Chapter Text
“Tell me true. Does my son satisfy you sexually?”
Ryder stills, a cup of tea halfway to her mouth, at Sahuna’s question. “Umm…” she says as a way to try to stall from answering, or better yet, not acknowledging the question at all.
This is supposed to be a relaxing lunch, a chance for Ryder to spend some time together with Sahuna. Now that Jaal’s family took the time to come to Meridian, Ryder cleared her schedule as much as possible. She and Sahuna sit in her father’s old quarters in the Hyperion, listening to music while eating an actual home-cooked meal. But instead of enjoying her salad - with actual greens from Elaaden - Ryder wants to be anywhere but here.
“Oh, how your cheeks redden,” Sahuna says, delight in her voice. “Jaal told me about the human blushing, but I never expected to see it myself.” She sets down her fork next to her plate and looks right at Ryder. “Now, why are you embarrassed?”
Another question which makes Ryder want to find a hole and let it swallow her up. She takes a breath, and tries to remind herself about the differences in human and angaran culture. “Sex isn’t something we-” Ryder stops herself to take another breath. Why is remembering to breathe suddenly so difficult? “Something that humans talk about in public.”
Especially with your boyfriend’s mother…
“I have made you uncomfortable,” Sahuna says at once. “Please forgive-”
“No, it’s fine,” Ryder says, forcing herself to make eye contact with Jaal’s mother. She might want to be anywhere else right now - the middle of a kett base sounded great - but she’ll get through this conversation if it kills her. “I’m assuming that’s a common question for angara?”
Sahuna nods, picking up her fork, which she then happily spears into a vegetable. “It is. Sex is an important part of many relationships. Not all, of course. But from what Jaal has told me, though, I’m to understand that it’s an important part of yours.”
Ryder tries not to slouch in her chair as Sahuna looks at her expectantly. “I’ve no complaints on that front, honestly,” she says, hoping her answer will end the line of questions and she can go back to her salad in peace. Maybe bring out the pie she and Jaal made last night in the Hyperion’s galley. A poor imitation of a chocolate mousse pie, but better than nothing.
“No complaints?” Sahuna says, and Ryder could hear disappointment lacing the woman’s voice. “Does that mean there is no praise?”
Where are the damn Remnant when she needs them… “No, of course not,” Ryder says quickly, folding her hands in her lap, willing herself not to stare at them. The absolute last thing she should be thinking about is Jaal and bed and praise. Not here. Not now.
“I did not realize humans could turn that shade of red.”
“We can,” Ryder says, her voice inching higher. “We most definitely can.”
Sahuna leans forward in her chair, clearly waiting for a more detailed answer. “So Jaal…”
“Yes,” Ryder says, swallowing down her embarrassment and fear. Think like an angaran, she tells herself. An angara wouldn’t think twice about such an inquiry. “He very much satisfies me.” She says nothing more, hoping beyond hope that Sahuna doesn’t request any specifics.
A smile, showing all of her teeth, crosses Sahuna’s face as she claps her hands together once. “Oh, that is so good to hear. A mother does not need to know more so let us continue to enjoy this delightful meal.”
“Right,” Ryder says meekly, trying to concentrate on her food. But her mind keeps wandering to the question Sahuna asked and just why she made such an inquiry.
Jaal better have some answers…
#
He did not expect to get back this late.
For most of the day, Jaal’s been wandering around Meridian with his siblings, reveling in being reunited with his family once more. They will be gone in less than a week, when the Tempest goes off on another assignment, but he pushes those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy the time they have together.
And now that the hour is late, it is time to enjoy his time with Ryder.
He palms the console outside her quarters - or as she keeps saying, her father’s old quarters, as if they are not hers now by right - and lets himself inside. The lights are dim and Ryder is curled up under a blanket in their bed.
The corners of her lips turn upward as their eyes meet. Once, he believed this woman to be emotionless, with little more feeling than a Remnant. Now, he knows better, knows this small smile she sends his way is full of happiness, and more importantly, full of love.
Love for him. Jaal is truly the luckiest of all men.
He walks to the other side of the bed, ignoring the fact that he should go to the refresher to brush his teeth and oil his skin. “Love of my life,” he says, scooting forward so that his chest is flush against her back. He places a hand on her stomach and adds, “Temptress of my loins…”
Ryder turns onto her back, the smile gone from her face. Has he said something to upset her? He tries to think of what might make her smile disappear. Did they not message enough today? Did she think he ignored her while he spent time with his siblings? Did he-
“Why did your true mother ask me about our sex life today?” she asks.
Oh.
Oh.
“She did?” Jaal asks, sitting up, already feeling the loss of her skin from beneath his palm. He did not expect this, not yet. But perhaps he should have. After all, less than three months ago, he kissed Ryder for the whole galaxy to see. Of course his true mother took that as a sign of commitment, especially when he told her more than once that Ryder fiercely guards showing her feelings in public. “I see…”
Ryder lifts her chin, and a look of suspicion crosses her face. It’s subtle, a furrow of the brow and purse of her lips, but it is there all the same. “What aren’t you telling me?
She reads him so easily. Most of the time, it’s humbling, but at this very moment, it’s maddening. To give himself a chance to stall, Jaal pats his lap. An invitation. When they are alone, as far as he is concerned, they cannot be close enough.
