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“We’re all still here,” she whispered. “We’re still fighting, come on now.”
But, we weren’t all still here; fighting. Fred and George were gone, cut down in the prime of their lives, killed by an explosion defending the school they had loved so much; and the students who had loved them back. Remus and Tonks were dead - parents fighting for a better future, a future where their child would never know the fear of oppression. Instead Teddy would never have a future with Remus and his kind heart, or Tonks and her bright spirit... another orphan of a war that he was too young to understand. Cedric and Hedwig had fallen in a fight they shouldn’t have had any part of, both had been at the wrong place at the wrong time; by my side. Dobby and Luna, two of the purest people I knew, destroyed forever by love so twisted, it had turned to madness. Snape and Dumbledore, two men fighting for different sides of the same coin. One fought for peace and the other fought for justice, both died trying to bring an end to an evil they had battled for years. We had already lost so many - Sirius, Moody and my parents, all died fighting for a brighter future for me. Now, I was going to die too.
Luna's voice, one of many that played in my ear. “Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect” and as I walked on, surrounded by Remus, Sirius and my parents, I realized just how right she always was. Did I even stop to thank her for saving my life? For giving me a happy moment in the midst of all this destruction? Did I thank any of them enough? For keeping me safe, keeping me happy, keeping me loved? Is there a way to thank someone you love, for dying for you? Gripping the stone, my lifeline, tightly, I thought of all of those we had lost and I as I walked through the chill to my death their voices seemed to echo on the wind, surrounding me with words of encouragement and ghosts of happy memories past. Remus was right, it was quick. I dropped my cloak and I was dead.
Everything else was a blur. Carried by Hagrid's trembling arms I could hear the anguished cries of my friends. I watched the sorting hat prove once and for all the Neville was a true Gryffindor, as he pulled the sword from the hat and killed the last remaining Horcrux. I stifled a sob as I watched Kreacher leading the house elves into the fray, with a battle cry of “Fight the Dark Lord, in the name of brave Regulus!” I hoped that they would be kept safe, and a small tear dropped for Dobby. Darting through the halls, I saw students, shopkeepers, teachers and parents battling side by side. I watched one mother frantically searching for her only son and another battle for her family. It was a laugh that stopped me in my tracks, the same laugh that Sirius had and just as suddenly as Sirius died, Bellatrix's reign of terror ended forever. Voldemort's rage exploded and as I saw him raise his wand, I knew I couldn’t lose another mother. “PROTEGO!” I yelled, and hoped it would be enough to keep them safe.
It was time.
He and I stood face to face and I saw him for who he was, a shell of the boy he once was and I knew Tom Riddle would be no more. I finally did what I was marked by love to do, I ended Voldemort, killed by his own rebounding curse when the elder wand recognized its true master.
As I stood, surrounded by grief and the death of most of my remaining family, I couldn’t take it any longer. All I wanted was to sit with Remus and have him tell me things would be ok and to hear Fred and George finishing each other's sentences, trying to bring a bit of light to all the dark. But they were gone and I wasn’t sure if I would survive the pain. The attention was too much, too loud, too soon and as quickly as I could, I slipped on the cloak, found Hermione and Ron and went to speak to Dumbledore. After repairing my wand, giving a long and well deserved explanation to Ron and Hermione, and banishing the Elder Wand to where it belonged, we headed to the Common room. With Hermione casting a Imperturbable on the door, I was finally able to react. As Hermione held a sobbing Ron, I raged. I threw things for all the futures lost, I ripped the bed curtains down for all the things taken from us and most of all, I cried, for everything and everyone, I cried with my two best friends. Pure exhaustion forced me to the bed and as Hermione did her best repario on the room, I knew there was a lot more than a room that needed to be repaired. But those things would have to wait.
