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> You notice it immediately, how right it feels having Shinjiro in the group—like a piece you never knew was missing has finally fallen into place.
> He falls into step behind you, with Akihiko right beside him.
> Naturally.
> The part of Akihiko that was always distant is flush to the surface now—you can see it warm against his skin when he’s with Shinjiro.
>Laughing with Shinjiro, arguing with Shinjiro, fighting alongside Shinjiro.
>There’s a smile where there used to be a smirk. A warmth. A brightness.
> You smile too.
> There’s a thrill to Akihiko’s fighting that carries you along with it. It shouldn’t be fun, you know that. Nothing about Tartarus or fighting shadows has any business being fun.
>It’s the adrenaline, the eerie chill of the night setting your whole body alight with shivers.
>Akihiko pulls off moves with excessive flair when he knows Shinjiro is looking, throwing in an occasional cocky grin for good measure.
> Shinjiro loves to show off too, though he’s not flashy about it the way Akihiko is. The guy’s built like a tank, all squared shoulders and brute force. He flashes you a smile after he beats down a shadow, making it looks casual and effortless.
>Your heart jumps right up into your throat.
>Yeah, you realize, this is fun.
> Nothing has ever been this fun before.
> Being healed by Akihiko feels kind of like biting down on a live wire. The first time you felt it, you thought he’d used zio on you by accident, but you’re used to it now. It’s a little bit like being charged—reenergized to get up and keep fighting.
>Shinjiro isn’t one for healing abilities, but he looks after you in his own way. He’d rather take a hit himself than let you go down—and not just to show off. You think if you let him, he’d fight all the battles himself while you sat back and watched. You won’t let him, of course.
> Shinjiro seems tired.
> You suggest stopping to take a breather before heading to the next floor. Shinjiro huffs a quiet compliant, but sits down at the bottom of the stairs with you nonetheless.
>You share some bread from the cafeteria with him. His expression softens, like he might actually smile, but he doesn’t. He thanks you so quietly, you think you might have imagined it.
> Shinjiro praises you during battle and it feels like a gift.
>You nod in acknowledgement, smiling just the slightest bit, and it doesn’t matter that he’s turned away before he can see it.
>You want to hear it again and it’s all you can think about.
> The Dark Hour has a way of making everything feel cold and deathly still, but the two of them have a sort of vibrancy that sets it off. Two flashes of red against the deep green haze of the night.
>You start to run through the corridors of Tartarus without realizing, and they run alongside you like nothing is more natural. You feel electric, too hot and too fast for your body to keep up, with nothing to do but run faster and fight harder.
>The two exchange a wordless glance, laughing through their labored breathing, racing without an end in sight.
> Lately, it doesn’t feel right training in Tartarus without both Shinjiro and Akihiko by your side. You spend even more time training than usual just to be with them more, and every moment of it feels precious somehow.
> You might be a little bit in love with both of them.
>Or maybe whatever is going on between them is just contagious.
>You’re not sure it matters.
> You smile inwardly when they call each other by name.
> Shinji.
> Aki.
> Your heart aches when you think about sharing in that fondness.
> It makes them seem impossibly far away.
> Shinjiro-sempai.
> Akihiko-sempai.
> It’s Akihiko’s birthday. You talk, wondering if he’ll mention anything about it.
> As usual, all he wants to talk about is fighting.
> You take him to train in Tartarus and give him him some new equipment, because those are the only ways you know how to make him happy.
> Shinjiro looks especially pleased when you give him a bus stop sign to fight with.
>It looks good, too, the way he has it casually slung over his shoulder.
>Shinjiro spends a lot of time by himself. You notice the way he isolates himself in the common room. You notice the way he sits with his legs crossed, foot tapping impatiently.
> You notice too, the way his eyes linger on Akihiko from across the room, brow furrowed in concern.
> Some time later, you notice how Akihiko leans in close, begging for affection that Shinjiro doesn’t know how to give.
>Your mind is filled with little things you’ve learned about them. Every piece feels like vital information.
> Shinjiro likes cute things. He likes cooking and going on walks with the dog. He worries about his dorm mates.
> Shinjiro is in pain. He’s suffering physically, but the emotional wounds are even worse.
> You think it’s really unfair for someone so kind to hurt so much.
> If you could find a way to reach out to him, maybe things would be different. Maybe he’d even smile a real smile for you.
> You put your hands in your pockets and run your thumb over the handle of the fruit knife he gave you, wishing it could bring you closer somehow.
>The mood in the common room is heavy, but calm.
>Shinjiro and Akihiko are sitting on the couch together, just sharing the quiet.
>You think about sitting down between them, resting your head on one of their shoulders, draping your legs over the other’s lap. You don’t of course.
>Akihiko looks up at you expectantly and asks if you’re going to Tartarus tonight.
>You nod.
> You do your best to lead them, even though some days it takes everything you have just to stay awake. Just to stay alive. You continue on blindly, even though there’s so much you don’t understand. Move forward. Try not to let anyone down.
> It’s all you can do.
> It never feels like enough.
> You’re feeling tired.
> You’ve spent enough time worrying for tonight.