Archive of Our Own

The avengers were split, he’d been left to die alone, and he’d been betrayed yet again. He wanted the pain to stop but how could expect the pain to stop after everything and knowing one day he’d just end up mistakenly open his heart again. He managed to get the suit off and looked around the Hydra base. He was wandering lost and dazed still trying to process what had happened. He had fought Steve…Steve had lied to him. Fought him to protect the man who had killed his mother.

When he stopped walking he spotted something he had never wanted to see in person but now a plan was formulating. He closed his eyes telling himself it was a terrible idea. He should turn away and leave. Go home and do what he always did. Rebuild when everything had been broken. But when he opened his eyes and saw it right there offering a way to escape everything he couldn’t just go back to do the same thing over again and wait for it to happen again. He found a way to contact the tower and Friday. She sounded relieved to hear from him which made everything so much harder. Almost enough to make him decide not to go through with it.

“Friday, pick up at my location…It’s time for Protocol Rebirth.”

“Boss?” She sounded frightened and he knew he was abandoning her.

“It’s alright Fri…I’m sorry…”

He knew she’d follow the protocol and he hated himself for its name. Knowing it was named after a project Steve had been a part of and he was now the reason for its activation. He went back further into the base where the chair he knew well enough from the exposed Hydra files. It would take everything away. All the memories that kept him up at night and the memories of all those who betrayed him. It would take away the pain in a way nothing else could.

~

Steve and the others were sitting together when T’Challa approached them. His expression was grim as he stopped by their table.

“Something wrong your majesty?” Steve asked concerned.

“The UN is considering excusing your crimes and changing the Accords to suit you better.”

The table full of former avengers looked confused.

“Why?” Clint asked confused why they were suddenly changing their minds just to get them to sign.

“Because without Iron Man the UN needs you all back.”

“What do you mean without iron man?” Natasha asked with equal expressions of confusion around the table.

“Tony Stark is dead and all information and evidence of his suits destroyed. The UN is desperate and willing to overlook what you all did before.”

The group was in shocked silence hearing that not only was Tony Stark dead but iron man was gone.

“How?” Steve whispered.

“No one knows. Everything was handled by Stark Industries CEO Ms. Potts and Coronel Rhodes.”

They all sat uncertain how to take this news. Tony Stark who had betrayed them, who had let them be locked up, and who hadn’t heard them out or try to work with them was gone. One by one it dawned on them that they had betrayed him and it was them who hadn’t heard them out. It was their choice that had them locked up. Now he was gone. Without hesitation they signed the new Accords.

~

Loki was bored with his time in Midgard but it was better than being locked away in Asgard’s dungeons. He had no doubt Thor wouldn’t find him. He wasn’t anywhere near him or his so called heroes. He had heard the news of Tony Stark’s passing and felt a small sense of loss for such an interesting mind. It was a pity their first meeting had been as enemies.

He decided to go to a bar and get a drink hoping to entertain himself and perhaps fill his night with some fun. He still didn’t care for mortals but at least they could ease his boredom for a night.

He hadn’t looked at the name of the bar and when the bouncer asked for an ID he handed over the fake ID without bothering to look up. It wasn’t until he was seated at the bar that he bothered to pay attention to anything. He froze at the sight of several others within the bar dressed as various heroes and villains. Confused he turned towards the bouncer who was dressed as a female version of the captain.

“What can I get you handsome?”

He span around meeting a gaze that was a familiar amber brown. They were different though and so was the man they were attached to. Short blonde hair though it wasn’t natural and clearly well dyed, he had no facial hair, and he looked a bit younger and more in shape.

“I fear I’m a bit confused, why is everyone dressed in such a way?”

“It’s just the kind of bar I have. Did you not know that when you came here? I’d have to admit you’re the first to come in by accident.”

Loki stared at the others confused but was distracted by a green drink someone held.

“What is that drink?”

The man looked.

“Oh that’s Mischief Maker.”