I woke this morning hoping yesterday was a dream, but the pain I felt proved it wasn't. As much as I wanted to sleep forever, important things had to be done. As Hermionie and I entered the infirmary we were bombarded with questions. But, there was only one person I was there to see. Mrs. Weasley had refused to leave Fred and George and out of respect, they were moved to a curtained off area until preparations could be made. I gently knocked on metal of the curtain before asking Mrs. Weasley if we could come in. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I needed to say something. "Mrs. Weasley" I began "Sorry doesn't seem like enough of a word. I wish I could have changed things, I wish I could take your pain." I knelt down beside her as I thanked her. Thanked her for her kindness towards me, her welcoming us into her home and most of all for her sacrifice. I had barely finished before she pulled me into a hug. "Oh, Harry! I am thankful you are ok. My boys have... had, always spoke highly of you and Ron has considered you a brother for years." she said as she squeezed my hand and with a nod to the corner, where for the first time I noticed Ron; asleep. He must have come down in the middle of the night. "Thank you for bringing him back safe. You've always been a friend to this family, you are a part of this family and will always have The Burrow to call home." I thanked her again as Hermionie and I felt. Walking through our destroyed halls, the damage our school had faced became too much to see.
After paying our respects and repairing Dumbledore's tomb, Hermione and I sat by the shores of the black lake, desperate to get as far away from the destruction as we could, but having no homes to go to. We were invited back to the burrow with Ron, but the Weasley’s grief was too raw, too personal for either of us to accept and there was no way I could face going back to Grimmauld Place with all of it’s memories. Ron had owled when he got home, keeping them up to date as much as he could on how he and the family were doing. and Ginny owled Hermione to check how I was doing. Not surprisingly, none of them were doing well.
“She saved my life, ya know? She stunned Carrow and gave me a chance to escape, she helped me find the Diadem. She deserved the best,” I said to no one in particular.
“I know she did Harry. They all deserved the best.” Hermione replied as she started to pace, lost in thought.
“I hope Neville is doing ok. I always thought they fancied each other.” Hermione finally spoke as she stared out at the lake.
“Not that great, he blames himself. He never thought that after everything that happened to her this year, that she would show up when he used the coin...but she did.” I told her, the grief taking hold once again. “Do you know what she said when he told her to go back? Friends. Friends was all she said as she ran off to fight. She should have been a Gryffindor,” I said.
“With the ridiculous lion head she wore to your game against Slytherin, she was as much a Gryffindor as anyone,” Hermione replied with a laugh. “What I wouldn’t give to hear her talk about Nargles and Wrackspurts again.”
“Were we good friends to her Hermione? Did we do enough to show her we cared? I keep thinking back to what she said on the train, about how D.A. was almost like having friends... Did we do enough to make up for all the indifference and teasing ‘Looney’ Luna went through?” I asked, knowing that no answer could quell my guilt that we should have done more.
“You saw her ceiling Harry, she was happy, she loved us and I hope that that was enough for her,” Hermione replied with a sad smile. “Actually, I had Professor McGonagall get me into Luna's room. You were sleeping, Ginny and Ron were gone and I needed to be with friends. Even though she wasn’t there, I could feel her energy all around her bed. Not her ghost, Harry,” Hermione said quickly to try to calm the panic that had spread over Harry's face. “Just who she was, that dreamy, peaceful personality she had. She was there in the colorful sheets she had charmed and the drawings of magical creatures she’d stuck to the curtains,” she said with a sad smile. “You know she had charmed her bed ceiling to look the same as her ceiling at home? I asked around and found Colins camera and I took a picture. I have copies ready, for all of us, when we want them,” she paused, as the tears that had gathered began to fall. “We lost so many Harry, how do we put the pieces back together after this? People aren’t like Hogwarts, where a lot of work and some Reparos will put us back whole!” She sobbed, crying in earnest now.
“We do the best we can, we grieve, we talk about them and we promise not to forget. That’s why this memorial is going to be hard, but we have to do it. We have to feel the things we feel and find a way to make the new future and our past coexist,” I said, holding her while she cried..
As I sat there with Hermione, both lost in our grief, I realized something. “I can’t go back to Grimmauld Place and until you figure out what you can do with your parents, our only option is the Burrow. Unless you’d like to get a flat with me until we can figure something else out. I have the money to cover the rent and such, I just can’t be alone right now.” I told her, hoping she’d understand.
“Of course Harry. I don’t think either of us would do well alone now and nobody but us could ever understand what we’ve been through.” Hermione answered, drying her tears. “I need you, just as much as you need me. Don’t ever forget that Harry. We’ve always been in this together and I don’t plan on letting you go it alone now.”
