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Almost one week after the lockdown, Connor's still quite skittish.
This is further proved when Jude comes running up to his locker and greeting him loudly, at the end of the school day.
"Hey," Connor gasps, forcing a quick smile while his heart rattles in his chest.
"You alright?"
"Yeah..." Connor closes the locker. "You're here. How could I not be." He grabs his hand and smirks.
Jude smiles. "So, um, I'm thinking of trying out for football next semester." Connor's words catch his attention.
"Really? Hm, that'd be enjoyable," Jude flirts. Connor snickers. "It won't be so enjoyable when I'm suffering from a concussion."
"Stop it. Don't say that."
Connor grins at his boyfriend's protectiveness.
"I'll cheer you on every game." Jude's tone turns sincere.
"You don't even know if I'm gonna make it yet" Connor giggles.
"You will. You're great." Jude's eyes towards Connor are rather suggestive.
"We gotta do something together. I feel like the only time I've been seeing you is between classes." The two have been busy all week, not having time to hang out outside of school.
"Yeah. Definitely" Connor smiles, his body filling with an unexplainable but emotional sensation, heart lurching happily at the thought.
"You guys busy tonight?" Taylor was eavesdropping on their entire conversation. The couple flinches, spinning around in her direction.
"You should come to my youth group at seven, if you're not doing anything else."
Connor elbows the cringe off of Jude's face.
"Um, sure!" Connor doesn't want to shoot her down.
"Uh, which church?"
"Elevation."
"Yeah, yeah, I know where that is." He claims.
"Cool."
She smiles at them both before walking off, leaving Connor feeling neutral and Jude plain dissatisfied.
"Why would you say yes?" He whispers.
"I don't know...!" Connor blushes in defense.
"Well we can go, I guess, I just don't wanna be around her too much. She's been extra annoying lately."
"She still like you?"
"Yes." Jude gets a headache at the thought.
"Well she's just gonna have to get over it. It was stupid for me to get so jealous during the lockdown. You're gay." Con' explains.
"That's the point, though. What if her group is like, cult-ish?" Is Jude's main concern.
"I doubt it. She wouldn't have invited us if it was."
"But what if that's her plan? What if-"
"Hey." Connor takes his hands and pulls him closer.
"No more worrying, okay? I got you. If things get weird, we'll just ditch."
Jude's already spiritually calmed down by Connor's touch, the words he hears giving him endless comfort.
"Okay...Thanks." He smiles. "I-I don't want you worrying either." Sometimes he feels not good enough for Connor. Like he's not trying enough.
"You ready?" He's taken away from his worry.
"Yeah. Yeah."
Walking outside of the school to meet Callie and Mariana together, Jude leans on Connor's shoulder with his arm draped around him the entire time.
•••
That evening, Connor shows up at the Adams-Foster's in his fanciest flannel and pear of jeans with his hair slicked back.
"Hey," Jude lights up just at the sight, letting him inside the home.
"Where are you two off to?" Mariana flirts, assuming that by Connor's outfit they're going on a date.
"Youth group." They answer together.
"Like, a gay youth group?"
"Church youth group. A friend from school invited us." Connor clarifies.
"You do know you guys just get into groups, talk for a bit and listen to some live music right? It's not a christening." Mariana teases Connor's appearance.
Jude laughs, Connor playfully glaring at her.
"In my defense, it's still a church activity. You should always look nice for that formal stuff."
He's snickered at by his boyfriend.
Jesus enters the room to make a stop at the fridge, observing the room around him before opening.
"Takin' Jude out, Connor?" He assumes.
"Does no one understand?" He asks aloud before Jesus gets what he needs and exits.
"Understand what? Oh, did that dance come around already? Crap I gotta get pictures!" Lena overemphasizes once she sees them, going into a panic.
"The formal is next week." Says Jude.
"Well Connor why don't you save that outfit until then?"
He literally has to bite down on his tongue.
"What's going on?" Stef wonders, entering inside.
"Jude and Connor are going to their friend's youth group." Mariana shares.
