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2017-04-21
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Blue Team || Red vs Blue || GN!Reader

Summary:

I dunno what to put here besides saying y'all just hang around

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A bored sigh left you as you watched Church and Caboose converse with each other. And by 'converse' you actually meant 'Caboose annoying Church so much that he might end up killing him'. Still, one was talking and one was listening - probably - so it was basically a conversation.

You three were atop the base, watching the baby blue soldier watch the reds through his sniper. "He's not even holding it right." You muttered to yourself as you went over to the edge of the base and sat down, your legs dangling. You leaned backwards on your hands as you rocked your legs one by one back and forth. When one foot would go back and hit the metal wall it'd make a 'clink' noise that echoed before disappearing a second later. The cycle repeated itself for a while until you heard Church groan in frustration.

You turned your head in his direction and saw him clutching his rifle in a death grip, obviously getting more and more irritated with Cabooses constant babble while the other male didn't take notice.

A gentle laugh emitted from your throat as you watched them interact. It's been like this ever since you came to this deserted canyon. Well, it's not really deserted since the red base was across from yours but, besides that, it was basically a wasteland.

You decided that your leader earned enough suffering for the moment so you patted the spot beside you and spoke, "Hey, Caboose, can you come help me? I'm thinking of ways to make orange juice cookies and I need advice."

The dark blue male was quick to turn over to you and you could feel the excitement radiate off of him. He walked over to you and sat down with his gaze never leaving yours. His armored body was leaning close to your own so much that the tip of your helmets touched. Obviously, you thought nothing of it since this was Caboose. The guy had no idea what personal space was.

While you tried to politely lean away from your teammate, Church let out a sigh of relief. God, finally, Caboose is leaving him alone. Sure he might be bothering you now but it's a risk he's willing to take. Or, took. Actually it wasn't really a risk at all but as long as Caboose is away from him. Maybe you talking to Caboose was a risk? A risk to what? Getting his stupidity?...That doesn't make any sense...

Church decided to ignore his own thoughts and go back to spying on the red base. He raised his sniper rifle, the scope going in front of the left side of his helmet, and watched as the reds did nothing but talk. Well, he assumed they were talking since all they were doing was bobbing their heads up and down. Wait, who even talks like that? Why do they need to make full head motions when they speak? Are they trying to get their emotions across or some shit? Ugh, whatever, maybe they're just infected with some stupid ass virus that makes them do stuff weirdly.

Church stopped for a moment before putting a hand onto his visor, the motion looking like he was trying to pinch the bridge of his nose, "Maybe I'm infected with something that gives me stupid thoughts." He mumbled to himself.

Soon, Tucker came up from behind the baby blue male and spoke in an unsure tone. "Uh, hey, Church," He started, his head turning back to look towards the ramp he used to get atop the base before gazing over to his leader, "(L/N) and Caboose are in the kitchen and they look like they're gonna burn the kitchen down." He put his hands up in defense, a chuckle leaving him, "Now normally I'd join them because, lets face it, (L/N) is hot and I'd love to "cook" with them but they said something about 'orange juice cookies'?"

Church turned over to look at where you and Caboose once were and felt dread wash over him when he couldn't find either of you. He quickly turned to Tucker and made a dash to get inside the base, yelling a simple, "Help me stop them!"

As both of the light blue soldiers entered the kitchen they were surprised to have found nothing wrong. Nothing was on fire, nor burned, so that was a good thing. It all looked tidy as if neither you or Caboose entered the place. This left Tucker confused as he stood in the middle of the small culinary area, his arms spread out, "They were just here! Caboose was taking flour out an-" He was cut off by said male walking over to him and Church, seeming chipper as always.

"Hey guys!" Caboose said as he stood next to his best-friend, "Me and my second best-friend were planning on making sweets for you all but then it turned out that neither of us knew how to bake so they went out." Was his explanation.

Church felt his eyebrow twitch as he fully faced the dark blue one, his voice sounding annoyed, "Where did they go?"