Confused but curious he ordered it. The man smiled as he went to make the drink that was served in a shot glass. Loki accepted it and drank it tasting the slight tang to the drink though uncertain why it was called by such a name. He looked up to ask the bartender to find him smirking with a small pocket mirror.

“Stick out your tongue.”

He did so and found his tongue purple even though his drink had been a green color.

“It’s random; did you like it or want to try something different?”

“How did you get it to change my tongue’s color?”

The man put a finger to his lips as he said in a slightly seductive tone, “If I told you that I’d have to kill you. If you have a favorite super hero or villain I have a drink made based off of them. That’s why people come dressed up so if you like the place feel free to come dressed as your favorite. We hold a contest once a month for best cosplay.”

Loki thought it was quite odd but looking down at his empty shot glass he smirked.

“So this was made after the villain Loki?”

“Yep, you look a bit like him now that I look at you but hate to tell you but he’s hotter.”

Loki smirked liking this mortal.

“What is your name?”

The bartender held out his hand. “Edwin Carter, pleasure to meet you.”

He accepted the hand, “Luke Laufeyson.”

“Well Luke is there something else you’d like to try?”

He smirked.

“What is base off the superhero iron man?”

He grinned.

“Hope you’re made of iron otherwise this one is going to knock you on your ass.”

The next drink was much stronger and even Loki was surprised. He found himself going from drinking in silence to talking with the bartender who had a playful personality, an interesting sense of humor, and flirted as though it was second nature.

He wasn’t sure how he did it but he managed get the man into his bed that night. When morning came he didn’t even want to kick the man out of his bed. He was the most entertainment he’d found in a while.

“So why do you run such a bar? I find the name quite strange as well.”

“What’s wrong with a bar named The Lair?”

“You realize only supervillains have lairs.” Loki countered with his bed companion as he got dressed.

“You know heroes are just people who got a few extra hugs that villains didn’t get right?” He countered with a smirk.

Loki laughed.

“You are attempting to distract me, why the bar?”

Edwin shrugged.

“I do what I want and it’s what I wanted to do. Plus it was simple enough given I don’t really have a past.”

Loki raised a brow in silent question.

“Amnesia, don’t remember anything before about a year ago.”

“How odd, why would you suffer such a thing?”

“No idea, all I know is I had no memory but something told me not to go looking for my past. So I looked to the future and gave my past the bird.”

“I do not understand your words. What do you mean-”

Edwin flipped him off.

“That’s what I did to my past. You don’t have a future if all you do is look to the past so why not? What about you Luke? You seem like an interesting character, what makes you pick up the pretty gay bartender and inquire about his past?”

“Oh I never said you were pretty.”

“Your eyes said it between the Widow Bites and the Hammer Time drinks. I was almost certain you were drunk at that point.”

Loki scoffed at the idea that Midgardian drinks could even get him intoxicated.

“I was not drunk and my eyes did not say such things.”

Edwin flopped onto the bed and pretended to pin the god to it.

“Oh? So you don’t think I’m pretty? How will my poor heart ever survive such a thing?”

“Fine you’re pretty. Now leave me be tiny man.”

“Awe you’re cute in the mornings.” He gave him a quick kiss before getting up to leave.

“See you around angel.” He said leaving Loki’s apartment with a wave.

Loki lay on the bed with a heavy sigh almost wishing the mortal had stayed. He had bed partners in Midgard ask him out after having sex with him and he would always laugh and tell them to leave. When he turned he spied a paper that hadn’t been there before the mortal had kissed him. He picked it up and found the man’s number and laughed. Such a tricky creature that one was.

He didn’t bother to call the mortal and instead arrived at the bar the next night. Edwin grinned at him and Loki stared seeing the blonde hair replaced red with the tips done with something that was gold and sparkled. The bouncer whose name he discovered was Karen was dressed as Dr. Doom and had him smiling.

“Didn’t like your previous look?”

“You think I’m keeping the good captain’s look every day? It’s all about iron man right now baby.”

Loki smirks liking this mortal even more.

“I must say I originally didn’t call because I don’t date blondes.”

