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Comfort
It’s not so much comfort than it is assurance to Jack that he isn’t alone, although he sometimes thinks that it’s all a game to John.
Kiss
Their fights go in circles — a kiss with a fist is better than none.
Soft
He’d always imagined that a surgeon’s hands would be rough — hard, exact, unfeeling; however, John finds that Jack’s hands are gentle, and he begins to wonder what would it feel like if Jack— but he doesn’t (only sometimes) finish the thought.
Pain
Jack learns that rejection is what hurts John most, and he lashes out and uses it as a weapon in a moment when he’s had too much, but he immediately wishes that he take it back when he sees the pained expression on John’s face.
Potatoes
Jack admits that he’s sorry, and thankfully John just grins and says, “Don’t worry about it — small potatoes.”
Rain
He’s almost positive that John is showing off when he predicts the weather, and ten seconds later when the rain starts to beat down on them out of the previously clear blue sky John turns to Jack, his eyes bright and questioning like a magician that has just completed his trick (ta-da!) and is waiting for a response; Jack humors him with a grin.
Chocolate
He’s not usually one to divulge in sweets but Jack eats the Apollo bar carefully, savoring every bite — he tells himself that it’s the taste of the chocolate that arouses him, and not the fact that John reaches forward and wipes at the corner of his mouth with his thumb.
Happiness
The White Album spins on the record player and Jack sing-mummers along, “happiness is a warm gun,” and his head on John’s shoulder feels the reverberations of John’s answering lyric of, “bang bang shoot shoot.”
Telephone
It’s a few moments before John realizes that Hugo is saying, “Earth to Locke! Are you even listening to me, dude?” to him, because he is too busy sharing a gaze with Jack across the beach.
Ears
It’s only a matter of time before he will relent, Jack knows, but he pants, “No, not here, not yet,” into John’s ear — he’s always had a problem letting go, especially when it comes to relationships.
Name
“Oh look, it’s the Odd Couple again,” Sawyer slyly says when he walks into the hatch and sees Jack and John sitting together at the table; Jack knows that there’s no way that Sawyer can know about them but the nickname still causes him to jolt.
Sensual
Their first time is nowhere near sensual and it probably resembles a battle more than it does intimacy, each leaving marks on the other that won’t fade for days.
Death
Jack can’t help but blame himself when Eloise Hawking talks about his suicide.
Sex
Who is using who, Jack can’t help but wonder, but the thought is lost when John touches and works him with very capable hands; he glances up to see John looking at him in such a way that makes his chest tight, and Jack has to bite his bottom lip from letting words spill out of his mouth that he’d rather not be heard.
Touch
If anybody notices their lingering touches — a hand on the shoulder that stays longer than a friendly gesture, a nudge on the thigh that’s maybe a little too high, a hand grasping the other’s without any apparent reason — nobody mentions it.
Weakness
He wishes that he wouldn’t buckle so easily for Jack, but when Jack believes in something he says, he will do anything for him.
Tears
He wants to make him cry, just so he can know that it matters to him.
Speed
“Quick, before someone passes by,” Jack breathes, and presses his mouth against John’s, but John takes his time, giving languid kisses and lets his hands roam slowly down Jack’s body; Jack not only wants to rush because there’s always the danger of someone interrupting them by walking through the clearing, but also because he wants — needs — it, and as he rubs his groin against John’s leg to indicate his readiness, he swears that John does it just to aggravate him.
Wind
The click of the trigger pulled fills the air, and the ring of the shot unfired fades into the wind.
Freedom
They’ll never be free until the Island is done with them.
Life
He thinks that maybe in another life, they could have had a better go of it; maybe they would have chatted when they got off Oceanic 815, they could have gone for drinks after, and it all could have been better without the necessity of the Island — and possibly in this other life that did not happen, Dr. Shephard could have been the one to fix his spine.
Jealousy
When he sees Jack kiss Kate he feels the familiar emotion of rage prickle his chest, so when they’re alone he shoves Jack against the wall, grips his sides and bites at his neck, marking him as his; Jack chuckles and says, “Jealous, huh?” and John says nothing as he shoves his hand down Jack’s pants.
Hands
They both reach to type in the numbers at the same time and their hands brush against each other and there’s something, something that makes their pulse quicken; Jack recoils his immediately, true to his nature of wanting to be oblivious to the unknown — however John takes his time and types in 4-8-15-16-23-42-EXECUTE before resting his hand next to keyboard, itching to reach out and touch Jack again, just to see.
