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Deadpool watches the chimichanga rotate in the high tech microwave, the hum low and calming. The timer reaches zero and a loud beeping rings throughout the room. He takes out the delicious meal and puts it on a plate. Deadpool sits down at a table and lifts his mask up just enough for him to eat. He takes in the magnificent smell.
‘The food of the gods,’ he whispers. He nods his head slowly as he chews the deep fried burrito.
Captain America clears his throat and Deadpool whips his head around. He looks back and forth between each of the Avengers (and the newbies).
Deadpool puts his plate down and pulls down his mask. ‘Well…’ he says, ‘You guys are back early.’
There is a pause that seems to last forever; no one knows what to say. Wanda looks at her brother in confusion, silently asking for an explanation. Pietro shrugs. Clint raises his hand to fish an arrow out of his quiver, Natasha puts a hand on his wrist, stilling the movement. Bucky taps Sam on the shoulder.
Sam flinches and says, ‘Don’t touch me.’ Bucky retracts his hand slowly to his side with a disgruntled frown.
‘What are you doing here?’ Iron Man asks him.
‘Uhhh…’ Deadpool says, unable to find the right words. Deadpool stands up abruptly and runs toward the window. He smacks into the glass. He tries to ram it again. He fails. ’Damn reinforced windows,’ Deadpool mutters as he reloads his pistol. He turns his head, the Avengers are staring at him in confusion ‘Er, one moment. Heh.’ Deadpool aims the gun at the window and fires a round into it, the glass shatters and he jumps out of the building yelling, ‘SPIDEY CATCH MEEEE!!!’
’No no no, wait!’ Spider-man calls out.
There is a sickening splat and in the distance, only just audible, Deadpool says ‘WHAT THE SHIT, PARKER?’
Spider-man walks over to the edge of the broken window ledge ’S-sorry Deadpool!’ Spider-man calls out.
‘Don’t say sorry to him!’ Iron Man orders.
‘Uh, it is regrettable that you fell, Deadpool!’ Spider-man yells, cupping his hands around his mouth.
‘No it isn’t!’ Iron Man says.
‘Uh, n-no it isn’t!’ Spider-man yells.
‘Spidey, why are you being so rude?’ Deadpool yells back.
‘Sorry!’ Spider-man calls out.
‘Don’t say sorry to him!’ Iron Man says.
‘Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!’ Spider-man yells in frustration.
Spider-man jumps out the window and swings away into the distance.
There’s a long silence.
‘I would’ve just used the door…’ Stan Lee the mail man says behind them.