We fell into a comfortable silence and as the sun began to set, we knew it was time to head back and prepare for what tomorrow would bring. I had spoken to McGonagall, since she was now our Headmistress about setting up a memorial at the school for all those who were lost, and, if the rumors coming from Hogsmeade were to be believed, it would be a packed house.
Only Neville had remained behind in the dormitory and he hadn’t said a word against Hermione taking over Ron's bed while he was gone. Frankly,I think he was glad to have her there. With him and I both having a hard time sleeping at night, she was a calming presence who never judged, or begrudged being woken up to comfort either one of us, and tonight was going to be a night none of us would do well alone.
I knew that Neville had been working hard with Headmistress McGonagall on an acceptable memorial, but what I saw as I headed down towards the lake that morning was spectacular. Not that far from Dumbledore's Tomb was a wall of marble, which, when in the sunlight, sparkled with all the colours of the rainbow. As I stepped closer, I spotted Neville putting the finishing touches on some plants that lined the sides of the wall.
“Wiggentrees,” Neville explained noticing me staring at the trees. ”Bowtruckles live in them and they say anyone touching a Wiggentree trunk will be protected from Dark Creatures. And these are-”
“Wolfsbane,” I said. ”They are beautiful Neville, thank you.”
“ I figured they’d go nicely with the Moly, and they reminded me of Professor Lupin, he always was my favourite.” Neville sighed.
As I moved closer to get a look at the wall, I was amazed to see how many names were on it. I found Luna’s name, and was surprised to see the picture Hermione had taken of her bed canopy beneath it.
“I used ‘Praesidio Iaciebation’, a permanent, protective sticking charm. I thought she’d like having it here,” Hermione said laying her hand on Luna's name. a single tear fell, tracing the marks and scars still on her face.
As I looked over the names, I saw something that made my heart skip a beat.
‘I solemnly swear I am up to no good’
Beneath, were two columns of names, James Potter. Sirius Black. George Weasley. Fred Weasley. Remus Lupin.
There was an empty space next to Remus and space underneath, where I knew my own name as well as Hermione and Rons would someday be added. It was comforting to know that I, even just my name would someday be where I belonged. Together with my family. Underneath the columns was a simple, yet fitting.
‘Mischief Managed’.
Next to my father's name, in a separate column was my my mother, ‘Lily Potter’. Tonks Lupin was named under my mother but next to Remus and ‘Regulus Black’ was in a column on the other side, next to Sirius. Harry was happy to see Regulus get the recognition he deserved and finally be reunited with his brother and to see the Marauders together again, with Fred and George taking their place beside them.
There were many other names on the wall, some I recognized (Lavender Brown,Myrtle Warren, Marlene McKinnon, Colin Creevy, Alastor Moody, Cedric Diggory and Frank and Alice Longbottom). There were many I didn’t recognize, but I made a mental note to find out more about them.
“I figured it was ok to put my parents up there,” Neville said as he saw Harry run his fingers over their names. “They were war heroes and they’ll never recover. They deserved to be recognized with all the rest.” I couldn’t agree more.
One name I saw made me realize that Hermione had also had a hand in this. No one else would have cared to put ‘Severus Snape, Hogwarts Headmaster’ upon the wall, and I knew one day he’d have to explain some of what had happened, some of who Snape really was.
“Thank you Hermione, without you, he’d not have been added. I can’t thank you enough,” I told her.
“Well, even if I don’t truly understand what happened, I trust you Harry,” Hermione replied. “I also thought there was one other that deserved to be here.” Hermione pointed to the far corner of the wall. There, perched on the top of the wall, looking as beautiful as always, was a lifesize bust of Hedwig.
The tears that I’d held back all morning started to well. As I threw his arms around her, I whispered, “thank you. You really are the best friend I’ve ever had, and I’m so grateful your name isn’t up there.”
Hermione reassuringly rubbed his back. “I know Harry, me too.” she said, and she meant that. Harry had been her first and best friend and the moment that she saw him dead in Hagrids arms would haunt her forever.
The last name he saw brought him to his knees.
