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“I thought you loved me?” the whispered words echoed through their small bedroom. The door was closed the drapes were drawn and the only light seeped from the far right corner of Viktor’s small desk lamp. Tears were already falling down Yuuri’s face, fat drops start to mingle under his chin as he all but given up on wiping his tears, like he knew they would never stop falling. That thought alone scared Viktor to his core and he was afraid of much, and even then most of them involved Yuuri in some way. But he had to stay strong, he had to move forward without yuuri this time and the thought was slowly killing him on the inside. Of course he loved him, Yuuri was his everything, but he could risk the worst scenario of Yuuri dead in on a street corner or worst in front of him.
“I did” he choked back his own tears, the words were like venom on his tongue. And Yuuri's tears fell faster and his eyes started to become unfocused and his breathe was shorting, his grip on Viktor shirt was becoming tighter, and the man was starting in think Yuuri would rip it off him without a second thought. “I still do,Yuuri” he tried to reason because his own tears were starting to well up and Viktor would much rather kill himself than part with Yuuri, his everything. The hiccups subsided for a second and Yuuri face was less sad and more angry.
“Then why?!” he yelled. His tears were dripping onto his glasses and snot was dripping from his nose and his skin turned a hot pink. He was a wreck and it was Viktor’s fault. His whole life felt backwards as he tried to keep his tears back but was failing because he tried to keep that face off Yuuri’s face at all cost and now it was the only way to save him.
“Why?” Yuuri asked again voice softer. “Why?” he repeated as he buried his face into Viktor’s now stretched shirt tossing his head side to side. Viktor could feel the tears and the snot seeping through the fabric as Yuuri shook with quiet sobs that Viktor could feel in his bones. His resolve broke as he circled his arms around his boyfriend and cried silent apologies into his neck over and over for what felt like forever as Yuuri grasped his shirt tighter and cried even harder.
“I’m sorry Yuuri, but I’d rather have you sent away safe than to keep you here dead.”
“It’s not fair” he whispered. And Viktor knows God Viktor knows better than anyone that this wasn’t fair.
“I know but, Yuuri,” he said cradling his lover like he would break him if he held him any tighter, “living here might not have been the best idea, and I can’t leave. Not now. I’m sorry” Yuuri just shook his head, stubbornly. “Yuuri!” Viktor yelled he wanted it to sound like he was angry and fed up to scare him into taking this seriously, but it was more disparate, falling on deaf ears from his sore throat. He felt as if he would start crying all over again.
“NO!” Yuuri yelled louder, his head that was buried into the side of his neck was faced toward the taller man was straight out glaring at him. His eyes red and a bit puffy making his eyes look smaller and his cheeks look fatter as he growled his next words, “No Viktor i can’t let you stay here when you could very much die the second i leave this country.”
Yuuri cupped Viktor’s face in the palm of his hands like he’s done many times before. “I wouldn’t know what i’d do if you died either.” I was too much the words coming out of his mouth, his eyes were too intense looking at him with all the determination and passion that he had on the ice. He wanted kiss him and their worries away, but it can never be that simple.
“I can’t leave, it’ll look too suspicious, if I try they’ll find me before we even hit the border-”
“Then I’ll stay” he prompted by putting Viktor’s forehead to his, as if it was just that simple. As if the situation of their relationship was that simple. “I love you, Viktor. No law can change that or make me leave you.” his statement was said with a sad smile.
“I love you Yuuri.” Viktor sighed, chest tight as he kissed Yuuri’s lips. Things are always better when they were together anyway.