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Jungkook missed the softness of Jimin’s skin on his lips. He loved every inch of it. He loved lingering around the touches just to let the smell of love and lust seep into their grazing bodies. Jimin had a scent that was out of this world. He smelt like the cold rainy day, somewhat tangerine-like, but sweet like cinnamon. When he made love to Jimin, Jungkook made sure they were making love. He would watch Jimin dropped his head backwards in pleasure as he fucked into him with all his strength that he could almost break him. He would hold Jimin in his embrace gently, plant kisses on his shoulders, suck into his neck with so much affection and care.
“So fucking beautiful.. You’re so ah- perfect, baby,” Jimin whimpered under him at every single word.
He sloppily held onto Jungkook's larger frame, and his walls clenched harder around Jungkook’s cock pumping in and out of him, giving them more friction. And it drove Jungkook fucking crazy. The way Jimin screamed his name. The way he pleaded “Mhm.. Ah- Jungkook.. faster,” desperately, while thrusting upwards for more. So intricately, yet so demanding.
When he knew Jimin was close, Jungkook would kiss his moans and mutter "i love yous" into his lips to no avail. And they both came while their tongues were desperately finding ways into each others’ mouths, and they kissed harder till they reached the end of their orgasms. And then they kissed more, like they had all the time in the world and just stayed like that until they both fell asleep. Not even the morning sun could pull them away from each other.
And Jungkook loved how it felt.
Jungkook missed Saturday mornings with Jimin. He was usually woken up to the smell of warm coffee dissipating from their kitchen - well technically, Jungkook’s kitchen. Jimin loved his coffee with cream (which Jungkook had teased him about often and called him weak for not being able to take his coffee black and thick like him). But it’s Jimin, soft and sweet Jimin, who could blame him? Jimin was a terrible cook, though. Jungkook had spent many days in 2 years with his lover living off bloated ramen noodles. And so he thanked the existence and innovation of take outs from time to time.
“Stop complaining! It’s still edible,” Jimin argued and pursued his lips a little. Jungkook thought pouting Jimin was the cutest. He had his arms wrapped loosely around the older’s waist, leaning on his shoulder as he watched him poured the noodles into their bowls.
“Baby, I’ve told you to watch the pot. The noodles are usually done in 2 minutes. It’s not that hard,” Jungkook muttered while his lips caressed the back of Jimin’s ears, down to his neck.
Jimin groaned at his touch, “How can I when you won’t stop groping my ass and wanting to eat my face all the damn time?” He turned to Jungkook's side and placed his arms on the younger’s shoulders.
“Well to be fair I’d rather eat you than those soggy noodles,” Jungkook smugged and leaned closer to catch Jimin’s plush lips. Jimin couldn’t stop giggling because his boyfriend was ridiculously greasy and then gave in to the kiss anyway. But Jungkook was just telling the truth. Nothing tasted better than Jimin’s lips. They were cherry like, soft and plump. Sometimes kissing Jimin felt like a pleasant bliss. Sometimes it felt a little too sinful. But it always felt right.
And then they were making out, and went the sad looking noodles into the trash bin. Sure their sex was amazing, but Jungkook could make out with his boyfriend all day. When they were not making out, they’d spend their day on the couch watching 80s classics. Or when they felt a little productive, they’d go the cinemas (which usually resulted into Jimin being on Jungkook’s lap and their hands all over each other, not giving a single fuck about what the movie was about) (yes, that was their idea of productive).
They had been living together for almost 2 years now. Jimin moved in to Jungkook’s apartment a few months after they started dating. It wasn’t planned or anything, it happened casually. Jimin always stayed over anyways. So one day Jungkook simply asked him if he wanted to live together. Jimin hesitated, he thought it might change everything, but Jungkook insisted it wouldn’t be a big deal. He figured it’d be much easier if Jimin lived with him. They could split the bills, Jungkook could send Jimin off to work in the morning, they could share clothes (“No I don’t wanna share clothes I have mine.” “Baby, think about it. Less clothes, less laundry, we save more water. It’s an environmentally friendly concept.” “You’re stupid and you stink, still no.” “You just dont wanna cause you know my clothes are too big for your short ass.” “You actually stink and your clothes are ugly.” “You did not just.. take that back!”). Despite the clothes-sharing proposal Jimin didn’t approve of initially, it wasn’t such a bad idea. In fact, they made the most of out it and Jungkook couldn't feel happier with the way things were working out.
Jungkook missed the littlest things about Jimin.
