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Flames billowed into the sky, a stark contrast to the near black background of the stars. The heavy smell of smoke filled the air, a thick suffocating smog that made it difficult to breathe even from the balcony in the distance. The sound of screams echoed across the capital palace as guards hurried to the building the royal family was trapped in.
It had been three months since the fire. Three long months. The line of succession had changed, the throne passing from Ren Hakutoku’s family line to his younger brother Koutoku’s. The priests flocked around the new emperor almost as if they had been loyal to him the entire time. The only good news to come out of this tragedy was that the youngest prince, Hakuryuu, had managed to escape. Granted, he was covered in scars and burn wounds, still recovering even so long after the fire.
Rumors mentioned that it was a coup. That all of this had been pre-planned.
The nightmares were still vivid in the young man’s head as he laid awake at night, staring up at the ceiling, not even the soft cooing of pigeons a comfort.The pain had become dull, like a knife embedded in his heart. The memories of that last day played over and over in the young prince's mind like a nightmare that couldn't be shaken.
Tears bellowed up in his eyes, his hands clenching into fists. He was so stupid. Stupid prince. Why did he treat him like a child? All with that idiotic grin of his!
Now the redhead realized that he was the stupid one. Tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes and he harshly wiped them away with his sleeve.
Maybe if he had just stayed, maybe it wouldn't have ended up the way it did. Maybe Hakuren would still be alive if he hadn't stepped out of that door. Those were the thoughts that ate away at his heart, the regrets that spiraled him into depression. Most likely it wouldn't have made a difference. Most likely he'd have ended up dead as well.
But what if that weren't the case? What if his presence would have made some kind of difference? If it were a coup, maybe they would have postponed it if they knew he were in there too. After all he was Koutoku, the new emperor's, second son. That had to count for something, right?
No. Sometimes he wondered if father even realized his children were there.
Sleep refused to come to Koumei like many nights recently. With a heavy-hearted sigh, he slipped out of bed, his feet landing on cold stone. Pulling a robe around him to combat the chilly air, the young prince moved to his bedroom door quietly. It was about time he paid a visit to a certain place. He'd have to avoid the guards if any were around, he didn't want them to stop him or to answer any questions.
Anger welled up in him, and yet Hakuren still wore his smile, his head tilting to the side in worry.
"Koumei? What's wrong?" The voice was soft, gentle, caring. Nothing that should have proceeded to make him even angrier. Except it did. What was wrong?
His bare feet padded down the the halls as he headed towards one of the side entrances. He hid around the corners when a guard or servant passed until he made it outside. There was a light rain, but nothing that would deter him. He walked over rocks and mud as he clutched his robe closer, his frail body shivering every time a gust of wind blew his way.
After a few minutes he found his way to the graveyard. The princes had marvelous tombs, right next to their father's. And yet, they didn't seem enough. Everyone in Rakushou, no, everyone in the world knew that there weren't any bodies in the tombs, that they were just memorials to honor them. He remembered the look on his father's face, the look of disconcern as the priest spoke the eulogy.
He made his way to Hakuren's tomb and ran his hand over the marble surface. This had been the first time he visited the grave since the funeral. It was hard, imagining that he was no longer a part of this world, a part of his life. After a while, he finally forced out a choked whisper, "I'm sorry."
"You're so stupid, Ren!" He shouted, glaring at him with tear stained eyes. The other male blinked in confusion, but Koumei wasn't falling for it, he knew what he did. The play stupid act wouldn't work on him.
"Mei?" This time it was less cheery, more concerned. "If I upset you, I'm sor-"
"Shut up!" He regretted it the second it came out of his mouth, but he couldn't stop the words from spilling forth. "You're always like this! I... I... I hate you!"
He turned on his heel and quickly ran out of the room before Hakuren could do anything. He ignored the shouting of his name. He wanted to turn around, run back and apologize right now. But his stupid stubborn pride made that impossible. Tomorrow. He'd go an apologize tomorrow.
There'd be no tomorrow.
"It was a lie..." He whispered, "I don't... I never hated you... I'm sorry..." Finally the tears overcame him and he started to sob, falling to his knees in front of the grave. "Come back! Come back please! I miss you...!"
He didn't deserve to be here. Ren probably hated him after what he had said... No, Ren would never hate him. And that just made it all the more painful. He wished Ren hated him, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Quietly he curled up on the ground, in front of the grave, pulling his knees to his chest. Maybe he would just sleep here... And hopefully never wake up.