Chapter Text
“I’m what?”
“Fired.” Oliver grabbed an unused spoon and whacked her backside with it. “Your work has deteriorated―”
“Deteriorated?”
“Mrs. Queen.” He let out a dramatic sigh. “I gave you one job in here, and that was to stir the caramel so it didn’t burn.”
“And it didn’t. Oh.”
“Yes, oh. Now get the ingredients out again and I’ll make it again.”
“You dramatic human being.” She puckered her lips and stared at the burnt mixture in the pan. “Sorry. But it’s your fault, because you distracted me. Plus, you probably shouldn’t have asked me to help cook, because this is exactly what happens when I even step into the kitchen.”
“Well, my normal helper is unavailable at the moment, and,” his arm slid protectively around her back to draw her closer to him, “it is our anniversary, and for the second year in a row, we can’t do anything, so I figured we might as well cook together.”
Felicity glanced at the burnt caramel. “Let’s be happy that that isn’t a representation of our marriage.”
He chuckled and buried his face in her neck to give her kisses. They didn’t always get moments like this. They should―it wasn’t like there was anything else to do―but their six kids got in the way. Apparently making out in the kitchen was frowned upon. But today, Ellie had taken the kids to the little town and told them they had a few hours to themselves. Plus, three hours was all Oliver would let them out of his sight.
“What could they possibly be doing?”
“The kids?” Felicity shrugged and continued to steal kisses from Oliver. “Maybe they went to visit Adam and Martha.”
“They’re gone on vacation.”
“Okay, well, maybe they just went to the park.” Which was impossible because this town was too tiny to have a park. The reason why they chose this place. Felicity let out a sigh. “Honey, you can’t worry about them. I’m sure they’re just wandering around waiting for three hours to be up. Oliver…” time to use her warning voice. “They wanted to give us some time to ourselves. Ellie practically told us to make out. And the only thing we’ve done is burn desert.”
He let go of her and leaned back against the counter. Her eyes wandered down to the veins in his arms as he crossed them. Not what she should be focusing on right now, but it was their anniversary. She could ogle her husband while they had an intense discussion, thank you very much. “We went over this last year. And at Christmas.”
“And at New Years.”
“I can’t be all there unless I know where everybody is and I know that they’re safe.”
“But they are safe, Oliver. We are in the tiniest place in France where nobody ever visits, and two people have a TV. Two of the kids have guns. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Still.”
This was a fight she wouldn’t be winning. It’d only been two years of marriage, but she’d learned to pick her battles, and right now, this wasn’t one she wanted to have. Felicity turned towards the stove and grabbed the pot. “Maybe we should try something other than caramel. Maybe peppermint sauce? I like mint, because it’s very…minty.”
“Felicity, you haven’t gotten any less obvious about anything.”
“We leave you guys for three hours and this is what we come home to?”
Oliver’s taught shoulders relaxed when Ellie pushed open the screen door, the rest of the kids behind her. “Hi guys. And no, we are not fighting.”
“Good, because,” she and William set two paper bags filled with food on the table. “We’re taking matters into our own hands tonight. You two need to go out of the house for a while, because we’re making you an anniversary dinner. We didn’t get to do it last year because we weren’t settled in enough, but now we can. So get out.”
Felicity glanced at Oliver, who shrugged. “This wasn’t what we were expecting you to do when you said you wanted to give us some time alone.”
“Because of our circumstances, you can’t go on a trip, and the only restaurant in thirty miles has cockroaches in their food. Thankfully, the grocery store has plenty of options so scoot.” Ellie pointed at the door. “Go take the horses out or something. Be back at six.”
“Good enough for me.” Oliver grabbed Felicity’s hand. Before they stepped out to the porch, he turned back and smiled. “Thank you.” She echoed the words, and then slid her boots on. Because, yes, that was their life now. Gone were the days of fancy dresses and parties. Instead, they wore cowboy boots and muddy jeans. The rooster they inherited with the farm woke them up at five thirty, even on Christmas.
Despite all that, no one complained―for the most part―because everyone knew what would have happened two years ago if they didn’t come here. Though the goats needed to die.
“How about a walk, instead of horses?”