“Oh well its good I’m not a blonde then. So maybe you’ll meet me for dinner so I can spoil you like the darling princess you are?”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“You have already bedded me; surely you do not need to continue such flirting.”

“I’ll have you know I would die without the ability to flirt with handsome men like you. Though if you agree to go out with me I would only flirt with you.” He winked at the god making him blush.

“I am not so easily won over; you shall have to try harder to win my heart.”

“Challenge accepted.”

Loki found himself intrigued enough by the mortal to continue to go to the bar and let the bartender flirt with him. More often than not he found himself with the man in his bed.

“What if I decided to be a thief and just steal your heart?” He asked one morning with a flirty grin on his face.

“Oh you intend to steal my heart now? I do believe you may be a villain my dear Edwin.”

The mortal laughed.

“Well I can assure you I’m the prettiest villain you’ve ever met. Go out with me sexy.”

Loki had already considered it so he finally gave in.

“Very well but I have high standards and I’m the jealous type. I’m also quite possessive.”

“I’m not hearing a downside. You free tonight? I’ll get someone else to cover the bar.”

“I can ensure I’m available tonight, what do you have in mind?”

“It’s a surprise, just be ready by six handsome.”

Loki watched him leave again. He had no idea what the man had planned but the mortal hadn’t disappointed him yet. He hadn’t expected to be picked up with a bouquet of roses being offered to him. It was sweet and the man looked amazing in a suit. The surprise was dinner and a walk on the beach. It was romantic and he found himself truly falling for the mortal as they dated.

Four months into dating Edwin he realized he should tell the man the truth. He wasn’t human and he wasn’t Luke. He was nervous as he entered the bar to speak to his boyfriend. He no longer had to bother giving his ID to the bouncer as she knew him by now. However as he entered he heard a familiar voice within the bar. It was his idiotic brother and the captain. He carefully kept his face pointed away from them. He had changed his features when going out just enough and his hair was longer. He’d also made his height shorter than his normal self. He noticed a third in their group who had a metal arm and looked uneasy being there. Loki didn’t know that man.

“Hey lovebug, didn’t expect to see you today.”

“I-I wish to speak with you but I believe this is a bad time.”

“Nonsense, I’ve always got time for you babe. Hey did you notice my bar attracted the attention of several real life heroes. Point Blank there actually hugged me for naming several drinks after him.”

Loki had heard the nickname being used by Tony Stark. He looked at Edwin confused realizing only now just how much he did look like Tony Stark. Yes he looked younger but running a bar was far less stressful than running a company like Stark Industries. Stress probably aged him terribly and his more muscular appearance was due to his workout regimen at the gym. He would have seen the lies from the man so he knew he really didn’t have any memory from before. He felt his heart shatter realizing he’d fallen in love with his enemy.

“No…I’ll talk to you later…”

“Hey what’s going on love? You have the same look on your face when Capsicle and Bucky over there saw me. Is something wrong?”

Loki felt his heart shatter further. This man while he had no memory was Tony Stark. He was certain his old teammates had partly recognized him and were remembering their supposedly dead friend. Loki hated himself as he turned to leave. He rushed out but he was caught easily.

“Don’t…” He whispered knowing he could not have this man.

“What’s going on Luke?”

“I am not Luke…I lied to you about my name.”

“I know.”

Loki freezes.

“What?”

“You’re Loki, the real Loki. I know.”

“Why would you date me?”

“Because I like you. You’re sexy and witty and just the perfect amount of sass I need in my life.”

Loki was so confused.

“You don’t even know who you are…how can you accept me? What if we’re enemies?”

“Are you my enemy?”

“No…”

“Then we’re not enemies. Look I know I have three heroes in my bar but let’s meet up after I close up. Or I’ll call someone else in, please Lo?”

“Alright…ok Edwin.”

Loki smiles as he watches his lover return to his job. He hates himself for giving him up but they believe to different worlds and Tony Stark would always be a hero and Loki was just a monster and a relic that didn’t deserve him.

