring in his sleep. He looked restless and uncofortable, but I couldn't move so he had to stay that way. My arm had gone dead from where Frank had laid on it all night. When Frank finally woke up he was clutching his head and moaning about how his life sucks. I just held him for comfort and told him I'd go get some asprin and water. He sat up and put his head in his hands, before finally dashing off to the bathroom to be sick. When Frank came back I handed over the the pills and the drink and Frank drank the drink as quick as humanly possible.
"Sorry for sleeping on you." Frank apologized.
I looked down, feeling slightly guilty that I didn't exactly mind.
"It's fine, Frank. Don't worry about it. How was your night last night anyway?" I replied.
"Good, abit rough in the mosh-pit but it was okay. How about yours?"
"Same as usual."
We both just stared at each other without enitrely realizing it. I stared at his beautiful eyes, lost in the memorys they hold. He had the most beautiful facial features and his hair topped it all off. He looked perfect in every light. Even now when he was hungover and ill he looked perfect. I shook off all thoughts about him because this was wrong. I shouldn't be think this about a young boy, especially when your boyfriend recently died. Things just weren't right, so I headed of down to my hole and I drew Frank. I drew him as well as I could, adding every detail into his eyes and adding his lip and nose rings.
3 weeks later.
Frank seems to be spending every possible day he can at the house. It's sort of frustrating knowing that I may have feelings for someone, even though my heart still belongs to Mark. My feelings have only gotten worse since that day. I can't stop staring at his lucious lips. I want to feel them against my own, feel how sof they feel, how they taste. I can imagine just what he would taste like. I can feel his skin burning against my own, I want him with me all the time. It just feels so god damn wrong.
Mikey wasn't in but Frank still arrived at the door one day.
"Mikey's not in at the moment Frank. Sorry." I tell him as politely as I can.
"I know, I came to hang out with you." He smiles.
Fuck is the only word I can think of at this moment. This could be either bad or good, I don't even know at this moment in time.
"Okay then. Come in." I tell him, gesturing him to come inside.
We both headed down to my room, and I continued with what I was doing. Frank stands over me staring at the piece of art work I was working on.
"Is.... That.. Me?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
I turned round to face him, I didn't know what to reply to that.
I stared at him, before leaning in and pulling him closer, our lips colliding in the center, wet and sloppy. His eyes widened before slowly sinking down into the kiss. It was sort of desprete, hands were flying everywhere, uncontrolable. I broke off the kiss and stared upon my knees, ashamed of what I had done. What this would mean now.
"I'm sorry Frank, I didn't mean for that to happen." I tried apologizing.
"I got that tatoo that you drew Gerard." Frank replied.}
My eyebrows raised and I relax a little, knowing that Frank wasn't too bothered about the kiss. Frank lifted his top to reveal a large Jack O'lantern tattoo on his back. I traced the dark lines with my fingertips, trying to be as careful as possible with his skin. I had to tell my mouth not to touch it, as I didn't feel it was right. Though the drawing looked just like the one I drew. It was exactly the same and I felt happy that Frank chose my art to have on his back. My work was permantly engraved into anothers skin and that made me feel really good.
Chapter 5
Frank's POV
“Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary.” - Gerard Way.
"Mikey. I've done something really bad." I told Mikey in confidence.
"Oh god, you've got someone pregnant." Mikey replied.
"No. I kind of kissed your brother."
Mikeys eyes went wide. "WHAT!"
"Well actually he kissed me, and i just carried it on."
"I don't understand how... Do you like him?"
I looked down at my feet unsure of what to answer. Of course I liked him, but I didn't acutually think he was going to kiss me.
"I think..." I replied slowly, curling my head into Mikeys chest.
"Well.... I don't even know what to say. Just be careful not to hurt him."
I nodded and I settled back into the movie that we was casually watching.
"Mikey... I need to talk to you." I heard Gerard's voice crack in the background. He sounded like he had been crying, obviously I felt guitly about that. I tried to shrug off the thought but I couldn't help but think that it was my fault. I sighed deeply as Mikey got up and wadled of towards Gee's room. I was left alone in the living room feeling like a complete tosspot. I played with my fingers, cleary nervous till Mikey arrives back into the room. Happy as he was before. He carried on like nothing happened.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Nothing. He just needed to talk." Mikey replied casualy, drinking his coke.
"Nothing? Okay then." I let my body relax.
Everytime after the incident I went over to the Ways Gee ignored me. As if I was invisible or just not there. I tried my hardest to apologize for what happened but everytime I tried he wasn't there. I felt entirely guilty for something I didn't do. It took me well over 4 weeks to even see him again, and by that point I thought there was no more point in trying. I liked Gerard but I didn't want to push him into anything, and he clearly didn't like me back. It was an accident. Mikey wasn't about as much, he was spending time with his new girlfriend, so I had no reason for visiting the Ways. I just needed to see Gerard.
I walked up to the house roughly when Mikey had left for his 3000th date. I hesitated before actually knocking but I did it eventually. Gerard answered.
"What do you want Frankie?" He said rolling his eyes at the sight of me.
I could just tell he didn't want to see me and was angry. He looked so hot when he was angry, my thought were rushing about and before I knew it my lips collided with his. Gerard took a step back and his eyes widened but he didn't hesitate to kiss back. He wrapped his around my waist and pulled me closer. His lips were soft against mine and was very delicate. I lifted a hand to grab his cheek and deepen the kiss. I pushed my tounge against his lips asking for permission to gain entry. Gerard waited a few seconds before opening his mouth and we slid tounges together. We stayed in this position before finally breaking apart. I held my head against Gerards chest, Gerard just kept his arms around me in a tight embrace.
"I wanted to apologize and find out why you've been completly ignoring me." I say into his heartbeat.
"I'm sorry Frankie, I just... Was confused."
I will be there for him, for ever.
I nodded and I held him tight, never wanting to let go. It was a unique experience, I wasn't going to lie, but I wasn't going to let go of him.... Ever. I will be there for him, for ever.