Tucker, who was now standing in front of them both, put two fingers up, "There's only two places in this damn canyon. Where the hell can they go? Red base?" He paused his movement as he stared at Church, the other male staring back, before his and fell to his side. "You have got to be kidding me." The ladies man said in a defeated tone, "Church, we're gonna have to try and get them back. Any ideas?"

Caboose looked to be in thought since he placed his right hand under his chin and made a 'hmm' sound. It was clear that he wasn't going to speak up anytime soon so Church and Tucker decided to make a plan on their own.

"I say we go up to the red base and use Caboose as an offering." Was Tucker's brilliant idea. "They can basically do anything to that guy and he'd think it's a game of some sort." Tucker glanced over to his darker companion who was scratching at the top of his helmet, mumbling incoherent words to himself. Church shook his head, putting his sniper rifle onto his back as he grabbed his DMR, "No, that'll never work. Plus, (L/N) would get pissed if we just gave him up. Why don't we just go over there, take them back, then leave? I doubt the Red's would try and stop us and it's less trouble."

Tucker let out a bored sigh as he nodded his head in agreement, "Alright, yeah, but my ideas better."

After both males got their guns ready they made their way to the exit. Church was the first to stop and look behind him towards the confused third party member. "Caboose, lets go. If you don't come with us then you're being left behind." It wasn't really a hardcore threat but he knew that Caboose would never want to be left by his so-called 'best-friend'.

Although the journey was a short one it felt like days had passed. Why? Because Caboose would shut up. Every time he'd start a story he'd trail off before starting over again - on a different story! Church was ready to yell at the child-like soldier until he noticed that they were in front of the red's base. "Hey reds!" He yelled out then waited for a response. When he got none he couldn't help but groan and call out to his perverse friend. "God damnit. Alright, Tucker, you come with me. I guess we'll have to take them back by force." He said as he and his companion set out to enter the base. "Caboose, you stay out here in case (L/N) finds a way out." Were his final words before he disappeared into the base.

Caboose fidgeted nervously with his gun as his head came up with bad scenarios. Were the reds torturing you by promising cookies then giving none?! That's so cruel! Maybe they were telling you ghost stories to get you scared and then when nighttime came they weren't even going to let you use a nightlight to sleep!

Caboose stood there for a moment or two as his mind lingered on his horrifying thoughts. It wasn't long when he realized that everyone was gone. "Where did everybody go?" He questioned as he looked around. When he found no one he turned around and made his way back to the base, "Maybe they went home."

Meanwhile, Church and Tucker held their guns up, ready to fire when needed. They were quick to hear arguing coming from a room just right of the entrance. Church turned to look at his partner and made a motion with his head that said "get going".

Heaving a sigh, Tucker took lead and made his way over to the room.

With his rifle drawn and his finger ready to pull the trigger - not like he'd actually do it - he made a quick turn and pointed at the first thing he saw.

Which was you.

Church came up from behind and also pointed his gun, his sight on the other person who was in the room with you.

Which was Donut.

Both you and the pink male turned towards your teammates in wonder and curiousity until Donut clamped his hands together in excitement, "Hey guys!" He said with a slight tilt to his head. He was quick to realize the gun being pointed at you and hurriedly stood in front of your being, his arms spread out, "Hey, now, no friendly-fire!"

If Church had his helmet off you knew he'd be rolling his eyes due to how many time Caboose would accidentally shoot your leader. You're surprised he even survived all the mishap that happened to him.

Tucker lowered his gun when he recognized who he was aiming at and let out a nervous laugh, "Sorry about that. We had to be cautious since, y'know, this is the red base."

You pointed an accusing finger at him, sounding ticked off, "Why did you have to come barging in! Me and Donut were having a reasonable argument and I was about to rip him to shreds!" You crossed your arms as you turned to look over towards your opponent. Donut let out a dry laugh before he pointed at his armor, "Lightish. Red." He spoke sternly with a hint of amusement. He knew you weren't truly arguing with him, and you knew he was the same. You both just like to push each other's buttons.