“As long as I’m with you.”
“Sweet, but you aren’t the one who interrupted our kissing episode with worrying.”
“My mom always told me the first step in changing is identifying and admitting the problem.” When he didn’t laugh, she tapped his arm. “Okay, sorry. That was uncalled for. But it’s kind of true. Though we’ve talked about this a ridiculous amount of times, and there’s been no change.” In fact, she thought the nerves had gotten worse as time progressed. Oliver couldn’t accept that they might be safe, and the longer they were, the more on edge he got. “It’s okay, honey. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m going to eventually worry myself sick.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because two years ago I promised John that I would keep your head on straight, and so far I’ve succeeded.” She looped her arm around his waist and leaned against him as they headed towards the sinking sun. “It’s going to be okay.”
“We can’t even celebrate our anniversary the way most couples get to.”
“Oliver.”
He stopped and turned towards her, his eyes bright. Felicity got up on tiptoes and kissed him. It was quick, and more of a we’re-dating-but-Daddy-said-I-can’t-really-kiss-you-yet kiss but it told him everything he needed to know. And since he couldn’t always pick up the obvious, she looped her arms around his neck and smiled. “Oliver, we could be in the Arctic and I’d be happy. It’s sappy as all get up, but as long as we’re together, I’m going to be happy. I promise.”
It stuttered for a split second, but he smiled and let his forehead fall against hers. “How did I ever find you?”
“Technically I volunteered.”
Oliver chuckled and steered her towards the fields they now owned. “Let’s take full advantage of this time, and it doesn’t need to involve pep talks.”
“I don’t know…I enjoy giving you pep talks.” She also enjoyed everything that sometimes came after that, but right now that wasn’t on their minds. They needed this time to talk. Make some plans. Maybe goals. Though it was practically impossible to make goals, not when they had no idea where they could be in a year. No one did, but they didn’t know…more. Felicity intertwined their fingers and looked up at him, trusting him to steer her clear of cow and horse poop. “It’s hard to believe it’s been two years already. Three counting the year we didn’t like each other.”
“I liked you.”
“You bought me an entire wardrobe of clothes because mine weren’t sexy enough.”
“Isn’t that proof that I probably liked you?”
“No, it proves you were trying to spite me.”
“Either way, it didn’t take too long for me to realize how much I loved you.” He kissed her temple which brought them to a stop. Felicity fell against him and let him swallow her up with his love. She loved moments like this. They had an uncommon partnership; he was the ex-assassin and she was the hacker. Despite the scary descriptions, they managed to love each other and their kids. Occasionally, the assassin got to be a sappy husband who couldn’t believe he’d made it this far.
And sometimes she got to be the doting wife who definitely couldn’t believe it she’d made it this far.
At five thirty, they made their way back. Harper met them at the door and told them to go change into something fancier. Felicity raised her eyebrows. “Honey, we don’t really have anything fancier.”
“We got it handled. Well, for you anyway. But you said you like Daddy better shirtless so…”
Oliver coughed.
Felicity pursed her lips to hide a grin and gave Harper a kiss. “Thank you, dear. I’m going to tell Daddy to put on a shirt, though. It’ll be better for all of our sakes.” With that, she took Oliver’s hand and led him up to their bedroom. She let out a laugh and picked up the dress that lay on the bed. “Wow. Where on earth did they find this?”
“So that’s what they were doing.”
“Doing what?”
Oliver took a seat on the chair and pulled off his boots. “A few days ago, they went over to Martha’s house and came home with a big bag. That must’ve been one of her dresses or something.”
“It’s even got gloves!” She squealed, and then giggled. “They really went all out. Does that mean I get to see you in some fancy twentieth century suit?” A girl could dream, right?
“Absolutely not.” He stood up and walked to their closet. “But as you said,” his shirt came off, revealing the six-pack that still made her swoon. “You prefer me shirtless. Get that dress on, sweetheart.”
She pulled off her clothes and stepped into the pink satin dress that stayed up thanks to a black fluffy band around her shoulder. Black spider webs encased the top half, and gloves topped it off. Good thing she braved the cold water this morning and showered, because this dress―this night―deserved perfect. Her eyes wandered to Oliver who leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, a smile across his face. He’d come so far since she met him, and every day he became a better man, making her fall even deeper in love with him. “Ready to go?”