He used his magic to send a message to Natasha. The widow would see the truth. She’d bring the hero back to his home. Loki went home feeling his heart break beyond repair.

~

Edwin was looking forward to seeing his boyfriend as he closed up the bar. It was late and he was tired because it had been a busy night but he told Loki he’d see him. He turned away from the bar after locking up and found himself face to face with yet another hero.

“Bar’s closed red.” He said turning to leave but she quickly grabbed him.

“Hey, I’ve already got a lover and you’re not my type. Hands off.”

Her grip tightened.

“Why did you leave?”

He stared at her confused.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Why did you make us all think you were dead? Even for you that’s pretty messed up Tony.”

He tried pull away again but she held tight.

“I don’t know you and my name isn’t Tony.”

She searched his gaze as though she could see into his soul.

“I don’t want to fight you but I will if you don’t let go.”

“There’s no way you could look so much like him and not be him.”

“If I was at some point I’m not now. Look, I don’t know who I was before but I have a life here. I don’t need a past I don’t remember now leave me alone.”

She released him and thought she’d leave him be but the moment he turned away she stuck him with something that had him knocked out fast. When he came to it was a curse at the woman. He was on a couch in a place he didn’t recognize. A man who looked really worried moved towards him. Seeing the wheelchair he stared confused.

“Where am I?”

“Tony you’re back home, we’re going to get your memories back.”

“My name’s not Tony, why don’t you people get that? Fuck…how long have I been out? He’s going to wonder what happened to me…”

“His ID says Edwin Carter.” Natasha said having his wallet in hand.

“Since when do the heroes kidnap people?”

“Since one of our own disappears with no memory of who they are.”

“Is he finally awake?” Steve says stepping forward.

“Yeah I’m awake and I want to go home. I won’t tell the police you drugged and kidnapped me if you give me my wallet back and take me home.”

“Tony we’re not letting you go like this. What if someone realizes you’re without your memory? They might try and take advantage of you.”

Behind Steve was Bucky who looked worried as well.

“Wanda you’re finally here, can you find out why he doesn’t remember anything?”

He looked to see yet another avengers coming towards him. He had heard about her abilities and backed away from her.

“Stay the hell away from me.”

Steve grabbed him to hold him still.

“It’s alright Tony, we’ll help you.”

When he struggled Steve took hold of his hands to let Wanda move towards him with her hands glowing red.

“It shouldn’t take long Tony.”

Fear consumed Edwin as he struggled against the super soldier. The soldier held strong as Wanda’s power began unlocking memories that he heard a voice screaming at him not to let come back. He screamed as more were unlocked and when the hands holding him finally released him it was done so with cries of pain. Wanda moved away from him and he realized why they were all now moving away from him. Red burned in his veins and his shirt burned at the touch of the fire burning from within him. He looked at the shocked faces of the avengers but he knew it was too late. He remembered too much already.

He glared at Natasha.

“My phone, where is it?”

She held it out to him and he snatched it from her hand surprised he could calm down enough to make sure Extremis didn’t burn it. He dialed Loki’s number and put the phone to his ear.

“Edwin?”

“Not quite but I will be again soon. The avengers got me but I’m going to fix this.”

“Tony…did…did you make yourself forget?”

“Yeah…they used Wanda’s powers on me against my will. I’m going to wipe the memories again and we can go back to how things were…ok?”

“Tony why would you purposely-”

Rhodey was cut off as Loki suddenly appeared in front of newly returned Tony.

“Lo.”

“Why would you willing remove all your memories? Such a task cannot be done painlessly by you mortals. Why?” He growled angry.

“I…” Tony was actually in tears. “I wanted the pain to end. I’m tired of losing family and I’m so sick and tired of having family betray me. I try to be a hero and I get people killed, I swear I won’t trust again and it still happens only for me to be betrayed again. When they left me to die I found the chair from Hydra’s files that they used on the winter soldier. I made sure I forgot everything. I…I could finally sleep Lo…no memory of nightmares. No memories of never being good enough for my dad. No more remembering living in Captain America’s fucking shadow. I was happy and not waiting for the world and people to have ridiculously high expectations that I can’t meet, no one else using me for money or tech and always having to do things just to keep people around. I didn’t want to remember…”

Loki pulled him close and let the mortal cry.

