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It wasn’t’ supposed to end this way. It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much, but the thing about heartbreak is that people never tell you how much it hurts. Because it does. A lot. Shouyou always thought it was like a stinging sensation, like if you have been pierced through the chest with a twisted dagger and someone left it there, ever pulsating; but it’s not like that.
It’s more of an actual emptiness, like a dullness in your chest that ever fades, you feel that there was something inside of you that should be there, but it’s not. There’s just an empty space where Hinata’s heart was supposed to be.
Hinata didn’t cry. He didn’t cry when he got kicked out of his house because of him liking guys. He didn’t cry because he didn’t get chosen for the national team. He didn’t cry at Kenma’s funeral. Because Tobio was there with him to comfort him, to hold him in his arms and telling him that everything would be alright, but now.
He was all alone. He felt lonely, he felt abandoned by the one person that was supposed to stay by his side.
The memory was burned inside Hinatas’ memory as a cruel joke from his mind
“Babe, I’m home” Hinata said entering the apartment and leaving his backpack on the coat hanger, the bakery had been hell today because of some mixed orders with the new guy they hired, and of course the food processor had to break in the rush hour so he had to make almost everything by himself, to say at least that he was exhausted was an understatement.
“Babe, are you there?” hinata called out placing his keys at the table in the living room, he made his way to their bedroom finding Tobio sitting at the base of their bed.
“There you are, I’ve been calling for you tobio, I know that it’ll be cheat day soon so, I got those pastries that you-“
“Shouyou we have to talk” Kageyama cut him off, startling him.
“What do you mean?” Shouyou asked unsure of the meaning behind those words, because, surely those words weren’t the ones that were supposed to be, right? Stupid kageyama making him worry for nothing
“I-this thing between us, it has to end” Tobio said firmly not looking at him, like if holding eye to eye contact would turn him into stone
“Co-come again?”
“We have to break up shouyou.” Kageyama said it more firmly this time, picking a suitcase that was beside him “I can’t keep taking care of you like you’re some tearful kid, I’ve got training to do and a lot of things to consider in my mind now that the Olympics are near, and you’re just holding me back”
“You- why are you saying this?” Hinata’s lips started quivering, he wanted to cry, but he was going to hold it a little longer, he wasn’t going to throw 5 years of relationship down the drain
“Hinata don’t you see? I’m pretty busy with being captain of the national team to take care of an inept reject that couldn’t hit a ball even if his life depended on it” Tobio snapped, and those words hurt, they hurt almost as hard as the first ones
“So that’s what you think of me? That I’m a reject?”
“Well clearly because we couldn’t even win the nationals in high school because of you, I’m fed up with putting on a front every time something goes wrong for you”
So your promise was a lie?” Shouyou croaked, he was trembling, from anger or sorrow he didn’t now nor cared at this moment “everything you said to me that day, how you wouldn’t leave me , how we would stay together no matter the odds, everything we fought for, did it mean anything to you?”
“It has to be this way-“
“FUCK IT WITH IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY!” Hinata roared as he clenched his fists and took a deep breath “why? Just, give me a reason, a valid reason as to why it has to end? Because I know you Tobio Kageyama and you wouldn’t say those things to hurt me if you weren’t hiding something, so please, give me at least a reason”
“Goodbye Hinata” without nothing to say Tobio left the room.
He heard Kageyama’s footsteps fade away lightly until there was the sound of the door closing and nothing more.
“At least say you’re sorry”
Well, he clearly wasn’t Hinata thought, sliding down the wall and reaching the floor “he clearly wasn’t sorry at all” His lips started quivering once more, tears stinging in his eyes, and with th first sob it was as if a dam broke, every tear he didn’t cry when he didn’t get chosen, every wail he didn’t cry at kenma’s funeral, all of it came crashing down on him, asphyxiating him to nearly choke, but the sobs prevented that every sob was a breath of cold air, everything felt so cold at the moment that he couldn’t even feel his own warmth, all of it was gone. He kept crying, not caring if the neighbors heard him, and soon he felt drained and tired; crawling to now his bed only he slipped under the covers hoping that maybe he’ find that familiar scent that always comforted him but, it seemed that he just changed the sheets before starting to pack, Leaving no trace behind him.
Hinata woke up at the sound of his clock alarm, still feeling overly tired, he got up and saw the date, “happy anniversary” shouyou murmured going to the window and opening the curtains to see the morning sky filled with black cloud with the rain already falling.
Today the sun didn’t shine in the sky, instead dark clouds covered it, leaving nothing but a cold, empty feeling of what should have been there, as if the sky was mourning of the death of a little star.