“Yep. And I gotta say, that looks beautiful on you.”
“Looks like Barry time travelled us back to the 1930s.” She followed him downstairs to the kitchen where all six kids stood, smiling. Annie stepped up to them and did a curtsy.
“It’s a really nice night, so you’re gonna have dinner on the porch. Right this way.”
Felicity let out a long breath when she stepped outside. “Aww, Annie this is perfect.” She looked back at the rest of them. “This is all so perfect. Thank you.”
Ellie shrugged. “We’re in a really odd situation that keeps us from doing a lot of things, but we wanted you to have one special night because you certainly deserve it. There’s dinner, and dessert’s in the fridge. We’re gonna go have a party in the hayloft for the night so you have the entire house to yourselves.” She winked. Oliver coughed again, but stepped forward to give her a hug.
“Thank you, guys. This means a lot.”
“So that means goodnight!” Annie gave them each kisses before running off to the barn, likely thrilled with the idea of spending the night with her horse. After they each said goodnight, Oliver helped Felicity sit down and then took a seat himself.
“It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost two years.” Oliver kept his eyes pinned on the barn for a few more seconds. “Seems like it’s been more traumatic for us than it has been for the kids. At least the little ones. Has Annie told us about any nightmares lately?”
To keep the positive Oliver going, Felicity shook her head. “There’s been a lot less, that’s for sure.” Though Harper told her this morning that Annie had woken up crying two nights in a row. But it was a lot less than two years ago, and only once and a while did she run into their room at night.
They’d all been slowly healing, one day at a time.
When Oliver started eating, Felicity stopped and just watched him. Stupid, but sometimes, when he wasn’t paying attention, she would look at him and thank God for the miracles He’d given the Queens. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She would be here with the kids, and he would be in Russia, killing people. They’d been given a miracle―many of them―and she took every chance to be thankful for it. And to just stare at the man who was her husband.
“Felicity, this is me noticing you staring at me.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
One eyebrow shot up. “And why were you looking at me like that?”
“Because I’m so happy you’re here with me. With us. And I don’t remember if we’ve talked about it before, but sometimes I have nightmares about you not making it to the jet, and it’s just…it makes me happier that you’re here.”
“And did you have one last night?”
She nodded.
Oliver sighed and set his fork down. “I know you already know this, but I have them too sometimes. Back in the day, it was Annie dying and all that, but now it’s the idea of not making it out. And there’s a lot about Russia. But you already know all of that.” A smirk tinged his lips. She giggled. It only took a few weeks of sleeping with him to discover the nightmares about Russia happened when he spoke Russian in his sleep.
It was just one of the things she discovered.
Oliver thought otherwise, but he stole all the covers if she didn’t have a grip on them.
If he slept on his stomach, he snored like a freight train.
And he hit back if she whacked him when he did.
They made small-talk during dinner, sharing random ideas about how they should further expand their farm. It still felt weird to think or say. The Queens. Owned a farm. And they did the work, not servants. Contrary to what people probably would think about it, they had fun doing it. It helped to have someone who could snap a chicken’s neck without remorse.
After dessert, Felicity wiggled her eyebrows at her husband. “Hey, honey?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m ready for dessert now.”
“Say no more.” He hopped up and opened the screen door for her. She had to lift up her skirts to get up the step without ripping anything. When the door slammed shut behind them, he scooped her into his arms.
“Oliver!” She squealed and put her arm out to grab the wall in case they fell. “What are you doing? I can walk.”
“You are my wife, Felicity Smoak. Which means that I get to carry my bride up to bed every now and then. While I still can.” He climbed the stairs with ease and stepped into their room. They fell onto the bed together, which elicited laughs from both of them. Felicity stood up to shed her dress and then dropped down next to Oliver again. They looked at each other for a few moments, just drawing in every part of the other.
“I know we’ve been given a lot of miracles, but…” Oliver’s fingers wandered through her hair, then to her neck. “You are the best miracle I ever got.”
She didn’t see a need to respond verbally.
