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Day 1
Fei Long built their shelter fairly quickly the first day, but what they didn’t stop to talk about was how the sleeping arrangements would work out. No one really realized it either, until they all stood around the shelter and looked at each other awkwardly when it came time to go to bed the first night.
“Well this is dumb,” Amanda laughed. “Let’s just go to bed.”
“We should put the big guys on the end where there’s more support underneath,” Aaron pointed out. “And everyone else can take the middle somewhere.”
That was how, five minutes later, Todd ended up sandwiched between Amanda and James. It wasn’t a bad place to be since he wasn’t anywhere near Jean-Robert, but Todd wasn’t accustomed to sleeping so close with so many people. As it got later the cold set it and he found himself awake and shivering more than he got any rest.
“Dammit, Todd,” James muttered next to him. “You kicked me again.”
“Sorry,” Todd whispered, trying to keep his voice down so he didn’t wake up Amanda who had finally fallen asleep. “It’s cold out here.” It was wet too, with the rain falling even harder through the night and while they were mostly dry his feet were cold and wet.
“You need to sleep,” James opened his eyes in the dark and looked over at him.
Todd sighed, “I’ve been trying.”
“Come here.”
The much smaller man was surprised when James lifted his arm and gestured to the space next to him. “What?”
“You’re skin and bones, it’s no wonder you can’t get warm.”
Todd studied him for a minute, the four inches between them suddenly a much larger gap that needed to be bridged. He hadn’t told anyone that he was gay, not that he was hiding it either but it just hadn’t come up the first day. He was fairly certain that James was straight, but he was offering a warm spot and that was worth thinking about.
“It’s just sleeping,” James sounded tired. “And if it stops you from kicking me, I’ll do whatever.”
“Okay,” Todd murmured and carefully moved over into the larger man’s space. He was still tense at the first contact, but when James’ arm and shoulder settled over him Todd immediately relaxed into the warmth. James’ leg snaked over his so he could tuck his feet between them, warming him until the shivering stopped entirely. It felt like pulling a warm blanket over him in the storm and he fell asleep within minutes.
***
Day 5
Todd and James’ sleeping arrangement had held after the first night. The second night Todd had hesitated until James raised his arm expectedly and he greedily cuddled into the warm space where he’d slept so well the night before, but after that it was an assumed arrangement that Todd was thankful for. As far as he knew, no one else had asked or said anything about it since James was usually the first one up in the mornings, but he knew the girls complained about Jean-Robert’s sleeping habits in their confessionals so all he could do was hope that no one said much about him.
With the addition of Jaime to Fei Long after the first reward challenge he hadn’t thought much about changing their sleeping habits, so he settled in comfortably in his normal space beneath James’ massive arm. With the steady breathing of the larger man next to him drowning out the sound of Jean-Robert’s snoring, he slept soundly again that night. If he were to admit it aloud, Todd would probably say he’d slept the best of anyone since the game started.
The next morning, however, he was surprised to overhear Jaime and Leslie talking on one of the paths while he gathered tinder for the fire.
“So what’s with Todd and James?” Todd recognized the voice as Jaime’s.
“What do you mean?” He smirked. Leave it to Leslie to be completely clueless.
“They were all cuddled up together all night. You didn’t notice it?”
“That’s weird… I’ve never seen them do that.”
Todd snickered and muffled the sound with the back of his hand. He may call her ‘Mama,’ but she really wasn’t very observant. His mom had figured out he was gay when he was a teenager, long before he spent the night sleeping with another man. Although that didn’t exactly mean anything in the situation called ‘Survivor’ since James was undeniably straight.
***
Day 6
Todd did everything he could to sleep as long as possible in the morning, but he was almost always awake the moment James moved away and got up. On day six, Todd was surprised to find James still asleep after dawn, but he was glad for it. With a quiet sound he closed his eyes and fell asleep again for a little while, until he was woken up by James’ voice.
“Jean-Robert, knock it off. You’re scaring the women,” James called across the shelter.
Todd suspected his sleeping partner hadn’t bothered to even open his eyes before making the comment, but he’d been sound asleep and missed what prompted it to begin with.
“I gotta be warm, man. It isn’t like we all have a little teddy bear to keep us warm all night.”
He felt the moment the words settled in for James when the older man tensed immediately and the arm around him tightened. Todd knew he should probably say something, but it would have been so much easier to keep his mouth shut. He thought it was a shame he wasn’t known for keeping his mouth shut.
Without turning to look at Jean-Robert, he commented, “James is a big teddy bear. I couldn’t keep myself warm, much less anyone else.”
James’ bark of laughter told him that they were still okay with whatever their sleeping arrangement meant, but the other man still removed his arm and sat up. Todd was disappointed their day of sleeping late was interrupted, but there was nothing more to do but get up and get the day started.
***
Day 13
Losing James and Aaron to Zhan Hu had been a blow to the strength of the Fei Long tribe, but more than that it had been a much deeper blow to Todd’s mental game. James had never been part of his alliance, but a good night’s sleep made life so much better and he’d been sleeping better than everyone else with James next to him.