Without hesitation, Ryder sits up and settles herself in-between his legs, leaning back against him. The trust she shows him… Stars, he loves her so much.
But now there is no more time to stall. Now he must speak. Jaal is unsure why he’s nervous. She loves him. He loves her. He’s as certain of that as he is there are stars in the sky. Yet this is different somehow. Different in a way he doesn’t understand.
“When two angara care for each other as we do, it is customary for the family to become involved,” Jaal says, leaning forward, resting his chin on her shoulder. Because of the ends of his tendrils on his chest, it is an awkward position. But less awkward than if he wasn’t close. “The family asks questions to ensure that the match is sound. It is called the tavoan.”
Ryder says nothing and for longer than Jaal likes, the only sound in the room is of the two of them breathing. “So your mother could tell you to end things with me if I didn’t answer right?” she asks and Jaal hears an unaccustomed uncertainty in her voice.
“There are no right or wrong answers, my darling one,” Jaal says before pressing his lips against her shoulder. “My mother adores you, almost as much as I do, though in a very different way. I cannot imagine she would ever be against our courtship.”
“So tavoan means courtship?” Ryder asks. Even though he cannot see her face, he can hear the smile in her voice.
He chuckles, letting out a hint of bioelectricity through his palms. She shudders against him, as he knew she would, giving Jaal a chance to hold her closer. “More like, an exploration of a trusted relationship. But courtship will do.”
“You want to court me?”
“That I do,” he says, though the truth is he’s been courting her for a long time, even before he first took her to meet his family. “And I want you to court me.”
Ryder turns quickly, swift enough he cannot stop her. Resting back on her knees, she studies him. “How?” she asks, the word eager enough to cause his chest to tighten in happiness. “What do I need to do?” She bites her lip, looking away. “Unless you’d rather not tell me. Should I look this up?”
She is so close. So close. Jaal finds he cannot resist the temptation any longer. So he leans forward, kissing Ryder gently on the lips. She kisses him back, just as softly, and for one perfect moment, there is nothing in the galaxy except the two of them.
But then she breaks away, ending their galactic solitude. “So the tavoan?” she asks. “What exactly does it entail?”
That is his Ryder, always wanting to know the specifics so she can plan. Jaal strives for now, for the moment, but she hardly seems to ever be able to let herself do the same. With the Initiative depending on her, he understands, and treasures those moments when she is firmly in the present with him.
“For an angaran, there are five aspects of self,” Jaal says. He’s not thought of this since the revelation of the Jardaan, the species that created the angara. Did they program this belief or is it something his people discovered on their own as they strove to find their place in the universe?
Ryder has her omni-tool out but Jaal grabs her hand instead. “Hey,” she says with laugh. “I wanted to take notes.”
“I hardly think notes are necessary,” he says, bringing her hand to his lips. “Surely you can remember five things?”
“Now you’re just teasing,” she says.
“Never,” Jaals says, pressing his lips against her wrist, against her pulse. It is a sacred spot, where he can feel the blood flowing through her veins. “The five aspects of self are sexual, emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. A relationship should be compatible in all five if there is any hope to last.”
His mind thinks back to the only other time he would even have considered a tavoan, with Allia. Even then he knew it would never have worked. Sexually and physically, yes. They were quite compatible there. Everything else felt stilted, especially emotionally. So when his elder brother arrived, Jaal was not surprised when things ended quickly.
But Ryder? Jaal never dreamed that he could find a match so perfect for himself. The only aspect he sometimes worries about is mental compatibility - she is so bright and quick and his education so spotty - but he’s never felt lesser. Ever.
“So your true mother is going to ask me more questions?” she asks.
“Not just my true mother,” Jaal says, thinking of the coming days ahead. His family, his beautiful family all coming together to support him and the woman he loves. It is as if he is dreaming, though he knows he is awake. “Other members of my family will ask questions as well.”
She seems to consider his words. Then with a tilt of her head, she asks, “My mother-”
Jaal puts his index finger on her lips, thinking of Ellen Ryder. Ryder almost always becomes melancholy when she thinks of her true mother and this is not the time. Now is a time for joy, and for each other.
“You are human, Ryder,” Jaal says. And he is glad she is. If she was angara, she would not be Ryder, the love of his life. “I understand that your ways are different. You do not need to conform for me.”
Perhaps Ryder agrees, he thinks as she takes his hand and puts his finger over his own lips. “I’ll figure something out,” she says quietly. Or perhaps she doesn’t. “I don’t want you missing out on something important because I’m human.”
A promise is in her voice and it makes his heart sing, that she is willing to go to such lengths for him. “I do not want to add to your stress-”
“There’s no stress,” she says lightly, kissing him quickly on the lips. “If your family is willing to ask me awkward questions, the least I can do is have my family do the same.”
“You are amazing,” he says and it is one of the truest things Jaal’s ever said, on par with I love you.
“Yeah?” she says, pressing herself against him. Her eyes are a promise and Jaal breathes in quick as her tongue darts out and wets her lower lip, already anticipating the pleasure ahead for them both. “Well, you’re not so bad yourself.”