Taste
John only has a small taste of leadership before it is yanked away from him, as is with anything of any importance in his life — even Jack, who chose something and someone else over him.
Devotion
It’s silly, but Jack wishes that John wasn’t so obsessed with the purpose of the Island, because he doesn’t like the feeling of being second importance.
Forever
In a quiet moment John asks Jack to stay with him and forget about leaving, and Jack considers the thought of living out the rest of his life on the Island with him, and it doesn’t sound too horrible — the way John is running his hand down his arm as they lay next to each other is something he could see himself doing every day, and he thinks maybe we could live together in one of those yellow Other houses; but he refuses to think of it because it’s not how the story goes — he has a duty to save everyone, after all.
Blood
He swears his heart stops for a moment when he sees John in the ER; the blood staining the white hospital sheets is all he can focus on, and it isn’t until he notices the steady blip of the heart rate monitor and relief fills his mind that he wonders why John is here, because it sure as hell isn’t fate.
Sickness
They say obsession is a sickness, and John has always been one to obsess — if this thing with Jack is obsession, then it’s the most satisfying illness he’s ever had.
Melody
Jack is a romantic at heart although he pretends not to be with him, but he still thinks of songs that he would play for him on the piano if the hatch happened to have one.
Star
Jack tries to fulfill his new celebrity status, but stardom doesn’t suit him well; smiles that form don’t reach his eyes, and burden and regret weighs heavily on his shoulders.
Home
Home isn’t where Jack thought it was.
Confusion
He counts his steps so he doesn’t have to think, but it doesn’t help — all his thoughts turn to Jack.
Fear
One two three four five, Jack counts.
Lightning/Thunder
He hasn’t been afraid of thunderstorms since he was four years old, but he feels more content sleeping next to John with his legs tangled with his as thunder cracks and lightning illuminates the sky.
Bonds
Jack scoffs at the mention of destiny — the idea that they were meant to be there, together, is ridiculous — nothing happens for a reason, it just happens.
Market
He barters with Sawyer to get the small bottle of lubricant and when he tosses it to John he gets an impressed look, so Jack says, “I told him I needed it for medical purposes,” and John says in response, “Like he’ll believe that.”
Technology
With the hatch blowing up around him, bright lights and a deafening shrill, John’s almost certain that he’s going to die but at least he’ll die knowing that he was right.
Gift
It could be the chance to fix everything Jack realizes — he can find John wherever he is in 1977 and somehow make him believe, tell him that he can’t leave the Island when he’s there many many years in the future, because if not horrible things happen to him, and that maybe on that time around Jack wouldn’t leave the Island either…but Jack is told things about time travel and whatever happened, happened, and he gives up; besides, Jack guesses that he would have done the same thing, regardless.
Smile
It’s his smile that Jack remembers best — the way his eyes would scrunch up and crow’s feet lined the corners, the way he would tilt his head and sometimes let out a simple ha, how his grin was wide and great and free and unrestrained, like he wanted everyone else to smile along with him too.
Innocence
They’re certain that Hurley and Charlie know — the two walk into the hatch unannounced when Jack has his face between John’s thighs; there’s no way that they couldn’t have seen what they were doing but when Jack and John confront them about it, they feign innocence — it’s for the best and less awkward for all involved, and from then on Hurley and Charlie make a lot of noise before entering the hatch.
Completion
Jack wishes more than anything that John could have been there to see the Island finally safe — Jack would have leaned in close and whispered, “You were right,” before kissing him.
Clouds
The first thing that he notices when he wakes up are the clouds; the second thing that he notices is the long forgotten familiar sensation of feeling in his feet.
Sky
Lying on his back in the bamboo forest, Jack is positive that the sky has never been more beautiful.
Heaven
“We’ve been waiting on you,” John says, and Jack knows that he’s finally home.
Hell
He makes the responsibility of the Island his own personal hell.
Sun
“You should tell him,” Sun says softly, always the most levelheaded and compassionate of the group, however Jack shakes his head because he can’t tell him what he had just admitted to Sun.
Moon
When Jack lets the words I think I might love you slip out, it’s enough to send John over the moon, and he quickly and teasingly responds, “Well, I know if I do or not,” and Jack punches him in the arm until John says that he does out loud.
Waves
As he stares into the ocean, a small part of Jack begins to hope that they’ll never be rescued, because things would never be able to continue as they are now.
Hair
There is nothing quite as attractive as Jack’s mussed up hair after sex, John decides.
Supernova
They push and pull against each other, antagonizing and pleading; one day when they finally collide there will be a great supernova: fiery, and collapsing from the inside out.