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"There it is!"
Harry wasn't exactly quiet as he entered the room, his voice terse and nearly as loud as the sound of him throwing open the bedroom door.
Liam blinked slowly, eyes blurry with the sleep he was just falling into. He'd lay down on the bed a few moments after Harry had left to take the children to Lou and Tom's for the weekend. It was their fifth wedding anniversary and Harry had been hinting all week at them making the most of it. That they'd only be in their twenties for a few months more and then - apparently - their social life would be over.
Because turning thirty was officially "over the hill."
Liam thought it was a bit ridiculous really. Ever since Elliot was born they'd been more home bodies than anything else, even more so when the twins came along. Now with Max only being four months old, life pretty much revolved around their children, work and on the very, very rare occasion, date night for them both. So, if Liam indulged Harry with a weekend of so called "freedom," it was purely to keep the peace.
Liam would have been quite happy to spend their weekend with their children. He'd just got home from three weeks in LA helping produce Zayn's second album. It wasn't the perfect time for being away but Harry told him to go, that if Perrie could do without Zayn then he could do without Liam. It wasn't exactly the same, considering Perrie only had the one baby at home not. . . well, not four like they did. But Elliot was in school for most of the day and with the twins in Nursery and Harry's mum offering to come stay, it worked.
"Where's what?" Liam answered through a yawn only to realise just what Harry was talking about when he ended up with a face full of fluff - and slightly damp - fur. Hopefully Harry wouldn't notice the drool patch.
"This! We got all the way to Lou's and I'd settled them in, given them the instructions for Abigail's ear drops and Max's reflux formula when Tilly couldn't find Nunny," Harry brushes a curl out of his eyes while shaking the long eared pink bunny that their daughter has been attached to since birth in front of Liam's face. "I had to promise that I'd drive all the way back to get it and, why, remind me why we didn't buy a second or bloody fourth of this toy so we could leave one at everybodies house?"
Liam yawns again, rolling onto his back from where he had somehow gotten all cuddled up with their daughters favourite soft toy. "Did you remember Elliot's inhaler? His chest was a bit rattly when I got in last night,"
Liam stretches his arms above his head, pointing his feet and wriggling his toes in the warmth of the thick socks his mum had bought for him to wear on the plane. He hadn't got changed when he arrived in the early hours of the morning. Just walked quietly through the house, checking on each of the children until he crawled into bed on his side, finding a sleeping Matilda and Nunny in-between them. He'd spent an hour with them when he woke up to Elliot and Tilly crawling all over him, Abigail on one side blowing raspberries on his face and Harry trying to settle a wailing Max in his arms. He'd gotten up, filled bowls of cereal, took Max for a walk around the yard singing softly, while Harry had a shower and bathed the others before he helped bustle them all into the car without even having given Harry a kiss "Hello."
"Yes, I packed that and his spacer just in case. The bloody doctor said he's fine but I know he's not and it's not just because I'm an oversensitive parent or whatever it was he was insinuating when I had Max back in there the day before yesterday. He just won't keep anything down and I don't think it's just reflux and -"
"Harry," Liam rolls back on his side, pushes up on one arm while he grabs at Harry where he's still standing at the side of the bed, grip tight on Nunny's ears.
It doesn't stop Harry, who appears to be on a roll. Which, given his usual slow as syrup way of talking, is kind of hilarious how fast he's spitting words out now.
"- he tried to tell me I'm stressed, like, of course I'm bloody stressed! I've got four children and my husband's off gallivanting around LA with popstars and musicians and then he makes me take a blood test because of course he's a bloody Alpha and he can sense these things-"
"Harry," Liam tries again, just missing Harry's flailing hand, bunny flying about so hard Liam thinks the stitching job he did just before he left on Nunny's left ear might not actually hold.
Harry's still going strong, eyes wide and curls flying wildly as he continues, "-and he asks when my last heat was and like, I've a four month old baby for Christ sakes, so I tell him this but you know, before you left I was, and you were and we-"
Liam sits up, suddenly feeling a lot more awake than he had been because he does remember this. He remembers quite vividly the night before he flew out to LA he and Harry splurged on a night in the city, a five star hotel that was closer to the airport than their house and well. Harry did smell good, but Liam had thought it was all the wine and that scotch that Harry insisted they have at the bar downstairs. It would have been, it would have been the right time if they hadn't of just had Max but, god, Harry was so wet that night and Liam's knot felt huge and they were joined for so long and maybe?
"Harry? Harry, c'mere a minute," Liam finally gets a hand on Harry's hand and pulls gently on his arm until Harry relents, sitting beside Liam, arms wrapped around the once pink bunny on his lap.