*******
The past two years had been a slow healing process for all of them, but none more than they had been for him. Nightmares still woke him up, and every now and then, a few of the kids knocked on the door to ask if he was okay. But unlike the five years when he would wake up to an empty bed, Felicity would wrap her arms around him and calm him down. Some nights they didn’t happen, but when they did, he cuddled up to his wife and thanked God for the thousandth time for her.
Oliver woke up at five in the morning when Felicity got up to go to the bathroom. At least they had a toilet. And a sink, though the house didn’t have hot water. He closed his eyes and floated back to sleep, but when Felicity got back, she collapsed down sideways, ending his night sleep. He kissed her forehead and slipped out of the house. Thanks to the animals and there tendency to wander, he had a five-mile loop to run. It gave him time to think, and to make plans. No one knew about them, not even Felicity, but he needed to have options if the Bratva attacked.
When he came back to the house, Felicity and Annie sat on the rocker, a blanket wrapped around their shoulders and a book on their lap. His wife smiled up at him and offered him a kiss. A long time ago, she confirmed that she didn’t mind the sweat, so he gave her a peck on the lips and then kissed Annie’s hair. “How are my ladies this morning?”
“Mama and I are reading about Laura’s mom again.” Annie cuddled back against Felicity and patted the bench next to them. “You can listen too if you want. You’re not that sweaty today.”
“I don’t see why not. But I want some of that blanket.” He dropped down to the chair and pulled Annie onto his lap. “Where are you in the story?” They’d found thirty of the Laura Ingalls books along the way at a second-hand store, which led to Oliver backpacking them across France because he couldn’t say no to the tear-filled eyes of his daughters. They read them so much that it took a quick glance at the pages to see where they were.
Annie dropped her head back against his chest and looked up at him. “Hey, since you’re a guy, you can read the parts when Charles is speaking and Mama can read when Caroline is. Okay?”
Felicity scooted closer to him and put the book between them. “Alrighty. I’ll do the other parts. But in a little bit, we need to have breakfast and milk the cows.” Oliver hid his chuckle. The idea of milking cows still sounded foreign to him. Everyone else seemed to be figuring out how to be a farming family, but he still struggled at times. Firing arrows from two hundred yards away came easy to him, but trying to milk a cow? Round up a bunch of chickens that hated him? That wasn’t his forte.
Ellie exited the barn and trotted to the house. “Morning, guys. Did you have a nice night?”
“It was awesome. Thanks, sweetie.” Oliver gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Did you have fun out there?”
“The only issue we had was the mouse in the hayloft, but William killed it.”
Felicity looked up from the book. “He…killed it?”
“A sword can do a lot of things.”
That wasn’t what he needed to hear this morning. “He really used a sword?”
“Uh huh.” William came around the corner, a grin on his face. “The lessons you gave us in using weapons really came in handy, because then we were all able to sleep.”
“Okay, kiddos.” Felicity shut the book and stood up. “With that, I think it’s time we start the day. Two chapters is enough for now, so don’t pout, Annie. Who wants to milk the cows this morning?”
“I do!” Annie raised her hand. “Daddy can help me.”
“Daddy can’t really milk cows.” Ellie shot him a disapproving look. “You might want someone else to help you.”
“I can milk. I’m just slow.” Oliver set Annie on her feet and turned to go inside. “You go get everything we need and I’ll meet you out there. I need to get a jacket.” Felicity followed him up their bedroom. He went to their closet and waited for the thump on the bed. It came, and then a loud groan erupted a few feet from him.
“He killed a mouse with a sword.”
“That’s what he confirmed.” Oliver peeked out of the closet at his wife, who lay sprawled on the bed, her eyes closed. “Speaking of, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I had to pee five times last night which was ishy, and then I woke up and you weren’t there so I couldn’t fall back to sleep.”
As he pulled a sweatshirt on, he chuckled. “Honey, that wasn’t my fault. You ended up lying straight across the bed. You can sleep some more if you want.”
“I’m worried.”
“Worried about what?”
“The kids.”
So much for blabbering Felicity. Oliver took a seat on the edge of the bed and tapped her nose. “You’re gonna have to more specific.”
