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What was supposed to be a fun movie might, the mood has turned sour.
“No. Obviously you two need to talk. I’ll leave. You can text me later.”
"Hyeyeon, I'm sorry!" Sejeong calls after her, but Hyeyeon has already grabbed her jacket and is out the door before they can stop her. And they’re alone. For the first time since it ended, they’re alone. Nayoung can’t look her in the eye.
“I should go too. I knew something like this would happen, I never should've come.” She turns to leave.
“Wait!”
“What? Just say it then. We haven’t talked about it for a whole year and I was perfectly fine with keeping it that way, but if you have something to say just spit it out. So I can leave.”
“I’m sorry.” Nayoung sees the tears watering in Sejeong’s eyes and ignores the way her heart twinges. “That’s it?”
“I know I shouldn’t have done that to you. I know I was wrong.” Sejeong is shaking, a tear rolls down her cheek but Nayoung still stands there. Sejeong is quiet, looking at the ground. Nayoung tries to convince her feet to walk away but they don’t listen.
“I loved you.” Sejeong sniffs as a tear rolls of her nose.
“You loved me?” Nayoung says, her voice cynical. “You loved me? I loved you and you left me, you don’t get to say that. You don’t get to be all sad and tearful when you decided all of this. You can’t put this on me.”
“ I was scared.”
“Of what? Being gay?”
“No!” Sejeong exclaims. “I mean, maybe, a little bit.” She wipes her eyes on her sleeve. “I was different. With you I was different and you were different and we were changing each other and I didn’t know if I would like who I was becoming. I was scared of losing who I used to be.” Sejeong meets Nayoung’s eyes and she hates it. “I got lost in you, Nayoung. So lost it scared me. I loved you, I really did.”
There’s a heavy pause between them.
“You broke my heart, you know that?” Sejeong looks at the ground and nods.
“You can stand here and talk about how hard is was for you but that doesn’t change that you did it. You ruined this and you’re not allowed to be sad about it now.”
Nayoung turns sharply and is halfway to the door when she hears a “Nayoung, wait.” Sejeong’s voice cracks.
“I’m sorry.”
Nayoung turns back around. Sejeong’s looking at the ground, her hands clasped together. She’s shaking, just like she always does when she cries. Nayoung hates seeing her cry.
“Here.” She reaches over to the table and grabs paper towels from the kitchen counter. “Wipe your face off. Pull yourself together. I’m gonna go now.”
“I miss you.” Nayoung hates that it makes her stop dead in her tracks. She looks back, at soft little Sejeong with her eyelashes clumped together from crying, her eyes practically sparkling; her lips. Nayoung hates what bubbles up in her chest. She drops her purse to the ground.
It’s two large strides back to Sejeong, cupping her face and kissing her hard. Sejeong presses forward into the kiss, grabbing onto Nayoung’s shirt to keep her from running away. Sejeong’s lips tastes like tears and memories, and Nayoung starts crying too.
“I hate you.” Sejeong kisses her cheek, her neck. “I hate you so much.”
“I love you.” Sejeong whimpers, tears still stuck in her throat. “I still love you. I wish I didnt but I still do I” Her hands have reached up run through Nayoung’s hair, guiding their mouths back together. Nayoung’s arms wrap around Sejeong’s waist, pulling her closer, up on the tips of her toes. “I miss you.” Sejeong murmurs against her lips.
“I hate you, I still hate you I hate-” Nayoung hates crying but she can’t stop. She can’t stop kissing Sejeong, either. She hates that she never wants to stop.
They kiss. They kiss until their breath is ragged and Sejeong’s tugging on the edge of Nayoung’s shirt.
“I should go.” Nayoung says.
“Stay.”