"Youth group? Like, a Christian youth group?" Stef doesn't like the sound of this.
"Now, Stef," Lena doesn't want her starting.
"Lena you know I'm not a church person."
"Yes, but it's just a youth group. They'll be fine."
"I just don't want them being rejected because of-"
"Mom." Jude interrupts her firmly. "We'll be fine." He wants to believe it.
"When's it start?" Mariana asks.
"Almost ten minutes." Connor checks his phone.
"Well I'll be more than happy to drive you guys." Lena offers with a smile.
Mariana smirks at the boys, while Stef gives her wife a questionable look.
•••
Lena drops them off at the entrance of the church.
"One of you text me when it's time for pick up, okay?"
"Gotcha. Thanks mama."
The couple's hands touch once they're out of the car and standing on the sidewalk together.
Jude hesitantly stares down at the contact, Connor aware of what he's thinking.
"Uh, let's go inside" he says, not wanting to talk about it.
Almost right when you walk in, there's a room that consists of about a hundred kids around, past, and before their age, various adults who they assume are the volunteers/leaders, three sofas to sit on, a cafe for food, and displays of musical instruments resting around.
There are tables set up with other choices of food on the far left of the room and smaller tables to eat at.
"Hey!" Taylor notices, beaming once she's in front of them.
"Hey," Connor smiles. "This looks cool."
"Yeah, it is. The cafe food costs cash, but the pizza, fruit, that kinda stuff is free. We're still waiting for everything to start. We play a few songs, then we just get in a group and talk for an hour. This week's topic is overcoming struggles."
Connor gulps, hoping he doesn't have to open up too much.
Meanwhile, Jude is deciding from a list of things he could talk about.
"Okay, cool. Um, are people gonna care if we're..." Con' trails off.
"Oh, no. A few other kids here are actually gay too."
"Okay. Cool."
She leads them forward into the room, introducing them to one of her female friends.
"That's my friend Jude, and that's his friend Connor."
"Uh, we're-" Connor starts.
"Sure you're just her friend?" Irene wiggles her eyebrow at Jude.
"Me?" He blushes.
"Yeah, you."
Connor frowns. "Shut up" Taylor smiles in a quick breath. "Come on." She pulls Irene away with giggles coming from the both of them.
"What is she telling people..." Connor whispers to Jude.
"Maybe Irene's close minded, or something. So that's why Taylor said that..." Jude guesses nervously.
"Not just that. Is she telling people that you guys are dating?" Connor finishes.
"Well, if she is, then, I'll just tell people that it's totally not true." Jude takes his hand.
"At all."
They smile at each other.
Connor decides to grab himself some pineapple, a boy that's not Jude approaching him while doing so.
"Hey."
"Oh, here." Connor moves out of the way.
"You here with anyone?"
"Uh, yeah." Connor points to Jude who's awkwardly talking to a fellowship leader that spotted him.
"I'm Noah. I can introduce you to a few other people if you want."
"Oh, uh...It's fine. Thanks, though." He forces a smile and makes away from him with his pineapple.
"Hey. Who was that?" Jude asks, now standing alone besides for Connor.
"He said his name was Noah. Was being nice."
Jude nods, gazing over at him now talking to a few kids.
"Pineapple?"
"No, I'm fine." Jude giggles looking back at him.
It's announced that they're going to start the music, and Noah walks over to them.
"Hey, do any of you play an instrument, sing, that kinda thing? 'Cause if you ever wanna play here in the future we can totally hook you up."
"Uh, no. But thanks anyway. This is Jude." Connor introduces him.
"Hey. I'm Noah." He shakes his hand despite no cooperation.
Connor raises an eyebrow. "Is it cool if I stand with you guys?"
Jude has to nudge at Connor to get him to respond.
"Uh, yeah, yeah. Sure."
While the three walk over to the forming crowd together, Jude gives Connor a 'not to worry' look.
While Connor and Noah enjoy the music-which Noah usually does-Jude isn't all that impressed.