He was thankful that the rain had held off that night, but he spent the whole night tossing and turning. He couldn’t get comfortable, he couldn’t get warm, and there was nothing to drown out the obnoxious sound of Jean-Robert’s snoring.
If he was a little bitchier in the morning, could they really blame him? He hadn’t slept more than five minutes that night.
***
Day 17
There were a lot of reasons that Todd was glad to see Aaron voted out of Zhan Hu. The reason he told Amanda and Courtney was for James to give him the clue to the hidden immunity idol, but mostly for himself he was looking forward to a full night of sleep. The four nights since James had moved over to Zhan Hu had been the most miserable nights Todd had spent in the game. He had been grouchy and miserable, and the lack of sleep was starting to affect his mental game. Comments from Jean-Robert didn’t help anything, and he had found himself getting into unnecessary arguments with the foolish poker player because of his abnormally short temper.
Todd was proud of his own ability to be self-aware and evaluate his own actions objectively, but he’d made a point not to think too much about the fact that his game relied heavily on having the much larger man next to him at night. He didn’t want James there at the end, he knew it would mean trouble and most likely the loss of a million dollars if they both sat together at the final tribal council, but for the moment he still needed the other man.
The added bonus of going to a tea house and getting to wash up was a special treat that afternoon. It was even better when James stripped down for a shower, and Todd was grateful for the fact he was sitting in a sudsy tub to hide his body’s reaction to the sight of James’ perfect, naked ass.
There were catcalls from the girls and comments from Jean-Robert, but for once Todd managed to keep his mouth shut. The only sound that could have possibly come out would have been a moan, and that would have made things all kinds of awkward, so he bit his lip and tried to will his arousal away.
He very much agreed with the girls about the view though, and it made for a really nice show while they enjoyed their baths. Later that night, though, when Todd was tucked under James’ arm, he tried extremely hard not to think about just how nice James’ ass was.
***
Day 19
“I don’t drink,” Todd slurred between sips of whatever they were drinking from the merge feast. The drinking had started in the afternoon, but they’d taken all the bottles back to camp with them afterwards and most of them had spent the next few hours drinking into the night.
James and Denise had some, but they had both gone to the shelter after dark and laid down while the rest of them got sloppy drunk and sang random songs well into the evening. Eventually he was disappointed to be alone when everyone else had seemed to couple off – Eric and Jaime, Courtney and Frosti, and even Amanda and Peih-Gee were hanging on each other. It seemed to his drunken mind that it was a good time for a walk.
“I’m going to pee,” he announced as he stood up. He stayed still for a moment while the world spun around him and he needed the dizziness to subside before he could walk or he would fall over his own feet.
“Be careful, Todd.” One of the girls called, but he didn’t know which one.
“Todd, Todd.” Another one of them called his name, and he wondered if they would just shut up because he just wanted to go for a walk and he was fine. He drank a half a canteen of water just a few minutes before!
It was fairly difficult to walk with as much as he had to drink, but he took his time so he didn’t fall in the slick mud. The paths were pretty in the dark, and it was really nice to get away from everyone for a few minutes. Twenty days with no privacy and no time alone had taken its toll on them all.
Happily he dropped down to sit in an open field and look up at the stars. There were so many stars in China!
In the morning, Todd figured that he must have fallen asleep in the field because the next thing he remembered was strong, familiar arms picking him up from the grass.
“Boy, you had all them girls worried about you.” The drawl washed over him with soft affection as he laid his head on James’ shoulder for the trip back to camp. “They’re all back there thinking you gone and fell in the lake or somethin’.”
“Was just looking at the stars,” Todd mumbled. “Was gonna come back.”
“After ya took a nap out there?” James laughed and the sound vibrated through Todd while James carried him.
“Mmhmm,” he hummed contently. “Just needed to rest…”
When he woke up in the morning, he was embarrassed to find himself sleeping half on top of James and sprawled across his wide back. He was thankful almost the entire tribe was still passed out after their night of drinking because he scrambled off of James and awkwardly retreated towards the trees when he realized his morning arousal was pressed against James’ hip.
“Shit, shit, shit,” he swore, silently praying that James had been asleep and hadn’t noticed. How was he supposed to look at James after that?
His stomach revolted right then and caused his erection to subside, but he spent a good long while on the ground while he waited for his body to settle.
***
Day 30
Sending James home on day thirty was a hard decision. Todd knew it needed to be done for his own game because James had those damn immunity idols, but he had been so afraid that if the idols came into play he would have gone straight home. Back at camp that night he was able to relax for a few minutes in the group hug, but as everyone went to bed that night he regretted the decision just a little bit. He’d gotten used to James’ large presence in the shelter and heavy arm around him while they slept, so it felt strange to sleep alone that night.
In the end, though, he had kept James around as long as he could. They’d sent Jean-Robert home before James because Todd had needed a few more nights of good sleep before the end was in sight. With nine days left, he took a breath and closed his eyes, falling asleep quickly to the sound of frogs and crickets.