‘Dobby.A free elf.’
The tears I had fought all morning began to fall. I cried for his parents and my friends. I cried for the innocent and the heroes. I cried for all that had been lost.
As I rose to my feet and turned towards the lake, I noticed four benches made of the same marble forming a half circle around the wall. Looking closer, I saw that each bench had the Hogwarts crest carved into the sides, and each had a quote carved into the top. Walking to each bench, I saw each quote was different.
“We’ve all got light and dark in us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” - Sirius Black
“It matters not what someone was born, but who we grow to be.” - Headmaster Albus Dumbledore
“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but just as much to stand up to your friends.” - Headmaster Albus Dumbledore
“It is the quality of one’s convictions that determines success, not the number of one's followers.” - Professor Remus Lupin
“Hermione, how did you do this? It’s amazing!” I said in awe.
“Well, it’s easy when you’re always listening. Plus, you’ve been talking in your sleep these last few days. Your mind has an intriguing way of processing all of this,” Hermione said with a smile. “I just wanted you to have a moment to see it all without everyone staring at you. But come on now, let’s go eat before it starts.”
“Neville, thank you very much. Wait for us, the Headmistress and I will help with the rest of the chairs. I think we will have a lot of people here today and I don’t want you doing it all alone.” Hermione said as hugged him. “And don’t forget to come eat.”
“I’m ok, really. It helps to keep my hands busy, it keeps my mind from thinking too much,” Neville replied with a smile as Hermione and Harry walked towards the castle.
The rumours were true- nearly two hundred people had come to the memorial. There was a sea of Gryffindor quidditch jerseys; it looked like everyone Fred and George had ever played with had shown up to say goodbye. The quiet noise came to a halt as Headmistress McGonagall took her place and began to speak.
“As you will see, there are no death dates on this monument. As a great man once said, ‘the ones we love never truly leave us,’ and that was shown by the bravery that has taken place here recently. We all fought valiantly for something or someone we have lost, be it friends, family or freedom.”
“He also said that ‘we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.’ A home can not stand strong with a broken foundation and Hogwarts is our home. Our home was broken, but we can not let our home be destroyed by these acts of hate. Hogwarts will be rebuilt- not just our walls, but our way of life. Hogwarts will always be home to those that need it. Current students and former students, there will always be a place for you here.”
“I have spoken to the Headmasters and consulted the Sorting Hat and we have decided that to foster a better sense of unity ,changes must be made. Therefore, next years First Years will not be sorted at the start of term.We will be constructing communal dorms for all first years. We hope that this gives students a chance to foster friendships that they otherwise my not have made. We will also be starting a mentoring programs with some of our upperclassmen from each house, in order to guide and give our new students an opportunity to flourish.” Despite the murmurs from the crowd and their look of shock, she continued on.
“It is not just the new students that we believe need an opportunity to foster new friendships. We will be adding several common rooms throughout the school that are open to any and all students and teachers.” Hermione must have spoken to her, I thought. This is something she’s been wanting to do for years.
”Dumbledore has left also Hogwarts a wonderful gift, that was to be announced at the end of the war. He had purchased a large building of flat, just outside of Diagon Alley that will be available to any student in need.” she continued on and I noticed looks of relief on many of the visitors.
“Hogwarts will always be our home, and as such we are a family. Though some of us are no longer with us they will be a part of who we are, and will be,” she finished and with a swirl of her wand, a silvery substance settled along the top of the memorial, revealing the words ‘until the very end.’
As the Headmistress took her seat, Percy walked between the benches to address the crowd. I was finding it hard to concentrate on what Percy was saying. As I watched Arthur try to comfort his wife, I noticed how much the last few days had aged them. Mr. Weasley, whose kindness and warmth usually radiated from him, seemed broken. His eyes bruised, scratches still visible on his face, looked empty, a broken man. Mrs. Weasley, she was the picture of grief. I caught Ron’s eyes and tried to tell him how sorry I was. It was just as I caught Ginny’s eye that something Percy said caught his attention.
