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“Oh, it’s Tsukishima,” Hinata exclaimed and caught the ball. He, Kageyama and Yamaguchi were playing around with it during the lunch break. “With a beautiful girl,” he wrinkled his nose, following the pair with his eyes. “Reminds me a bit of Kiyoko-senpai.”
“Isn’t it a different one this time?” Kageyama commented.
“Eh? You’re paying attention to such stuff?” Hinata gaped at him. “You’re right, though. It’s a different one, last week it was a short girl with fluffy hair. Is he actually going out with all of them or just hanging around?”
“Hell if I know,” Kageyama shrugged. “Ask Yamaguchi,” both him and Hinata looked at Yamaguchi.
“Eh?” Yamaguchi flinched. “I… don’t know,” he said quietly, his head hanging low.
“You don’t know?” Kageyama echoed.
“Shh, shut up, Kageyama,” Hinata shushed him, noticing Yamaguchi’s shoulders tremble.
Some time ago, Hinata realised that something changed between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. He decided to not come between the two of them, he was sure that they will deal with it themselves, just like they did during one of the training camps in the past. But now he understood that the situation was completely different. A lot of seemingly unrelated and not important details suddenly fell into place. And Hinata knew that the problem won’t disappear without any help from the outside.
*
“So, yeah, the thing is, that there’s something weird going on between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima,” Hinata said to Yachi and Kageyama, his face serious.
“Whatever,” Kageyama grumbled.
“Um… yes, they don’t really spend much time together anymore. I think that maybe even not at all?” Yachi sounded worried. “I mean, they ended up in different classes this year so it’s somehow understandable but…” she fell quiet.
“Yeah! This! And Tsukishima is constantly hanging out with girls! Even though he was always annoyed when girls tried to get close to him!”
“About that… I heard some girls talking about him and all I understood from their excitement about Tsukishima-kun is that the situation is somehow weird… He’s not exactly going out with any of them. Not officially. It’s just like… hanging around together for some time? He’s nice and all, you can even say that he’s going on dates with all the girls but… he’s still distant. He’s accepting anyone who comes and he doesn’t care if a girl stops hanging out with him. He’s not reaching out to them himself.”
“Asshole,” Kageyama butted in.
“Could you try to contribute more to the discussion, Kageyama-kun?” Hinata huffed at him.
“I don’t care about Tsukishima, really. As long as it doesn’t-” he suddenly fell quiet.
“What?” Hinata asked.
“Does all of this stuff has anything to do with Yamaguchi messing up during practice lately?” Kageyama answered with a question.
“Maybe?” Yachi hummed and Hinata nodded his head.
“I’m going to bash Tsukishima’s face in,” Kageyama got up and left to search for the blond. He found him on the rooftop, quietly listening to a chatter of some random girl.
“We need to talk,” Kageyama stood right in front of them and glared. It startled the girl and she left almost immediately, while Tsukishima only raised his brow.
“What?” he asked, though he didn’t sound interested.
“I don’t have the slightest idea what happened and I don’t really care. But it’s completely different case when it’s affecting the team.”
“Huh? What do you even want from me? Just like always, I don’t get what’s going on in your stupid head,” Tsukishima stood up and glared at Kageyama. They were staring each other down until Kageyama broke the silence:
“A long time ago, I’ve said to Hinata that Oikawa-san has even worse personality than yours. But now I see that I was wrong. You’re more of an asshole than him. Even while fooling around with girls - “ Kageyama didn’t notice how Tsukishima’s brow twitched at his words, “ - Oikawa-san didn’t forget about his childhood friend. And he always gives his all when it comes to volleyball.”
“What do you even know?” Tsukishima growled, taking a step towards Kageyama. “You don’t know a thing, since your head is filled with volleyball and nothing more,” if it was someone other than Kageyama, they would curl up in themselves, intimidated. There was a tense silence between them and then Tsukishima turned around, leaving Kageyama alone.
*
Hinata stormed out almost right after Kageyama. He was running around the whole school but he couldn’t find either Kageyama or Tsukishima. Before he caught a glimpse of the setter, it was already too late, their lunch break ended. Hinata decided to confront Tsukishima sometime later.
When Hinata noticed Tsukishima taking a break during practice, he slowly walked up to him and sat beside him.
“What do you want?” Tsukishima grumbled.
“Eh?” Hinata flinched. “Um… how it’s going?” he smiled but it seemed forced.
“Huh?”
“Well, aren’t you a ladies’ man now?” Hinata laughed quietly. “Even though you hated that?” he glared.
“Get off my case. First King, now you,” Tsukishima waved his hand as if Hinata was some annoying bug.
“I wouldn’t care if it was only about you! But it also concerns Yamaguchi!” Hinata got angry. “What the hell is with the two of you? Aren’t you friends? For the longest time I was wondering why Yamaguchi even bothered being friends with someone like you. When you were a complete asshole. And he was so worried about you during that training camp last year! When you were the only one dragging his feet!” Hinata raised his voice. “And now you’re ditching him for some random girls?!”
“Why all of you run your mouths even when you don’t know shit?” Tsukishima got up, looming over Hinata.
“Then maybe do tell, huh?!”
“I’m not obliged to.”
“What’s going on?” Yamaguchi appeared right beside them.
“Tsukishima is being an asshole,” Hinata grumbled.