A "pfft" left your mouth as you placed your hands on your hips, your head tilted a bit upwards and to the side, trying to give off an "oh really?" vibe. "Listen to me, Donut, I know what pink looks like and what you're wearing is pink. If it was lightish red then it would still have a red tint to it!"

Before Donut could counter your argument Church stepped up, his voice holding irritation, "Okay, first of all; shut up. Secondly; what the hell is going on here?!" He turned to look at you, "You should be back at the base watching over Caboose! Why are you over here and arguing with Donut as to what color his damn armor is?!" He then turned towards the other participant, "And you! Why is it so hard to admit that your armor is pink?! There's nothing wrong with it! It's a color! Everything's a color! Get over it!"

As Church tried to calm down from his high you glanced over to Tucker, then to Donut. Their body language showed that they were just as confused as you felt at his sudden outburst. You walked over to the raging male and put a hand on his shoulder, "Uh, Church?" You started, earning a groan in response to signal he was listening, "You know I came over here to steal some of Grif's snacks for Caboose? Well, as I was trying to find them I ran into Donut." You gestured to the male, "When we're together we try to mess with each other- getting the other riled up for no reason." A laugh left you as you removed your hand from Church and made your way over to Donut, placing an arm around his shoulders, "So, as usual, I started the argument about what color his armor is."

After your explanation Donut piped up, his shoulders risen as you could basically feel the smile he had, "And can I just say that my armor is definitely lightish-red? There's no way it's pink. It's so obvious!"

Tucker turned towards his leader, "Dude you just exploded for no reason in front of one of the only hot people here. How do you feel?"

Church flipped him off in response as he could feel himself getting mildly embarrassed. "Whatever, man. (L/N) just get what you need so we can get back. Caboose is waiting for us outside too and we shouldn't keep him waiting."

Tucker let out an amused "nice" as he watched Church leave the room and, presumably, the base. He glanced back over to you as he shook his head until he made a motion with his hand for you to follow him, "C'mon, babe, we need to make sure he doesn't kill Caboose."

After you parted ways with Donut you followed Tucker outside the base. You both saw Church gazing at his gun, his body seeming tense, before he let out a deep sigh. "You know what? I don't even know why I expected him to still be here." Was all he said while he made his way over to the blue base.

You patted Tucker on the back as you followed suit, "Alright, lover-boy, c'mon," You chuckled as you repeated his words, "We need to make sure he doesn't kill Caboose."

With Tucker by your side and Church in front of you, you couldn't help but forget why you went over to the red base in the first place. You always had a bit of bad memory so your goal slipping your mind didn't surprise you. You mentally shrugged your shoulders as you strolled back to your temporary home. You'll remember sooner or later.

-EXTENDED-

When you three made it back to the base Caboose jumped at you, hands on your shoulders as he looked ready to explode from excitement, "Did you get it?!" He asked while he shook you. Your face turned into puzzlement as you wondered what he meant, "Uh...get what, exactly?" Your tone showed the emotion that was hidden behind your visor while Caboose let out a gasp, his motions stopping as he bumped helmets with you, "You forgot the cookies?" He asked softly.

Realization struck you as you moved away from him and towards the bases' entrance, "Sorry Caboose, I forgot! I'll go get them!"

Before you could make it to the exit, Church stood in front of you. His arms were crossed before he pointed back into the base, "No. You're staying here. Watching Caboose."

You slouched over for a moment in defeat but perked up when your best-friend grabbed onto your arm. "Yay! Let's go make things!" He cheered while he dragged you into the kitchen.

Tucker walked up next to Church, a hidden smirk on his lips, "You do know that they're gonna burn the kitchen down, right?"

Church gazed over to his friend for what seemed like eternity until he ran towards the kitchen, yelling, "Don't you two dare do anything!"