Work Text:
It’s you. And it’s always going to be you.
It’s the way your fur coat falls on your shoulders and sways as you waltz in your heels.
It’s the way your hand runs through your blonde hair while you silently gaze out the window with a cigarette between your slim fingers.
It’s when you turn up the radio in the car when that song you like plays and your mouth curves into a soft smile.
It’s how you place your hand on my neck and run it smoothly along my back as I look at messily displayed photographs on the counter and question my own dreams.
And everyday I wonder in fear how is it that you see in me a reason to let yourself lose a battle for who you hold closest to your heart.
Everyday I fear you’ll regret it, you’ll tell me you want your life back and I’ll be left adrift, in an ocean that engulfs me and drowns me in your perfume, your voice, your gaze, our memories.
I want to say I love you,
I want to shout it across valleys but I’m scared the words will leave my lips and linger only for moments before dissipating and merging with the air we breathe, unnoticed.
The love, the tenderness, the ache, it all overflows and I’m scared that I’ll open my mouth and the words will spill out and I’ll tumble and everything will pour out in a meaningless amalgam until I’m drained, lifeless.
I’m scared I will never have enough knowledge of this world’s languages and gestures to show you what it means to hold you in this place in my heart.
But I want you to know that what I feel for you does not die.
My body may wither away in a sandy storm, my consciousness might be washed away by salted waves and you will always glow, you’ll always smile, you will always be you and so across a multitude of galaxies in a multitude of universes I will never stop loving you.
And I can only hope you’ll allow me to hear you laugh for all the eternities those universes contemplate.
That you’ll let me watch you drive your car, that you’ll let me feel your breath against my neck in each and every one of our embraces, that you’ll let me hold onto you and bury my fingers in your satin hair as you hold me, skin on skin and drive me over the edge of pleasure I could never have thought to feel.
Because no matter what the world brings me, I will forever give you everything I am made of.
I am yours, entirely, flung out of space.
Love, T.