Afterwards, when the three songs have ended and are now in Connor's head with no complaints, all the eighth grade girls and boys get into a group with the fellowship leader Jude was talking to named John, in a separate wide spaced room with four couches.
The couple sits next to each other, Taylor purposely sitting with them, Noah on the couch across from them.
"Tonight we're talking about hardships and how God can, and does help us through them. Would anyone like to share anything about a struggle you've overcome, or are trying to overcome?"
It grows silent, until Connor chooses to speak up.
"I will."
"Would you like to introduce yourself first?"
"Uhhh...I'm Connor, that's Jude," he points to him. "And Taylor invited us."
She smiles proudly.
"There was recently a lockdown at our school because someone bought a gun inside the building. No one got hurt. But the gunman's still missing. I know he's not particularly after me, but, I'm still shaken up about it. I've been on edge a lot."
"Why do you think it's affected you so much?"
"Probably because I've been shot in the foot before. On accident."
"By my Dad." Taylor overshares, everyone else murmuring in wonder. Jude frowns at her.
"Anyways..." Connor continues. "I guess I was just scared I was gonna get shot again. But this time on purpose."
"I see. Have you been doing anything to cope with these feelings?"
"Uh, not really, no." He admits. "I've, been, able to get comfort from Jude, but, maybe I need it from God too." He shrugs.
Jude stares at him with admiration for his braveness. He wishes he could be like that.
"But, I've never really, been super religious." Con' adds on.
"It's never too late to seek peace from God."
"I know..." Connor doesn't want all the attention on him and his issues. "So, yeah."
"Alright. Thank you for sharing, Connor. Who would like to go next?"
"I will." Noah offers. "It's not, uh, as bold as Connor's story, but-"
Who he just mentioned is now raising their eyebrows in surprise.
Jude sits up stiffly.
"I got dumped this week...And, it sucks. But I know God's gonna get me through it, and maybe help me move on with another boy one day."
Jude and Connor skeptically glance over at each other.
"That's right, Noah. Anything else you have to say?"
He simply shakes his head.
"Thank you for sharing. Who's next?"
•••
About an hour later, Jude and Connor are walking out into the main lobby within the crowd of kids, hands just barely intertwining.
Jude notices that Connor happens to be humming one of the songs that were performed earlier.
"Are you humming '1,000 reasons'?"
"It's catchy, okay?"
They've returned into lobby, Jude starting to awkwardly look around.
"Uh..." He looks back at Connor. "What you said back there, that was really brave. A-and I'm proud of you."
Connor smiles weakly. "Thank you, Jude. You're so sweet."
He chuckles. "And, hey, I know I was kinda judging this place, but, if you wanna keep coming here or whatever, then it's totally your choice. I'm glad you can find comfort in a higher power, if that's what you need."
Connor's smile only grows bigger.
"I love you."
"I love you too," Jude nervously laughs, had being caught off guard.
"I'm gonna get more pineapple." Con' announces, flashing a smile and making his way over.
Jude giggles. "Don't take too long, now." He's too busy staring in Connor's direction that he doesn't even notice Noah approaching him.
"Hey."
Face dropping, Jude turns to him. "Oh. Hi."
"Uh, what your friend said back there. That was really brave. And I think it's cool that you're helping him."
"He's not my friend." Jude practically blurts.
"Oh."
"Uh, boyfriend." He corrects.
"Really?"
"Yeah..."
"Uh the only reason I'm asking is because Taylor's been saying that you and her have had some stuff going on-"
"Ugh, seriously?" Jude rolls his eyes. "Ignore her. She's liked me for a while now."
"Oh." Noah chuckles. "Yeah, there's all this drama going on with her and the other girls. The guys are more laid back."
"Yeah, guess that's one perk of being gay. No girl drama."
They snicker.
Connor, who officially takes notice in their friendly conversation, leans up against the jambe drum to get a better view with his jealous eyes.
"Um..." Noah awkwardly takes notice.
"Is your boyfriend okay, over there?"
Jude glares, once he and Con' make eye contact.
'Come over here' he mouths with emphasis, forcefully gesturing his hand in a direction away from the instruments.