“William killed a mouse with a sword. That we have to have. And I know we decided on that, but still. It’s in our barn, and our son used it to kill a little tiny mouse. First of all, who has the courage to do that, and second, how does he know how to do that. But don’t answer that because I know. You trained him. Because he needs to know how to use a sword. And I’m sorry. I am now officially in a terrible mood.”
“It does bother me too. But we can’t worry about it too much. He’s a boy. I remember doing all sorts of violent things at that age.”
“And look how you ended up.”
Oliver’s forehead crinkled when his wife’s words sank in. Was she―
“Oh! Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” Felicity jerked up and put her hands on his cheeks. “I didn’t mean it that way. In fact, I didn’t mean it at all. Don’t listen to me when I’m tired, okay? I’m a bit of a wreck.”
“No, no, it’s okay.” He pried her hands off him and pointed to her pillow. “I want you to get some sleep. You’re clearly very tired.” She didn’t protest as he tugged the blankets back and got her nestled underneath them. He kissed her forehead and whispered, “Just like you said yesterday when I was freaking out, it’s not necessary to worry about something like this. Not right now.”
“I’m sorry, Oliver,” she mumbled with her eyes closed.
“I can confirm that that’s not the worst thing you’ve said to me, and we’re still married, so goodnight. You’ll feel better in a bit.” He pulled the shades over the windows and left the room. Ellie stood in the hallway.
“Is Mom feeling okay?”
“She’s tired. I don’t think she didn’t get a good night’s sleep, so we’ll let her nap for a bit. Can you work on breakfast while I go help the kids?”
“I have a better idea. I’ll help outside, and you make breakfast. It will save us all some burnt food and a lot of time.”
Sometimes he would argue with her, but her suggestion sounded like a good idea today. Some farm work he could do; that was part of the reason he stayed in shape. But milking cow udders could be left to the people who actually seemed to enjoy doing it. He headed to the kitchen and smiled at Piper, who sat on the table, reading a book. “Morning, sweetie. Wanna help me with breakfast?”
“Sure.” She slid off the table and went to the pantry. “What should we have?”
“I think that’s kind of up to you. But nothing that takes longer than twenty minutes.”
“We could have eggs and sausage. Clayton got all those eggs from the chickens today so we have plenty. And we have some of that bread left from last night. Oh, you should know that I did most of the cooking last night. Everyone else is terrible.”
Oliver pulled out a pound of sausage from the fridge and chuckled. “I figured you did. It tasted really good. Hopefully they got some good pointers from you.”
“Most of them I got from you.”
“On how to make omelets?”
“Naw.” She giggled. “You’re good at cooking.”
“Thanks to your mom. And Raisa.”
They went quiet for a few minutes as they worked to get everything ready for when the rest of the kids came in. Oliver loved moments like this. Sometimes it was hard to imagine that a few years ago, he spent most of his time avoiding his children. Now, he spent most of the day with them. And with Felicity. He tried not to wonder if their marriage had suffered here. Most couples spent half of their first year or two in the bedroom, while they spent the first four months trekking across Europe, and the next several starting a farm. The stress had affected them all.
Even their attempts at having a baby.
“Hey, Daddy, the eggs are gonna burn soon if you don’t stir them.”
“Thanks, Piper.” He brushed away his thoughts of a few seconds earlier, and turned to his daughter. “What movie did you watch last night?”
“A movie about seven kids who could sing. It was good, but I can’t remember the name of it. William moaned and groaned through half of it, but even he ended up saying it was good. The grocery store doesn’t have many options. Actually, I think that was one of three movies to buy.”
“Sounds like a fun movie. I think it’s called The―”
“All done!” Clayton clomped in with a bucket half his size that contained milk. “Those cows might be stupid and annoying, but they do produce a ton of milk.” He set it in the fridge and turned around with a clap of his hands. “What’s for breakfast? We kinda forgot to eat dinner last night so I’m starving.”
Everyone found their seats around the circular table that their neighbors had given them. Harper looked around the room. “Where’s Mama? Did Piper poison her last night?”
“I did not!”
Oliver shot Harper a warning look and shook his head. “She’s just tired.”
“And a little ornery,” William muttered.