“Who hurt you this much my little Edwin?”

“Everyone…I don’t want to hurt anymore Lokes…let me forget again…please…”

“You’re not forgetting again and if anyone ever hurts you I will kill them myself.” He growled making Tony look at him. “I love you. Even though you’re mortal and the most infuriating man I’ve ever met. I’d kill a thousand armies to keep you safe; I’d even face torture at the hands of Thanos again if it meant I could keep you happy and safe. Now promise me you’ll still remember me and not do something so stupid ever again.”

“You were tortured?”

Loki rested his forehead against Tony’s.

“Of course that’s what you take from my words. Stop being so selfless, just for a moment…just be as selfish as you want. The nightmares will not be an issue anymore, I shall give you a potion that will stop your dreams. No more worrying about people betraying because I shall protect you but no more wiping your memories. It must have been so painful.”

“It didn’t hurt as much as having my heart ripped from my chest or destroyed.”

Loki held him tightly.

“Who did these things?”

“Doesn’t matter, one’s dead and the other is dead to me.”

Loki nodded before looking up at the shocked avengers. Thor had finally showed up as well.

“Brother, what are you doing with the man of iron.”

Tony gripped Loki tighter.

“He’s my boyfriend now back off thunderpants.” Tony said with some of the red glow returning.

“Darling, why are you growing warmer and suddenly very red?”

He looked up at Loki.

“Um…I perfected Extremis to help make sure I’d never be easily imprisoned out of the suit again? Kind of regretting it a bit since I had to modify the chair to successfully wipe me. Hurt like a bitch the second time around when the first time failed to wipe me.”

“You are a fool, what does this Extremis do and is it dangerous to you?”

“Nope, just to those who decide to fuck with me. It’s actually pretty cool, I’m really hard to kill now and I can grow back limbs.”

Loki frowned.

“Who removed a limb?”

“No one but I grew back the missing part of my chest where the arc reactor use to be. Super cool.”

Loki sighed.

“You are insane but I love you anyways. You will be staying here and you will consider going back to being a hero.” Tony opened his mouth to protest, “No, no arguing with me on this. I swear I won’t let anyone betray you again. These fools clearly missed you so behave and attempt to play nice with them like you do with Lady Karen.”

“That woman could fight off an entire gang of super soldiers I swear, I don’t play nice with her I just fear for my life.”

“So you two are dating?” Sam asked confused.

“Yes and if any of you complain I’m burning this entire place down.”

Loki flicked Tony on the nose in a playful manner.

“No threatening to burn things. I am a god of fire and refuse to accept burnt stupid mortals as an offering.”

“What if it just makes me feel better?”

“No my little Edwin.”

Tony grins.

“I like when you call me that.”

“That is because you are tiny and adorable.”

“Brother does this mean you’ve given up on your villainous ways?”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“No Thor, it means I’m finally happy and no longer have need to destroy to gain attention. However if any of your group hurts him again I will kill them.”

He picked up Tony who happily wrapped his arms and legs around him.

“Loki baby, I demand cuddles.”

“You shall get cuddles later, have you eaten today?”

“Depends, how long was I knocked out?”

“Tony.” Loki warned.

“Yes I ate breakfast and a snack for dinner. Don’t you mother hen me, I’ll bite your fingers off.”

Loki turned to Wanda who was watching them in silence.

“You will never use your powers on him again. Regardless of how strong you think you’re magic is mine is stronger.”

With that he walked away with the inventor still in his arms. No one questioned Tony dating Loki because they had no right to. They had thought something or someone had caused the memory loss in an attempt to take iron man away from the world. Now things made sense. The suits and all information regarding the arc reactor and armor had been destroyed. Even Natasha hadn’t guessed that it was because Tony had willingly left his life behind. Rhodey just glared at the others pissed off that they were responsible for his friend’s disappearance.