Work Text:
A hand reaching for me. A person screaming my name. All i can see is blood on the cold ground and a black Cadillac. I'm dying, mom, i'm dying. That's all i can think about. My mom. I try to call out for her but no sounds come out of my mouth. I'm scared, oh mom, i'm so damn scared.
"MARK, FOR FUCK SAKE, MARK PLEASE"
I open my eyes just enough to let the sunlight hurt them. Donghyuk is jumping on my bed, screaming my name at the top of his lungs, his voice only covered by the sound of my alarm. 10:30 AM. Fuck, we have practice today. I push him off my bed and run to get something to put on. A few minutes later i'm ready, i glance at Donghyuk who's already at the door, with his hand on the handle.
"Why are you always the last one to wake up? Jisung woke up at 8 am" Donghyuk says it in a whiney tone.
"Yeah but Jisung is twelve and goes to sleep at 8 pm every night" i say, slightly chuckling.
"He's 14 and he went to sleep three hours after your old wrinkly ass" he snorts. He always does that. It's a sarcastic sound he always makes when he knows he won the fight.
"Then why didn't you wake me up earlier?" At this point i'm just trying to make him mad. Donghyuk always looks funny when he's mad. There's a vein that pops up on his forehead when he's in pure rage and it's so funny to look at.
"Because i ain't your fucking girlfriend" he says again, scoffing and glancing at me for a second. He bites his lower lip.
"You wish you were though, don't you?" I wink at him. His only reaction is to raise his middle finger in my direction. I wink again.
"I love you"
He doesn't even react to the last three words. He runs out of the door to the main entrance of the building. I follow him right behind. We both know we are late and we both know we're gonna get scolded by the choreographer again. We run into the sm building at our best speed and don't even glance at the elevator that's always packed with people coming and going. We take the stairs, stairs that seem to never end, until we reach the third floor. Donghyuk is the first one to enter the practice room as always. He always does that whenever we're late on a practice day. Donghyuk enters first, the teacher starts scolding him while i slip in without being noticed. Time passes so fast that the teacher doesn't even have the time to scold me. I make a grateful gesture towards Donghyuk who replies with an eye roll. He loves me, i know he does. He always tries to shake off all the good things he does for me with eye rolls and fuck yous and middle fingers, but i know he does all of it out of love. The teacher is being harder on us than usual and we're all destroyed after the fifteenth time we practice that goddamn song about chewing gums. The teacher finally calls the lesson over and we all lay on the floor, thanking God and all Saints. I walk over to Donghyuk who's sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, sweat dripping from all sides. He is always the one who sweats the most, i think while a smile forms on my face. I put my hand on his shoulder and sit next to him. He grabs the towel sitting on the floor next to him and starts cleaning off the sweat off my forehead.
"You would be such a good girlfriend, i want to spend the rest of my life next to you" i wink at him for the third time that day and he throws the towel on my face. I hear a whispered fuck off. I smile again by myself.
"What's wrong with it? I would LOVE to wake up next to your no makeup face everyday and let's not talk about your morning breath!" I love teasing him like this, he always looks at me with his confused deep brown eyes and tries to understand if i'm being truthful or joking once again. He can be so dumb sometimes.
"So are you accepting my proposal? I want to make you as happy as you make me" at this point i burst out laughing, he looks at me in disgust and gets up to go shower. I stay put, smiling again by myself.
We get out around 6 pm, there's still some light outside and the sky is that light and yet dark blue color i've always loved. The other kids already went back to the dorm leaving me and Donghyuk alone once again. I look at him and smile.
"Who gets back first gets to choose the meal AND the movie to watch tonight" i always dare him, we run everyday like this, he's always the one who loses even though he's the fastest out of the whole group. He always lets me win, he always lets me choose what to eat and what to watch. He knows i love running and he knows i love the feeling of the wind blowing through my hair. He knows the most about me. He's the only person i've ever trusted with my deepest and darkest secrets and thoughts. He has always been there for me and has always been my rock, my safe place, my savior. He nods at me with a daring smile. We both start running, of course he loses speed five seconds into the race. I cross the street faster than the other days, today no one is crossing it, no big crowd to run against. I feel the wind moving my hair, i close my eyes and open my arms and let the wind run through them too. I hear glass shattering, car wheels screeching and the loudest thud i've ever heard in my life. My eyes open on a pinkish sky blending into the dark blue of the night. I look behind me. It hurts. It hurts more than any pain i've ever experienced. It hurts more than that time i closed my finger into the car door. It hurts more than the time i stepped on a lego. It hurts immensely. I feel my body become cold and all i can hear now is a faint whistle in my ears. There's blood all over the street. A black cadillac. I try to scream his name but no sound comes out of my mouth. I run over to him. I kneel down and start shaking his body. I can't see anything but my own tears and a blurry red figure. I keep calling his name. My voice that wouldn't come out before is now the only sound i can hear.
"DONGHYUK FOR FUCK SAKE DONGHYUK PLEASE"
Theres a loud and deep breath. I look down to see his lips quietly moving. I put my left ear closer to his mouth.
"Mom" he whispered.
That's all i remember before the ambulances came and took him away. A police officer puts a blanket over my shoulders. My mouth is hanging open, my eyes aren't focusing on anything and before i even realize i'm standing here, looking at the last photo i'll ever take of him. I repeat to myself the things i already said. "I love you, oh god i love you so much. I wanted to spend the rest of my life next to you. I wanted to wake up next to you everyday. I wanted to make you as happy as you made me. And i ruined it all, i lost the best thing i've ever had in my life for a stupid race and a movie."