He missed the way his eyes swallowed his entire sight when he smiled, his endearingly annoying squeaky laugh, his child-like expressions. Jungkook liked the way Jimin would scrunch his nose when he felt unhappy, and how he furrowed his brows when he was focused and determined, even the way he snored lightly in his sleep. Jungkook believed Jimin was a gift sent to him, his own happiness in human form. Some days when Jungkook felt the darkest, a certain smile would always make it a little better.
"Rough day at work babe?" Jimin looked up over the couch as soon as he heard Jungkook walked in.
"Our proposal was declined and my lovely colleagues blamed me for it. Wonderful," Jungkook tossed his jacket on the coat rack and went straight to the kitchen to get something to cool himself down. He always hated working at the firm, but that was his only source of income to support himself. And maybe soon to support Jimin too.
Jungkook felt two delicate arms wrapping around him followed by a soft kiss planted on the crook of his neck, "Its okay baby. You're doing the best that you can. Screw what they think of you. I know you work hard." Jimin hugged the taller male from behind.
Jungkook broke the hug first and kissed Jimin's cheek lovingly. He finally smiled, "I fucking hate my job so much but I love you way more and I need money to treat you like a queen. Tell me what do I do?"
"You're just lucky I love you more then, and it doesn't matter as long as you keep loving me and making love to me,” Jimin giggled, and then Jimin’s lips were on his, the classic cure to his recurrent stress.
And Jungkook knew things would be alright.
Jungkook missed all sorts of things about Jimin, except that one time he cried.
The night seemed darker, the air felt colder on Jungkook’s skin when he walked out of the bar. He was barely standing on his feet. He glanced on his watch and it read somewhere between 2 to 3 o’clock in the morning, he wasn’t quite sure. He knew it was probably late enough and Jimin was probably waiting at home and worried for his sake. “Jimin…” he breathed. And it was the only thing on his mind when he made his way back to the apartment.
He stumbled on his way in and sloppily dropped his belongings to the ground. He rubbed both of his eyes, desperately trying to clear his sight. He searched around the living room with his blurry vision. And he saw him. “There you are”.
Jimin was standing right across the room in his oversized hoodie, staring right back at him with saddened eyes, the only thing Jungkook could make up clearly despite feeling lightheaded.
“Jimin...” he yelped as he tried to walk towards the older male.
“Where have you been?” Jimin asked softly, but Jungkook could hear the frustration in his voice.
“Baby..” Jungkook whined as he stepped closer and held both of Jimin’s hands before moving to his waist. “Can I get a hug? Or a kiss? I had a bad day.”
“No.. You’re drunk,” Jimin flinched away at his touch and for the first time, Jungkook felt something in his heart. Something like an ache.
He knew Jimin was upset, but he was too absorbed in his head to act rationally. He dropped his head to Jimin’s shoulder, waiting for Jimin to hold him. “I miss you,” he mumbled.
“You didn’t call. Didn’t even reply to my texts. I was so worried do you know that?” Jimin pushed him away almost too harshly, making Jungkook feel slightly irritated.
“Jimin-“
“And you came back looking like this? Didn’t I tell you I hate it when you drink? Why did you drink! You promised me you’d stop! What is wrong with y-“
“What the fuck Jimin! You want to know why? I was fucking fired! Do you get it? I am fucking jobless!”
Jungkook’s head was throbbing so hard he couldn’t even hear himself, nor that he could see how Jimin froze at the tone of his voice.
“Those fucking bastards took all of my hard work! I’m so fucking tired, Jimin! Nothing ever works out for me! I’m so fucking pathetic can’t you see?!”
And then, it happened.
What Jungkook feared the most was happening right before his eyes.
He saw tears dripping down Jimin’s face, his soft delicate face. And suddenly everything around him was spinning, all he could think of was the older male standing a feet away. Jimin, the love of his life, the reason he breathed.
Jimin was crying. He brought his small palms to his face, trying to hide the tears away. But he just kept crying harder. It was the most painful sight Jungkook had to see, and it him like a pang. That was all it took for the abstinence to came through him. He quickly pulled Jimin into his embrace, it was more like a reflex. For a moment he just held him tight, but his heart clenched tighter. He just made Jimin cry and he didn’t think he could forgive himself.
“I’m sorry...” Jimin sobbed into his chest. Jungkook gritted his teeth in frustration because how can he still fucking apologise for crying.
Jungkook cupped the older male’s face and cleared his tears with his thumbs, “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry for shouting at you I- I was just too- I’m so fucking horrible I’m sorry..”