He looks back at Noah with forced casualty.
"So, you got dumped huh? That sucks."
"Yeah I'm still recovering from it. It still feels-"
Connor accidentally knocks each instrument down onto the floor one by one, a sea of noise erupting from all of them at once.
Everyone else in the lobby looks over.
"Sorry..." Connor embarrassingly apologizes, on the verge of trembling.
Jude sighs at the sight.
"Uh, excuse me for a moment..." He sprints away from Noah.
He has to chase after Connor outside.
"What was that?" He interrogates, sitting down with him on the steps of the church.
"I'm sorry I was eavesdropping-"
"Not that. Why'd you bolt..." Jude didn't expect him to take off in a run.
"I-I got scared by the noise, okay? I'm such an idiot-"
"No you're not." Jude squeezes his hand.
"You're a jealous dork and that's okay."
They both giggle.
"C'mere." Jude has him rest on his shoulder,
"Love you."
"Love you too" Jude whispers in his ear, emerging smiles from the both of them.
They separate within a few seconds, now peacefully sitting close together.
"Can I tell you something?" Jude asks.
"Yeah."
"Uh, sometimes I feel like I'm not trying hard enough. With us. You're this super great amazing person, and I don't wanna like disappoint you with anything-"
"Hey" Connor grabs his face. "You are a beautiful person, Jude. I love you so much. You and your family are the best thing that's ever happened to me. The only thing I'd change about you are your doubts about yourself."
Jude grabs him back and kisses him roughly for all just two seconds.
He wants him to know how much he appreciates him and how much he can't be without him.
Connor smiles in response. "What was that for?" He's still blushing, lips tingling as if Jude had kissed him for the first time.
"Everything you've ever done for me."
Noah suddenly spots them, making his way over.
"Hey. You guys okay?"
"Uh, yeah..." Connor looks at him.
"Cool. Listen, you don't need to be jealous about anything. I just got out of a tough relationship and I am in no rush to move on."
"Connor's sorry. Right, Connor?" Jude stares him down.
He has to flick his shoulder. "Yes. I am very sorry."
Noah laughs. "It looks like you guys've been through a lot. So, here's something to take the edge off..."
Out of his large sweatshirt pocket, he takes out a plastic baggie of four joints and a lighter.
"Weed?" Connor whispers, after several seconds of staring down at so in amazement.
"It helps with me. Just think about it."
"So you carry around drugs while strolling around church property?" Jude looks up at him.
Noah scoffs. "Call it what you want. You in or no?"
"How much?" Jude wonders.
"On the house. Here." He puts it in Jude's hand.
"Uh...Thanks..." Connor feels uncomfortable.
"You like me now?" He calls out, jogging away from them.
Jude scoffs. The two boys look at each other.
"Where are we even gonna put this?" Connor wearily returns his eyes to the bag.
Jude takes out the joints and stuffs them in his pants pocket, while Connor puts the lighter at the bottom of his shoe.
Not the best idea.
"Owe! What the fuck?!" He yells, the lighter unintentionally going off and burning the bottom of his foot.
They get looks from people who pass by.
"What the hell?" Jude asks, throwing his own shoe off for him.
Sighing, he takes out the lighter.
"Are you okay?!"
"Yeah, yeah. My foot's just burnt."
"That's still not good!"
Lena unexpectedly zips up right in front of them, Jude hastily shoving the lighter in his other pocket.
"How was it?"
"Uh, good..." Connor puts back on his shoe and cringes at the pain.
They get in the backseat, where he has to hold back his groans of pain.
He prays for the pain to stop.
"Can we put on the worship music station?" He asks on the way back.
When they're all home, the boys have to bring up an ice pack to Jude's room for Connor to rest on his foot.
"What are you guys doing...?" Callie hesitantly asks, seeing them carry it in.
"None of your business..." Is all Jude says.
At that, she crinkles her nose.
"Mom...?" She calls out.
Connor and Jude take off into his room right away.
"Owe!" Connor yells at the pain.