Liam can feel the tension radiating from Harry better than before. He's stiff at Liam's side, breaths sharp and quick and Liam can feel the echo of Harry's emotions radiating through his own body. There's all this anxiety and worry and scared, Harry's definitely feeling scared. Yet there's this tiny blip of something like happiness, too, and Liam can't be sure if that's what Harry's feeling or just an extra piece of himself lost in their connection.
He wraps his arm around Harry's waist, pulls him close on the second try when Harry finally breathes out deeply, falling into Liam's side. Sitting like this on the bed makes it easier for Harry to put his head on Liam's shoulder, to turn his body in a little so he can bury his face in Liam's chest, fitting in under his jaw.
"Babe, what. What are you trying to say?"
Harry shrugs, and Liam can see how white his knuckles are as they hold onto Nunny, like his hold on the toy is more like a hold on all the things he needs to say to Liam but feels like he can't.
Liam concentrates on feeling calm, using the connection they have as Alpha and Omega to try and calm his boy down. He thinks about all the love he has for this idiot boy he fell in love with when Harry literally fell into his lap during Freshers week at Uni. This stupid boy with his long gangly legs and arms, ridiculous chocolatey curls and green, green eyes with a heart of gold. This beautiful boy, who within seconds of apologising for falling onto Liam, threw up all over Liam's shirt. This Harry of his, who Liam took home, cleaned himself up and then Harry up, who apologised all the while. Harry, that refused to sleep on the sofa, curling around Liam on his bed. Harry, who destiny, it seemed, threw them together for better, for worse.
"Harry, whatever it is, whatever. . . just, it's okay. You know it's fine. We'll deal with it like we always deal with everything. Together." Liam speaks softly, rubs his hand over Harry's side unhappy a little with himself that Harry obviously feels like he can't open up to Liam about this.
Maybe helping out with Zayn's album wasn't the best idea. Harry's always overly emotional for the first six-ish months after having a baby. And this time wasn't as easy as the last - well, in a way it was, considering there was just one of Max and not two like the time before - but Harry told him he'd be fine. Reminded Liam of the network of friends they had and that Nick would drop around after the Breakfast Show to help out and that Louis and Lou were a phone call away, just like both their mums. When he'd called, Harry always sounded up beat, tired, but upbeat and Louis always reported back to Liam that Harry was doing fine.
Not that Louis could be relied on. He was Harry's best friend so it wasn't as if he would tell Liam the whole honest truth.
He really shouldn't have bloody gone.
"I'm just. I really though it was my time now, you know? We talked about it, remember? When Max was one, that I could go back to work? Really make a go of the cafe and using that extra money we've been putting away to put in a stage and that. God, Li. It's all I've been thinking about. It's all I dream about, you know? And it's awful. It's awful that I feel like this. That I don't want this. I mean, how can I? What type of person am I?" Harry whispers the last words into Liam's skin and he's consumed with guilt and this overwhelming melancholy that Harry is now exuding. It's like someones poured a bucket of water over his head, sucked all the warmth from his body.
Liam can't work out where it's coming from. Harry going back to work, really starting to turn his dreams of running his own vegan cafe/bakery/acoustic bar thing into a reality, was the plan they'd worked out for their future. Once they'd finished having children, once they were all settled and Liam was working steadily for a good company, Harry would get to have his turn at living out his dreams. Liam's always wanted this for Harry. Would have been happy with the two children they'd decided on but twins kind of changed that and then Max wasn't exactly planned but, they loved each of their children. Were ridiculously thankful for all of them, especially when they had friends like Aimee and Ian that for reasons unknown to science, couldn't conceive at all.
This sadness that Harry's filled with isn't just about his job though, Liam knows this, can taste it bitter on the back of his tongue. This is guilt and hate turned inward and it doesn't make sense that Harry doesn't like himself right now.
"Haz, just. What did the doctor say?" Liam asks because that's the only part of Harry's rambling that he can't quite figure out.
Harry sighs, this deep thing that Liam feels in his bones. Liam counts to five in his head before reaching over with his free hand, tugging Harry's free from Nunny to hold in his own. He squeezes Harry's fingers lightly where they're joined with his, wordless encouragement that has the last piece of tension easing from Harry's shoulders.
"I know you can feel it, Liam. I can't. I just," he turns into Liam's arms further, "I need you to listen, really listen," Harry finishes, raising their joined hands to his stomach, smoothing out Liam's hand until it lies flat against the soft curve of Harry's belly.