“We will be re-opening Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. As you all know, my brothers were the best at making people laugh. And I and my parents agree that what we need now is laughter. I will be running the joke shop as long as I can. I’ve never been as funny or as well liked as my brothers, but truly I don’t think anyone was. I always found it amusing that a set of twins could together be a one of a kind person.” Percy, with a sad smile on his face, walked to his Mother and hugged her, not just for him, but for his brothers also. He hoped that the love he put into it was enough for all three of them.
It wasn’t until he heard her voice that Harry saw Ginny. Her eyes glistening with tears. She looked strong, she looked determined and she looked beautiful.
“When you live with Fred and George,” Ginny started, with a laugh. “You start to believe that anything is possible. We have a lot of impossible to do. And even though it may feel like we will never be happy again, we have to. We couldn’t have gotten through the darkness without the light, the laughter and joy that my brothers brought to help balance the dark. They were jokesters but also friends to everyone. They were kind, funny, and loyal, and there will never be a day I won’t miss them.”
“I’d also like to talk about my friend Luna. Luna was one of a kind and without her in it, the world isn’t as shiny and bright. Luna always made the best out of a bad situation, she always saw the silver lining, she was always kind. Luna was my friend- what I wouldn’t give to have another conversations about Wrackspurts or Nargles!- she was fun and she was wise. I’m sorry that most of you couldn’t see that and missed out on her joy.” As Ginny returned to her seat she hugged Neville, who was walking to the front.
The fighting had changed him. Where once was a shy boy now stood a brave man, with his head lifted high he radiated a confidence none of us would have believed of him a week ago, he began to speak.
“Luna was my best friend. We understood each other and I will miss her so much. Luna was as brave as a Gryffindor and as wise as a Ravenclaw. She was brilliant. Some of what you learned protect yourself in this battle was learned from her. She was kind, she never judged, she never treated any of us as anything but equals… even most of you,” Neville said, with a stern look over at her housemates, none of whom appeared to be wanting to look his way.
With a quick reassuring squeeze of my hand, Hermione let me know it was time for me to talk. As I walked to the monument, I took a minute to place my hand on the Marauder's names and brace myself. I knew most people weren’t going to like the things I had to say.
“Luna was a lot of things. She was generous, forgiving, caring and true to who she was- one thing she was not ‘looney’. Many of you weren’t the kindest to her, but it never stopped her from being who she was. She saved my life and, with that, saved a lot of you also. She didn’t have to be here, everyone would have understood her staying out of the fight with everything that happened to her. Would you like to know what her last words were? ‘Friends’. Friends is why she did the brave and wonderful things she did. To her, friends were something worth fighting for…”
“We all have something worth fighting for and Luna wasn’t the only person who died for what they believe in…” I looked over the audience, stealing myself for what I knew needed to be said next.
“Severus Snape was not who you all thought he was. He was brave. He worked for years to help Dumbledore fight the evil that was coming. An evil he looked in the eyes and fooled time and time again. He was instrumental in my having a chance to end that evil once and for all. He was a man with his own battles to fight. But, he was Dumbledore’s man until his very last breath. He deserves our respect and he deserves to be recognized on this wall.” I didn’t wait to hear the responses, I didn’t stick around for the rest of the memorial to hear them speak for Lupin and Tonks and the rest of the people we lost. I didn’t need to. What I needed was to be alone.
The next week passed in a blur. The older students who stayed after the memorial spent their time helping to repair the school. Hermione helped Headmistress McGonagall plan the logistics of next September’s first years and design their common rooms. I split my time between fixing the school and hiding from the world.
As soon as we could, Hermione and I took possession of the first flat in the building aptly named ‘Lupin Commons’. When Ron was confident that his parents would be alright, he joined us. Ginny followed after her seventh year, but could be found there most weekends prior to leaving school.
We all had something that we had to keep fighting for, Ron fought for the health of his family, Neville fought to overcome his guilt, Hermione fought for better treatment for all, and I just fought to keep going. We all tried to keep busy and between our jobs, we could be found helping Percy in the joke shop, spending time with Teddy and pouring over Fred and George’s notes of future products. With that the first few years after the war passed quickly. Hermione and Ron were the first to leave, ready to start their family. Ginny and I had children not very long after. Life had moved forward, hard earned happiness followed and all was well… because people were brave enough to keep fighting.