“Which generally means she’s tired. So we’re all gonna have to try to be quiet for a bit. Maybe school can be done outside. That way―” he paused as a noise reached his ears. Ellie sat up straighter and glanced at the door.
“What was that?”
William stood up. “It sounded like―”
“Everyone get in the basement. Will, grab your mom.” Oliver pushed back his chair and got to his feet as the noise got louder. “Now!” His oldest son ran up the stairs, yelling to Felicity. Ellie typed in the code on the wall that opened the basement door. She ushered the little ones inside, her eyes wild with fear. William and Felicity came tumbling down the stairs. Oliver glanced back at his wife, who held her tablet in her hands. They were trembling.
So were his.
He unlatched the box on the mantle and tossed his quiver over his shoulder. The noise got closer. Two cars. At least. “Felicity…” He glanced back at her. She still stood at the door, waiting for his signal. “Go. I’ll be fine.”
“There’s one of you and at least ten―”
“Go!”
With a loud curse word, she slammed the door. The grandfather clock covered the gap that led to the basement, giving nothing away as to where the family hid. Oliver walked to the door, his bow loaded, prepared to kill as many people as he needed to. That hadn’t worn away, despite how hard Felicity tried to get it to. He could push it deep inside him, but if he needed to protect his family, the killer would emerge.
God, protect us. The first vehicle came around the corner, and into the lawn. Oliver relaxed his position and set the arrow back in his quiver. A young boy riding a jacked-up four-wheeler stopped, soon followed by two more boys on dirt bikes. He set the weapons on the counter and stepped out, clenching his jaw at the sight of the kids. They’d better have a good explanation for this one, or they would never venture close again. “Que fais-tu ici?”
“Sorry!” The boy waved his hand to brush the situation off. Like Oliver would let it go like that. “And I speak English. So no need to speak French, unless you are French, but you don’t look like it. My buddies and I were out for a joy ride last night and we got super lost. We thought that you might be able to help us.”
“I haven’t lived here long, buddy. I couldn’t help you if I wanted to.”
“C’mon, sir.” The kid glanced back at his friends, and then looked at Oliver, his expression now more worried than the last cocky look he wore. “We were just having some fun, and we got super lost. Our parents are super worried, I’m sure.”
“Well, maybe this should be a lesson to you that you should make sure you know what direction north is, and you shouldn’t go on joy rides when it’s dark.”
“Hey, be nice to him.” He twitched when Felicity’s hand settled on his shoulder. Why was she up here? Her look said they would talk about that later. She walked closer to the boys and smiled. “Hey, kids. Excuse my husband. He’s a little ornery. He didn’t sleep well last night.”
The nerve of her…
“We don’t have internet access, but we do have a map. Maybe that would help?”
“Thank you so much, ma’am. That would mean a lot.”
“Come on inside.”
“Felicity…” he growled her name and caught her arm as she stepped onto the porch. “No.”
“You aren’t the boss right now, Oliver. They’re lost, and we should help them.” She glanced back at the boys. “Seriously, come inside. Are you guys hungry? I’m sure you didn’t expect to be stuck out in the woods all night.” Oh, she was mad. He knew how she liked to dig her knife in deep, and right now the knife was a sword. Oliver followed his wife and the four boys in, only to get the weapon further deeper into his chest.
Ellie stood by the table, a smile on her face. “Bonjour!”
“Hi.” The lead kid with the cocky smile and way-too-perfect hair extended his hand. “I’m Archer.”
“Lizzie. You got lost?”
“Yeah, we were being stupid. But your dad pointed out that this will be a good lesson for us. Right? Speaking of, I don’t know your names.” His eyes stayed on Ellie, which almost caused Oliver to lift the towel that covered his bow and shoot him in the leg. She continued to smile back. Did they know each other? Or was she that desperate for boys that she would―Felicity elbowed him in the ribs.
He cleared his throat. “This is my wife Megan and I’m Jonas.”
“Who names their kid Jonas?”
“My mother, apparently.”
Ellie snickered.
Oliver kept himself from rolling his eyes and reached for the map on the shelf. He spread it out on the table, and pointed to where they were. “So where do you live?”