Liam's brow furrows as he tries to do what Harry tells him. The house is quiet - something that has been a rare occurrence in the past four and a half years - which makes their breathing loud. Harry feels the same, the overwhelming melancholy and dislike still swirling there but there's something. . . there's something else that Liam can't quite lay a finger on. It's warm and homely and little, so little that Liam has trouble pinning just what Harry feels down.
"I can't, you're feeling a lot, Harry. It's-"
"A baby. It's another baby, Liam. That's what it is," Harry says voice breaking at the end and oh.
Oh.
He proper listens then, syncs the beating of his and Harry's breathing and hearts and there, right there just between it all is this tiny out of time noise. This quick beat that could almost match the tempo of one of Zayn's more uptempo songs. It's.
"Fuck,"
Harry nods and Liam wishes he could take the word back because now his head is filled with thoughts like, five and how? and where are we going to put them all? because there literally is no more room in the house. And when that freak out ends another begins with his heart in the direction of Harry's because Max was meant to be the last and Liam was going to get the snip now that he was back home. Harry was going to start his career proper and Liam was going to work closer to home and they were - in Nick's words - going to be that ridiculously prepared "power couple/mega family" that the Beckham's were known for.
Liam was excited about it. Harry was ecstatic about it. And now. . .
"Do you. You don't-" he starts with heavy heart and Harry stops him quick with a shake of his head.
"I can't. It's us, you know? It's you and me and I can't. I couldn't with Elliot and I never even considered it with the girls. I'm just," he sighs and squeezes his hand over Liam's. "I was really excited about the cafe, yeah?"
Liam pulls them both backwards, shoves the blankets down until he and Harry are under the covers, tugs the duvet right up over their heads until they're both on their sides, in a fortress of blankets just them and no one else. Just Harry and Liam and well, the baby.
A baby.
He tugs Harry in close, shifts until their legs are twined together and he's got one arm over Harry's waist, the other tucked under his head. Harry's got both hands on Liam's chest and he's looking down between them, green eyes hidden under thick black lashes. He's sucking his bottom lip into his mouth which Liam knows is a sign that Harry's on the verge of tears. He'll be wanting to hide the tell tale tremble that occurs whenever he gets too upset about something. It's the same face he gave Liam when Liam was on one knee in front of all their family and friends, asking him the most important question of all. Christ, five years of marriage and now five children.
No wonder Harry's near crumpling under the weight of it all.
"This is just us. Just you and me, Harry," Liam starts, "This is a huge thing, babe, five children? Five? If you don't, if you really think you don't want this or we can't do it, no one has to know. It's just us," he finishes, because as much as he wants this, wants this unexpected little person it's not his decision alone. Harry's the one that has to carry this little person for then next eight and a bit months. Harry's the one with the terrible morning sickness and the weird cravings and needing to see a therapist for his back and maybe even bed rest for the last two months if - oh Christ if - there ends up being more than one under where Liam's thumb keeps rubbing circles just shy of Harry's tum.
Harry leans forward, presses their foreheads together before answering. "It's five under five, Li. That's one kid for every year we've been married. People are going to talk. People are going to say we're just another 'breeding pair,'"
"Fuck people," Liam says sharply, because yeah, they're young and it is a lot of kids but, "Look at Brad and Angelina? No one says shit about them and they've got way more than we do,"
Harry snorts out this laugh and it lightens Liam's chest to hear the sound, feels Harry's tension ease, too. "Brad and Angelina adopted half of those children, Liam. And they are also exceptionally awesome movie stars. Well, Brad's not half bad,"
Liam pinches Harry's side, "You do have a crush on him!" Liam crows. The question of who Harry finds attractive in the celebrity world has always been a bone of contention between them. Especially with Liam working with more and more A list stars within Simon's company, they'd had to enforce a rule on no musicians. Well, none except Liam and Zayn and Ed but that was because they knew them.
And for Liam, more importantly, they were also taken. Zayn had bonded with Perrie just after Liam and Harry had met, and Ed had met Taylor right around the time the twins were born.
"Only in Fight Club. That's all. And you think the same thing you twat!" Harry pushed at Liam's chest and the smile on his face erased even more of the blue feeling from before.
They were quiet for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts and Liam concentrating on where he could feel Harry's mess of emotions. The tangle was slowly unravelling itself and Liam knew that meant Harry was coming to a decision. He just couldn't be sure of which it was.
Liam couldn't really think about what he felt. Didn't want to bombard Harry with that as well when in his heart he knew he'd be happy with Harry's decision either way. Once Harry made one, he'd deal with the fall out from that.