“Yeah, he does that a lot. You should be used to this already, Hinata,” Yamaguchi chuckled, not looking at Tsukishima.
“But Yamaguchi…” Hinata whined.
“Don’t mind him and go back to practice, Kageyama was glaring in this direction for some time now,” Yamaguchi pushed Hinata lightly towards the court. He didn’t say anything to Tsukishima, he just briefly glanced at him and left him alone.
*
Yachi felt really troubled. She wanted to help her friends but she wasn’t sure how to approach them. She was observing Yamaguchi and Tsukishima closely during the practice. Just like she feared, they weren’t talking with each other at all. She wondered, dumbfounded, how no-one noticed this before. In the past, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were like a set, it was rare to see them apart.
Before the short confrontation between Tsukishima and Hinata, Yachi noticed something. She wasn’t sure yet, she thought that maybe she was reading too much into the situation, but Tsukishima’s reaction after Yamaguchi interrupted the fight, made her sure - even though Tsukishima was avoiding Yamaguchi, he still was observing him from afar. And the pained expression that flashed on his face when Yamaguchi turned his back on him without saying anything, made her gasp.
Yamaguchi wasn’t any different, actually. He also wasn’t approaching Tsukishima but he was constantly stealing glances at him. Yachi knew that both of them didn’t really want to be like this.
“Um, Tsukishima-kun…” Yachi started when the practice ended and she managed to catch him alone
“So now it’s you, Yachi-san?” Tsukishima sighed.
“I’m sorry for Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun. They are too hot-headed. But it’s not like they didn’t mean well. We’re all worried.”
“There’s nothing to worry, Yachi-san,” Tsukishima cut her off sharply.
“I think that’s what you want to believe, Tsukishima-kun. You aren’t hanging around with girls because you want to, right? And you definitely aren’t having fun,” she stated matter-of-factly. “You’d rather spend time with Yamaguchi-kun.”
“I…” Tsukishima wasn’t sure what to say. He might have been able to brush off Kageyama and Hinata but Yachi was a completely different case.
“Why are you doing this? Why are you distancing yourself from him? Even though you don’t want to?”
“It’s better for him like this,” Tsukishima finally said, his voice quiet.
“Better? I don’t understand how it's better. Especially that he doesn’t really seem to be happy about the whole matter. Have you talked about it with him? Or are you just deciding all by yourself what’s better for him? If you care about him then why? Tsukishima-kun...”
“I care too much,” Tsukishima whispered.
“Too much?” Yachi echoed, weighing the words on her tongue. There was a long moment of silence before Yachi finally gasped.
“Do you understand now?” Tsukishima asked. He sounded so helpless that Yachi had to fight the urge to pull him into a hug.
“You should tell him,” Yachi stated firmly, to which Tsukishima only shook his head. “No, you have to tell him. You can’t mess up more than you already did. And, no matter the result, you will feel better, I promise you. Yamaguchi-kun would be at peace too, at last knowing what’s going on.”
*
Tsukishima was beating himself about what he should do now. All he did before backfired. Everything went too far already and he was sure that there was no turning back. Reluctantly, he agreed with Yachi. He already destroyed the friendship that was between him and Yamaguchi, so a little love confession wouldn’t really make any difference.
Tsukishima was standing in front of the door to Yamaguchi’s place, nervously fiddling with his fingers. He rang the bell and waited, repeating different scenarios in his head. Tsukishima flinched when it was Yamaguchi who opened the door for him. The other stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded, and then slammed the door shut, without even saying anything.
“Yamaguchi!” Tsukishima tried to open the door.
“What do you want?” Yamaguchi shouted from the inside. “Go away.”
“I want to talk with you.”
“There’s nothing to talk about!”
“I have something to tell you!”
“I don’t want to hear that.”
“Yamaguchi, please,” Tsukishima leaned his forehead against the door. “I beg of you.”
There was a moment of silence before Yamaguchi slowly opened the door and let Tsukishima in without saying a word.
“Your mom?” Tsukishima asked, as they were awkwardly standing in the entrance.
“I’m alone at the moment,” Yamaguchi answered quietly, not looking at Tsukishima.
“Ah… that somehow makes it easier,” he took a deep breath. “Um, Yamaguchi I… I like you,” Tsukishima finally said, bracing for whatever was coming his way. And, just like he expected, Yamaguchi started to talk fast, his voice raised:
“What did I do to make you hate me? Wait, what did you say?” he fell quiet, snapping his eyes at Tsukishima.
“I like you,” Tsukishima repeated, feeling embarrassed.
“You’re lying.”
“Why would I lie?”
“Because you wouldn’t avoid me for such a long time if you liked me! You wouldn’t start going out with so many girls if you liked me! You wouldn’t make me feel like this!” Yamaguchi sounded bitter and his voice was breaking. Tsukishima felt so guilty that it was physically painful for him. Especially when he noticed tears in Yamaguchi’s eyes.
“I don’t hate you, I couldn’t ever hate you,” Tsukishima said quietly, not sure what to do.
“Then act like it!” Yamaguchi was glaring at him, desperately holding back tears.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I really am sorry,” Tsukishima moved fast to hug Yamaguchi tightly. “I never wanted to hurt you, I thought it would be better like this.”
“It wasn’t,” Yamaguchi sobbed quietly, leaning his forehead against Tsukishima’s shoulder.
“What should I do now?”
“Like me properly.”