“My house is….” Archer pursed his lips. “It’s right around here, but I’m not positive. This is an old map. Guys, can you help me?” His other friends couldn’t identify where they lived either. Oliver glanced at Felicity, who had her eyes on her tablet sitting on the counter. No, no, no. He wouldn’t let her use that to save these brats’ butts. “Why don’t you continue to look. I need to talk to my wife quickly. Ellie…” he couldn’t drag her along with him. Plus, she was a week shy of turning twenty. He couldn’t ban her from talking to males.
Why did it have to be them? He would’ve preferred bad guys to this.
Felicity took her tablet with her to the bedroom down the hall. “Oliver, you are being a terrible, terrible person right now.”
“And you’re willing to endanger our lives by using your tablet to look up where they live?”
“I am not…three, two, one.” She took a deep breath and then whispered, “God help me.” Her gaze went to him again. “First of all, don’t flip out about me using my tablet. I use it all the time; you just don’t know it. Second, no one can track me using maps. Maybe not even my dad can. Third, you should know me better than anyone and know that I’m not doing it for those boys out there who are all flirting with Ellie. I’m doing it for their parents who are likely scared to death that their boys are dead.”
The calmness in her voice brought a truck load of guilt onto his chest. Oliver stared down at the floor and mustered up enough strength to say, “I’m sorry, Felicity. I overreacted and―”
“Save it for later.” She brushed past him and walked out to the kitchen. “Okay, boys. I got my Wi-Fi to work, so go ahead and enter your address here and my husband will escort you back.”
Archer glanced at Oliver. “Sure he’s okay with that?”
“He’s happy to help.”
An hour later, he parked the truck but didn’t get out. How had this day gone this way? He didn’t even want to evaluate how it had happened. It was obvious, and it wasn’t Felicity’s fault. The we’re-going-to-die moment freaked him out, and after it turned out to be nothing―for the hundredth time―he got ornery. At all the wrong people. Oliver took a deep breath and headed to the house. Felicity sat on the porch swing, wrapped in a blanket. She didn’t move over when he came up the stairs, only tightened the blanket around her.
Oliver clasped his hands in front of him, forcing himself to look at her instead of at his feet. “Honey…I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She didn’t look at him. “Don’t worry about it.”
“No, it’s not fine. I was mean to you and those kids, and I’m sorry about that.”
“I told you, Oliver, it’s okay.”
He studied her, taking note of her pale face and tired eyes. He didn’t know how to deal with this. They’d fought before―some fights lasted for a few days and he slept on the couch―but this felt different. Like it wasn’t just what he’d done or said, or something they disagreed on. “Felicity…” he drew up a different chair and sat down. “What’s going on? Because―”
“This morning I was sleeping and all of the sudden William came into my room, screaming about how we needed to get downstairs.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry about that. I thought it―”
“And you know what the scariest thing was?” She glanced up at him, her eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t panic. I grabbed my tablet from underneath the bed and I ran downstairs. I didn’t start crying, or screaming, or freaking out. And then I watched our son take a gun off the wall and make sure it was loaded. Like it was totally normal.”
“It’s not―”
“Oliver, can you honestly look at this family and say that?”
No. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.
“William killed a mouse with a sword last night. Today, he grabbed a gun and looked like he would’ve killed twenty men if he had to. Annie has nightmares. We all have nightmares. Every couple weeks, we go into panic mode when there’s a loud noise, and we have to hide in that stupid basement that we built just so we could be safe!”
“Yeah, we did build that to stay safe.” Oliver shrugged, but his own anger was bubbling inside him. Not just at Felicity; at everything. At the truth that they couldn’t go anywhere on their anniversary in fear of something happening. All of it. “And I did teach my son how to handle a weapon in case something happened to me. Because if something happens, I don’t want to be sitting here, asking myself what I could have done differently. What if sometime it is the Bratva who come to our door? And we’re so tired of the story about the boy who cried wolf that we totally miss it? I can’t afford to let that happen, Felicity, and you know it.”
“I’m just so tired.” She collapsed back against the swing and closed her eyes. “So tired of running, and being scared.”
“Weren’t you telling me not to be yesterday?”