Jungkook felt the heat accumulating in his face, he was still a little intoxicated from the alcohol. He was upset with himself more than anything. Jungkook cursed the Gods in silence for making his life so miserable in just one day. He didn’t think he had done anything that bad to deserve it. But most of all, Jimin didn’t deserve it. He decided the Gods were selfish pricks, even though he never believed in them anyway.
Maybe he was thinking too much he hadn’t realise he had been crying, until he felt a small finger caressing his skin.
“Jungkook, its okay. I’m here.”
Jungkook collapsed onto Jimin’s small frame, hopelessly wanting forgiveness.
“I didn’t mean to, you know I don’t, right? I love you so much.”
“I love you too Jungkook. You will find a way. We’ll figure this out, together, okay?”
And Jungkook hoped it was forever.
Roughly a couple of months later, he finally secured a job. It wasn’t anything great, the pay from his last job was way more satisfactory, but it was enough for now. At least he no longer had to deal with clients, and he didn’t have to work overtime. He could spend more time with his boyfriend. He could definitely live with that.
At the same time, Jimin got promoted for a higher position. That day after receiving the offer, Jimin phoned Jungkook right away. He came home running right into Jungkook’s arms and his legs wrapped around the younger’s waist, and their lips meeting each other’s. Jungkook was so happy for him. Knowing that Jimin worked hard for it, he couldn’t be any prouder. And Jimin had never looked happier. And that was the only thing that mattered. Because Jimin’s happiness was his very own.
They spent the rest of the day on a diy slash improvised candlelight dinner. It was literally a table set with three blocks of ikea scented candles, two champagne glasses (which Jimin firmly protested, because they both didn’t even like wine but Jungkook said it was just for the sake of it) (but later they exchanged with grape juice instead), and two boxes of Japanese take outs. It wasn’t much but it turned out to be the nicest dinner they'd had in a while.
“I’ll bring you to a real candlelight dinner next time."
“This is more than enough, Jungkook. Just the two of us in our home, my favourite place. And we had Japanese. It’s great. It’s perfect.” Jungkook like moments like this the most, when their gazes were locked together, and their eyes saying so much without saying anything at all. And their hearts full. Perfect.
Jungkook wished everything else would stay that way.
But love works funnily and a heart filled with it has its limits.
Jungkook was missing Jimin more than he was used to.
It had been slightly over 3 months since Jimin became the new marketing executive at his workplace, and exactly 3 months since the last time they spent time together properly. Jimin was busier than expected, not that Jungkook was surprised. He kind of saw it coming. Getting to a higher position meant more workload, commitment, and hard work. Jungkook tried to understand where he was coming from, he really did. But Jimin seemed to be overworking himself he barely had any time left for him. Jimin was sorry, though. He did realise how he often came home late and Jungkook would already be sleeping by then. Or when he did come home on time he would be on his macbook, continuing where he had left off at the office. And at the end of the day, they both kept exchanging “im sorrys” and “its okays”, both acting like that would make up for the things that were not going along.
What made things harder was that Jungkook’s work shift soon was changed from Tuesdays to Saturdays instead, which made Sundays were the only time they had for each other. Jungkook wasn’t happy with it, but he actually enjoyed working there so he didn’t bother to question it. Nor did Jimin. On most Sundays, Jungkook just liked to sleep in while Jimin wanted to do other things. So Jimin started doing things without Jungkook, and Jungkook just lazed around on his own on a bed made for two.
But when they were sitting together in the same room, they didn’t talk much, or rather they couldn’t find things to talk about. Jungkook would try to bring up the latest game he was addicted to, or their all time favourite movie, but Jimin seemed only a little interested. Jimin would only mention work stuff, or his colleagues, and at and some point Jungkook got too bored to even pay attention. So they became more familiar with the silence, that sometimes turned into craving touches and rough kisses, their bodies staggering on top of each other, desperately wanting to feel pleasure. Jungkook fucked into Jimin the same way they’d fucked before, only this time, it was all lust.
Jungkook had been missing Jimin too much it was killing him.
The stiffness in the air of the apartment was killing him. Sleeping on the same bed with someone, but feeling like nobody was there was killing him. To think that the past 5 months felt so much longer than the whole 2, no, almost 3 years of them being together, was really killing him.
So Jungkook started drinking again. Only occasionally. When Jimin wasn't around.
That night, Jungkook felt the loneliest. He was lying on the couch with a mug of cold coffee in his hand, flipping through the channels endlessly because nothing was interesting enough for him to watch. Jimin had attended a function with his colleagues, or friends now, he supposed. He glanced at the time and it was a few minutes past 1am. He wanted to hit the sack, but he thought he should just wait till Jimin came back.