"I want this baby. Even if it means pushing back the caf for another year or so. Just means we can save more and I can have Jamie look at the plans again, find a better spot and all."
Harry looks right into Liam's eyes as he says this, the apple green the same as it had been when they were stupid eighteen year olds who moved in together two months after they'd met. There was a hint of purple in the shadow beneath them, but that was near normal for both of them in the past few months - well, years really - what with late nights and early mornings. The football training for Elliot and the twins off at Nursery three times a week and Max being fussy was just the tip of the iceberg. Then there was Liam leaving for two bloody weeks and Harry trying to do everything on his own. No well oiled (mostly) machine that the two of them were when they were together. Liam getting the children ready in the morning, breakfast, bathed and out the door. Harry taking nights with getting dinner on and homework done and Liam walking in anywhere between six and midnight depending on what he had going on.
That would have to end.
"I'll help out more. Tell Simon I can't do anymore overseas accounts. If Kanye wants me he can come here and find me," Liam says, and Harry rolls his eyes.
"If Kanye comes calling I'll put you on the plane myself,"
Liam smiles, which feels like it's the first time he's done so since coming home, "Kanye won't call,"
Harry tilts his head to the side, raises a brow, "Kanye will call. You said the same thing about Miley and who did she get to help her out with that last song?"
"Yeah, but Miley is. . . Miley's Miley. Kanye is Kanye."
Harry pinches Liam's nipple over his shirt and Liam yelps, "They're people, Liam. And you're good at your job. Jay Z is probably on the phone to Simon right now, asking for you humble services to make him sound brilliant,"
Liam blushes and slides his hand up under Harry's shirt further, tickles his fingers light over Harry's ribs. "You're faith in my talent is astounding, if mostly unwarranted, Haz,"
Harry rubs the tip of his nose against Liam's, "They'd be lucky to have you, any of them. But maybe, maybe in another year or so,"
Liam nods, licking over his lips because Harry feels nearly all like the Harry Liam's used to. The happy one with a dash of proud and a sprinkle of worry because they're parents and that worry has been there since the day Liam's Dad congratulated them on giving him his first grandchild long before Liam could work out just why Harry's scent had dulled and what that meant for them both.
"I'm lucky to have you," Liam says softly, and god, he feels it. He feels so completely and utterly full with love for Harry, for the family they've made together, for the one they're still creating. He shifts his hand down over Harry's back, pulls him in closer at the base of his spine.
He doesn't say anything else, just brushes his lips over Harry's because he wants to and he hasn't yet today. Hasn't kissed this husband of his, this Harry that owns all of his heart since he got home. An important issue that needs rectifying immediately.
Their kiss deepens as this little moan rumbles up from Harry's chest, his grip on Liam's front tightening as Liam tilts his head, fits their mouthes together better. They kiss and kiss and Liam pulls Harry in and in, runs his hands over Harry's skin as best he can with all these clothes on. Kisses Harry until he can't breathe anymore.
When he does pull back, it's to both of them panting, the tiny amount of air they'd had in their bubble under the blankets near gone, just this warmth between them in stale air.
Harry's lips are red and shiny, his eyes blown out so there's barely a ring of green surrounding the black. He looks as sexy now as he did in the beginning and Liam wants him. Wants every part of Harry even if sex right now won't really be a thing what with Harry pregnant and not very far along. Blowjobs could work though. He could suck Harry down and Harry could use his mouth, maybe at the same time. Or hands, a quick handy would be fine. Liam's own has had far too much intimate time with his cock while he's been away from Harry's side. Quick Skype sex late at night or early in the morning depending on time zones and little ones being around just isn't the same as having Harry right there.
"Hi," Liam says, and Harry looks a little confused, curls his hand around the back of Liam's neck so he can play with the curls at the base there.
"Hello," Harry says in return, sounding a little unsure.
"Just realised, hadn't even said that to you yet. So, Hello,"
Harry snickers, presses in close before whispering the sentiment right back at Liam.
Liam thinks about all the things he should say, all the things he could say but then kissing Harry seems like a much better idea right up until Harry pulls back, throwing the covers off and something else that makes a thunk somewhere in the bedroom - possibly the wall.
"What was that?" Liam asks, between Harry pressing his lips to Liam's before trailing kisses along Liam's jaw.
"Your daughter is going to have to get used to sleeping without that Bunny," He says and Liam laughs, he forgot the thing was even in the bed with them.
"I share my Liam with no one," Harry says, utter seriousness in his tone and Liam doesn't have a chance to comeback with something ridiculous because Harry's got a hand down his trousers and.
Well, sex with his husband seems a little more important right now.