“And then this morning happened, and I realized I was wrong. We can try, but it’s impossible.”
He learned a long time ago that in marriage, the best way to help it survive was to figure out what battles were worth winning. And even if they were worth winning, the key was to decide how to win them, and when. He could win this one, but not right now, and not this way. Oliver tapped his hands on his thighs and then stood up. “Okay, Felicity.” She didn’t open her eyes. He picked her up in his arms, ignoring the flashback to last night and what happened afterwards. He carried her up to their room, and laid her onto the bed. After tucking her in, he kissed her sweaty forehead. “I love you.”
When she pulled the covers over her head and rolled over, he stifled a sigh and marched out to the bar. Stripped his shirt off. There wasn’t much workout equipment around, but he’d improvised, because in moments like this, he needed to lose himself in the pain.
Swear words made their way out as he pumped the iron, and so did the frustration. They’d been here for a while now, with no news of what had happened back at home. Felicity was right; their kids were conditioned into quite possible killers. Everyone loved each other so much that they’d pull a trigger. He slammed the metal bar back into its spot and dropped down to the ground. He couldn’t do anything about…anything. The kids needed to be able to wield a weapon. They needed to go into the basement when he heard a weird noise. It needed to be this way to keep them all safe.
And that was causing his relationship with his wife to come close to the edge of the cliff called problematic.
“Hey, Dad?” William pushed open the door and stepped in. His eyebrows raised. “Are you okay? There were some expletives coming from in here.”
“I’m sorry, buddy.” Oliver rubbed his hands over his eyes. “It’s not an excuse, but today has been―”
“No need to say anything else. Today has sucked.” William took a seat on the ground a few feet from Oliver. “Everyone’s wigged out from that moment this morning, and I can tell when you and Mom are fighting, even without the loud voices and stomping.” He made a face, and then sobered, fingering with the straw on the ground. “I haven’t mentioned this because it almost goes without saying, but there’s been a lot of stress lately. Underlying, but it’s just gotten worse and worse. That’s why me and Ellie came up with the anniversary idea. We hoped that if we gave you some time alone, you’d get things figured out a bit.”
“I’m sorry that we didn’t.”
“You have a lot on your plate right now. It’s okay.”
Oliver smiled. “But?”
William shrugged, and then chuckled. “Try not to tick Mom off?”
“I usually try not to do that on purpose.” He grunted as he stood up. If only he’d known how his body would feel three years from now, he wouldn’t have complained as much about how it fell apart after getting shot in the stomach. “I’m assuming it’s close to lunch time?”
“That’s why I came to get you.”
“Go ahead and eat without me. I’m gonna go talk to Felicity. Don’t look at me like that.” He ignored the curious looks from the kids when he walked through the kitchen. Sweat still dripped from his face, down onto his bare chest. He climbed the stairs and peeked into their bedroom. Felicity moved, and burrowed herself further underneath the covers. Aww, honey. A smile brightened his lips as he moved to the bed. “I see you’re awake.”
She didn’t say anything or move.
Oliver sighed and took a seat where he’d have easy access to rub her back. “Okay. I get it. It’s probably better if you don’t talk, because then I can talk without you yelling at me. First of all, I’m sorry. William and I talked in the barn, and apparently there’s been a lot of stress going on. I know I’m the reason it’s there, for a lot of reasons that you know already.
“You are my light, Felicity. But sometimes I think that light is dimming. You’re scared; I’m scared. We’re all terrified of what might happen. And we’re both not acting like ourselves. I know you better than anyone, and I don’t want you to act differently, because you’re who keeps me in line and with my head on straight.” He continued to rub her back, taking note of her movements, and the fact that she still wasn’t pulling the covers back.
“I think…” he took a deep breath. “I think it’s time we start facing this situation head-on. Enough hiding in the shadows, waiting for someone to kill us. We’ve been doing that for two years, and it’s getting tiring. Neither of us are the people who sit on the couch and wait. We have to do, and it’s time to do that.
“You are an amazing woman, Felicity.” He lifted his hand from her back and stood up again. It was time to leave her alone. “I meant what I said last night. You were the greatest miracle God’s ever given me, and I’m so thankful that you are my wife.”