Moments later Jimin was finally home. Jungkook jolted up in a sitting position and reluctantly said, “Hey..”
“Hi, still up?” Jimin glanced at him back. He was smiling and humming a little, Jungkook noticed.
“Yeah. You seem to be in a good mood?” Jungkook stood up, slowly walking towards the dining table to put his coffee down.
“Mhmm. I had a great time tonight,” Jimin grabbed the mug instead and took a sip. Jungkook just stared at him, waiting to hear something else. Anything. But Jimin just went to the kitchen, came back, grabbed his blazer, and made his way to their bedroom. Not sparing Jungkook a look.
“With that new staff in your team?” Jungkook simply threw it in the air, feeling like that was the only thing left he could say to get Jimin’s attention. Jimin stopped his step almost immediately, stood there for a moment before turning around, finally meeting Jungkook in the eye.
“Excuse me?” he huffed.
“Was it Kibum? Or Jibum?”
“Jaebum. His name is Jaebum, Jungkook.” Jimin already sounded annoyed.
“Ah, yes. Good to know he's keeping you excited,” now Jungkook was really trying to get on Jimin’s nerve.
“What are you talking about? He’s my friend Jungkook for God’s sake all of them are!”
“Sure, Jimin. You came home to me every other night looking like someone just murdered your dog. You were fucking humming just now and didn’t even look at me as if I dont exist!”
There was a recognisable moment of silence that Jungkook thought he could hear Jimin's heart battering before him. Jimin had never looked so vexed before. He walked towards Jungkook, closing the space between them. The space that had been there for a while and somehow it felt like the gap in their hearts grew shorter with every step Jimin took, and Jungkook’s heart weakened.
“Jungkook, do you think I’m cheating on you?” Jimin looked up at him, his stare felt cold, yet Jungkook thought he still had the most beautiful pair of eyes.
“No.. Jimin..” he replied softly. “I don't know, it's just so difficult right now.”
"Oh, and drinking makes it so much easier doesn't it?"
"I cant help myself okay? You're always not around. Have you seen us? This? You don't talk to me you don't kiss me. God we don't even bother to have sex anymore! This is just-"
"You've been drinking even though you know how much I fucking hate it! You don't even trust me, and suddenly its my fault?"
They paused and just stared at each other for what felt like a long time. Like they hadn't done it in a while.
Jimin was right. Jungkook didn't notice he had been selfish too. Right now, he desperately wanted to take back his words, but he knew it was too late. Jimin was unhappy, and Jungkook no longer felt he could change it.
"I miss you Jimin. So much," he hesitantly reached for Jimin’s hand. He held it with his heart, like he didn't want to let go.
“I miss you too Jungkook..,” Jimin's voice broke. “But you don’t trust me.”
"I do trust you. But your work, and things are really-"
“Jungkook, please. I can't do this anymore. It’s hurting the both of us can’t you see?” Jimin started to get teary. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.”
Instantly, Jungkook felt a crack forming within him. It was happening too fast, but he swallowed it at once. Everything was washed away in a second that he almost felt empty, and then it all came back like a huge wave hitting him strong. And it hurt, so so bad that even though his heart was already sore, it stung.
“You're right," Jungkook wavered, his grip loosened. "And I don’t think I can be with someone who's no longer in love with me,” he said, and he finally let go of the small hand.
Jungkook missed everything about Jimin, but he had unintentionally missed a couple of things.
He missed the tears generously running down Jimin’s face when he was carelessly shoving his stuff into the luggage. He missed the heavy look Jimin gave when he hung back the clothes he had borrowed from him. He missed the way Jimin looked at a framed picture of them on the dressing table, with so much longing. He missed the sound of Jimin’s heart breaking piece by piece with every step he made on his way to the door. He missed the final look in Jimin’s eyes, the same eyes from 3 years ago that were filled with love just for him. Jimin whispered in his crumbling heart "I'm still in love with you Jungkook, I never stopped" before he walked out, leaving a piece of him at the door and closed it behind him. And Jungkook had missed all of it.
“Baby?” Jungkook was staring at his boyfriend who was drifting away to sleep next to him.
“Hm?”
“You said this house, our home, is your favourite place, why?”
Jimin rolled over and gave Jungkook a soft kiss on the lips, and looked at him intently.
“Because it’s where your heart and mine become one, and will always be.”
"And Jimin?"
"Yes Jungkook."
"Remember when I said nothing ever works out for me? It's not true."
"Hm?"
"You do. You're the only thing that works out in my life just right."